Ok, I hate Open Office now. It literally changed my WHOLE DOCUMENT of this story to hashtags. HASHTAGS. I had so much done too!

I DRANK MILK FOR HALF OF IT, I CAN'T GET THAT BACK!

IT HAPPENED TWICE. WTF OPEN OFFICE?!

DISCLAIMER- I don't own-blah, blah, blah, do you guys still need this?

WARNING- Lots of swearing. Sick humor. Pretty much it.

So with that misunderstanding over, Arthur had introduced himself remembering the gentlemanly thing to do. "Oh... Uh.. Sorry," he put the stapler back into his jacket pocket, then continued, "my name is Arthur Kirkland, I've heard a lot about you, Aliana."

Aliana put her hands in front of her in a defensive stance. "I SWEAR TO GOD, I DIDN'T KILL THAT BOY!"

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Ok...?" He started to question her sanity at this point. She was increasingly different from most women he has met during his other manor undercover jobs (which were surprisingly the most often jobs). Of course, the women in this manor aren't exactly "high-class". More so over dramatic, random, and unrealistic in a sense. But this woman, she seemed to be mix all three along with way too much ghetto.

Before he could ask Aliana any questions, Alistair walked into the kitchen from the backdoor that Arthur never noticed or actually acknowledged. He must have changed to more comfortable clothing the last his brother saw of him because he wore tan work pants covered in mud and dirt, a light green t-shirt, tan steel-toed work boots, dirty gardening gloves, and a straw hat. The red-head took off the gloves setting them down on the counter then, ignoring everyone in the room (or not noticing them), went to a basket on that exact counter that had fruit, took an apple, and bit into it like a savage beast that just killed its prey. As if he was in deep thought about something unpleasant and needed to take out some of his anger.

"Woah, what's with you? That apple didn't stomp on your roses. Did it?" Julia asked the very likely pissed off, apparently from what Arthur concluded, gardener and driver of the manor. Monika glared at her sister with those icy blue eyes of her's making the albino nervous, but not entirely regretful.

"Shut the fuck up, red eyes. I'm not in the mood for your sarky attitude." He hissed before taking another violent chomp out of the apple.

Oh he is not happy. Arthur observed. Thanks a lot Captain Obvious... Like the brutal apple murder wasn't enough to tell that he's not sunshine and lollipops.

Alistair saw Arthur looking at him most likely lost in thought or some shit like that. He's probably pulling that stupid psychology shit in his mind about me. He thought to himself and, in all honesty, he could care less. He ate his apple (barbarically may I add) and looked at the floor bitterly. The room went silent and stayed that way for a good 2 minutes until-

"Do any of you guys think that boobs are like nature's pillows?" Aliana randomly asked breaking the silence. Sadik and Julia tried their hardest not to bust out laughing at the odd question, Monika face-palmed, and Dmitri laughed nervously scratching the back of his head. While Alistair showed an amused smirk.

"W-What?" The flustered Englishmen asked, eyes wide and face slightly red.

"I said-" Aliana smirked, "-'Do any of you guys think that boobs are like nature's pillows?'" As she repeated the sentence as she lifted up her breasts after every syllable, for emphasis.

"Well-" Alistair was interrupted by Arthur who smacked the back of his head.

"Don't answer her." He looked at Aliana suspiciously. "I don't mean to be rude, but what exactly is wrong with you?"

"Oh! Now that you've asked, I need to tell you my very cliché back story, in the most cliché way." She said, slightly dramatically, making the immature idiots (Julia, Sadik, and probably Alistair) chuckle, using very exaggerated hand gestures. "I was born feet first and purple. I grew up in a very ghetto neighborhood, where toughness is more important than intelligence. My family has been in jail countless times and we're banned from 13 states. Once we even had to break my cousin Marco out of prison while fighting off a guard dog with an eraser and a milk carton. I, personally, went to jail twice. Once for accidentally being inside of a meth lab." The look from Arthur told her to elaborate. "See, I thought the sign that said, 'NOT A METH LAB' said, 'FREE ICE CREAM'. I was slightly dyslexic or high on Monster, I can't remember, and I was reading REALLY fucking fast. So, long story short, the cops came. I was mistaken for a meth maker and I never got my ice cream." Julia fucking lost it, she literally had to excuse herself from the goddamn room. She NEVER excuses herself. So you know shit was serious.

Arthur raised his eyebrow. "And the second time?" He asked, equally intrigued and puzzled.

"The second time? Oh, that is a crazy ass story." Aliana said with a psychotic smile. "So, one of my cousins that he wanted me to walk to IHOP with this big ass purse, right? He would pay me $50 and I'm just all like, 'Fuck yeah!' Later on I learned the thing was full of drugs. Marijuana, cocaine, heroin, all that shit. And it was the good shit, from what the cops told me. So, back to the story, I'm walking to IHOP and I run into my parole officer, I had to have one because of the meth lab incident. To get me to stay out of trouble and stuff. We start getting into this deep argument about food. Just when I was in the middle of my part of how pizza is better than hamburgers, I drop the purse, and all these nicely wrapped packages fall out.

Keep in mind, I had no idea what the hell was in that big ass purse. My parole officer calls more police men, I get put into holding, interrogated, and claimed innocent because I pretty much snitched on my cousin. And, as we all know, snitches get stitches. So I get the back-hand of karma, with help of my cousin. The night before his trial, he dared me to slap the judge just before I get off the witness stand. My motto is to never go back on a dare. So I do just that, and went to jail for 2 weeks." Aliana finished unceremoniously.

Arthur nodded. "I'm going to check on Julia." He announced before walking out of the room.

"I think you freaked out Mr. Stick-Up-His-Ass." Alistair said to Aliana.

"Totally." Aliana responded.

On the other side of the manor, Maddie was being dragged around by an energetic Dane while the rest of the Scandinavians walked calmly behind them. This went on until finally they ended up at a set of glass French doors. "And this," Frayja said, pointing to the doors, "is the garden. Em and Lukas knows more about the place then I do. But there's like, this hoard of swings-" That's what made Maddie look at the doors with this happy expression like a little kid who was going to Disney World.

"Swings.." She looked at the others with a puppy eyes glance. "Can we go? Please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaase!" She asked. She loved swings. Who could blame her? Swings are amazing, they're like flying without the commitment, insane injury or high possibly of death if you fall.

The Dane grinned at her sudden interest in something she said. "Sure!" She announced happily before her other siblings could protest and Frayja happily lead her through the doors to the back of the house where the swings were.

And let me tell you, it was swing enthusiast's dream. Swings at various heights for all ages. Large swings for groups and swings that don't even look like they should be swings. "Holy mother of pancakes!" Maddie squealed with delight. I mean, who wouldn't squeal with delight. Bitch we have swings!

"I know! Awesome right!" The spiky haired blonde sad with a grin.

• • •

Inside the house Julia sneezed while Arthur tried to rally the children up and move to a different location with Aliana giving him a headache and Alistair turning the headache into a terrible migraine. Monicka had a hold on Julia with Dmitri behind them looking at the ruckus with a sigh. Sadik however was making a plan involving shaving cream, eggs, white vinegar, and feather boas. Lots of feather boas.

"Weird.." The albino mumbled before returning to her earlier activity of enjoying the chaos around her.

• • •

"Awesome? ITS AMAZING!" The Canadian squealed again.

• • •

The albino sneezed once more. "Are the cats here or...?" She whispered to her eldest brother. Who shrugged and just patiently waited for Monicka to lash out and maintain order.

• • •

"Kristy! Kristy! I wanna go down to swing!" Rika said happily looking down from the tall teen's shoulders at the unicorn swing. Which was a wooden brilliantly painted unicorn on strong metal wires in the usual swing fashion that make it an amazing looking swing.

Kristina knew which swing Rika wanted to go on and walked over to the majestic looking unicorn and set the little Finnish girl on it. She proceeded to push her on the swing making the little one giggle happily while she went higher and higher.

Maddie took that chance to grab the others and with a smile to the swings. "Let's join her!" She said happily. You can easily guess that they spent 2 hours there. Playing games, daring each other to do tricks on some of the really odd swings and simply swinging to their heart's content.

Lukas had started his bit with Emil about calling him, "big brother" instead of his name. And with the usual answer of, "I'm not going to call you that!" From the purple eyed boy.

"Is this a ritual or something?" Maddie asked Kristina who was still pushing Rika. "Y-You know.. Because no one is really trying to do anything a-aboot it..." She said a little nervously when explaining why accidentally slipping into her habit of saying "aboot" instead of "about".

The tall Swedish girl nodded. "It usually happens once every week." She said with very pretty voice that was smooth and melodic.

Maddie was a little shocked because this was the first time she heard her voice. "Uh... Ok, Kristina."

Then when the scene was over the fun continued, and Lukas "accidentally" pushed Frayja off of her swing at around 1 hour and 40 minutes in. After the swings Emil wanted to show her his favorite room in the house. "It's where my girlfriend is." He explained.

Maddie raised an eyebrow. "You already have a girlfriend?"

"Yup!" He said with a grin. Frayja and Rika showed knowing glances while Kristina and Lukas looked just as shocked and confused as Maddie.

This'll be good. Frayja thought with a little snicker as she followed the Icelantic boy.

FINALLY! I couldn't find the right time to end the chapter until now!

And 2 things:

1. Yes, Julia is allergic to cats. Idk why I made her allergic to cats but eh, there's plenty of them with Heracles around XD

2. SWINGS ARE AMAZING SO DO NOT QUESTION THE HUGE SECTION OF SWINGS, OKAY? OKAY.

Have a sparkly perfecto day you lovely people~!