"Honey I'm home!" Homer blurted as he walked through the door, still drunk. "And I'm ready to Duff my way into you!"
"Damn it, sonny! I wanted to be dead before you made a pathetic joke! Hell I wanted to be dead before the authors of the world started making crappy fanfiction involving farting she-Homers and sassy, stinky shrooms!" Grampa Simpson cursed, feeling doomed to live through every mess that Homer would ever get himself into.
"Shut up, old man! I know where you live!" Homer blurted, losing his balance and falling to the floor as Marge, Bart and Lisa stormed into the room, with Maggie in Marge's hands.
"Homer! What the hell is wrong with you?" Marge remarked.
"He's didily-didily-drunk from didily-dadily-drinking dadily-didily Duff!" Ned Flanders stated, peering into the Simpsons' household.
"Get out of here, Flanders! This is none of your concern!" Lisa remarked.
Ned lowered his head in shame as he walked back to his house next door.
Suddenly, Homer woke up, feeling somewhat sober. "What...what happened?"
"You got drunk and then I lied about it!" Bart stated while chuckling.
"Why you little-!" Homer grabbed Bart's neck and strangled him in exasperation, with Bart making choking noises in vain.
Maggie pulled out a can of Duff brand beer from out of her blue robe, shaking it, then pointing it at Homer and opening it, the pressurized beer going into Homer's mouth, getting him drunk again, which caused him to stop strangling Bart.
"Maggie saved my life...I feel like eating my own shorts...!" Bart gasped.
"Now you're just talking crazy." Lisa remarked.
"Maggie! No getting your father drunk without my permission!" Marge remarked.
Maggie just giggled as she pulled out her pacifier and sucked on it loudly.