I know, I'm sorry. I wanted this out WAY sooner than weeks later, but hey, RL can be a bitch. I had a midterm that took most of my focus and pretty much shoved this story out of the way. But I'm back! Hopefully the next chapter won't take me three weeks to publish.

I forgot in the first chapter to give a little background. This story is based on something that actually happened to me. The phone call, not the ensuing mayhem (no, I didn't get interrogated by the FBI). The minute it was over, I thought, 'what would Stephanie Plum do?' and this happened.

Also, the first few chapters are going to be a little slow (mostly because Ranger won't be showing up for a bit...). I'm going to be setting up this little story. And yes, it is a BABE story. So babes... have faith.

Not mine, but I wish I could play with Ranger... or Lester... for a little while. The only thing is, is my mistakes.

Weeks before…

In Chambersburg, New Jersey, there are two rules. Rule number one: grow up, marry and push out babies to continue the cycle. The second is keeping your house so clean that the neighbors can't complain. My mother and sister is world class expert in following the rules; their houses are pristine and my sister has pushed out the required grandchildren.

Me? Not so much. I tend to break rules… and everything around them.

My name is Stephanie Plum. I'm of average height and on good days my weight allows me to snap my jeans. I have curly brown hair and a witty personality that I got from my Italian father and big blue eyes and my fast metabolism from my Hungarian mother.

I, fortunately, managed to make it out of the Burg. I have a small apartment in Hamilton Township, about ten minutes from my parent's place, which made my mother at least somewhat happy. My sister moved to California with her first husband, which made my mother freak. When she came back, divorced with her two kids, my mother figured that moving farther than two streets away was the devil. This was a nice compromise. I get to be on my own and my mother can pull the proverbial umbilical cord. The building was new and the apartments were well lit and open. The walls beige and carpet Berber, but I classed it up with some vibrantly colored furniture. My couch was red and the lounge chair a deep purple. The bedspread was blue and all my bathroom accessories were a nice green. All the tables and chairs were a nice cherry wood. The kitchen has a very happy yellow. By themselves, they would've looked out of place, but in my apartment, somehow it worked. It wasn't a penthouse, but definitely a big step up from the crappy apartments I lived in when I was in college.

Currently, I was relaxing in my tub, enjoying a bubble bath and a good book. The heroine was about to get her brains screwed out by the swarthy bad boy with a heart of gold when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

Joe came in, smiling wide. "Well, this is a nice view." He said.

I sniffed the air. "Do I smell Pino's?"

He held up the bag. "Meatball sub, as promised."

Yum. "Give me a second."

He stepped in, gave me a sweet kiss on the lips, and left.

Joe Morelli has been my boyfriend for the last year. He's full blooded Italian with dark hair, chocolate eyes that melt when I'm naked and a body all the actors in Hollywood would die for. I've known Joe all my life since we grew up only a few streets from each other and he was my first for a few important stages in my life. He taught me how to play choo-choo at six and stole my virginity at sixteen on the Tasty Pastry floor. We met again three years ago at my engagement party. I was almost arrested for assaulting my ex-fiancé when I found him banging Joyce Barnhardt in the coat closet. Joe and I became friends and finally, a couple after a few years of shuffling feet. Things were good, so we were taking it slow.

My mother, on the other hand, keeps reminding me of my biological clock. Apparently it's keeping her up at night. But I'm in no rush for the marriage and babies thing. I'm twenty-seven years old and enjoying life.

Sighing, I put the bookmark back in place with a mental "I'll pick that up later" and made my way out of the tub. I dressed quickly in a stretchy top and shorts and made my way to the table.

Joe had just finished doling out the subs and potato salad. I grabbed the beers and met him at the table.

"How was work today?" I asked him. Joe's a vice cop for the Trenton Police department. Most days he wore jeans and a t-shirt, but on court days, he wore a suit. Most of the people on the force said he looked like a casino pit boss, but I thought he looked pretty sexy.

"Had to testify on one of my cases today." He said, rolling up his dress shirt sleeve. He told me about the case he was working on. Drug busts were getting closer to the burg. I loved being with Joe, but when he talked about work, I tend to tune it out a little and do the nodding thing while I work on my shopping list. I'm pretty sure Joe does the same thing to me. We have an understanding.

"Cross is tomorrow and then I'll be done. I hate court days. The guys leave casino chips all over my desk for a week."

"They do it because it's fun." I actually thought it was cute. Joe didn't, but hey, the guys need to blow off steam somehow.

"Those guys need a hobby. How was your day?"

I work for Trenton Insurance as a Customer Advocate. Actually, it's a glorified title. All I do is sit around and listen to people bitch all day about their policies. I've been working at that job for five years and while the pay is good, I want to be doing something… more.

"There's a position opening in the claims department. It's more of an investigative job. I'd go out and see who's a big, fat liar and who's not. I'm thinking about applying for it."

Joe made a face. "Are you sure? The job won't be as glamorous as you think. I do that all day and most days the people are even ruder in person than on the phone."

"I listen to people bitch all day. How could it be any worse?" I shrugged. "Besides, I'm just applying. Doesn't hurt to apply, does it?"

"Fair enough." He squeezed my hand. "If it's what you want, I hope you get it."

I smiled and squeezed back. The rest of the meal was finished in silence. Joe stayed for the hockey game, but spent more time making out on the couch. He left shortly after, stating he needed an early start; I walked him to the door and we kissed for a minute or two longer.

"Next time I'll stay."

"Good." I pecked him one more time and he was gone.

After cleaning up the kitchen, I got ready for bed and settled in for a night of reading. My eyes flew across the page and something stirred in my lower belly. The heroine was definitely having a better sex life than I was right now, and I was a little jealous. But that wasn't causing the tingles. She was on the run for her life and having a great adventure with a sexy, yummy man and I was… jealous.

I knew that it was a book, but I was still jealous all the same. Realizing that it was midnight and I had to work early, I sighed and replaced the bookmark. Reading about romantic adventures was why most people read. They were supposed to be engaged in the story and entertained.

Not jealous.

I sighed again and flipped. I wanted something more and maybe the new job (if I got it) would do that for me, but there was still the nagging feeling that I was missing out on something. The feeling stayed with me until I finally drifted off to sleep.

And in case you missed it because you were too excited. YES, this is a BABE story. Don't worry, and trust me.