"Thanks for the shiner, babe."

Jasper wasn't one to complain but a black eye was no wedding gift. Nothing could have prepared him for Eleanor's fit this morning. She got out of bed and paced around in denial. She was halfway across the room when a comment he should have kept to himself led her to the next phase of grief. Anger fell short of what she displayed before she locked herself up in the bathroom, leaving him with a black eye and a cracked phone screen. Since her little melt down about an hour ago, she had somewhat regained her composure and emerged from the bathroom with the darkest make up he'd seen her wear in quite some time.

"Well if you like, I can hit you in the other eye and even it out. You can wear my sunglasses. I don't care."

"Princess, we've only been marrie-"

"Supposedly married." She corrected him as she applied a second coat of mascara. "For all I know you're trying to hold this over my head Jasper. You had me fooled with the sex tape. Can't pull a stunt like that twice."

"If you're so convinced this isn't real, why are you still wearing the ring?"

Jasper made eye contact with her through the mirror. The look on her face said enough. Jasper 1, Her Royal Highness 0. As soon as she looked away he smirked to himself. He wasn't trying to make her any angrier, all contraire. He'd actually been worried when he couldn't hear her through the bathroom door. It was best not to push her buttons, not until they knew what they were dealing with here. The only way to do that was to go back to the scene of the crime.

Their only leads were the rings on their fingers and a picture in his phone. Nothing romantic or remotely funny about it. Just them, in front of the chapel flipping off who ever took the picture. Anyone in their right mind could tell they were very intoxicated from just looking at this picture. He couldn't wait to meet the idiot who let them get married in the first place.

"Well, I'm ready for my close up." He announced as he put on her cat eyed sunglasses and walked to the door. He opened it for her since it was the least he could do for his bride right now. Soon enough, they would go to the chapel, find out nothing happened and it was all a ceremony done just for fun. No wedding license, no annulment, no harm done. Jasper couldn't wait to laugh this all off.

"Why the hell are you laughing?!"

Eleanor demanded as she narrowed her at him. Jasper was laughing in order to not cry at this point. His face hidden in his arm as he laid it across the hood of the car. Turning back to the mess before her she bit the insides of her cheeks.

This couldn't be happening. Much like her life, the chapel where they supposedly got married in the night before, had burned to the ground. The fire fighters were packing up and getting ready to leave as soon as the one who seemed to be in charge was done talking to a half dressed Elvis impersonator. God forbid that had been the man to sign off on all this.

As soon as the firefighters were on their way, she approached him not really sure how to phrase any of the questions she had in mind. The man seemed to recognize her. One could even say he was happy to see a familiar face. Fuck. And according to him, his partner had wed them at some point after midnight. This was not what she wanted to hear. Whose bright idea was it to place the Clark County Marriage Bureau a few blocks away from a 24 hour wedding chapel!? It was like storing ammo and guns in the same place!

"So we actually got married? Marriage license, legal documents and all?" She asked, feeling somewhat defeated by now.

"I told Juan that the fire dancers were a bad idea… That couple that came in after y'all was just so hell bent on having them." He explained with a sigh, ignoring her question about their ceremony. Who the hell cared about THESE idiots and their wondering circus!? "I didn't even get to give them their certificate. It was all lost in the fire."

"Wait. All lost? You mean.. our paperwork too?" A ray of hope!

"Oh no, I was out taking care of all the previous documents when these folks came in. Your stuff is safe and on its way!" He said with much too much enthusiasm. "You should get a certificate in the mail in a few weeks. You two are very much officially married!"