Arthur was eating dinner with his father that evening, examining the man. The gray in Uther's hair was only highlighted by the shine on the gold crown that he wore. The lines on his face shown easily, and Arthur knew that any other king would have stepped down from the throne to enjoy retired life within the decade. But Arthur knew that this was his father, and he would rule until the day he died, ninety years old or not.
"What's on your mind?" Uther said as Merlin came over and poured him more wine.
Merlin turned to Arthur, expectation in his face that could only be seen by him. His eyebrow was raised in a fashion eerily similar to Gaius, and Arthur knew that it probably meant he should get it over with. He sighed as he readjusted in his seat.
"Do you remember when Morgause showed me my mother, and fooled me into thinking you used magic to aid my birth?" Arthur asked as if he had just mentioned the weather.
Uther's eyes betrayed no emotion, and he merely asked "I do. What brings this on, son?"
Arthur's pale blue eyes bored hard into his fathers as he set down his silverware. "She wasn't lying, was she."
Uther paused for a moment to look at his son. "Of course she was!" He said, laughing off the assertion.
"I'm not the boy I was anymore, father, and I am not at all inclined to harm you like I was before. I just want you to be honest with me." His voice was cold but expectant. "I know you never meant your wife any harm."
"I am being honest with you, Arthur, when I say that magic never played any part in your birth at all." Uther's tone was hardened and serious now. "Let's stop saying such things and continue with our dinner."
Arthur wanted to leave it alone, he knew his father would deny it now, but he snapped before he could help himself. "So the great purge just happened to start on my birthday?" Arthur asked sarcastically.
Uther then shot a glare at Merlin for a second that chilled the man right down to his toes. Merlin would never think about harming Uther, for Arthur's sake, but Merlin would never actually go through with doing it because the man terrified him. And now it seemed he pissed him off.
"What on earth has put these ridiculous ideas in your head?" Uther asked harshly. "I thought we laid this to rest years ago."
Arthur sighed, and sent an apologetic glance Merlin's way. But before Arthur could continue, Merlin asked "Should I go?" meekly.
"I think not," Uther growled out.
"Father," Arthur said threateningly, and Uther reluctantly focused his attention on his son. "During our hunting trip, Caerleon's forces attacked us."
"That deep into the kingdom?" Uther asked, astounded. "Those scoundrels!" He exclaimed. "They mean war!"
"Yes, but that's not the central issue right now." Arthur said. "They chased us very far, but we ended up in a cave in the white mountains. One of their soldiers planted a bow in my back." Arthur sucked in a breath. "Merlin tells me I was near death," he said, gesturing towards Merlin. "The Druids brought Merlin and I to their camp, I unconscious."
"You went into a Druid camp with my son defenseless?" Uther shot at Merlin, shocked. "You fool!"
"He is not, and here's why," Arthur interrupted. "They healed me, like they did Leon all those years ago. Then they let us on our way, without following us or harming us at all." Arthur's eyes hardened. "If they really meant the throne harm, wouldn't they have killed me then?" He asked.
Before giving Uther a chance to reply, he said "But I digress. While I was in their camp, the subject of Morgana and Morgause came about. I noticed Merlin was hiding something, and demanded he tell me," Arthur said, editing the story on the spot a little bit without outright lying, "And he said he was lying."
Uther stood, and Arthur followed suit. Merlin stood there holding a jug of wine, feeling very out of place. "What would you know about the truth of what she was saying?" Uther said condescendingly to Merlin.
Merlin thought quickly on the spot, not wanting to implicate Gaius. "You came to Gaius's chambers afterwards. You were shaken up, anyone could tell you were hiding something when you spoke to me," he said unsurely.
Uther's eyebrows raised and his face became bemused. "You mean to tell me you told him that on a hunch?" Uther asked, but then the light entered his eyes.
"I know who told you," Uther ground out before he could stop himself. "He had no right - "
"To tell me, not Merlin." Arthur interrupted once again, "So it's true?" He asked expectantly. "You used magic to have an heir?"
Uther swore mentally, realizing he got himself stuck. Merlin in that moment saw the family resemblance between Uther and Arthur strongly, the behavior reminding him so much of when Merlin caught Arthur in a lie.
"She tricked me," he said aggressively to the pair of them. "She did not mean to tell me Igraine would die!"
"But it was the cup of life, you knew someone would!" Arthur raised his voice at Uther. Merlin's worry increased as he saw the situation devolve quickly, and he took a tentative step away from the table. "And you were just okay with that!" Arthur insisted, bringing a hand down on the table.
"Without an heir, the kingdom would fall to ruin Arthur, you know that!" Uther implored his son, bringing his hands into the air.
"My issue is not with the magic," Arthur said, shocking Uther. "My issue is that you started persecuting it in the first place," he said, evenly and with distaste.
"Nimueh was only the first in a long line of sorcerers bent on bringing down the kingdom," Uther shouted. "Surely you see this! You have lived it, for gods sake!" He slammed his fists down on the table.
Merlin set down the jug on the end of the table, and tried to leave the room. "Don't go," Arthur said to Merlin, eyes not leaving his own father.
Merlin looked at the awkward situation. Uther's bulging eyes centered on Merlin's face, while Arthur kept his gaze trained on the king. Their poses spoke of anger, while Arthur's specifically held a royalty that Merlin thought would suit him greatly as king. He saw the full power Uther wielded as the current king, and feared for his safety after this argument.
"Why?" He asked weakly.
Arthur glanced at him one more time, and that all it took for the servant to stay. Uther seemed too distracted to care whether Merlin was there. The king quickly took advantage of the silence. "Sorcerers, and those who practice magic, will stop at nothing to see our kingdom destroyed," Uther said with gravity, believing he had reminded his son.
"No," Arthur said, defiance written all over his features. "It is you who will stop at nothing to destroy them." His eyes hardened into anger. "In my short life, I have met sorcerers who want nothing more than to live unmolested, and some even went so far as to help the Pendragons, the ones who would see them executed!" Arthur's voice crescendoed as he spoke. "How could you not see this! I will uphold your laws as long as you live," Arthur found himself saying, "But when I am king, things will be different." Arthur went to leave, Merlin following him instinctually.
Merlin's heart leapt at Arthur's words, although he was shocked at their content. Before he walked out of the room, he turned to Uther and said "And I won't let you lay a hand on Merlin." Then the two walked out of the room, leaving Uther alone.
As soon as the door shut, Merlin turned to Arthur and raised his eyebrows, letting out a big sigh. Arthur followed suit in agreement, walking down the hall towards... Anywhere but the council room.
"So where'd that come from?" Merlin asked, stunned by his final words in the room with his father.
"I may have gotten a little away from myself," Arthur admitted, "but I meant what I said. When I am King, things will be different. I hope you're okay with that," Arthur said wryly, turning to Merlin. His tone spoke of confidence, and by the way Arthur held himself Merlin knew he really meant what he said.
Merlin's heart was rising up into his chest at the same time a lead weight settled into his stomach. He was so happy to hear Arthur say those words in such definitive terms, but at the same time it meant the line was now getting vague on whether or not he could tell Arthur about who he truly was. Admittedly, he had dreamed about this moment. He had spent too much time lately imagining all the ways it could have gone, imagining the ways he could overreact mostly, and now when the time came close he couldn't imagine actually doing it.
"Oh don't have a heart attack," Arthur joked at Merlin, seeing him react. "I truly believe returning magic to the kingdom will be a good thing. No need to act like it will be awful." Arthur's face furrowed though, and Merlin knew that this was a worry Arthur had. Best comfort Arthur to distract from himself.
"It will be good for the kingdom," Merlin said sincerely. "There is much good magic could bring to the people of Camelot."
Arthur raised an eyebrow as he looked at Merlin. "And how would you know that?" Arthur asked. Merlin's face took on the appearance of someone scrambling for a cover and Arthur said "You know what, nevermind," Arthur shook his head. "For someone with a lot of secrets, you're certainly awful at lying," Arthur laughed. "I'm quite shocked I never noticed you were hiding something before."
Merlin felt a ray of happiness at not needing to lie to Arthur anymore, at least to cover up his other lies. The time would come for Arthur to know everything about him soon enough, just as Gaius always said.
After Merlin got Arthur settled for the evening and ensured he needed nothing else from him, he headed back down to the physicians chambers to talk to Gaius about what he'd read last night - and what had transpired today between Arthur and his father.
When he got to the door, he heard Uther inside talking to Gaius. He stood by the door to overhear the conversation.
"How could you do that?" Uther aggressively said. "I trusted you!"
"I told Merlin, and the boy had already figured it out for himself," Gaius insisted. "Had I denied it he would have seen right through me."
"It was still not your place," Uther hissed at the physician.
"Not my place?" Gaius asked incredulously. "You only made the information secret after Igraine died! For nine months, everyone knew you had consulted Nimueh! There are still older people in the town that know, let alone your own son!"
"It is not your place!" Uther snarled at Gaius.
"Uther!" Gaius snapped at the king, using his given name. It was enough to give him pause to think about what he was saying.
Uther straightened up with offense, and said "If you or the boy give me any reason to suspect anything, I will have him hanged."
Gaius looked at Uther as one would at a toddler who threw a temper tantrum as he headed for the door. Merlin packed, and threw himself in an alcove just as Uther walked through the door, and Merlin managed to hide without the king knowing. He walked through the physicians chamber door, shock on his face.
"So you heard?" Gaius asked.
"Yeah," Merlin said sighing. He raised his eyebrows out of shock.
Gaius looked around conspiratorially, then said "I know I shouldn't be telling you this, but I think the king is losing his nerve." He sat down wearily.
"What makes you say that?" Merlin asked Gaius.
"First Morgana, and just after he got over it, now this?" Gaius pointed out. "Uther told me what Arthur said just before he stormed out," his eyebrows raised, impressed.
Merlin merely nodded. "Yeah," he said, amazed by Arthur's words in the council chambers.
After a couple moments of silence, Merlin spoke up again. "I came to tell you about the fight they had, which you already heard, and..." Merlin paused. "To tell you about what that book said."
"The one the Druids gave you?" Gaius asked immediately, very curious about the matter.
"The Legends of Emrys, yeah," Merlin said. "I didn't get through a lot last night, it is a thick book, but I read the legends of the northern sorcerers at the northern most part of our continent," Merlin said. "They speak of a great warrior sorcerer who could rise or raze kingdoms at the blink of an eye, a warrior who would return magic to the lands of Albion in whatever way they choose." Merlin sighed. "The way the book wrote it, I basically had a choice between working together with Arthur or killing him and taking over Camelot." Merlin smiled, amused. "Basically I'm the only one who could successfully take over Camelot, and yet Morgana has dedicated her life to trying."
Gaius raised his eyebrow. "Prophecies can be defied," he said warningly.
"Yeah, but that incident with the crystal cave showed me that it's damn hard." Merlin said in response.
"In any case," Gaius said, "Rise or raze kingdoms?" He asked, amazed and laughing. "Looking at the skinny fool before me, I hardly find it possible." His gaze was full of affection.
"Well, I do know this," Merlin said, "That whenever I use my magic, I use less than a fraction of it. And even the tiniest amounts is so powerful - I've never dared delve into it deeper." Merlin cast his eyes away from Gaius in shame. "I've been afraid to."
"Rightly so," Gaius said promptly. "Uther is right about this; such power can corrupt people easily." He smiled at his ward warmly. "Magic clearly chose right when it chose you."
Merlin looked at Gaius disbelievingly. "One of the legends even spoke of a sorcerer Emrys who could see the whole of the earth, and stop it's celestial turn." He said this disbelievingly as well, clearly not trusting this legend.
Gaius's eyebrows hit his hairline in shock at what he had just heard. "Astral projections are a talent most sorcerers are capable of to some extent, but never for such distances," he said, immediately tutting. "And magic enough to stop the earth?" Gaius shook his head. "Seers and their prophecies, I tell you."
"What are astral projections?" Merlin asked inquisitively.
"To project yourself in such a way, you would need to fall into a trance and your spirit leaves your body," Gaius said. "The distance you can go and how much you perceive depends on your talent and skill as a sorcerer. They are great ways for sorcerers to be spies, as your spirit is not detectable by the living." Gaius frowned at Merlin, knowing the boy would surely get ideas. "There is a great risk involved, however, since you leave your body completely uninhibited and defenseless while you do so. There are also the rare cases where people cannot bond with their bodies again," Gaius said seriously. "It is not to be taken lightly." His eyes pierced his ward with concern.
"Of course," Merlin said. "I have very little desire to idly try this." His voice was sincere and Merlin truly meant it.
"You say that now," Gaius said dryly, standing up. "There's only so long a young man will wait to try new and interesting things, especially if an ancient prophecy says he can." Gaius gave Merlin a piercing look and raised one of his eyebrows.
Merlin put both his hands up in defeat. "I won't!" He justified. Gaius got back to his work with a look of extreme skepticism on his face.
Luckily, Arthur chose that moment to come in through the door.
"Merlin?" Arthur asked brusquely, seeing him sitting at the table. "Lets go," he said, gesturing to Merlin and walking through the door.
"Where are we going?" Merlin asked as they walked through the halls, Arthur in front and his pace hurrying along Merlin. Something was clearly on the prince's mind.
"Training!" Arthur informed Merlin. Merlin knew very well that he didn't need to be there, but the fact that he was requesting Merlin meant there was something more to this than beating a straw man to death - especially since it was raining this evening.
After a couple more moments of silent walking, Merlin decided to bite the bullet, as he didn't want to stand outside in the rain. "Anything on your mind?" He asked concerned.
Arthur looked around a couple of seconds, trying to pointedly ignore the comment, but ended up saying "I suppose there is," in defeat. Arthur slowed his pace and looked at Merlin, now walking next to him. "I am beginning to doubt my decision concerning magic," he said, lowering his voice at the last syllables. "My father has decades of experience as king behind his belt, and I am nothing more than crown prince - what would I know?" He asked, true worry showing.
Merlin supposed that this is what he'd been worrying about for the last couple weeks during his prolonged silence about the subject. "You have made the right decision, Arthur," he reassured his friend. "And I think if you ask just about anyone other than your father they'd agree with you," he said.
"How would you know that?" Arthur asked his servant, raising an eyebrow as they walked.
"Why don't you ask them?" Merlin asked, pointing at the training field.
The knights of the round table who were milling about alone on the wet training fields. They looked as if they were waiting for the two of them to show up, and when they did Gwaine exclaimed "Boys, you're finally here!"
Leon smiled. "We heard you and the king had a row, and Gwaine thought we could drag you to the tavern," he said with some skepticism.
"And you showed up here, like we knew you would," Gwaine said jovially. It seemed Merlin was not the only person who knew Arthur's habits.
Arthur looked back at Merlin, eyebrows pinched forward and eyes imploring, as if he did not want to do what he was about to do, and then said "Not tonight, Gwaine, but there is something I'd like to talk to the round table about," he said. "Come on, lets go inside." He gestured towards the armory, and the 4 knights plus Merlin and Arthur went inside.
"Sire?" Elyan asked after they stood in silence for a couple seconds. Arthur blew air out of of his mouth, and then started.
"For this story to make sense, I have to start on the night my father almost died, a couple weeks ago," Arthur said. "When he was lying on his deathbed, and then made a miraculous recovery. As it turns out, that was no miraculous recovery."
The knights all raised their eyebrows questioningly.
"The night before, I had asked Merlin to help me with something. I could not bear to lose my father… I asked him to help me find a sorcerer to heal the king." Arthur stopped in silence to give the knights a chance to react.
Leon stood stock still in shock, completely floored by the lawlessness of his prince, and Elyan too was the picture of betrayal. However, the rest of the crew (which had not lived in Camelot their entire lives) seemed as if this was perfectly reasonable, apart from the fact that magic was outlawed here.
Gwaine, for his part, even casually asked "What caused the change of heart, sire? About magic?"
Arthur tutted about for a couple of seconds before saying, "I've been hunting sorcerers and those who practice magic my entire life. I am not as unobservant as some would think," he said, looking disdainfully at Merlin.
Merlin had a panic attack in that couple seconds, laughing nervously as he was wont to do. For a split second, the awful thought struck him that Arthur had mathed out his secret and was going to reveal him right here and now, before he realized that he was being paranoid and merely giving Merlin crap.
Arthur gave Merlin a look of grief, before continuing, "…and I have noticed that every sorcerer that has attacked us, we attacked them first. That Camelot had done them a wrong, and they were responding in kind." Arthur sighed, and put his hands on his hips. "That does not make it right, but that does make it understandable," he said.
"And for those who I attacked first," Arthur said, "I had, for the most part, conceived of no other guilt than their being users of magic. Very often, they were tradesman or travelers who used magic for mundane things like making stronger thread or more plump livestock."
"For years now, I've been beginning to suspect not all magic is bad," Arthur said. "I've even told my father this every now or then, but he continues to insist that this is not the case." Arthur waved his hand in frustration with his father.
"So I recruited an old sorcerer, the same one caught planting the poultice, incidentally."
Leon looked aghast. "So you went and found a sorcerer who had been previously convicted of sorcerery against you?" he said, shocked and disbelieving.
Arthur looked at Leon skeptically. "It is true, he was caught planting a poultice to make Gunivere and I fall in love," Arthur said slowly, "But Gunivere and I were already in love. Why, then, would he go to such lengths?" He asked Leon. "It is almost as if he was taking the fall for Gunivere." he said to Leon.
Leon was silenced, but still very skeptical of the whole situation. Merlin, for his part, was proud of Arthur for figuring this all out on his own, and a smile split his face. Perhaps Arthur's distaste for 'Dragoon' was due to his disguise being an annoying old man, and not any actual perception of guilt.
"I brought him into Camelot, and had him heal my father in the dead of night." Arthur declared.
Leon put his head in his hands and muttered despairingly, "You used magic on the king." Elyan as looked as if he'd just been told to slay a dragon singlehandedly.
Arthur forged on. "Before doing so, he even discovered a magical amulet around my father's neck, designed to reverse any healing magic." His face turned into anger. "Someone found out my plan, and tried to kill him using the old man's magic. And the only people I told were Merlin, by extension Gaius, and Aggravaine."
The knights became suspicious again, and they all understood the unsaid implication; of all of those people, Aggravaine would be the most likely traitor, loathe though they were to believe it.
"I have began withholding and monitoring information that makes it's way to him as best I can," Arthur said, "But it's been difficult, since my father trusts him implicitly. And I can hardly tell him why Aggravaine is now under suspicion anyways," he said. "So, please keep your eye on the man," he said, and then turned to Gwaine to say "As subtly as you can."
Gwaine adopted a facial expression of mock offense, which Arthur promptly ignored. "But that is not the end of my story. The old sorcerer healing my father," Arthur took a deep breath, "Served only to make my doubt of my father's ways stronger. I had promised him I would free magic when I was king, and I was considering whether or not to keep that promise. I was still undecided, until Merlin and I went on the hunting trip we did a couple days ago." Arthur nodded to Merlin, as if it was his turn to tell part of the story.
"We were ambushed by the troops of Caerleon, as you all know," Merlin said. They did know; patrols in the kingdom had been increased tenfold, anticipating a march or war from the kingdom in the north. "But what was left out was that Arthur received a life-threatening injury, a bolt right in his back. I don't know if Arthur would have made it, except for the druids. They took us in, and healed Arthur completely with magic."
Leon's frustration now took target with Merlin, but he remembered how he himself had been healed by the druids with the cup of life. He didn't say anything, understanding why someone may trust the druids in particular.
"That was the day I decided that not all magic was bad, and that when I was king it would be re-legalized," Arthur said. "But what really cemented that belief was something Merlin told me at the druid camp." Arthur looked at Merlin before continuing. "He told me that Morgana did not study magic; it asserted itself, if you will, and she began to become frighted by it. You all remember the nightmares she had," Arthur clarified. "She had visions of the future, I think; she would often warn me about things before they happened." Arthur sighed regretfully.
"She went to Gaius for help, but Gaius feared what may happen to her if she knew she had magic and hid the truth from her. Merlin overheard, and tried to help her." Arthur looked at Merlin, knowing he'd tell the story the best.
"I took her to the druids, and she was being helped. But when the camp was stormed looking for her, and people killed because of her, it only solidified her hate of Uther's policies against magic," Merlin said. "She never liked them before, but now she had a personal stake. That is when Morgause found her, and they began to talk in secret, and I knew something was up with Morgana. It was secret still, until they attacked Camelot with the Knights of Medhir. That's when I knew Morgana had betrayed us."
The company nodded, remembering what little they could of the incident. "Morgana never fell asleep. The enchantment, cast by Morgause, was bound to her. To end the enchantment, Morgana's life had to be threatened." Merlin's breath rattled, getting to the part he was dreading.
"I poisoned Morgana, and the enchantment broke. I didn't want to do it, but if I didn't Camelot would surely fall." Merlin said, trying to justify himself to his friends. "I told Morgause the poison used in return for her releasing the Knights of Medhir. She did, and the two of them spirited away. It looked like Morgause abducted her, but Morgana was in league with her the whole time."
The knights looked at Merlin with empathy, Merlin still carrying around the guilt of what he did. Gwaine grabbed Merlin's arm heartily, expressing camaraderie.
"We would have done the same thing," Leon said to Merlin. It meant a lot, coming from the knight who held affection for the lady of the court, once.
"I told him the same thing," Arthur said, clapping the man on the shoulder. "That story convinced me it wasn't magic that turned people to evil, but the same things it has always been, the same things that turn a man to murder. Anger, sin, a desire for revenge…" he trailed off, shaking his head.
"And Merlin told me one other thing, the thing that got me into a fight with my father." Arthur sighed deeply, wondering what the company would think of him after this. "The great purge started exactly on my birthday," he said to inform the company. It was generally believed the great purge started long before Arthur's birth, although the official date was never discussed.
"And here is why. My father and mother had trouble conceiving," Arthur said, which was generally known, "And they sought treatment for it. When no natural treatment worked, my father consulted a high priestess, Nimueh, to help him have me. The magic says that for a life to be made, a life has to be given in tribute. Uther agreed, and neither he nor Nimueh knew what life would be taken in return. When it ended up being my mother's, Uther accused Nimueh of seeking to destroy the crown. My mother's death started the great purge."
The company, all of them, were aghast at the notion of Uther Pendragon ever allowing sorcery, let alone using magic to help him have a child. "Oh my lord," Elyan said in shock.
"Oh my lord, indeed," Arthur said. "I had been told this once before, by Morgause, many years ago. I attacked my father out of anger and betrayal, aghast that he would be so stubborn and blind as to put hundreds of innocent people to death. Merlin then told me, at the time," Arthur said, looking at the nervous Merlin. "That Morgause was lying." Arthur let Merlin stick up for himself on this one.
"You remember the fight, Leon, we could hear it outside," Merlin said. "Arthur would have killed Uther if I didn't stop him, and I tried reasoning - it was the only way. Neither Gaius nor myself corrected him for a long time because we were afraid he'd act out like that again."
Arthur gestured to Merlin. "But when I promised the druids that I would bring magic back to the kingdom, like I did that old sorcerer, Merlin felt that he could finally tell me." Arthur accidentally laden that statement with resentment, resentment Merlin immediately noticed.
"I confronted my father about it again, this time with reason and discourse," Arthur began.
"Mostly," Merlin interrupted. Arthur shot him a look but said nothing.
"He denied it as long as he could, but eventually he trapped himself and admitted the truth. To this day, he sincerely believes Nimueh and all magic users are out to get him still. I told him my decision; while he was king I would uphold his laws, but when I was king, I would free magic users from this tyranny." Arthur put his hands out, indicating defeat. "And that brings us to now."
"Wow," Elyan said.
"Wow." Leon agreed. The two others looked on with a minor amount of amusement, Percival outright grinning.
"I'm glad you feel this way, sire," Percival said.
The reaction surprised Arthur, and he asked "Why do you say that?"
Percival stood up tall. "It is my time to tell a story, sire, although it will be shorter." he said. "When I was a boy, I had a little brother named Aglaval. He was killed, along with my entire family, when Cenred invaded my home." The rest of them nodded, having been told the sordid tale before. Aglaval had died in his older brother's arms.
"What I have not told you is that after that happened, I lived with the Druids." Arthur's eyebrows raised. "They raised me until I was I man. I lived with them, learned the customs of those who learned magic and the customs of the druids. We traveled around the world, trading enchanted wares to help people with crops or medicine in return for food, water and supplies."
Percival smiled wistfully. "I wanted to be a sorcerer for a long time, but I don't have a lick of magic in me. I could never wield it." Percival looked at Arthur. "I left when I was old enough to care for myself, so I could learn to wield a sword and make a living for myself." Percival paused dolefully. "I was sad to learn Camelot banned magic, knowing what good it could bring, and am glad to see you realize what I have always known." Percival finished with solemnity.
Arthur offered out his arm, and Percival grabbed it at his elbow in return. "Thank you, my friend," he said to Percival. "This assuages my worries."
Percival replied, with the utmost sincerity, "I am glad I could help."
Merlin turned to Arthur. "See, I told you they'd support this," proving his point to Arthur.
"We are behind you, Arthur," Elyan said sincerely. "Whatever you decide. And I'm reluctant about this, but I think I agree with you."
"No more reluctant than I am," Arthur said.
"Well," Gwaine said, lightening the mood. "At least we know why the princess has been so withdrawn now." Gwaine's face turned serious. "You've made the right decision, Arthur."
"I hope so," he said, gesturing to the lot of them and heading back into the castle. Gwaine grabbed Merlin's arm and the two of them hung back behind the rest as they walked inside.
"So when are you going to tell him?" Gwaine asked mysteriously, an unreadable expression on his face. It struck Merlin as eerily similar to when Gaius would ask the same thing of him.
"What do you mean?" Merlin asked, doing his best not to let his panic get the best of him. There were plenty of things Gwaine could mean, he didn't necessarily have to be talking about -
"Your magic," Gwaine said bluntly. "When were you going to tell Arthur?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, Gwaine," Merlin said chucking nervously. "It's me, Gwaine, I can't possibly - "
"Cut the act, Merlin," Gwaine said, now serious. "I thought you weren't telling me because you feared for your life, but after seeing Arthur back there I realized it might just be because you don't know how - so I thought I'd make it easy on you," he said, an easy smily gracing his features.
Merlin's eyes fell with shame. "I'm sorry Gwaine, I never meant to lie to anyone," he said to Gwaine, hoping he'd understand.
"I was upset with you for a long time about not telling me, but I realize if I had a life-threatening secret like that I'd withhold it too. You know the truth about my father, but that secret couldn't get me killed. At worst, it would get me my own manservant." Gwaine's face curled as if he smelled horse droppings.
"And Arthur would feel the same way, you know. It's understandable that you'd hide sorcery from the son of Uther Pendragon," he said, his words underscoring how Merlin hoped Arthur would react.
"It's not that I'm worried about," Merlin said, "Because that is only the tip of the iceberg. There's a lot that you don't know, Gwaine, and I'm not sure Arthur would take all of that in stride." He shook his head with doubt.
"So enlighten me," Gwaine said casually.
"Fine, but you won't believe me," Merlin said laughing. "Lets go back to Gaius's chambers so we won't be interrupted." The two hurried back to the physician's quarters, Gwaine curious to know what the personal manservant to the prince had to hide. Gaius was puttering about, making tonics and tinctures when they arrived.
"Gwaine figured it out," Merlin said as they walked in, waving his hand.
"Figured what out?" Gaius asked, years of training hiding the surprise in his face.
"That I'm a sorcerer." Merlin said casually, taking a seat at the table. Had Gaius been drinking anything, he would have spit it out as he turned in shock towards Gwaine.
Gwaine, for his part, merely shrugged at the information. "I figured it out when I met him. We met in a barfight, and he was throwing plates with his magic."
Gaius then turned to Merlin with an expression Gwaine could tell was used before on the man hundreds of times - that of fatherly frustration. "You stupid boy," Gaius said to Merlin before returning to his work.
"Okay, I said you won't believe me and you won't," Merlin said, the disbelief evident on Gwaine's face. "Not only am I a sorcerer, I'm apparently the most powerful sorcerer in the world."
Gaius turned to Merlin abject horror evident in his face. He clearly did not approve of the information Merlin was divulging to his friend. "Merlin!"
Gwaine snorted. "You're right, I don't believe you. What makes you think that?"
Merlin sighed. "The druids call me Emrys. I am, evidently, a central figure in druidic and magical prophecies going back centuries. The first druid I ever met knew who I was and called me Emrys, and this was before I had ever met the druids."
This was when the shock finally hit Gwaine, his eyes going wide. "No way," he said.
"And what made you think telling Gwaine the drunk was a good idea?" Gaius asked Merlin skeptically. Gwaine looked offended at the implication.
"He won't tell," Merlin said, sighing. "I know he won't because he's known I have magic for out entire friendship and he hasn't told anyone yet. Besides, he's a knight, they keep secrets routinely in their job."
Gwaine sat up straight. "Yeah, what Merlin said," he said, gesturing towards the skinny servant.
Gaius raised an eyebrow and returned to his work. "It's your choice," he said despairingly.
"Well," Merlin said to Gaius, "I suspect the truth will be unraveling rather quickly now anyways. I'd better just deal with it as it happens rather than staving it off like I've been doing for years," he said dejectedly.
"Have you ever told anyone?" Gwaine asked. "Voluntarily, I mean?"
"Not before now, no," Merlin said. "I saved Gaius's life, that's how he found out. Lancelot knew, because I tried - and failed - to surreptitiously enchant the lance he used to kill the Griffin," Merlin said. "Griffins can only be killed with magic."
Gwaine nodded. "I suppose I'm not so offended you never told me anymore, and more honored that you told me about this. But… most powerful sorcerer ever," Gwaine said, breathless.
"And will ever be," Merlin added. "I've known for years and I still don't believe it. I must do something really impressive in the future for them to say that." Gwaine nodded, and Merlin continued. "That's my biggest secret, but there are lots of little ones piled on top of it. Like how I enchanted Lancelot's lance - little ways I changed the tide of a battle without anyone knowing, mostly. Lots of lies to Arthur over the years, big and small."
"His lies are like a house of cards," Gaius clarified. "They're all built around the one central piece - that Merlin has magic. All said to reinforce that one original." Merlin put his head on the table in his arms, clearly ashamed of how he'd had to behave over the better part of the last decade.
"I don't think I'd be able to recall all of them if I tried," Merlin said sadly. "There's so many."
Gwaine was silent for a second. "I can see how you're worried," he said. "Arthur doesn't take well to lies, especially after Morgana."
"Yeah," Merlin agreed. "I shared what I did with him at the druid camp, and he looked ready to take my head off at just those lies, which were really quite minor." Merlin sighed. "He's been hiding it from me to express his trust in me, but he's very angry with me for hiding things from him for so long." Merlin rubbed his face.
"What am I going to do?"