Thank you for reading the fanfic "Disconnection". It took some months to finalize this text and, this being my first one, was quite an experience. What you will see in this special chapter are some drafts that have not seen the light of day during the planning of the plot. It can be said that they are the 'removed scenes'. Each draft will be accompanied by my comments at the end.
The bell rang. End of the lunch break.
The students, in a hurry and congesting the corridors, were seeking to return to their classrooms.
"Let's go, Kyouko." Sayaka was ahead, looking for a path in the midst of people.
However, Kyouko had other plans. "Keep going. I'm gonna drink some water."
Sayaka scowled. "Kyouko..."
Kyouko gestured, ignoring the reaction of Sayaka. "C'mon! I already know where the classroom is. Don't worry."
"Okay." Sayaka took a deep breath. "Just don't try to cut class. Huh?"
Kyouko winked.
Not knowing the meaning of that answer, Sayaka tensed. Still she left, not wanting to cause a scene.
Kyouko went to the water fountain, where she had to wait in a short line.
...Just don't try to cut class...
"Tch... 'class'. Screw these classes! I don't understand anything!" Shouted Kyouko. "Shit Homura! Where was your head when you decided to put me here."
Some of those in line glanced at her.
"What? Hurry up with this, guys!"
After drinking, Kyouko was returning to the classroom across the now empty corridors. Through the transparent glass walls, it was possible to observe other classes happening.
"Worst thing is, I can't chew anything during class. Damn." Kyouko said, snorting.
At that moment something caught her attention, more specifically a person who was approaching a school's board down the hall.
But that's not...
Homura had her back to Kyouko, as she placed a poster with a warning about the infirmary.
Kyouko narrowed her eyes...
I can kill her right now.
...and she was fidgeting the fingers of her left hand.
I just need to summon a spear from the gem in my ring. Everyone will see, but no matter. It'll all be over.
The violet gem in Homura's earring swayed as she put the last pins.
Nah.
Kyouko closed her hand.
I have to find out more about what this crazy's been up.
Ignoring Homura, Kyouko made her way into the classroom. The class had already started.
She entered without ceremony.
"Late again, Sakura-san." Said the teacher.
Kyouko shrugged. "The line was long at the fountain." Before going to her desk.
Her neighbor, Sayaka, did not express much happiness to see her.
"Hey... You see that I didn't run away? Heh." Kyouko said as she sat down. "Try to guess who I found..."
"Kyouko." Sayaka interrupted, offering a notebook. "I marked the page with the notes of the last class. Don't miss it."
Kyouko received the notebook with a bit of strangeness. It was not usual from Sayaka to do so. When she opened the notebook from page with the folded edge, she saw the notes of class writing with pen. However, there was also a small message written in pencil:
Do not believe in coincidences.
Jafs: When I started to plan this fanfic, I had in mind that I wouldn't create a plot with epic proportions, with huge battles or blatantly showing a major threat. Instead, I would explore more the drama and emotional aspect of the characters and their interactions (or the lack thereof). Post-rebellion is a fertile ground for that and I couldn't miss it.
This scene would be in chapter 8 and was eventually replaced by the arcade one, which covers the same elements of the plot and more. I even could have left it, but would only have the function to be a filler.
／人 ◕‿‿◕ 人＼
Sayaka was waiting in the corridor, in front of the open doorway to her house. "The school doesn't wait!"
A voice echoed from the back of the home. "Let it wait! I'm not going without my kit!"
Sayaka put her hand on forehead. "That's what happens when you throw things rather than store it properly..."
"Good morning!"
Sayaka faced a skinny boy with neatly combed blond hair and bright red eyes. He was ready for school with his black backpack.
She soon recognized. "Ah! Good morning Hidaka-kun."
"It has been a while that we last seen each other. Generally, you leave earlier than me." Aki said, smiling.
"Oh yes! Hehehe. I think so." Sayaka was scratching the back of her head. "It's because I'm waiting for my darling lazy cousin."
With doubt, Aki raised his eyebrows. "Would it be that redhead who I saw at the last meeting of the condominium?"
"That's right."
"You're going together? How cool."
"Yes, it's so good when WE GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER!" Sayaka said, raising her voice.
Aki got startled a little with the reaction of Sayaka. "It seems that she'll take a while."
"You better not wait for her too."
"Yeah. I have to get to the metro. I can't be late for class..." Aki spoke the last words with regret, but then smiled. "Bye Miki-san. Maybe I'll see you in school."
"Who knows, right?" Sayaka nodded. "Bye Bye!"
Jafs: For those who remember, Aki lives in a residential condominium. What if that was the same complex where Sayaka lives? The whims of coincidence... I thought about putting Aki on a greater role in the plot (OC syndrome), becoming a bridge of communication between Nagisa and Sayaka. Something I wanted in this story was to have ordinary people bringing a more direct impact on the story. However, Homura would not have been so merciful with Nagisa in Chapter 9 (She would recognize the condominium). At the end, the person who got this role was Hitomi...
／人 ◕‿‿◕ 人＼
On the clockwork mechanism, the black birds watched the hubbub that was happening below.
Nagisa was running through the great hall of Homura's home, with a doll close behind.
Why did it have to be me! Her mouth full of sharp teeth was open, letting out her big purple tongue which swayed with every step. Nagisa changed the direction suddenly to surprise her pursuer.
But the doll was accurate, perfectly copying the trajectory of the girl.
If this keeps up, she just needs to wait for one mistake to...
Before she could finish her thought, Nagisa was surprised by a shower of large pins right in her path. They nailed in the ground and formed a barrier.
"What!" Nagisa paused for a moment before deciding to jump over the barrier. Despite getting over them, her hesitation brought consequences: in the air, the doll hugged her.
The two rolled on the floor. The doll was the first to get up and just walked away.
Nagisa, still fallen, looked at the other dolls that were in the distance. They were smiling.
"Rawr! You shouldn't help her." Nagisa straightened her purple dress with pink polka dots as she rose. "That's not how you play tag. I'll show you how it's done." So she took a giant leap towards the dolls.
The smile on dolls disappeared and soon they ran, spreading across the hall.
Nagisa knew that in order to catch one of the dolls, she would need more than speed. She focused and looked around for the most appropriate target. Near one of the walls, there were three dolls together.
The three dolls gestured in despair when Nagisa went toward them. Each doll ran to one side, but the middle one ended in doubt.
Nagisa was already close. "You're cowwrrnered!"
The doll then turned and ran toward the wall.
"Where are you..." Nagisa did not finish the sentence, seeing the doll had opened a camouflaged door. "Hey!"
Not wanting to miss the opportunity to catch the doll, Nagisa entered soon after.
But what Nagisa saw made her soon forget it.
Very different from the hallway leading to the room or which gave access to the kitchen, the place was surreal. Gigantic static gears floated in disjointed form in a dimly lit with a violet fluorescence environment. She herself was on one of those gears.
Nagisa soon heard the sound of the door closing tightly. She turned and the entry was no longer there. "Oh no!"
Stuck in this bizarre environment, Nagisa looked for another passage. It was then when she found the doll she was pursuing on another gear.
The doll was chattering teeth towards Nagisa and began jumping gear to gear. If the white-haired girl wanted to find a way to get out, this was her best chance.
Nagisa did try to follow the doll, but the other was more familiar with the environment. Consequently, Nagisa lost the sight of it in that sea of gears.
"This isn't good. If Homura-chan finds me here..." Nagisa wondered aloud, afraid. Homura was home, it was not night yet where she would hunt demons. Fortunately, her prayers seemed to have been heard because her colorful eyes spotted a door on one of the gears.
Without delay, Nagisa reached the door. It was a common one, of varnished dark wood, except the fact that it was alone, with no walls or other evidence that it would lead somewhere.
Only that Nagisa was fully aware that she was in a witch barrier. Logic and reason does not govern these worlds. But she did not know what that door would reveal when opened. It could be the hall or anywhere else. Seeing no other option but to take the risk, she put her hand on the knob shaped like a black diamond.
Then, suddenly, the door opened so quickly that almost pulled Nagisa by the handle.
Who was on the other side of the door it was nothing more nor less than Homura, wearing violet pajamas with white buttons. She was barefoot, but her earring was still on her ear. Her eyes twinkled as she smiled. "Ah... Finally, you decided to spy."
"Awwwr no!" Nagisa began gesturing wildly. "I wawwr plawwrying tag with youuwwrr children and... and one of them owwrrpened the doouuwwrr and I went bawwrrck and... ended up hewwwrre in this place. I-I wanted towr gowrr back to the hawwrrll and..."
Homura rolled her eyes. "Come in, witch."
Nagisa continued. "I sweawwr! I swear..."
"Now!" Homura demanded.
Nagisa fell silent and bowed her head before obeying.
"Take your shoes off and leave it on the carpet." Homura instructed while she closed the door.
While doing what was asked, Nagisa examined the dark room. The wallpaper was of a light shade, with a theme of lined diamonds shapes. On one wall was a bed with a messy pillow and blanket. In another was a sofa and in its front was a square table with some thick books on and a pot with two feathers, one white and one black.
There was a desk too, which lay in a corner of the room. The light from the lamp that was there, the only in the environment, revealed that the desk was a work table. It contained a large articulated magnifying glass and tool kits and small gears, screws and other metal objects. Under a white blanket, had an object that looked like a disk.
"So?" Homura began. "Satisfied your curiosity?"
"Sorry..." Nagisa whispered.
"'Sorry?" Homura was incredulous. "I had forbidden you to come here?"
"Eh?!" Nagisa looked up.
Homura became more serious. "But I didn't say it was allowed."
Nagisa gritted her teeth, like a child who had broke a glass.
"Fufufu..." Noting the very sharp jaws Nagisa possessed, Homura pronounced. "I ask you, witch."
"What?"
"Why don't you try to kill me now?"
"Huh?!"
Homura opened her arms. "Come on! I'm not even a meter away. I know that... thing inside you is pretty quick."
Nagisa shook her head. "I don't want to kill you."
"You don't want to kill me... huh?" Homura lifted her chin and raised her eyebrows. "Or because you think you can't?"
Nagisa showed a determined look, with an air of irritation. "I already told you. I want to stay in this world! It may seem wrong what you did, but isn't, because it was for something good."
"Hah!" Homura crossed her arms. "You believe that there is a shred of goodness in my act? In me?"
"You did it for love! And love is a good thing!" Nagisa replied.
"Fufu...fufu...fufufwahahahahaha!"
Nagisa winced a little with that evil laugh and even more when Homura approached her tense face, showing her teeth and bulging eyes.
"Yeeees! I love Madoka! She's precious to me. Without her my wish will never be accomplished." Homura salivated at every word, breathing hard. "Each of you, magical girls, had their wishes fulfilled, no matter how silly or ambitious they were. Why didn't I? Why should I always bow my head and accept? While I live, at least this wish will be granted, no matter how or what cost."
The door opened violently, revealing the dolls waiting.
"If you believe what you said, then you're as naive as her." Homura walked away. "My children will guide you back. Don't forget your shoes..."
Nagisa put her shoes back on and walked to the exit. She stopped and, still with her back to Homura, said. "If you believe what you spoke, then you're naive about what you feel."
"Oh... Want to discuss about naivety? I guess I'll say this for you to ponder on." Homura closed her eyes and smiled. "I'm not invulnerable. If you change your mind, I'll be looking forward to your attempt."
Nagisa went out and the door closed.
Homura sighed. "Why did you bring her here? What was it that you intended?"
Silence answered her.
She rubbed her mouth to clear the saliva running down. "You won't say anything? You know what that means?" She looked at the desk. "That you risked a lot to fail again and prove nothing, your useless thing."
Jafs: This scene, even though a draft, is quite elaborated. It could not be different, since much of this fanfic explored the relationship between Homura and Nagisa. The problem in this scene is that I could not convince myself that Homura would not kill Nagisa immediately by invading her privative space. This scene brings another element that also was not included in the plot: the shield.
The idea of Homura's plan to create a temporal loop, to keep Madoka in a 'perfect happy' school life under her surveillance for as long as possible, was already well defined. Early versions of the plot stated that Homura would be able to reconstruct her shield. The problem is that Homura should not have the knowledge about how it works, since she would not risk to disassemble it (this idea was eventually harnessed to the new version). In addition, the shield has an intrinsic connection with her contract, so it was questionable whether the shield would not just send her back to the fateful day she leaves the hospital. So I took the liberty of giving more versatility to Homura's powers, with a background and limitations, and using the clock mechanism in the ceiling of the hall, one of the peculiar elements of Homura's home in the original series, as her tool for the job.
／人 ◕‿‿◕ 人＼
"Bye Nagisa-chan! Hidaka-kun!"
"Bye Ayako-chan. See you tomorrow!" Nagisa waved.
As did Aki. "Bye Kitomono-san."
Ayako walked away from her two colleagues at the school gate and went to her mother.
"Um... Momoe-san." Aki was hesitant to speak.
"Hi?"
"You... seem more cheerful today."
"Me?" Nagisa looked at herself. "I don't know. Really?"
"It's... It's that I saw you a few times with a gloom gaze, you seemed worried about something and today wasn't so." Aki smiled.
Nagisa blushed. "Did you saw me... like this."
Aki's eyes widened and blushed as well. "Oh no! I wasn't looking at you all this time... hahaha..." He scratched his forehead. "I mean I just noticed... it's because... because..."
"Hidaka-kun?" Nagisa looked back at Aki.
"It's just that I feel that I have debt." Aki looked at the palms of his hands. "And I feel I should return it."
"Debt?" Nagisa was curious.
"You know, from that day you called me roquefort." Aki paused. "Maybe it's crazy, but that moment seemed to be already in my mind before, seemed magical."
Nagisa frowned. "How could that be possible? Hehe..."
"I don't know." Aki nodded. "But, since that day, you and Kitomono-san were closer to me. Even though Kuroki could pick on you two."
"Ah! Ayako-chan doesn't like Kuroki. For her, if that irritates him, it's even better." Nagisa smiled broadly. "And I'm not afraid of him either."
"Yes... I don't care about them nor do I care they call me a sissy, because what matters is how you see yourself." Aki puffed and tapped his chest. "And as a man I am, I must honor all my debts!"
"Ehihi..." Nagisa put both hands over her mouth and nose to keep from laughing.
"Huh?"
Nagisa removed her hands. "You're too dramatic, Hidaka-kun."
Aki emptied his chest. "Yeah... maybe."
"I understand what you want, but there's no need." Nagisa gestured.
"Really?"
"No." Nagisa affirmed. "Seeing you like this, more joyful, is good enough for me."
Aki was speechless.
Seeing this, Nagisa exclaimed quickly. "And for Ayako-chan too!" Before looking away, twirling a lock of hair on her finger.
"Oh... yeah... yeah." Aki uttered these words almost in a whisper.
"And don't you have to take the metro?" Nagisa asked, still not looking.
"Ah! Yes, I almost forgot. Haha." Aki awkwardly waved to Nagisa. "Thank for reminding me Momoe-san. So... bye bye!"
Nagisa looked back at Aki and waved with a big smile. "Bye Hidaka-kun."
Aki replied with a smile, but not before his face getting red as his eyes. Then he left in a hurry, almost running.
Nagisa put both hands on the cheeks, they were warmer than usual. Ayako was right, was cute to see Aki embarrassed. Did he want to stay longer? Did he want to say something else?
His interest was evident, like the new tones that the sky earned with the sunset.
But can it go on like this? No, and this was also evident. How would happen? A confession? An opportune time? A chance? Anyway, what mattered most was how she would respond to this.
In her left cheek, Nagisa felt the hard surface of a ring.
Ayako thought everything was normal, but there was nothing normal. The smell of roquefort in the air left no doubt. Course she could not blame her friend, since she did not know about her nature, nor the fact of living with a girl who claimed to be the devil herself.
Nagisa joined hands. Fortunately, my relationship with Homura-chan has improved. I think that is why I am feeling better and Aki noticed it. He has a great sensibility.
"Nagisa!"
Nagisa saw Sayaka coming her way.
The blue haired girl put the hands on her hips and gave a wink. "So? Enjoying the school life?"
Nagisa grimaced. Sayaka? Why did she come to see me? If Homura-chan sees me with her... better be careful. "H-Hi? Do I know you?"
"Ummm... So don't you remember? Maybe this will help." Sayaka put her left hand on her chest and blue aura emanated covering her body completely. When the aura dissipated, she was already in her magical girl clothes with a cutlass in the right hand.
"W-WHAT?!" Nagisa was completely taken aback. Sayaka transforming in public without hesitation. She looked around, looking for any surprised witnesses yet the people continued with their routines normally.
Then black feathers began to fall from the sky within moments.
"She was quick this time." Sayaka turned, already waiting for who she would meet.
Homura approached calmly. "Miki-san, as far as I remember, I asked you to think about. Not to being stupid."
"Hahaha." Sayaka took one of the feathers. "I wouldn't say this is stupidity. Not after our little talk and watching you all day leaving school with Nagisa, like she was your trophy."
"Trophy? Huh..." Homura pulled her hair back and smiled. "And what will you do about it?"
Crushing the feather, Sayaka replied. "What do you think?"
"Guys..." Nagisa felt the tension.
"Fufufu. Why would I let you?"
"Come on, devil." Sayaka pointed the cutlass to Homura. "I'm so angry that I can't think about your proposal, I need to vent. Or are you so weak that you'll always need tricks to deal with me?"
Homura narrowed her eyes. "Want to fight, yes?" She looked at Nagisa. "I think I can give you what you ask for..."
A strong wind sent away all the feathers, as well as the three girls who were at the gate.
Jafs: The idea of Nagisa getting out of school with Homura from the rooftop came a bit late in the plot development. If Nagisa kept waiting at the school gate, Homura have to deal with various problems, like how to keep the little witch from meeting with Mami, besides the fact of the witnesses when she leaves flying with Nagisa (Leave by walking? Fufufufu...). The scene above illustrates what would likely happen in the chapter 'Castle of cards' if I did not have this idea.
／人 ◕‿‿◕ 人＼
First came the smell of burning rubber. After the pain and then a blinding light.
Nagisa raised her left hand to shield her eyes until they get used. Her head was spinning. The light seemed to come from a hole in the ceiling.
No. It was not a ceiling, as it was not a hole.
It was a window with broken glass from the door of a toppled-over vehicle.
Where?
Then another question came to her mind when she paid attention to her hand.
Where is my ring?
Breathing hard and with a throbbing pain in the legs, Nagisa tried to lift the body. "Hgnnah!" She put her hand on the right shoulder, where she was lying on.
I must have dislocated it, I cannot move my other arm.
Then she felt the floor getting wet under her legs. Nagisa turned her sore neck as best she could to see.
Her eyes widened. The left leg was twisted, her foot turned in an impossible position. The right leg she could not see clearly because the left was in front, but, from the pain, it should not be better. A pool of blood was forming slowly.
Nagisa held in her cries, seeing that appeared to have brought more pain. A feeling that before could be forgotten with magic, now seemed to have returned to stay, with interest included.
"He... Help..." It was meant to be a scream, but it came out more like a whisper. She was weak, feeling the temptation to close the eyes and sleep to see if the pain would go away...
...I'm afraid to sleep and not wake up...
Her memories of mother on the hospital bed soon made she give up on this idea. She had to fight, looking for a way out of that situation.
Seeking to pay attention to anything to keep awake, she observed the front of the vehicle. It was in a much worse state, the ceiling was lowered, the seats were ripped from their respective places. In the midst of that heaps of metal and blood, she could catch a glimpse of two people who did not move.
Then she heard the sound of something walking on the bodywork. A shadow came from the window. Nagisa saw that was a person standing, more specifically a girl with pink hair and eyes. She was dressed in an outfit that looked more like of a ballerina, with a frilly skirt. The dress colors were mostly pink and white, but the front had a yellow tone. She was wearing a red choker, the same color of her high-heeled shoes. Attached to the choker was a pendant with a drop-shaped pink gem. Her hands wore white gloves and one of them was holding a bow that resembled the branch of a plant. To complete, she was using two showy pink bows on her hair, one for each pigtail.
Nagisa reached out with the arm she could move. "Ma... doka."
"Nagisa-chan?!" Madoka expressed with surprise and apprehension. "Oh no!"
Nagisa, unable to maintain her strength, let her arm fall.
"Hold on!" Madoka clenched her fist with a determined look. "I'll save you from this misfortune."
A dark viscous liquid began to drip out of the window. At first it was a few drops, but soon it became a waterfall. Seeing that falling on her and quickly flooding the vehicle, Nagisa raised her head as much as she could. "Ah...ah..."
"That shouldn't have happened." Madoka slowly nodded. "It didn't even need to exist."
That oil, that tar, continued to rise. Even with her head raised, Nagisa was forced to hold her breath.
Madoka crouched to look closer and smiled joyfully. "Don't worry, Nagisa-chan. You did a lot for me and suffered too much already, you can rest now."
That was the last thing Nagisa testified before her vision and consciousness disappear.
Jafs: Can you guess where this scene would happen?
Nagisa suffered a lot in this fanfic, I must admit. Is it because subconsciously I felt that she did not suffer enough in Rebellion? Speculations aside, that is not why I cut this scene * insert your diabolical laugh here *.
I had an idea about sharing grief having a more literal sense. The reason that I did not put this scene in this fanfic is that would give many spoilers about what was going on and I wanted a riddle.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and this fanfic. As you saw in the epilogue, the "Disconnection" is over, but the story is not. The sequel, "Visionary", is already on this site! You can find it in my profile.