AN: In the second of the three stories in this chapter, the sexytalk goes up a little more. It isn't quite M material, but seemed worthy of mention just in case. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Disclaimer: Nothing owned, all things borrowed.

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The following night, they stayed in an enormous old mansion on the Chesapeake Bay. As soon as they went upstairs to the master suite, Liz ripped off Red's clothes and made up for a particular comment that she'd made the night before.

He was still panting when she climbed out of his lap and donned a silk robe that left very little to the imagination. "Would you like to go outside on the balcony and split a bottle of red?"

"You wish you could bottle me."

"Who wouldn't?" She smirked. "I feel like a cabernet. Napa Valley or Virginia?"

"Let's go local."

"Okay. I'll be right back."

A few minutes later, Liz returned from the kitchen with the bottle, corkscrew, two glasses, and a surprise hidden in her cleavage. With a jerk of her chin, she beckoned Red to follow her outside.

They each took a seat on the cedar porch swing, and Liz wedged the bottle between her thighs to open it, but Red reached for it, wordlessly offering to take care of it for her. "Nope!" She swatted his hand away and turned towards him, leaning forward so he could see into her robe. Red laughed, grinning from ear to ear. "Go ahead."

He lowered his head and used his teeth to pluck the cigar from her cleavage and quipped, "Dare I ask where you've hidden the matches?"

Liz blushed. "They're in my pocket, you letch."

After Red's cigar was lit and both were contentedly sipping their wine, she asked, "Mind telling me another bedtime story tonight?"

"Now?"

"Yes, please. Your stories from last night got me thinking... no one moves up through the ranks as quickly as you did after getting in trouble all the time in school. And if I know you, for every time you got caught, you must have gotten away with at least ten other misdeeds."

"I'm reticent to put a number on it, but yes, that's a fair assessment."

"So, tell me about the things you did that you were sure you'd be caught doing, but weren't."

"May I include stories that involve girls? Most of the better ones do."

"No holds barred. Anything goes."

-...-...-...-...-...-

In eighth grade, we had a field trip to the Baltimore Aquarium. If you ever had a chance to go while you lived there, then I hope that you took it. Without question, it's the very best thing that the city has to offer. Lovely place.

Since it was a two-hour drive from our school to the aquarium, we had to be driven to school early by our parents instead of taking the bus. My girlfriend at the time, Jocelyn Bishop, had just scored some excellent, fluffy buds with all these little red hairs in them. It had a ridiculous name that I'm guessing her dealer thought of so he could jack up the price. Pineapple Snapdragon, I think.

So anyway, she decided that we should get our parents to drop us off even earlier than necessary, so we could smoke up in the woods before heading inside for the roll call. And oh god... we were so baked. I think we almost got lost trying to find our classroom. My eyes were tiny slits. Couldn't have opened them normally to save my life.

But somehow, no one seemed to notice, and I think Josie and I just giggled the entire way to the aquarium. When we got there, we expected to be corralled from exhibit to exhibit, but they just handed out worksheets and turned us loose with a time and location to meet up again, for a dolphin show.

We had a blast, but within about an hour, we were just dragging our bodies around. I remember, we were checking out these enormous stingrays when Josie turned to me and said that she had another joint in her pocket. So like any foolishly cocky teenagers, we assumed that we could just go into the ladies room and smoke it, and no one would ever know.

She went in first to make sure it was empty, and then came out and grabbed me. Suddenly we're crammed together in this tiny stall, blazing down a fat joint, and a woman comes in to change her baby's diaper. We didn't know what to do. The bathroom was full of smoke, but we'd only smoked half of the joint. I wanted to flush it and run. She wanted to finish it. Three feet away, the poor stranger is cooing at her baby.

I don't think I've ever smoked a joint so quickly in my life. They must not have had a smoke alarm in there, and I sincerely hope that they've since rectified that. After we flushed the roach, we ran out and made our way as quickly as we could to the other side of the aquarium, just trying to put some distance between ourselves and the scene of the crime. As we did, we passed the woman with the baby, and overheard her telling a security guard that someone was smoking in the bathroom.

Somewhere along the way, we lost our worksheets, and we spent the rest of the trip choosing our favorite fish in each exhibit and giving them ridiculous names. We made it to the dolphin show on time, and our teacher didn't even mind giving us new worksheets, which we hastily completed during the show.

And that was it. We should have been expelled for doing something so stupid. I have absolutely no idea how we managed to get away with it.

-...-...-...-...-...-

"You're completely mental. You know that, right?"

"Indubitably."

"I did go to the aquarium. Twice actually. And you're right. I hated that city, but the aquarium was tops. Do you remember any of the fishy names?"

Red tilted his head and laughed. "Miraculously, yes, a few. The littlest sea horse was Astrid. The stingray with spots was Mary Jane. There was Julio, a sea turtle, and Amelie, a nurse shark. That's all I recall, but there must have been at least a dozen."

"Let me show you how you look when you smoke." Liz plucked the cigar from his fingers and did a laughably exaggerated impression, leaning back in the seat and pursing her lips as she took a deep drag, careful not to inhale or cough. With her eyes closed, she tipped her head all the way back to blow a plume of smoke into the air. As she lifted her head, she languidly moistened her lips and swung her gaze towards Red, smirking at him with hooded eyes.

"Just like that, huh?"

"Exactly like that."

"Hm. No wonder you like it so much. I'm obviously hot. Feel free to hang on to that, if you wish. I also like to watch."

"So you've said."

"Another, then?"

"Yes! Another!"

-...-...-...-...-...-

Let's see... In tenth grade, the members of the National Honors Society got to take a trip to Harvard's natural history museum. It was kind of a big deal. We took a charter bus, and they played a couple movies to entertain us on the road. I don't recall which ones, because as you may have already guessed, I wasn't watching.

I had the good fortune of having a girlfriend who was at least as smart as myself, so she was also a member. Her name was Gillian Bloom. She was one of those stereotypically beautiful little-miss-perfects. Daddy's girl. Teacher's pet. A schedule so jam-packed with extracurricular activities that her only free time was spent sleeping. Except... that wasn't quite true, because like so many perfect girls, she'd also made an art out of determining when she could get away with skipping an obligation in favor of doing something that truly made her happy.

For the three months that we dated, I was her 'something'.

On the drive to Boston, chaperones were placed at both the front and the center of the bus. Gillie and I got stuck directly behind the one in the center. We were all snuggled up beneath a blanket, holding hands, and the moment that she turned her head to give me a kiss, the chaperone turned around and saw her do it. We received a firm lecture that was absurdly harsh for such a minor offense.

That really should have been the end of that, but nope. Minutes later, Gillie turned to me and raised her eyebrows mischievously. Without a word, she hiked up her skirt and put my hand where she wanted it. She wasn't even wearing panties. God, I thought I was going to die.

Then she unzipped my fly and... well, you can guess what happened next.

While all of that was going on beneath the blanket, we were biting our lips and struggling to keep quiet. Mere seconds away from the point of no return, the chaperone turned around again. We just froze, terrified. My head instantly filled with thoughts of her dad chasing me with a baseball bat.

But the chaperone just said, "We should be there in about an hour. Are you guys excited?"

Gillie replied, "Oh yes, very much so."

Hey, it wasn't a lie.

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"Oh my god, that's hilarious! Did you at least get to finish?"

"Less than a minute after the chaperone turned around again."

Liz laughed. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Because I was fifteen?"

"Yeah, probably. Sounds messy though. I hope you washed the blanket."

"No idea. It was Gillie's."

"It's a little funny to hear that you were in the NHS. I know that you were smart enough, and I know that your grades were good enough, but the NHS strikes me as something that you'd consider an exercise of tedium. It's hard for me to imagine you toeing such a line."

"I've toed all kinds of lines, love."

She lifted a hand to idly stroke the back of Red's head, relishing in the way he leaned into her touch. "One more, pretty please?"

"Alright, but this is the last one for tonight."

-...-...-...-...-...-...-

This one happened somewhere near the end of senior year, when everyone was miles beyond giving a damn about school. It was one of those beautiful days that makes any place with a roof feel like a jail cell. A few of my friends decided to skip school to get drunk and go swimming in the river, but much to my chagrin, I had a huge government test in seventh period.

By the time second period rolled around, I had decided to join my friends and try to make it back in time to take the test. When the next bell rang, I took off with my girlfriend, Stephanie Montgomery.

Nobody brought a swimsuit, so we all just skinnydipped. Now, if you're imagining some kind of wild drunken river orgy, then stop now, because that didn't happen. We did, however, have a really cool rope swing. To my drunken eye, the girls were absolutely stunning while flying through the air. Graceful, really, like nude Cirque du Soliel acrobats. But the guys? Blech. Dicks and beer bellies flopping around all willy-nilly, like watching a thrown water balloon in slow-mo.

Time got away from me. With only thirty minutes left before my test, I was stumbling around on the riverbank in search of my clothes. With a little help from my sympathetic friends, I located everything except for my shirt. Oddly enough, I had completely undressed in one spot, and no one could figure out why or how my shirt had vanished without a trace. My best guess is that it was a prank, but as for who, why, or how, I'll never know.

At that point, I started to panic, so I asked everyone to check in their cars to see if they had a shirt that I could borrow. Only one person did.

My girlfriend, Stephanie.

It was a women's size small, and it looked absolutely ridiculous on me. The short length hit right at my navel, and the armholes interfered with my blood circulation. On me, it was a belly shirt. My options were to either suffer though wearing it at school, or skip the rest of the day and fail the test.

I was too drunk to drive, so Stephanie brought me back to school, and just in time, too. I decided to wear that tiny scrap of fabric, but it didn't turn out as humiliating as I had expected. Everyone thought I was just goofing off, fishing for a little shock and awe, and yes, I succeeded in that endeavor.

But I also aced the test. How? I'll never know.

-...-...-...-...-...-

"Thanks. That naked-dudes-on-a-rope-swing thing is now permanently burned into my mind."

"Sorry about that," Red replied with a laugh, but he didn't sound sorry at all.

"I think I'm ready to go back inside now, if it's alright."

"I'd never turn down an invitation to go to bed with you."