A/N: Thank you again to everyone who's taken the time to read, and especially to those of you who've reviewed. Again, I'm sorry for not being able to get back to everyone as my week has been hectic and most of my free time has been spent writing this chapter, but your comments are very much appreciated. Anyway, this is a bit of a transitional chapter? I'm not thrilled with it, but I needed to be done with it, so here it is, a bit sooner than planned...
Her face is swollen when she walks into the shop the following night. Visions of new, perturbing dreams rush through her mind, and Merlin looks up as the door jangles behind her. He's curled up in the faded blue armchair he favours at the front of the room, the books he'd opened when she'd happily gone upstairs no more than two hours earlier still spread on the table before him.
"I'm beginning to think my eyes are going to pop out of my head," he begins with a faint smile. He seems quietly happy, but his expression drops at the sight of her.
She wants to explain, but another rush of tears rush to the surface, and she struggles to speak, "I had another dream."
He frowns and jumps up with such speed that he's standing beside her before she even finishes her sentence.
Their walk the previous night had helped to calm her and she'd fallen asleep almost as soon as she'd climbed into bed, but new images had crept up on her, torturing her sleep. They'd returned tonight, after she'd happily turned in a key essay proposal and resigned herself to rest. Frozen landscapes had taken over her dreams and left her to die in their midst, encased in ice and abandoned by the living world.
She'd woken with scorching tears streaming down her face and struggled to breathe as she'd dressed and left the flat behind.
She knows she looks worse than ever now, eyes swollen and silently beseeching Merlin to accept her appearance.
The fear she knows is in her own eyes is reflected in his. He doesn't say anything, but implicit understanding works its way into his gaze, and she opens her mouth to try and elaborate.
Nothing more than a breathy sound comes out, and before she can try again, Merlin wraps his arms around her. She tenses for a moment, but his embrace sends much-needed reassurance rushing through her, and she relaxes into him.
He exudes warmth and silent support and everything she doesn't know she needs, and the terror that had seeped through her slowly ebbs away with every second she spends in his arms. Her breathing slows, and she feels the faint press of Merlin's lips against her hair as she tightens her own grip around his middle.
Exhaustion encourages her to close her eyes and she almost does, but Merlin pulls away with a sad smile and reaches for her hand. "Do you trust me?"
She nods and places her hand in his, intertwining their fingers. She trusts him more than she's ever trusted anyone, and the realisation that she does makes her feel more secure than afraid. "I do."
Merlin gives her a small smile and steps away, tugging on her hand. "Come on, then."
He closes up shop and leads her through a corridor that takes them to the lobby of their building. The passage is new to her, but she's too tired to berate herself for never noticing the shortcut.
He pauses by the lift doors and looks at her with shy determination. "If you could sleep comfortably right now, where would you want it to be?"
"In my own bed, but that hasn't exactly been working out very well." She quirks an eyebrow, not sure what he's suggesting.
Merlin nods and presses the button for the top floor.
Her heart sinks at the realization that he's just taking her back to her flat, and she swallows thickly. "Merlin… I don't want to be alone."
He squeezes her hand and smiles. "You won't be. I used to have nightmares, too. My dad died when I was still a kid, and I used to be afraid to go to sleep. I was convinced that I wouldn't wake up, or that my mam would be gone when I did, so she used to sit with me."
Her heart clenches at the thought of Merlin going through such pain at a young age, and she whispers, "I'm sorry."
He gives her a small smile. "It's okay. It's been a long time, but we had a routine. Whenever I'd have nightmares in the years after that, we'd get our things and camp out in the living room and watch old films until we both fell asleep."
"So you're going to stay with me?"
He suddenly looks shy, and hesitation works its way into his voice. "If you'd like me to."
She nods and, beaming, leans up to brush her lips against his cheek. "I would love for you to."
They debate dragging blankets into the sitting room, but traces of Uther surround them, and they settle on Morgana's bedroom instead.
Tension that has never existed between them fills the air at their change of space, but her bed calls out to her, and Morgana wants nothing more than to climb under the covers and finally feel safe again.
The pyjamas she'd taken off lay abandoned on the unmade bed, emerald green silk against downy white, and she hastily grabs them before offering to fetch him a pair of Arthur's.
"I'm fine. I'll just…" he trails off, gesturing at his clothes.
"You are not getting in my bed with those jeans."
"What's wrong with my jeans?"
"You've been wearing the same pair for three days." She pauses, chiding herself for giving away that she'd noticed such a trivial thing, and quickly adds, "and I just changed my sheets!"
Merlin smirks and looks down, pink tainting his cheeks, and she knows he's noticed her slip.
"Fine. I'd be happy to have a pair of Arthur's pyjama bottoms then."
She nods and leads him to Arthur's room down the corridor. She pulls open a dresser drawer and prays not to come across anything she doesn't want to see, but her worry is in vain. She finds it empty, a reminder that Arthur had cleared out most of his things after his last fight with Uther. Several other drawers are the same, but she finally comes across a spare and likely unwanted pair of pyjamas at the bottom of the dresser.
They're dark blue and covered in little white dragons, and she smirks as she hands them over to Merlin. "I'm sure you'll look adorable in these." She winks and walks off before he can say anything.
She disappears into her ensuite to change back into her own pyjamas and re-tie her hair. Her reflection catches her attention, and she hates how splotchy and defeated she looks, but her body screams at her to leave things be and go to sleep.
Merlin is hesitantly hovering between her bed and the emerald green settee that sits in the corner when she steps back into her room. His back is turned to her, and he's wearing a fitted white t-shirt over the dragon pyjamas. Her pulse quickens at the sight, and she wonders momentarily what it would be like to find him waiting for her every night.
She pauses, watching him until he moves to settle onto the settee.
"What are you doing?"
He gestures at the seat as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and she can't help but laugh and blearily shake her head.
"No, no."
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"You won't. I promise."
"The whole point is for you to be able to sleep."
"Well, I won't be able to if you're over there."
He makes to object, and she shakes her head. "Merlin, I'm not just being polite. You're doing me a favour by being here, and I don't want you to be uncomfortable and I promise you that settee is not a pleasant place to sleep – I've fallen asleep reading there many times, but I also want you to…" she trails off, not wanting to scare him away, not stopping to think that his presence is proof that nothing she can say will. "I don't want to be alone. Please."
He nods and moves towards her. "I accept, but I'm not here because I'm doing you a favour."
"You're not?"
She expects him to make a joke of some kind, but there's nothing but sincerity in his gaze. "No. I'm here because I understand and I sympathize, and there's nowhere else I would rather be right now."
"Thank you."
"Anytime
He climbs in beside her, and she reaches over to grab the remote for the small television set across from the bed. "So, your technique demands that we watch a film?"
He smiles, and she settles into his side. "We can, but we can also talk."
"Both sound nice." She hands him the remote. "You choose."
He settles on a screening of Casablanca, and they exchange half-whispered comments until the world slowly fades to black.
She wakes gasping for breath, and the first thing she notices after ensuring that she is in fact alive and that her limbs haven't frozen to ice is that she's lying in her own bed, and Merlin is asleep beside her.
She's warm, she's safe, and yet the images keep playing through her mind. Daggers fly through the air, and she tries to regulate her breathing before she wakes him.
She breathes in and out and begins to count, but she doesn't even get to ten before Merlin's eyes open.
"Hey..." he mutters, shifting onto his elbow. "Nightmare?"
She nods, and he leans forward to place a kiss on her forehead. His lips linger, and tears fill her eyes, scorching her phantomly frozen skin.
She sniffles, and his eyes open wider as he slides back down and lies to face her. She instinctively turns onto her side and shifts closer.
"I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Morgana."
"I'm going mad."
"No."
"The dreams just keep getting worse."
"Do you…" Merlin begins to ask but then reaches out and places his hand over hers in silent encouragement.
He's never pushed her to open up about her dreams before, and she's never wanted to. Yet, here, now, with so few barriers left between them, the words begin to spill out. She tells him about the ice and the daggers and being left for dead by everyone she loves. She tells him about the dungeons and the pyres and watching innocent people burn at the stake. She tells him about Uther condemning everyone and everything and laughing at their pain, and Merlin just listens.
He offers no commentary, no judgement, but his expression grows sadder and he seems to move almost imperceptibly closer with every dream.
Morgana speaks until she begins to drift off, unburdened, and the last thing she feels is the weight of Merlin's hand settling on her waist and the soft sensation of him whispering words she'll deny having heard.
The next time Morgana wakes, it's to fingers ghosting across her arm and the faint smell of coffee wafting through the air. Contentment washes through her, and she marvels at how rested she feels.
"Morgana."
Smiling, she hums and cracks an eye open. Light that's much too bright to be early morning seeps in through the window, and she stills as schedules and obligations run through her mind.
"What time is it?"
"It's five after eleven."
She groans and sits up, leaning against the cushioned headboard. "I have a class after lunch."
Merlin's sitting cross-legged on the bed beside her, a cup of coffee cradled in his hands and hair adorably mussed. He's still wearing the dragon pyjamas, but he's pulled his jumper back on and is calmly listening to her.
"I know. I wouldn't have woken you otherwise."
He looks regretful, and she half wishes he'd let her sleep the day away. Still, she refuses to start missing classes in the midst of the turmoil and is grateful that he'd woken her. "Thank you."
He smiles and nods towards the cup on her bedside table. "I thought you would need coffee."
"Always." She grins and reaches for the very welcome drink. "You figured out how to use our espresso machine, then?"
"I am a barista."
"And a rather good one at that."
"So now you admit it?"
Morgana shrugs, taking a sip of her coffee. "I wouldn't let a mediocre one sleep in my bed, now would I?"
"I should hope not." Merlin struggles to keep a straight face, and he begins to crack a smile. "Honestly though, I don't see why you're always downstairs when you have such a nice machine up here."
"Company can be as important as quality. More so, even." She looks down and takes another sip, smirking as she adds, "And neither Arthur nor I ever figured out how to use it."
"Somehow I'm not surprised about Arthur, but you?"
"Well I couldn't be bothered to learn with such a good coffee shop downstairs."
Merlin shakes his head, eyes twinkling all the while. "I could teach you."
"It hardly seems fair to ask you to spend your free time doing what you do for work."
"I wouldn't mind." He pauses and all teasing disappears from his demeanour. "How did you sleep?"
"Better than I have in ages. Thank you." Her voice dips as she speak. "Truly, Merlin. I haven't felt this rested in a long time."
"I'm glad."
They stay quiet for a moment, exchanging smiles and drinking their coffee, but then she remembers the way they'd left the shop the night before.
"Is Gaius terribly mad?"
Merlin frowns. "Why would –? Ah. No. Will messaged me to say he opened back up at six, and Gaius was nowhere to be found. I don't even think he knows."
"I hope he doesn't find out, then. I wouldn't want you getting in trouble because of me."
"I doubt Gaius would even raise an eyebrow."
Morgana smiles and reaches over to put her cup down. "I need to get ready."
Merlin nods. "So do I. I have a workshop, and I promised Will I'd pop in to help with the inventory first."
She sighs and stands. "I don't want to go."
"Neither do I."
"Can we do this again? Preferably without the nightmares?"
"I'd like that. I'm not working tomorrow night… or on Saturday if that's too soon."
"No, no, tomorrow would be excellent." She grins, happy that he's suggesting a date so soon. "We can actually watch films, and I'll cook."
Merlin gives her a lopsided smile as he stands. "You can cook?"
"Well. I've been told I'm quite skilled when it comes to pasta… and ordering in."
Merlin laughs. "Pasta sounds excellent, and I can teach you to use your espresso machine… on one condition."
"Which is?"
"That you don't stop visiting the shop."