Chapter 5:

Disclaimer: I don't own the Fosters.

AN: This chapter is written from a review I received asking to know more about Jude's relationship with Jesus, and why he took it so hard in this story when he died, when all they really did on screen time was bicker. I also decided to give an update on how far Connor's dad has come since the events of the Season 2 finale, and also when he accepted Jude and Connor's relationship, and why he opposed it in the first place.

Jude's POV:

It's been a whole year since Jesus died in that accident...

...And every day, I still miss him.

A lot of people in the family were shocked at how badly I reacted to his death, because all we ever did in front of the family was bicker. He may only have been my big brother for a few months, but he was still my big brother; and while we did bicker and argue, he was always there when I needed him. When he found out I was being picked on at Anchor Beach, he offered to scare them into leaving me alone. Since we shared a room, he was the one who would comfort me if I had a nightmare, or would talk to me when I couldn't sleep. He offered to beat Connor's dad to a pulp when he first tried to break up mine and Connor's friendship. He would play video games with me, and he even let me beat him a couple of times. He even gave me dating advice once, even though it was useless. I wanted to be like him. Cool, confident. He was my older brother, and I loved him.

Today, for the first time since the funeral, I was going to visit his grave. Connor was going with me, to make sure I would be alright.

Connor's dad had offered to drive us.

I have been dating Connor for a year, and Mr. Stevens no longer hates me. Even though he still gets kind of awkward around me when I show affection towards Connor (like kissing or the like) in front of him, he's gotten a lot better, and I kind of like him now. After a couple of days, he resigned himself to the fact that I wasn't going anywhere, anytime soon. After that he started trying to make an effort to get to know me, and no matter how reluctantly, he has changed. He doesn't watch us like a hawk like he used to. He's comfortable leaving Connor and I in the house alone together; I guess he's not afraid we're gonna jump on each other as soon as he walked out of the door. He's gotten to the point where he can admit that Connor's my boyfriend in public, even if he does mumble it most of the time. Surprisingly, he's even capable of making friendly conversation with me. (I can already feel your jaws on the floor).

His finest moment, in Connor and my opinions, was when Connor's mom found out he was gay, when she came to visit him a month and a half after he got out of the hospital. That was when he officially gave our relationship his blessing. That was when he proved he would do ANYTHING to protect Connor...

Flashback:

The impossible had happened...

I had finally met somebody I liked less than Mr. Adam Stevens.

I sat next to Connor on his couch, his hand in mine, my arm around him in comfort, and both of our eyes wide, locked on the scene in front of us.

Connor's mother had finally made an appearance to check on her son...

A fucking month late!

She didn't even knock when she arrived at the house had walked into the living room while Connor and I had been cuddling on his living room couch. He looked up from the movie, locked eyes with her, and jolted away from me. I gave her a once over.

She was good looking, but also not. She had this real sense of unpleasantness about her that sent shivers up my spine.

Her eyes narrowed and she stomped towards him, grabbed him by his arm and slapped him hard across the face. He fell to the floor with a cry.

"Filthy FAGGOT!" She screamed, and threw a kick.

I leapt to his defense, but she swung at me too, knocking me down.

A flash of silver flashed above us, and a dull thump brings the whole thing to a halt.

An old knife is stuck in the wall.

I run, wrench it out of the wall and whip around.

Mr. Stevens is standing in the doorway...

Brandishing a samurai sword.

I smile an evil smile as he advances and Ms. Stevens backs away from Connor. She whips around to escape through the door, but I'm standing there with the knife, and I brandish it in front of me shakily.

"Connor, Jude, go sit down on the couch. I need to have some words with my beloved ex-wife." He spits venomously, and places the tip of the sword against her neck, "Listen here, you fucking bitch. If you ever come near my son again, let alone touch him I will not hesitate. Yes, they are gay. Yes, they are together. I wasn't comfortable with it at first either, but it's not gonna change, and there's nobody out there that would make him as happy as Jude does. Get out. Never come back, because next time, I will use this. I know you know how sharp this sword is. This was my dad's pride and joy, and he always made sure it was sharp. All it would take is one twitch, and I could take your spiteful little head off. NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

She flew out of the house at a speed previously unknown to human kind. He turned to us. He dropped the sword, and sat down next to us.

He wrapped us both in a hug.

"I'm so sorry boys. Connor, why don't you head up to bed. Jude, I'll call Stef and Lena, tell what happened and that you're gonna stay over here."

Connor leapt from the couch and flew up the stairs as fast as his injured foot would allow him. I slowly rose to follow him, but Connors dad put a hand on my shoulder.

"Sit. I've put this off long enough." He said.

"You deserve the truth about why I couldn't stand the thought of you with my son."

I sat back down.

He reached and picked the sword up from where he sat it on the coffee table.

"This sword was my fathers. That knife belonged to my granddad's brother."

I looked up at him. He was staring at his eyes in the reflective blade. I held up the knife and looked at it. I noticed the swastika on the handle, and dropped it as if my hand had been burned.

"Dad got them from his father. Granddad got it off a dead Japanese officer during World War II. Great Uncle got the knife off a dead Nazi soldier. Before they died, they told my dad and me to only use them to protect those we hold dear. We both trained to use them. I was always better with throwing the knife. I only ever beat dad sparring once."

He stopped for a moment to draw a deep breath.

"Dad used it only once, when I was a kid. Somebody broke into the house in the middle of the night. Snuck into my room. He tried to... do things to me while I slept. I started screaming. Dad came in with these."

He held up the sword for me to see, and nodded towards the knife. I stared at between them in horror.

"Swung it once. Took the guy's arm off, then he called the cops. After that, I thought all gay people were like that. Over the years, that attitude festered, to the point when I saw you patting Connor on the back at the batting cages that one time. All I could see was that man, and I flipped."

"I would never force him to do ANYTHING!" I said adamantly, "I love him too much to hurt him. I want to PROTECT him!"

"And I know that now." He said, cutting me off. "I saw you try to stop her, and I saw her knock you flat on your ass. I saw the hate in your eyes. That's why I threw the knife. I knew you would go for it."

He drew breath again.

"I know you won't hurt him... which is why I'm giving your relationship my blessing."

I looked at him with wide eyes.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, kid. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But, yeah."

I looked at him, allowing a small smile to slip onto my face. I reached down and picked the knife up from its place on the floor and reached it to him.

He stared at the knife, sitting in my unclenched palm... and he shook his head.

He reached out and gently folded my fingers around it, before reaching into his pocket and handing me a small sheath.

"Keep it." He said. I stared at him in astonishment as he continued, "Think of it as a peace offering. Just promise me that you'll protect my son. You keep him safe... even if you have to use it to do it."

I nodded.

"I promise."

"Good. Now go to bed. I'll call Stef and Lena."

I ran up the stairs to Connor's room. I walked in and sat down on the bed next to him, and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"What did dad want?" He said through his sniffling.

"He gave me his blessing... and a Nazi dagger." I said seriously. He laughed through his tears, and looked at me. When he saw the serious look on my face, his eyes widened.

"Wait... are you being serious?" He asked, shakily. I held up the sheathed knife that I still had clenched in my fist. "Holy shit."

"Yeah." I said, before wrapping him in a hug, "Everything's gonna be okay now."

End of Flashback.

I was shaken from my memory by Connor shaking my shoulder.

"Come on Jude, we're here."

I looked out the window at the cemetery. I steeled my nerves and got out of the SUV. I turned back to Mr. Stevens.

"We won't be long."

"Take as long as you need, kid." He said. I nodded, and took Connor's hand and led him towards Jesus's grave.

As we approached the tombstone, my resolve began to weaken.

As we stood in front of it, I could no longer hold in the tears as I sunk to my knees. I grabbed a handful of the grass in both hands. In the back of my mind I noticed Connor sink to the ground next to me, wrapping his arm around me in silent comfort.

"Hey bro." I said to the tombstone, before looking up at the sky, hoping that he was up there and could hear me, "Sorry it took so long to come see you. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It hurt so much. Everybody's okay now. Everybody still misses you, but that'll never change."

I sniffled, and Connor rested his head on my shoulder.

"Connor and I are dating now. Made it official the day before you died. I wish I could have had the chance to tell you. He really helped me through it. He's the only reason I'm not down there with you."

Connor squeezed me when I said that.

"I've changed since that day. I became a little more like you. I'm more confident, now. I even grew my hair out like you used to." I said with a soft smile.

"I love you Jesus. We may have only been brothers for a couple of months, but that was enough. You were there for me when I needed you, and for that I will be always be grateful. I looked up to you. I still do. I always will."

I stood up, and so did Connor.

"I gotta go. I promise it won't be a year before I come back this time." I said. I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes.

"Goodbye Jesus."

We turned and started walking back towards the SUV, Connor with his arm still draped across my shoulders. I smiled at him and kissed him on the temple, remembering what I told Connor that night at his house.

We really were gonna be alright.