A/N:Thank you as always for your responses to the last chapter! I'm so sorry for the pain that I've caused. There's definitely a fair share of angst up ahead, as a warning, but I promise it will all be worth it. Because yes this is marked as the last chapter even though I said we were basically at the midway point last time... but this is not the end! I have a sequel elaborately planned out, and it should be even longer than this piece, so look out for that very, very soon!
Tendrils of guilt work their way through Morgana's chest as she drives. They wrap themselves around her heart and her lungs and squeeze in repeated attempts to crush her will to go forward.
Her last moments at the cottage play through her mind – the moonlight streaming in from her third floor window, the creak of the stairs as she'd made her escape, the peaceful rise and fall of Merlin's chest as he'd slept, blissfully unaware of her actions. Guilt claws away at her, in tune with the echoes, and she fights the temptation to turn around and crawl back into bed before she's missed.
She longs to curl up beside Merlin, to feel his arms wrap around her and wrap her own around him. She already misses the warmth and safety and sheer joy they'd woken to not even a full day earlier, and her bare finger sends pangs of regret shooting through her.
She wants to turn around and pretend that nothing has happened, but she knows she's played with fire, that Morgause won't stop until she gets what she wants, and that it's down to her to set everything right.
Tears well up in her eyes but turn to anger before they spill over. The emotions that wrack through her are too much. Too painful, too tempting, too dangerous for her to visit, driving on a narrow road in the middle of the night. She squeezes her eyes shut and decides that there must be no more.
No more tears. No more regret.
No more weakness.
Not even if it destroys her.
The only option left for her now is to go forward, to take care of Morgause once and for all and allow her family to be happy without her.
It's two a.m. by the time Morgana makes it into the city. It being the middle of the week, the streets are practically devoid of traffic, and she speeds straight towards Morgause's office. She pulls into a garage across the street from the glass high-rise and sighs when she finds nothing but a message from Morgause to confirm their meeting on her phone. No messages means that no one is yet aware of her departure, and she makes her way out into the night in relief.
Morgause is waiting for her by the lift when she arrives and wastes no time in getting to the point. She's flawlessly dressed in a burgundy pencil skirt and six inch heels. Not even a hair is out of place, and she greets her with such a smug smile that Morgana questions her decision to move forward with her plan for the hundredth time since stepping out the cottage door.
"I knew you wouldn't be able to resist."
Morgana scoffs and pushes the strap of her bag further up onto her shoulder before crossing her arms in front of her. "Believe me when I say I'm not here because I want to be."
"We'll see about that when you hear the rest of what I have to say."
"I highly doubt that."
Morgause smiles and steps into the lift, beckoning for Morgana to follow her. "Come on."
"Before we begin, I want your word, in writing, that if I give you a story, you insist that Arthur had absolutely nothing to do with Tom Leodegrance's death."
Morgause smirks, leaning back in her chair. "I'm assuming you have something to share with me, then."
"Your word, Morgause."
"Fine."
"And I want you to swear that you'll leave Arthur and everyone in my family but Uther alone from now on."
"So precious."
"I'm not joking, Morgause. Either you swear or I don't give you what I have."
"I'm afraid that depends on you, Morgana."
Morgana raises her eyebrow and holds up the journal in front of her.
"No, no. You give me that, and I deny Arthur's involvement with Leodegrance. If you request anything beyond that… If you want me to leave him alone indefinitely... Well, I'll need more from you."
"I'm not giving you anything more."
"Oh, I believe I have a better suggestion than your simply giving me stories."
"I'm not going to pay you off, Morgause."
Morgause chuckles. "I don't need your money. I've earned plenty of that on my own. No. I want you to come and join us."
"You want me to work for you?" Morgana scoffs. "I don't know when I've ever heard of anything more ridiculous."
Morgause shrugs and gives her a cool smile. "I don't think you'll find it so very funny."
"I already have a career path, thanks."
"And I'm sure the literary path will do wonders in keeping your family out of harm's way."
Morgana fights to keep her tone calm, and she knows her voice comes out steely instead, "What are you suggesting?"
"Just that I already have so much amassed on Arthur. It wouldn't be that difficult to dig up more dirt on his wife."
She and Merlin are the only ones who know about their marriage, and Morgause's words bring a frown to her face. She straightens in her chair, and her knuckles whiten as she grips the armrest. "How do you possibly know about Gwen?"
"I know everything, darling. I know they've eloped and have been hiding by the seaside. I know you've found yourself a gorgeous Irishman to keep you warm, and I must say his family has quite the colourful background. I'm sure there's much I could do with the society princess and the son of a former IRA militant."
Morgana narrows her eyes at her. "What makes you think I won't leave this office and call up our lawyer? He already knows what you're up to, and it wouldn't take much to get you for blackmail and slander."
Morgause chuckles. "He can try, but he can't do much when I'm telling the truth now, can he? I've studied the law, Morgana. I know all of the loopholes. He can't get me for anything, but I can begin to release information. The society pages won't much care so long as the public bites, and I promise you they will. I have enough here to cover your family for years. Unless…" Morgause pauses, smirking in the most self-satisfied way that sets Morgana's teeth on edge, and repeats herself, "Unless you come on board. I need someone with your connections and your skills to mingle and gather information. No one would suspect you."
"You want me to be a private investigator?"
Morgause nods. "Then I'll do what you ask. I'll release the information you give me, and I'll take down Uther, no matter what it takes."
"And you'll leave Arthur alone?"
"As much as it'll pain me to miss out on such good story opportunities," Morgause concedes.
"And Gwen? and Merlin?"
"Yes." Morgause sighs. "Arthur, Gwen, and your precious boyfriend will be out of bounds from here on out. It's your call."
Morgana nods slowly. She doesn't want to do it, doesn't want to tie herself to Morgause and lose every last chance of a reconciliation, but she doesn't see any other way.
"I'll give you the night to think it over."
Her heart races as she fixes a steely gaze on the woman across from her, and she barely hears herself speak. "I don't need the night. I'll do it."
Morgause smiles, eyes cold and calculating. "Excellent."
She spends the rest of the night making arrangements with Morgause, signing deals, and explaining what she wants done with Ygraine's journal entries on Gorlois. She hands over Uther and Gaius and makes sure that Gorlois will finally be done justice and that Uther will be known to be the terrible man that he is. She has no doubt that once the story breaks, the public will turn against him completely and the authorities will have no choice but to precipitately pursue him.
Once everything is sorted, she watches Morgause prepare the version of the story that will appear on The Grail's website, and then she goes to sit in the coffee shop until the story breaks in the early morning.
She knows she shouldn't be there, not when she's just handed Gaius over to Morgause and his betrayal fills the environs with pain, but she needs a place of comfort, and her masochism wins out.
Will doesn't question her even though her appearance without Merlin is suspicious at this point, and she settles into her corner nook, nestled into the shelves steps above the rest of the shop.
She tries to work in her familiar haven, trying to rewrite the sections of her latest chapter on which her supervisor had commented. Instead, she finds herself blankly staring at the room in front of her. She replays nights with Merlin and old chats with Gaius until the misery begins to press down on her chest.
She's leaving behind everything she knows and loves, and the pain is too much. Breathing deeply, she pulls herself away from her thoughts, and, fixating on the blinking cursor, begins to constantly refresh the news pages.
The Grail headline surfaces at 5:08 a.m.
"Murder at Albion: Esteemed Doctor Helps Cover-Up Another Pendragon Death"
Others follow within the hour and by 6:03, every major serious and trashy news outlet has the story covered. Uther's face is plastered across her screen along with old photos of him with her parents.
She reads every article, every tweet, every comment that begins to surface and only when customers begin to flood in for the morning rush does she decide that it's time to move on.
She shuts her laptop and zips it into its emerald green case before slipping it and the pile of books she'd lugged in with her into her bag. She runs her hand across the oak table and trails it along the bookshelves beside her. She takes in every detail of the room: the worn carpets the overlap on the floor, the heavy armchairs in which she'd spent more nights than she can count, and the heavy shelves that line every wall of the room, filled with books and mugs and mementos that had made the shop her haven, her home away from home. She has no doubt the happy memories will outweigh the pain of the last day, and she wants to remember everything about the shop.
Giving Will a shaky smile, she pushes back the tears that threaten to fall and makes her way out the door for the last time.