The late morning sunlight revealed a room he hadn't had the chance to learn in the dark. Wood paneling lined the walls that held a few watercolor paintings and a square window to the side that looked out onto a riot of brilliant green and a portion of glimmering blue that belonged to the lake. A writing desk resided in the corner of the room with a lamp on its corner, but it lacked a chair companion. Otherwise, the room seemed unlived in, empty.
When he sat up on the full sized mattress that was firmer than he was used to, he saw he was wrapped in a pale blue bedspread and white sheets patterned with tiny lilac flowers. The visual details all aided in conjuring up imaginary memories of a young Kate Beckett growing and thriving here. He smiled sadly at the thought.
Speaking of Kate Beckett, she was not in the bed with him any longer. But when he glanced out the window, he could see her in faded jean shorts and an oversized sweatshirt, walking a dirt path in a pair of worn, green Converse sneakers. Clothes she must have kept here at the cabin, he figured.
Castle watched her for a while, studied her absorbing solitude from the bark of trees her fingers brushed over and the grass her feet flirted with. Despite the heartache this place brought her, she seemed free here.
He dressed once he saw that she was making her way back to the cabin. In the time it took him to pull his t-shirt over his eyes, she was in the doorway to the bedroom, studying him with a raised eyebrow.
"I could feel you watching me." She nodded her head towards the window, but he merely shrugged in response.
"You fascinate me, Agent Beckett," he grinned, rising from the bed and brushing past her for the kitchen, where he was sure he had smelt brewing coffee.
But she caught his bicep, her palm warm on his skin. "It's Kate, at least - while we're here, okay?"
She seemed more vulnerable at her father's cabin too, less guarded and not so adamant that he stay away from her. It was almost as if she was finally conspiring with the part of her that wanted this, her heart instead of her head, and he ducked forward, swept his lips over hers in brief kiss that made her hand tighten on his arm.
"You look beautiful this morning, Kate," he exhaled against her mouth, lifting a hand to caress her face, trailing his thumb over the paper thin skin beneath her eye out of habit. Shit, they had habits.
She smiled softly as her fingers trickled down the inside of his arm to twine with his and lead him into the kitchen.
Kate stabbed the nail of her thumb into the aging wood of the table, scratched at the old marks and stains marring the well-used piece of furniture that now only gathered dust. Castle was watching her – when was he not? – but he had yet to begin one of his hourly interrogations.
They were sitting side by side at the table her dad had made so many years ago, during one of the summers when she was still a little girl and they came to the cabin every single year out of tradition and love for the woods. She could still remember sitting on the kitchen floor next to his beaten up toolbox, watching from a few feet away as her father had worked with the wood, handing him the tools he requested and bringing him the glass of orange juice her mother poured for him when he needed a break. She remembered the pride she had felt when he had grinned at the finished product and thanked her for her help.
I'd be lost without ya, Katie.
"Would you have followed through if it had been real?"
She furrowed her brow at Castle over the rim of her coffee mug, the one her dad had always used in the past.
They had just finished breakfast, if she could call stale toast and some berries she had found outside an actual breakfast. She really needed to go to the corner store a few miles out and get them some actual food.
"If what had been real?"
"Your job as a hit woman," he clarified and she felt an involuntary clamor threaten to climb her spine and make her shudder. She would be lying if she claimed she had never considered the lifestyle, the real one without the badge, and the thought of actually being hired to kill him made her stomach churn.
Kate placed her cup on the countertop they were sharing, but still circled the warm ceramic in her fingers. "I approach each assignment as if it were real. So no, I likely would never have harmed you."
"Why?"
She narrowed her eyes at him, but his gaze was unwavering. He wanted her to say it, admit something that would cross the line into more, but she refused.
"Because I get under your skin in all the best ways?" he finally asked with the signature spark in his gleaming blue irises.
She rolled her eyes.
"You get under my skin all right," she muttered, herding the crumbs on his plate with her fingernail until they formed a tiny pile in the middle.
"Have you ever wanted to… follow through? With orders to kill someone?"
There was caution in the question, he knew he was toeing the boundaries of her comfort zone, and she sighed, perched her chin on her folded hands.
"There have been times where I understood why someone would want another person dead, but it's not their decision to take another person's life. It's not mine either. I am not judge, jury, or executioner, Castle. No one should be allowed that power."
Castle nodded, mimicking her and bridging his fingers underneath his chin.
"So your job is to protect those you're hired to kill while your people take care of the person who wants them dead," he summarized.
"Essentially. It's never gone quite like this though," she said, hiding a small smile.
"Do you think it was fate?"
She glanced up, saw him watching her inquisitively. "I don't really believe in fate."
"How else can you explain finding each other again? The odds of it were astronomical," he insisted, so invested in his reasoning, in his belief that they were destined to meet again.
He glared at her when she began humming the melody to the childhood theme of It's a Small World.
"What time is it?"
She glanced to her father's watch on her wrist. "Almost noon. You want to go for a walk? Reception isn't good here and you could call Alexis from the trail."
Castle brightened at the idea and straightened from his hunched position over the table to deposit his plate in the sink.
She offered him her phone after they had strolled through the thicker part of the forest and were closer to the edge of her father's property where there was a clearing, a meadow of sorts.
"It's beautiful here," he murmured, the phone in his hand but his eyes roving over the colorful expanse of land, the swaying grass in the light breeze, the sparse congregations of purple wild flowers blooming across the ground.
"I recently started coming out here after I would finish an assignment, to regain perspective on things," she explained, following a vibrant red cardinal overhead with her gaze as it flew from tree to tree. "It's peaceful."
"Do you ever swim in the lake?" he asked and she sighed at the familiar sadness swirling in her chest, not having indulged in the cool waters in years, but she nodded. "We should do that. Together. Swimming."
She pressed her lips together to conceal a smile. "You just want me to wear that bikini again."
Castle turned to her affronted and then placed a hand on her shoulder. "If you are not comfortable in that swimsuit, you can totally skinny dip. I promise I won't mind."
She pondered his idea with false interest, but then inclined her head towards him, bit her lip as she shifted her gaze from his eyes to his mouth.
"I will if you will."
"Is that a promise?" His eyes were dancing with eager excitement and she shoved at his shoulder.
"Call your daughter," she insisted, walking away to give him some privacy.
Castle kept the call short, per her request, because one could never be too careful even with a burner cell. When he joined her where she waited on the grassy dirt path a few feet away, the excitement from earlier was gone.
"How is she?"
"Doesn't suspect anything," he murmured, and she could see that he not only felt guilty about lying to his daughter, but that he missed her, and Kate was the one keeping him away from her.
"That's not what I asked," she pointed out, keeping it light, but it was as if he barely heard her.
"She's fine," he mumbled.
"My team will find Gina in no time," Kate tried to reassure him, brushing her knuckles across his as they walked. "You could be back home by the end of the day."
Castle tried to offer her a smile for the attempt, but the frown remained carved into his lips as he bypassed the front porch, travelling around the side of the house, towards the back, where the lake stretched on for miles. He sat down on the edge of the wooden dock, his legs dangling off the side and his toes submerged in the water.
Kate followed after him, hesitated before she raked her fingers through his hair when she was standing beside his slumped figure. An apology formed on her lips, but she bit it back. A heartfelt 'sorry' wouldn't make him feel better, so she swallowed the useless word down, thought up a new tactic.
Standing under the strengthening rays of sunlight, Kate stripped her sweatshirt off, dropped the material on the dock and allowed her shorts to follow. Castle gaped at her, watching the quick removal of clothing in shock, but she dove into the water before he could comment.
She came up for air smiling, feeling the squelch of mud beneath her toes and the underwater weeds tickling at her shins.
"Coming in, Rick?" she teased, tipping her head backwards in the cool water and reveling in the contrasting warmth of sunlight glowing overhead.
She ducked under the surface again, releasing air through her nostrils and prying her eyes open to watch the bubbles float to the top. When she arose again, Castle was gloriously naked and taking steps backwards on the dock.
She squealed – god, who was she? – when he did a running jump into the water, drenching her as he landed only a few inches from her wading figure. Water droplets rained from his hair as he shook his head, renewed delight lacing along the lines of his face.
"This water is freezing," he gasped, glancing back to the dock, but Kate stole his hands before he could consider abandoning the chill of the lake for the warmth of the land. She guided him farther out, where the water lapped at her throat and crashed against the broad wall of his chest.
She splashed him when she noticed his eyes on her chest, studying her figure through the swaying film of the water. He slung an armful of water back at her and ducked before she could return fire, disappearing beneath the surface.
She kicked away when she felt his fingers sweep her legs, but wasn't quick enough to escape him as he pulled her under. A smile that felt more foreign than familiar claimed her lips as his arms encircled her beneath the surface, a triumphant grin spreading across his own mouth, relishing in his great accomplishment of dragging her under the water with him.
She pinched his shoulder and he propelled them upwards.
"Still cold, Castle?" she chuckled, slithering out of his arms and treading water in a circle around him.
He shrugged as he followed her movements with his gaze. "Maybe a little, going to warm me up, Beckett?"
She skimmed her fingers down his abs when he caught her around the waist, tugged her body to his once more, and watched as goosebumps that had nothing to do with the water temperature scattered along his arms.
Kate's hands clutched the slippery slopes of his shoulders as she hoisted upwards and curled her legs around his waist. She was buoyant in his arms, practically weightless, and his hands remained at her thighs for only a moment before wandering up her bowed spine to tangle in her dripping hair.
They floated contently for a moment, peacefully.
"I could love you, Kate," he murmured, so quiet she almost didn't catch the words above the soft sounds of the water.
She didn't stiffen this time, didn't push him away or linger on the cold spread of dread that constricted her insides. She dipped her mouth to his instead, tasted the lake on his lips and sunlight on his tongue when it touched hers. She locked her arms around his neck, held onto him as their swaying bodies fell into a dance that was growing all too familiar.
He could love her.
She feared she could love him back.