Ding Dong, the Witch isn't Dead

How do you get on in life after falling so far down a hole that you have to wait and pray for a flood to fill it up and let you float out? I keep going back to us in my head. We had so much fun together. How she tossed it all away—tossed away my chance to know and love and raise my daughter—is unforgivable. She went back to him and I went out of my mind.

And here I am, waiting for her. Searching for ten fucking years has boiled down to sitting in a coffee shop while she gets driven down from New York in some fancy-ass car to beg my forgiveness for keeping our child from me. I've already resolved myself that there's no restitution for this wickedness. No way I can get over it.

But I can't forget that she's my greatest weakness. The only girl I ever loved. The girl I wanted to make proud by serving our country and becoming a hero. But I'm a complete and utter zero compared to him. This is why I won't even try. There's no point.

"Hello, Eddie." Her voice is sing-song in my ears, filled with music that takes me back to drumsets and needles on vinyl and fucking her on leather seats. I died a hundred times while she was away, and just the sound of my name on her lips is oxygen to embers.

"It's Edward, now," I correct, though she could call to me like a puppy-dog and I'd be at her feet. Goddamn. I was already failing at this resolution to be a badass thing. She possessed me, once upon a time, but I have to remind myself that she's no princess. She's a villain to me; the wicked witch in disguise. But fuck me sideways if she isn't a fucking beautiful sorceress.

She hesitates a moment before lowering herself into the seat before me. "Edward … right. Sorry." It sounds like she's apologizing for much more than the nickname, but it's sure as fuck not going to be that easy. "Edward, I—"

"Here you are, ma'am," a guy in a dark suit interrupts, placing an expensive-looking coffee before her.

When he walks away, she shrugs. "Sorry … uh, Jake insists I have a driver."

"Ever since he decided he wanted to be a Senator?" I ask. I figure I should keep up on the man who's raised my kid.

She shrugs. "Something like that, yeah."

"So, did you think you were ever going to tell me, Bella?"

Her eyes meet mine. They blaze as hot as the fire I remember which lives in her core. She knows what I'm talking about. "Not really, no," she admits. "I stopped thinking about it."

I lean forward on my elbows, angry—fucking angrier than I've ever been. "So you're telling me," I spew, "that you looked at our child every fucking day for all those years and you stopped thinking about it?"

She twitches; she swallows hard, but she doesn't back down. Her eyes don't drop. "Yes." It's a firm answer in the face of a devil.

My palm flattens to the table with a resounding thud. Patrons of the coffee shop turn to face us, and Mister Security Guard gears up to take me down if need be. I scoff. He wishes he'd able to. "Don't fucking tell me that, Bella. Do not tell me that."

"Okay, more lies then, yes?" I forgot how stubborn she is. When I knew her, the stubbornness was buried under hurt; now it's a full-blown, festering infection of pain. "Fine. Okay. So I'm a happily married housewife, ready to break onto the campaign trail for my dearly beloved husband of ten—"

"Years?" I seethe. "You've been married to that prick for ten years?" She nods slowly and unsure. "Not only did you leave my bed and hop into his, you married him. Lovely." I'm ready to get up and walk out but she speaks again.

"It's not easy to be a pregnant teenager," she says.

"I would've taken care of you," I spit out.

"From the back of a tour van?" she bites back. "With the couple hundred dollars you split with the four other guys in the band? Sounds great, Edward. Perfect."

It hurts the most because she's right. She's hit the nail of the head, and the pain of it shoots through me.

"I … we would've figured it out, Bella. Now I'm nothing. Nothing to her, nothing to you."

"Do you want to be something to her?" she asks, grinding her teeth in frustration. "Because what happened, happened, but now's the time to change what you want."

"I can't change what I want to change. There's nothing to fucking change about this situation."

"I'm suggesting you be a part of Reny's life—"

I scoff. "Damn right. I'm going to pin your ass to the ground."

"Without lawyers, Edward."

I laugh out loud in her face. "You're fucking joking. You think I'm not going to get a lawyer? After you stole my child from me for an entire decade?"

"This is exactly what I'm suggesting."

"And why do you think I'll be going along with that idea?"

"For the same reason everyone does anything. Money. Money and the chance to know her without making a circus out of her mom and … dad."

I was wrong. This hurts the most.

xxxxxxxxx

A/N: I got distracted by Outlander. Yep. It's true.

I'll post tomorrow.

PS. Hi, Sharon! A coworker is now reading. Awwwwwww! 3