AN: Here's chapter 9! Hope you guys enjoy it. Important AN at the end of the chapter!

Tori:

I was in the car and Jade seemed to be driving me aimlessly around town. After she had given me the flowers she ushered me into her car and insisted I didn't ask questions, that was almost forty-five minutes ago and I was hoping we'd get to our destination soon.

Finally after what felt like an eternity we pulled into a fancy looking Italian restaurant called Osteria Mozza. The place looked pack but Jade had us reservations so we didn't have to wait for a table.

"How did you get us reservations at such a fancy restaurant?" I asked somewhat impressed. She just smiled at me and grabbed my hand and I followed behind her as we were led to our table. Our waiter took our orders and eventually brought us our meals. While we ate we chatted and shared some laughs. Honestly it was the best night of my life.

After the meal we got into her car and she drove us to some field and she got out and motioned for me to follow. I got out and she started to run before jumping and landing, while laughing, on the grass. I caught up to her and lied down beside her. She held my hand and looked at me and smiled. We didn't really say anything just looked up at the night sky. Being LA and all you couldn't really see any stars, but just being here with Jade was all I needed. I rested my head on her stomach and closed my eyes.

"You know I love you more than anything, right Tori?" Jade asked me.

"I do now," I said with a smile but not moving my head. "And you know I love you more than life itself right Jade?"

She answered by leaning forward and kissing the top of my head. I smiled into her stomach. After what must have been an hour we got up and she drove me home. Honestly that must have been the best date anyone has ever had.

Jade:

I was back at home now after my date with Tori which thankfully went as well as anyone could of ever hoped. I thought about our future, we were juniors this year after all to be seniors next year. Would we end up together for the rest of our lives? I shook my head and smiled; of course we would. I knew without a doubt how much I loved her and no one, besides her that is, could keep me apart from her. I pulled out my phone and sent her a text.

I'm going to bed I'll see you tomorrow at school. -Love Jade xoxo

I normally don't put stupid crap like xoxo in my texts but hey I was feeling all mushy tonight. I closed my eyes and soon fell into a peaceful sleep.

Tori:

I got a text from Jade and I sent my reply. Tonight had been perfect; up until now that is. I was out of my anti depressants, I had been for a few days now. The pharmacy must of screwed up and not given me the correct amount when they filled it. I didn't want to bother anyone with my trivial problems though. It was only two more weeks until I got them refilled, what's the worse that could happen?

I had been feeling it lately though. The depression creeping up on me, and I was having more trouble sleeping. There's only so much the Ambien can do for sleep when you're depressed. A lot of people sleep more when they get depressed but I'm the opposite, I sleep less. Total insomnia hits me. Tonight had been perfect and I wasn't even depressed while we were out but the second Jade dropped me off I felt it creeping back up on me.

Along with the depression came the insecurities. How could Jade love someone as messed up as me? I mean honestly even I have trouble loving me! I don't know how my mom could love me when I got the love of her life sent to jail. Maybe she doesn't love me. I don't think if anyone could ever love me. My dad had told me he loved me that he was the only man who would ever truly love me. My therapist tells me it was a weapon he had used to make me let him do the things he did. Thinking he was the only man who could ever love me would, in my dad's view, hopefully make me let him do what he did.

It worked sometimes too. I would even think maybe it be okay in the end that maybe he did love me and what he did was okay. I knew deep down what he did wasn't okay though and it would always resurface. He told me a lot of things to try and get me to let him do the things he did I didn't believe any of them at first but when he would tell me them every night over and over, and sometimes it seemed like no one but him cared about me, they begin to stick.

He would go out of his way sometimes to make it seemed like my mom didn't care. Would set her up to seem uncaring and when me and him were alone he would always point out how he obviously loved me more than her. He did a lot more than psychological tricks to make me think he loved me so much. Of course he had more his pleasure in mind than mine.

He would take me, and only me not Trina, on trips. Disney Land, Knotts Berry farm, randomn places he thought I'd enjoy. We'd always get a hotel room though even on trips when we weren't far from home, insisting to my mom we were going to stay until it closes and he'd be to tired to drive home, and of course the room would only have one bed. Those nights would be horrible just me and him all night and he didn't have to worry about being interrupted or caught by anyone.

Thinking about these things didn't help the already seeping in depression. I let out a loud sob and hugged into my pillow. I wish Jade were here to make me feel better. I could call her but it wouldn't be right. It was late and we had school tomorrow it would be selfish of me to ruin her sleep. That made me sob harder thinking of how selfish I was. Sometimes I hate myself.

I didn't deserve Jade she was to good for me and my biggest fear is she'd realize it soon. Also I feared she'd realize soon that I'm just gone beyond repair.

AN: First let me get the unimportant stuff before out before the important thing first sorry for another short chapter! I know I promised back to normal lengths but I just don't have the time! My roommates home and I basically do everything for him :(. So my choice was write a normal length chapter but take a lot longer to get it up or write another short one and get it to you guys sooner. I'm guessing you guys can see my choice. Next Trina will be more active in the story soon, and I know I told you guys there would be a song soon but it got delayed! It will be in here sooner or later though. Also the story is going to get a lot more angsty soon.

Now the important thing: I'm thinking of changing the name of the story! I was thinking maybe Gone Beyond Repair. Or Tori Vega: Gone Beyond Repair. What do you guys think? Change it or leave it the way it is? Anyways I'm out for now. Reviews are appreciated!