Chapter Six: "Faint"
KHdudeable: Well time to start writing the story… wait which one is this?
Kallista: The story from yesterday. And yeah. *Poker face*
khdudeable: Ahh! How did you get here?
Kallista: ...I'm writing the story. A part of it. I'm helping or something.
khdudeable: Oh yeah! *Remembering*
Kallista: So yeah. Enjoy the story you guys! I apologize for Desmond being a huuuuuuuge Mary sue, it's not my fault!
Desmond: Yes it is. You gave me that angsty backstory!
Kallista: You're not supposed to be here. Shut the hell up and go back to talking with your-
KHdudeable: Let's just start this.
I woke up to see a bright light and hear a booming voice that sounded strangely familiar, wait Deja vu I remember this happening
"Hey genie dude,i know already. Three wishes."
"What do you mean, I told you that already? I was just saying 'look out theres a cree-"
*BOOM* What the heck was that!" I yelled
"-per behind you… Oh, looks like it already blew up…"
"Wait, where are we? We were just at the house and Levi somehow broke the logic of our universe and killed me… Or did he? Aaaanyway, let's head back to my house."
"Sure…"
Back at the house
"Well, what should we do?" Cupa asked the brunette, who was too occupied by something. No answer. "Desmond, good morning! It's me, Cupa! What. Should. We. Do?" She repeated. Desmond snapped her head back to look at the creeper girl. "Shut the hell up, you." The teen hissed. "Can't you see, I'm doing something."
"No. I can't! You're staring into nothing!" Cupa replied.
Just then, K walked into the door and the two froze… Not literally, they just stopped moving and turned to look at him, and then they started to move. Or in other words,Cupa ran over to him and gave him another one of her bone crusher hugs.
"Cupa… I can't… breath." I stuttered out
"Sorry." She said with a look of sadness on her face
"Hey you two, could you, maybe, shut up?" Desmond growled at us. "I can't hear my own thoughts. And I need to hear them when talking to-" Cupa cut her off. "I KNEW IT! YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AGAIN!"
"No big surprise." She hissed. "Why do you think I was staring into the wall?"
All out of sudden, we heard a silent mewl. "AHHH!" Cupa screamed
"What, I found the cat on my way back. I can't exactly let him stay out in the wild all by himself." I explained as Desmond took the cat who, apparently, enjoyed her presence. Was it due to her shirt? I don't really know.
"KILL IT! KILL IT! DESMOND, KILL THAT HELLISH BEING! CALL YOUR BOYFRIEND, THROW THE CAT, ANYTHING!" Cupa shrieked and screamed. "JUST GET IT AWAY!" The young girl didn't really enjoy Cupa yelling at the cat. But she just ignored her and said. "I'm going to name him Twix."
"Who said you got to name him? I found him!" I exclaimed with a lot of emphasis on It. Desmond shrugged. "Seems like your girlfriend Cupa doesn't like him. That might lead to you leaving him. After all, out of you two, I like cats the most. Plus? I myself have some traits of a cat. I get to name him. Therefore, he's Twix." She retorted.
"What do you mean, traits of a cat?" I asked curiously as Cupa screamed even louder. She facepalmed. "Do I really have to explain everything?"
"I never said you have to explain, I was just wondering… But you do live in my house, so yeah, you do." I remarked with a smirk. Desmond gave us two the closest to a smirk and responded in the same tone. "You didn't say how long it needed to be. So I'll tell it this way. I'm lazy, stealthy, and I don't really get owned by anyone. You can't make a cat do something it doesn't want, you can't make me either. There you go."
"Okay, and I really just wanted a list anyway, so that was good."
"Why didn't you tell me that you wanted a list before you wanted an explanation about Levi and the respawn place?"
"Cause, like you said you can't make a cat do anything, and you're a cat."
"I'd decide if I wanted to make a list."
"Well than why didn't you?"
"Because you didn't ask me to."
"Okay…"
"SO BASICALLY!" Her voice got louder. "What do you want to do now K's here, Cupa? You were bored, you said."
"Oh, yeah. Well, it's getting late, so how about I make dinner?" She said nervously. Desmond glanced at her. For her, dinner was boring. "Well." She started. "If you need me, I'll be drawing pictures. With Twix. I won't let him near Cupa." The brunette paused a bit then looked at the creeper girl who had a thankful look on her face. She continued. "It's not for your safety, but for Twix's. You mean absolutely nothing to me."
"Wow, I think you're going soft Desmond." I said teasingly. She turned her head to me with the red shine I saw. "Going soft? Well, Princess, do you want me to fix that for you? Maybe I can pierce your stomach, beat the shit out of you two, and then we can invite Levi and have a nice tea party?" She asked sarcastically. "Know what? We'll invite Endora. And the skeleton! Let's all have fuuuuuun! Let's get f**king drunk, so I don't look soft to you, Princess! In fact, let's go now! The night has just started! Time to party! Let's have a goddamn orgy!"
I just started laughing my head off at how mad she had gotten. She just continued, putting Twix down and pointing her sword at me. "And how about we just die now and have an orgy in hell, huh? Maybe we can drink the lava! Sure, it'll burn our intestines and it'll be painful but WHO CARES!" Then all of sudden, she got serious and slashed at my arm, leaving a scar. "Call me soft once again, and watch Cupa die."
"Okay, okay! I was just teasing! Sheesh, you don't have to take me so seriously all the time!" I yelled, covering my scar. She picked up a pencil and some papers then sat down to draw. It took her a few minutes. Right after she finished, me and the creeper girl ran to see what she was drawing. She glared at both of us and pushed us lightly with her two swords. We didn't want to get hurt so we backed away a bit but i was still able to catch a glimpse of it. Her drawing depicted two people, a girl and a guy. The first, a girl, was apparently her. It seemed to fit her, The second was a guy with raven black hair, and an outfit way more different than ours. He wore a brown jacket covering a white shirt, grey jeans, and some belts. I chuckled at her drawing as she tucked it into her pocket. "So, you were drawing Levi?"
"And how do you know?" She asked me firmly. "Well you described him to us, don't you remember?" I said trying not to give away me already living this part.
"I did?" She said trying to remember..
"I wish she remembered it." I whispered barely audible to Cupa. Unfortunately, she heard me and growled once again. "Well, let's put you in my place. You try and draw your crush, then show it to us. In my opinion, this drawing was nice."
"I never said it wasn't good." I said confused "Did I?" Cupa shook her head no. "See, I never said it wasn't good, i just asked if you were drawing Levi." She shrugged and threw me and Cupa some papers along with the pencil. "Then you draw your crushes. I'd like to see you."
"Well, that's kind of unfair don't you think? Our crushes are in this room!"
"Don't you tell me you're gay for him already." Desmond glared at me. "Now it's a love cube. Heh, cube. Block."
"*Sigh* I meant I have a crush on Cupa and vice versa."
"That's just a cover up. I'm too ugly to use as a cover up and you won't admit you're gay for him. How wonderful." She once again said sarcastically. "Even if you weren't gay, do you want me to draw him shirtless? You will be gay when you see that."
"Yeah, no… I love Cupa and nothing will change that, unless she turns evil and tries to kill me, but that's impossible."
"What if she dies?" She asked. "Or what if you see him shirtless? "
"I don't think seeing him shirtless will make me gay for him, and if she dies I'll bring her back with a wish, I still have three." Desmond completely ignored the wishes and said. "For one, you have never seen him shirtless. You didn't ever meet him. How can you know? And second. What if Herobrine kills her? What if she gets overkilled?"
"Actually I have met him, but you don't remembe- Oh crap, I just told you about something you can't know about." I said realizing my mistake, Desmond once again ignored it and continued. "You have never talked to him while alone. I bet that dream of yours included Cupa and something. But what if you had a friendly chitchat before the frickfrack?" She was once again being a sarcastic little shit. "Well it wasn't a dream and also you tried to kill her and your "Boyfriend" Levi came over and helped you and then he killed me… But somehow I'm still alive."
"I don't care. I said friendly chit chat." "Well, how could i do that? he wants to kill me!"
"There's a reason." She growled.
"What reason would anyone have for wanting to kill someone they don't even know!?" I screamed as she waited for me to finish. Then she continued. "Hey, what about all the assassins that exist in games? They don't know the people, yet they have a reason." "They're usually hired or something, wait… wasn't Cupa going to make dinner?" I said realizing it was rather late. Cupa blushed and went to make dinner as Desmond argued with me. When Cupa finished making dinner we had another great dinner, and Desmond once again ate only apples. Did she have something against meat? When we finished I left and went to my storage room and got a cake and a few pumpkin pies then burst in saying "WHO WANTS DESSERT!" and they stared at me surprised. Cupa yelled. "Ohh ME! ME! ME!" Desmond just rolled her eyes and ignored it but had some anyways. I cut the cake into 3 pieces and Cupa asked. "Why are there three pieces? you should cut it into more that way-"
"Yeah, Levi's a person too." Desmond added.
"*ahem* That way we can have more pieces and won't have to waste as much." Cupa finished glaring at Desmond quickly then looking away when she realized.
"Well, equality is still a thing." The girl commented.
"True." I said while cutting them even smaller and made about 12 normal sized pieces "If Levi wants some we each get three slices and otherwise four." I said while considering what Desmond said earlier. She once again did the smirk thing and pushed one plate towards the fourth, empty chair. And it was strangely picked up. Desmond fake coughed and whispered. "Unvanish before you do that." In a second, he appeared on the chair. He was sitting like he owned the place, but i guess he could take us two down if he wanted to, well except for that whole takeover thing with me since I'm partially immortal with it. "I know what you're thinking, and yes i could take over this place if i wanted to. But I won't since I don't care, and you're being hospitable currently. Why would I even want to take over? This is just a plain wooden house with two floors. Nothing much.." Levi said while my Jaw was dropped and cake was halfway in. "How did yo-" "How did i do that? Because I'm from the other universe, that's how. Doesn't anyone here get an ability?" He commented. Desmond glanced at me and Cupa with a victorious look on her face. "Okay, fine, Desmond. Your 'Boyfriend' is awesome but still I wouldn't be gay for him!" I said responding to her look.
"Sometimes being gay isn't your choice, K." Desmond retorted.
"Suure…" I responded dripping with sarcasm. She still had that victorious look. "Denial is the first sign."
"Yeah, like i said before I love Cupa and it ain't gonna change! Got it?" I repeated myself
She took off the victorious look. After a second, he repeated the name. "Cupa, huh?" He asked. "What a dumb name. Cup-A. Koopah. That reminds me of that nickname you gave her, Desmond. Seriously though, who gives birth to a kid and goes "HOLY SHIT LET'S NAME HER CUPA CREEPER"?"
"Well, I like the name! It sounds cute." I said defensively as Cupa shivered. He continued with the rant. "How does "CREEPER" sound Cute? Does "Pedophile" sound nice to you too?"
"Hey, no reason to bring your mom into this." I said sarcastically- He swiftly kicked me in the crotch, then sat back down. "Does this sound nice to you also? I guess a guy named "K" would be the one to tell me about names and choices." He calmly said. "Your name is a letter. Therefore, you have no rights to tell me about cute names. "
"Actually my name is KHdudeable (K-H-Dude-Uh_bull), my nickname is K since its easier."
"That just proves my point." He hissed at me. "A guy with a name like that has no rights to tell about names. Nor does miss creeper."
"Well isnt your name a food? Ravioli?" I said with a smile remembering what Cupa called him when she couldn't remember his actual name.
"Whatever my name is, it's better than yours."
Then, Desmond decided to join in. "His name is french." She pointed out. "And maybe that helps him prove a point?"
"Exactly, his name is french. Ravioli! I would like some ravioli anyone know where to get pasta?" I said getting a bit crazy from being so tired.
"It's not KHdudeable so it's okay." He retorted. "And it doesn't mean Creeper. Your name doesn't even have a meaning. While miss Cuntupa's name here means Creeper. Maybe that's how you met? She just broke into your bathroom while you were showering?"
"Actually no. we met the first day I got here! I don't know how i got here I just know that she was the first friend I made here and so far one of the only good ones!" I started yelling at him about to snap. He seemed amused by my anger.
"Yell now, will you? Go ahead, snap. I could just kill you right away, no matter what are you."
Then a bright light flashed out around us and we heard a loud voice shout "WILL YOU STOP YOUR BICKERING?! I'M GETTING A HEADACHE!" Cupa appeared to be angry. She was the same, only older. No, no blue hair. She was just older.
Desmond almost laughed as Cupa shrieked. "Oooh, Cuntupa's going Super." She whispered to Levi. "Or is she on her period?" She laughed after that as he glared at Cupa.
"SERIOUSLY DO YOU KEEP FORGETTING ABOUT ME?!" the gem screamed and then i realized i still had my 3 wishes. I smirked at them "I wish Levi was my friend and Desmond and him would never fight with us unless me and Cupa didn't mind or it would help us." I said threateningly The gem, however, didn't speak. Finally, the silence was broken. "Dude, I can't control relationships or feelings." It said. "Do you know how much guys tried to get back with their ex girlfriends? Or how many girls tried to be the girlfriends of youtubers? Let's be realistic, just wish for diamonds or some shit."
"Yeah, wish for diamonds. You don't have anything to hold them? Why don't you shove them up your ass?" He added on.
"Fine, I wish for… Hmm… Oh, I know. i wish i had control over my 'snapped mode'" I yelled."You mean your essence of Notch?" the genie replied "WHAT! i have an essence of notch inside of me! then hell yeah i wish i had full control over that!" I repied "Alright that'll be 20,000 diamonds…" Silence "Just kidding you still have all 3 so its free, I guess."
"Deja vu or something?" Desmond whispered. "You have to deal with another dude who has this snapped mode?"
"Don't worry, I can handle this. This one isn't older than sixteen, it'll be easy. "
"You obviously dont know what the power of an essence of notch has! I've never even used 1% of it! I could control time, mobs or even life itself depending on which one I have!' I said going even further into insanity. He raised his voice so I could hear him.
"But you can't control relationships or feelings?" He hissed, amused by my insanity. "You can't control anything without the gem, to be realistic."
"What do you mean? I have an essence of notch and I now have full control of it? its not the gem its part of me. the gem is just some sort of emerald i think." I said blandly
"If it is then it doesn't grant you anything. Poof. You have no control. The voice was Herobrine."
"AHH, Herobrine run its herobrine! hes the dead brother of notch and basically the Devil!" shouted "Hah, no im not im just Notch's brother who happens to have died in the nether I'm not evil i just control the mobs and allow them to do what they please I mean really notch controls NPC's and players while I control the mobs." he said laughing slightly from how scared we were.
"Haha, it's you, Herobrine. Nice seeing you. A bit of cliche, though." Desmond said. "Can you teach me how to get those glowy eyes?"
"No I can't, they're part of me being dead. You would have to become immortal and die with a secret item with you, I can't tell you or i'll truly die." he said harshly then flied away, not wanting to take any more of our fighting.
"Oh, that's just too bad." Desmond mimicked a sad voice then went back to normal. "To lighten up the mood…Does anyone want me to draw something?"
"DRAW RAVIOLI SHIRTLESS!" Electrified Cupa screamed. Desmond shrugged. "I told you." She said to me. "One of us will fall for him."
"NOOOOOO!" I screamed like in tv shows "How could that happen? Cupa why do you want to see 'Ravioli' Shirtless?" I asked her continuing with the 'Ravioli' thing.
"It's probably because she's electrified." He whispered to Desmond.
"Yeah. But this means you're hotter than K." She whispered back.
"You do know I've been able to hear you this whole time?" I whispered to them suddenly right next to them. "That is the point." Desmond retorted.
"And I doubt Cupa thinks he's hotter than me. Shes just slightly crazy right now." I said
"Maybe she was crazy when she saw you, because you're the only human that didn't run away? So she got excited and shit?" She asked. "Maybe now she's actually thinking like a human."
"Nah, she likes me because I don't care that shes a creeper, even if she looked like one I would still like her if she was the same Cupa I know." I said
"How do you know if she likes you?" Levi asked. "Did the essence of Notch give you a detector on your hand?"
"No, I know because she's told me and also because… How do you guys know if you love each other? same thing for me and Cupa!" I responded like a smartass
"You called us guys," Desmond pointed out, "So in the end someone was still gay for him. When was someone gay for you, K?"
"What kind of a question is that? I dont know anything about myself really. I remember just appearing here one day and meeting cupa." I said
"So in comparison, he's hotter than you." Desmond summed up all her thoughts.
"WHAT! I never said that! I mean really it depends on who you are, to someone he could be ugly." I responded
"I'd like to meet that someone!" She sarcastically yelled. "I don't think there's such a thing."
"Okay how about I call my friend from my world and try to get him here? and by the way hes the only person i know of from my world. And i only know his name and basic stuff like how hes about 18, and also he goes out with nearly everyone he meets, luckily he didn't go out with me that would've been creepy." I said
"Sure, you can call your buttbuddy." Levi growled, unimpressed. "But firstly explain how do you know him and yet you said you know only basic stuff?" "I know basic stuff about him and I dont know how I know him, I just know we're friends." I replied
"Because logic." Desmond threw her hands in the air and exclaimed.
"Oh yeah and screw physics!" I yelled after her, which she might have taken as a challenge… I think I need to explain to her that physics Isn't a physical thing…
"So anyhow…" Electrified Cupa said, trying to get us to notice her. "About that shirtless drawing, Desmond." Desmond threw her head back then asked.
"Yes? What about it?"
"Where is it."
"For your information, I was arguing. But if K has a laptop, then you could search something up."
"What's a laptop." Cupa asked curiously
"Its a piece of technology that allows you to do a lot of awesome stuff… It's basically an extremely complex and compact redstone device." I explained,
"Ohh, do you have one?" She asked me.
"Luckily, yes, I do but there's no wifi anywhere." I responded.
Desmond looked at Levi who glared at Cupa. "She's a creeper." He hissed once again. "Don't you think she'll look up nude pics?"
"No big deal, you always have a sword or two." She replied, Levi just stared at her.
"Yeah and if i do, she'll still see them." He argued
"Won't she forget being electrified and all that happened? Maybe we can give her some eye bleach?"
"ARE YOU CRAZY! that would burn her eyes out!" I yelled infuriated
"That was my point." Desmond retorted. "How'd you feel if I saw your pics, K, and went like "OH HEY IMA FORWARD THIS TO MY FRIENDS LOL?" You know, this IS the minecraft world. No logic shall ever exist. Cupa can just respawn. As an actual creeper, which you will kill without a thought."
"I only kill mobs when they try to kill me, and creepers when they're about to explode." I replied.
"...And she'll, due to instinct, explode!"
"Actually some creepers don't explode, like Cupa they don't have that 'explosive' instinct or whatever." I responded.
"Well, Notch or Herobrine will give her the instinct as a punishment for meeting you and not killing you, probably."
"Why would Notch do that? and herobrine as you just saw is good." I replied
"Well, maybe to prevent Creepers from appearing as adorable? They were made to kill. Not to be your fanservice girl."
"They weren't made to kill or anything none of the mobs were made to kill, they decided to because they don't like us and would rather live without us in the world."
"They were made to kill. To get little boys who destroy the land mindlessly to stop!"
"well I have no idea who those people are and I would never do that, I only destroy blocks to get resources thats it, I do it to survive!"
"You actually are destroying the land, it doesn't matter if it's for survival." Levi commented on our arguing. "She is kind of right. Kind of."
"well atleast Im not doing it mindlessly." I replied.
"DESMOND! Where are those shirtless pictures?" Cupa shrieked from the laptop.
"HOW DID YOU GET MY LAPTOP!" I yelled.
"WHO CARES! GET DESMOND SO SHE CAN HELP ME DOWNLOAD THESE FILES." She yelled back.
Desmond just sat there in shock and took a bite of cake as I glared at her.
"So… Umm… You can blame me for telling her." She said calmly. "And you can blame Levi for being hot."
"Actually I can blame you for bringing him here." I said plainly
"I didn't bring him here. He teleported. And that's because he's hot as f-"
"How would he have teleported here if he didn't know where you were?" I replied
"So it's my fault? Huh? Well, bringing him here was a good thing, we finally got the sexy back." (A/N from Kallista: Pun intended!)
"What do you mean its always been here since… okay im not sexy but you can't really say it came back?"
"I'm bringing sexy back either way. First, there's Levi, then there's me. And I'm kind of hawt too."
"Suure…" I said trying to be funny.
"Well. Us two, me and him, are being hot together."
I stared at her, obviously pissed off. Cupa was looking for shirtless pics while Desmond was silently laughing to herself.
KHdudeable: HELLO! quick Kallista what does it say about the word count?!
Kallista: Over 4000!
KHdudeable: THATS AWESOME!
Kallista: Yeah! It's THREE AM in Croatia. Are you proud of me, people?
Desmond: Stop. Kallista. Just stop.
Cupa: Author zone… Thingy! Yay!
khdudeable: CUPA! why are you here?!
Kallista: This is supposed to be AUTHORS, Cupa. :T
khdudeable: wait what about Desmond… well at least Levi isn't here, and my OC which has the same name as me… and is totally not me.
Desmond: Or is he here? You won't know. Ever.
khdudeable: I WROTE THIS I WILL ALWAYS KNOW!... I think
Desmond: *Whispers* Cupa's looking up shirtless pics of him-
Kallista: Desmond. Exit. Now.
K: SHE'S STILL LOOKING AT THOSE!
Cupa: I CAN DO WHAT I WANT! YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!
Kallista: LEAVE! Desmond, go to sleep! Cupa, K, stop yelling!
khdudeable: what kallista said! or i'll write you 3 out of existence!
Levi: Desmond, hand over the eye bleach, Cupa saw a picture-
Kallista: OUT!
*everyone leaves*
khdudeable:Finally!
Kallista: I'm going to sleep now. Bye!
khdudeable:Bye!
What will happen next? find out next time!
SUPER LONG CHAPTAA!
five thanks too Kallista for helping with this even though she was up till 3! AM!
this chapter is super long!