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Chapter 17: Plan B (part 1)
Damon arrives back at the boarding house just as Stefan is heading downstairs; which can only be considered horrible timing. Upon seeing his brother, Stefan's demeanor instantly cools.
"Damon."
His tone is just about as indifferent as he possibly could get it.
"Stefan," Damon replies back, mockingly.
Stefan simply walks past him, about to head out the door without another word, but Damon reaches one hand out to block his way and pulls him back so that he has to look at him.
"You know, if we're going to pull this off you're going to have to talk to me at some point."
Stefan shakes him off, his eyes narrow and his jaw tenses.
Well, tenser than usual, Damon notes silently to himself.
"You really don't want to hear what I'm going to say," Stefan growls. "Trust me."
He tries to push past Damon again, this time a little more violently.
"And you don't really want to hear what I'm going to say, but I'm still gonna say it anyway," Damon replies, still refusing to get out of the way. "Because as much as you think I've wronged you, you stole my girl first, remember? So I'd say this makes us pretty much even."
"You're actually comparing Katherine choosing me to you seducing Elena?" Stefan says incredulously.
"Well actually to set the record straight, I didn't seduce Elena," Damon replies. "A…she was one hundred percent calling the shots from the start. B… I took her away because she asked me to. C… I was a perfect gentleman until she made it clear she didn't want me to be, and D…not once did I compel her, or lie to her, or trick her into anything."
Damon turns toward the parlor and contemplates whether or not he should pour himself a drink or just take a few sips out of the bottle. Right now, the bottle seems to be the better choice; especially since Stefan is still standing in the hallway, staring at him with that typical Stefan Scowl of Disapproval.
Damon ignores the death glares.
"So," he adds, "if you want to be mad at me, go ahead, but I will not apologize for being her choice. And as for Katherine, we both know that everything out of that bitch's mouth was a lie. But just so you know, brother, I was more than ready to accept that Elena chose you, but then you screwed it all up and I had nothing to do with it. So really, you only have yourself to blame. But hey, I kind of owe you thanks for helping me get the girl, so cheers."
Damon is just about to raise the bottle in a mocking toast to Stefan's stupidity when it suddenly flies out of his hand and shatters against the wall.
"Hey!" Damon shouts.
He's more annoyed than surprised at Stefan's sudden outburst. That bottle of bourbon had been one of his favorite; not to mention it had been worth close to $600 when he'd acquired it.
He doesn't have the chance to react more than that because a second later his back slams hard against the wall, almost cracking the wood paneling in two.
"My fault?" Stefan spits, looking ready to kill. "How is this my fault?"
"You cheated on your girlfriend. With her best friend!" Damon says, shoving Stefan with enough force for him to hit the opposite wall. "And that bottle was expensive, by the way."
"So what?" Stefan shrugs. "You probably stole it anyway. Just like you steal everything else."
"Really?" Damon arches his brow. "We're doing this?"
Stefan answers in a growl, rushing at Damon again, sending him flying into a wooden table and splintering the wood.
"I guess we are," Damon rolls his eyes and punches Stefan square in the jaw, momentarily stunning him. Stefan retaliates by trying to hit Damon, but his brother is much too quick for him and dodges him easily.
"You know, if you'd just admit you were an idiot we could stop this and talk like civilized people," Damon points out, dodging another one of Stefan's blows while delivering one of his own.
"You don't know the meaning of the word," Stefan snaps, trying to land another punch.
"I know enough to not cheat on my girlfriend with her best friend," Damon points out.
"I didn't…" Stefan swings at Damon again just as he ducks out of the way.
"…Mean for it," he tries to land another punch, this time to his midsection, but Damon blocks him with his hands.
"…To happen like that!"
"Oh I know you didn't," Damon rolls his eyes, effectively blocking another of Stefan's attacks.
"You always want it to be the right time…"
He grabs Stefan's fist as it tries to connect with his jaw again.
"…The right place…" He twists his wrist with lightning quick reflexes to pin Stefan's hand behind his back.
"…And you haven't figured out yet that moment doesn't exist. Face it, brother, even if you'd realized your feelings for Caroline before you kissed her, there was no way things wouldn't be as messy as they are right now. And don't try to tell me that you just got caught off guard because Elena told me she saw you kissing Caroline, not the other way around. So either you don't have feelings for her, in which case you're a jerk and an idiot, or you do have feelings for her, in which case I have to ask why the hell you're mad at me?"
"You slept with my girlfriend!" Stefan explodes, spinning around to punch Damon with his free hand.
"Technically she was your ex girlfriend," Damon reminds him, rubbing his aching jaw. "And if you haven't noticed, Elena has a mind of her own and does what she wants."
"She was vulnerable and you took advantage of the situation," Stefan insists. "It's so like you, Damon. You wait until the exact moment when we have an argument and then you just swoop in and-"
"First of all," Damon interrupts, "I don't 'swoop in'. The whole knight in shining armor routine is your thing, not mine. Second of all, I wasn't the one who suggested Elena run away; she came up with that on her own. I didn't MAKE her fall in love with me. Actually I'm just as surprised as you are. Granted, I knew there was an attraction and she cared about me, but in no way is that my fault. Did I sort of kidnap her that one time we were in Atlanta? Yes. But I was already on my way out of town when I came across your girlfriend on the side of the road after you failed to tell her the truth about Katherine and she found out anyway. Did I step in as her escort for the Miss Mystic Falls pageant? Yes, I did. But it was either that or let her be humiliated because you were off the blood wagon and nowhere to be found. So if you're going to get all self righteous with your indignation and claim that I went after your girlfriend, fine; but when it comes to your relationship imploding, you're the one holding the detonator."
He turns toward the doorway, deciding to leave the mess for Stefan to clean up later, once he has cooled down and is thinking rationally again.
Stefan is still sulking and bitterly mutters under his breath, "If you had just left town-"
"Then you would have no one to blame when you inevitably screwed up and Elena broke up with you," Damon finishes. "Face it, Baby Bro; your relationship was doomed from the start with or without me in the picture."
"And you think YOU have more of a shot with her?" Stefan snaps.
Damon shrugs. "Stranger things have happened. Now if we're done with the teenage temper tantrum, I'm going to take a shower and change into something I don't mind getting werewolf blood on later."
Damon turns his back on Stefan and makes his way upstairs.
He's almost at the landing in the middle of the stairs when Stefan calls after him.
"Elena doesn't want to be a vampire."
Damon rolls his eyes. Of course Stefan has to get the last word.
He pauses in his steps, turning to look back at Stefan, who has followed him into the hallway, his various cuts and bruises already starting to heal; though not as quickly as Damon's has.
"When did she tell you that?"
"She didn't" Stefan shrugs, "it's just what I know."
"Things change," Damon drawls. "She could change her mind; after all, she changed her mind about you."
"This is different," he says calmly. "I'm not saying this as the ex boyfriend, but as your brother; if you truly love her, as you keep saying you do, then you have to be able to choose her happiness over yours; even if it means giving her up. And honestly, I don't think you're capable of that."
"Are you?" Damon counters.
"I may not be thrilled that Elena chose you," Stefan admits, looking away as if he still can't quite forgive Damon, or himself for his part in it.
After a very long pause, of which he'd no doubt needed to gather his thoughts, he looks back up at his brother, his expression turned to one of complete seriousness, if not total acceptance.
"But if you're the one who truly makes her happy, I'm not going to stand in the way."
"Good to know," Damon says, not knowing what else to say in that moment.
"I'd hate to have to kick your ass again."
"Just don't screw it up," Stefan warns him, turning toward the front door. "I'll see you at the Lockwood manor."
When the door shuts behind him, Damon heads up the rest of the stairs at lightning speed; wanting to get away from Stefan and his words of 'warning' as quickly as he can.
Within minutes he's in his spacious glass shower with the rain-showerhead spraying over him.
He often comes in here when he needs to relax and clear his head; something about the sound of water hitting the tiles and the steam concealing everything from sight makes him feel like he's truly alone.
He can't pick up any sounds of far away conversations or anything else that, thanks to his perfect vampire hearing, has a way of breaking the silence. In here at least he can hear himself think, and he definitely has a lot to think about; not even counting this new revelation Stefan has brought to his attention.
If Damon is completely honest with himself, he already knows that his relationship with Elena has an expiration date.
She might be his now, but how long would they be able to keep this up?
If she remains human, he only has two years before she heads off to college, and then what? Would he follow her wherever she chose to go, or would he suck it up and try to do the long-distance thing, knowing full well that he was holding her back from having a real college experience?
And what about ten years from now, when all the other women her age start having babies and getting married?
He had once told her that vampires couldn't procreate, although they loved to try. The second part might be enough for her now, but sooner or later she would realize just how much she was giving up for him.
That was Scenario number one, but even if she decided to turn for him, he would give it maybe a few years before she realized how bad he was and left him. Or worse, she'd end up staying, compromising her morals all in the name of loving a psychopathic serial killer.
Scenario number two seemed likely, now that he thought about it.
After all, she had forgiven him for 1…turning her brother's girlfriend into a vampire because he was bored 2…turning her birth mother into a vampire (granted, he didn't know her at the time but still pretty tough to get over that) and 3…snapping her brother's neck.
Not to mention the other times he lashed out whenever someone hurt him.
And what would he do if she broke up with him?
Damon knows he has a terrible track record for controlling his anger and in all likelihood having her reject him again might mean the death of someone close to her.
Or worse, he could just turn off his humanity and that would be it for them, for good.
And if she didn't become a vampire, if she decided she wanted a normal life, well, he couldn't fault her for that. She deserved to grow up, have a family, and grow old with someone.
If he could be that for her he would, in a heartbeat, but he can't.
Vampires can't have children.
End of story.
So unless he were to magically turn human... his fist clench tightly and slam into the wall, chipping a large chunk off one of the tiles.
He does it again, not quite finished unleashing the rage building up inside him.
No matter which way he thinks about it, the end is the same; he might have the girl now, but he was fooling himself to think he'll get to keep her.
Ding
The chime of the doorbell breaks the silence.
Rolling his eyes, Damon cuts his shower short and hurriedly dresses.
It could be important; no one came to the boarding house besides Elena, Ric, or...well, that was pretty much it for regular guests when he thought about it.
Maybe the witch might show up when absolutely necessary, or Blondie, but he knows for a fact that Blondie is with Liz, at home now that they'd determined she could be trusted to keep a secret, and Bonnie is at the Lockwood manor with Elena.
So that left Ric; he'd texted Damon earlier about spending the day with Jenna, but then again he might have discovered something else that might be of great importance and had changed his mind at the last minute.
When Damon opens the door, however, he's more than a little surprised (and annoyed) to find Jeremy Gilbert standing there instead.
Two thoughts simultaneously pop into his head: 1…What the fuck is he doing here? And 2…Elena was going to be seriously pissed when she found out.
"I need to talk to you," Jeremy says by way of greeting.
"And why would I need to talk to you?" Damon asks, making it quite clear by his tone of voice and the fact that his hand is still on the door (ready to close it) that he does not want to hear whatever it is Jeremy has to say.
After all, Elena had expressed her concern and pretty much forbid him from getting involved, and yet here he was; butting his nose into things he shouldn't be.
"Tyler Lockwood has to kill someone to activate his curse," Jeremy blurts out. "He's not a werewolf yet."
"Wow, fascinating" Damon says, "Not enough."
He moves to close the door again and Jeremy pushes against it to stop him.
Had it been anyone else Damon might have slammed the door on their foot without remorse, but this is Elena's little brother and he figures breaking Jeremy's foot might not sit so well with her.
"But Mason Lockwood is, and he came back here specifically for the Moonstone. And I know where it is!"
"And you're bringing me this why?" Damon asks, already knowing (and dreading) the answer.
"Do I need a reason?" Jeremy replies, then at Damon's skeptical look he whines.
"Look, I just wanna help, okay?"
"What does your sister say about this little discovery?"
Jeremy averts his eyes guiltily.
"Oh, you haven't told her, have you?"
"Elena doesn't want me involved," Jeremy admits. "You heard her last night, but..."
"But you're stubborn and a Gilbert and you just can't help yourself," Damon finishes for him. "Wow, your search for life's purpose is as obvious as it is tragic."
"Are you going to let me in or not?" Jeremy says impatiently.
Damon steps aside and lets him in.
He can see why Jeremy wants to help; he's too much like his sister to just sit on the sidelines, even when expressly ordered to.
Hadn't Elena defied him time and again every time he told her to wait in the car or stay home or just stay out of things and let him or Stefan (or the both of them) handle it?
The time they had to rescue Stefan from the tomb vampires comes to mind as a pretty damn good example of her not listening to reason.
So as much as he might want to keep Jeremy out of things for Elena's sake, the fact is that if he tells him to get lost it will probably result in Jeremy getting into more trouble, not less.
"So," Jeremy says as he follows Damon into the parlor. "What's up with you and my sister?"
"If this is your subtle way of giving the overprotective brother 'don't hurt my sister or else' speech, you should know that only works if you're actually a threat."
Jeremy shrugs. "No threat, just trying to make conversation."
Damon pours himself a drink, thankful that Stefan hadn't destroyed the entire bar in his rage earlier.
"Well how about we just skip the pleasantries and you tell me where the moonstone is so I can go get it?"
"See, here's the thing," Jeremy says hesitantly. "I don't actually know where it is."
"You don't say?" Damon says sardonically, taking a sip of his drink. "Then why did you tell me you did?"
"Would you have let me in if I told you the truth?" Jeremy counters.
"Hell no!" Damon exclaims, rolling his eyes.
Jeremy looks very much like Elena the way he arches his brow as if to say 'I've made my point'.
Damon lets out an irritated growl.
"Do you have anything useful to bring to me or are you just here to annoy me?"
"I said I didn't know where it was," Jeremy corrects. "I never said I didn't know who had it."
"I thought Mason has it."
Jeremy shakes his head.
"Tyler has it. He showed it to me the same day you and Elena left town."
"So what makes you think he still has it?" Damon asks, skeptical. "After all, a lot can happen in a few days; he could have given it to Uncle Mason by now."
"Maybe," Jeremy acknowledges, "but I doubt it. The last time I talked to Tyler, he told me he was deliberately hiding it from his uncle to be a dick, because Mason wasn't telling him what it was for."
"Okay, well let's just pretend for a minute that you're right, and Tyler's still playing 'keep away', " Damon says. "How does this help me?"
"I can get the stone."
"How?" Damon asks, still skeptical.
"I'll ask Tyler for it."
"You think he's just going to give it to you?" Damon scoffs.
"Why not?" Jeremy shrugs.
Damon resists the urge to roll his eyes again; not because the situation doesn't warrant it, but because he's pretty sure he's reached his quota for how many times he can roll his eyes in one day without them permanently getting stuck in his head or giving him a splitting headache.
"I swear, of all the stupid, idiotic idea you could come up with…"
"Do you have a better idea?" Jeremy challenges.
"Yeah," Damon says, as if it's obvious. "Kill Katherine. But, since I don't know where she is we'll go with Plan B. You sure you can get the stone?"
"Yeah," Jeremy replies.
"Good, your life officially has purpose," Damon says, setting his glass tumbler on the bar. "Let's go."
"I can't believe it," Bonnie says, shaking her head in disbelief.
"I know," Elena replies as she attempts to sort through the various feathery and sequined masks. "It's a lot"
"Tell me about it!" Bonnie agrees emphatically. "I mean, I get why you'd want to take off after seeing Stefan and Caroline like that, but when I found out you left with Damon...and then you come back and tell me he's your boyfriend…"
"I didn't plan it," Elena assures her. "It just sort of...happened."
Bonnie frowns.
"It's not that you're with Damon that bothers me, or that Caroline kissed Stefan and you guys aren't speaking right now," she says. "It's that I didn't even know things were so tense between you, Caroline, and Stefan at all, and I had no idea you were in love with Damon!"
"I'm sorry, Bon," Elena sighs, "but I just didn't think you'd want to hear any of it and I know where you stand on the whole vampire thing; especially anything concerning Damon."
"I'll admit I don't like him," Bonnie agrees, "but does that really make me the odd-man out?"
"No," Elena assures her. "No, Bonnie, of course not!"
"I know where I stand," Bonnie continues. "And I know where you stand, but where do we stand?"
"You're my best friend, Bonnie," Elena reassures her. "I didn't mean to let all this craziness get in the way."
The two of them hug and agree not to keep secrets anymore, and Bonnie even promises to make an effort where Damon is concerned (provided he behaves himself).
Elena can already sense that things will turn out better than expected; she had been worried that Bonnie would be far less understanding than she is.
The mood shifts instantaneously the second Bonnie spots Caroline stringing up lights in the gazebo, however.
"I thought you told me she wouldn't be here," Bonnie hisses, nodding her head toward Caroline.
Elena does her best to remain calm, even though she's more than a bit annoyed; if anyone had any reason not to want to deal with Caroline it was her, not Bonnie.
Truthfully, she isn't exactly pleased to see her either, but for the sake of The Plan she has agreed to call a truce. Clearly Bonnie has no intentions of doing the same.
"Look," Elena sighs, exasperated, "If I can deal with Caroline then there's no reason why you can't. And while we're on the topic, you really need to get over this, Bon. She's still our friend, and with everything that has happened with me and Stefan, she really needs you right now."
Bonnie shakes her head vehemently. "I can't," she insists. "She's a vampire; it's different now."
"It's only different if you let it be," Elena points out. "She's still Caroline."
"I need time," Bonnie pleads. "I'm sorry, but I just...I can't be around her right now."
She turns to go, nearly crashing into Damon on her way out. She doesn't stop; she just moves past him as if he'd been no more than a background decoration that she'd hit instead.
"Excuse you," Damon rolls his eyes, before spotting his real target. "What's wrong with Judgey?"
"Caroline," Elena says, as if that explains everything. "And stop calling her that," she adds as an admonishment.
Damon shrugs.
"Sorry, force of habit."
"What are you doing here?" Elena asks, cutting right to the chase.
"Not happy to see your boyfriend?" Damon pretends to pout.
"You know what I mean. I thought you and Alaric were on Mason-duty?"
Damon grimaces. "Yeah, about that," he says, stalling, "Ric decided he'd rather sit this one out. As for me kidnapping the werewolf…what if I told you I think we might have found a way to get the stone without having to deal with Mason?"
Elena's eyes brighten at that bit of news, as Damon knew they would.
She hadn't been too thrilled at the idea of him torturing Mason.
"Really? You already found it?"
"Yeah, that's the part you're not gonna like..." he licks his lips nervously.
"Jeremy's been hanging around with Tyler Lockwood, and he told me he's actually seen the stone. That's why we're here; he's going to ask Tyler to give it to him."
"What?" Elena exclaims, irritation in her tone.
Damon holds his hands up in front of him as if to shield himself.
"Hey, it's not my fault," he points out. "And it's not like I didn't try to stop him either..."
"He shouldn't be anywhere near any of this!" Elena insists. "It's not safe!"
"All things I already told him," Damon assures her. "But look at it this way; he's stubborn and determined to be involved no matter what you or anyone else says about it. At least if he's with me, there's a better chance that I can protect him from his own stupid choices."
Elena bites her lip, not entirely convinced.
Damon places his hands on her shoulders and looks deeply into her eyes.
"I promise if there's even the slightest chance that things get too dangerous, I will make sure he's nowhere near it, okay?"
Elena sighs. She knows he's right; Jeremy is too much like her, which means that everything Damon is telling her makes more sense than she wants to admit.
"Okay," she says. "Be careful."
"I promise nothing will happen to him," Damon assures her.
"I was talking about you," Elena says seriously. "If this plan doesn't work, and you guys have to deal with Mason..."
She lowers her voice to emphasize the seriousness of the situation.
"He's a werewolf, Damon."
"He can only turn on a full moon," he reminds her. "Right now he's just a dick with a grudge against me; I'll be fine. Now I gotta go find Baby Bro and tell him we have a change of plans. You haven't seen him, have you?"
Elena shakes her head.
"No, but he's here somewhere; I saw him talking to Jenna earlier, trying to break it to her that we're not together anymore. It was pretty awkward, so I left the room."
"Yeah, I had a run-in with him earlier too," Damon says. "I'll find him."
He gives her a quick peck on the cheek.
As Elena watches him leave, she feels a familiar tightness in her chest that always signaled to her that maybe things might not be as simple as Damon had said they were.
Mason might not be a werewolf at this present moment, but that didn't make him any less dangerous. If he somehow figured out that Damon and Jeremy were after the moonstone, or if Tyler had already given it to him, things could go very badly.
They'd underestimated him once already, and he'd almost gotten both Damon and Stefan killed at the hands of Caroline's mother and one of her deputies. While Liz was now on their side, there were other Council Members that he could enlist to help him.
Not to mention his involvement with Katherine.
No, Elena decides, pressing her lips together firmly in determination. She is not going to think about that; Damon said he and Jeremy would be fine and she just has to believe that.
Besides, Stefan and Caroline aren't far away, and Bonnie's here too.
If the stone was on the Lockwood's property, then one of them would be able to find it. And if it wasn't...well, she'd just have to hope Damon didn't do anything reckless.
He might be willing to die for her, but she isn't willing to let him prove it.
"Why would you involve Jeremy?"
Stefan shakes his head, making it clear just how he feels about that idea.
"He's playing Indiana Jones," Damon scoffs. "He involved himself."
They're standing far enough away to not be conspicuous, but still well within earshot of the conversation between Jeremy and Tyler.
Damon rolls his eyes at the obviousness of Jeremy's approach, as he flat out asks Tyler if he can see the stone again to compare to the one in the Aztec legend he just so happened to have stumbled upon.
Of course luck was not on their side today, because Tyler not only doesn't have the stone, he has given it to the worst possible recipient; none other than Uncle Werewolf Mason.
So much for thinking this could end any other way but bloody!
Jeremy saunters back to them like a dog with its tail tucked sheepishly between its legs. Clearly he had been way too sure of himself, and now that his 'brilliant plan' has failed, he's more than a little dejected.
"Sorry, I really thought he still had it," he says by way of apology.
Damon rolls his eyes.
"So now what?" Stefan says, as if he really has to ask.
"Now we go with Plan B," Damon replies.
"You really think Mason will cooperate if we ask him?" Jeremy asks, way too optimistic.
"Nope," Damon says, popping the 'p'.
He nods to Stefan. "Let's go."
"Where are we going?" Jeremy asks, following them.
"We," Damon gestures between himself and Stefan, in case there was any confusion on Jeremy's part that he isn't included in that 'we', "are going to go find Mason and find out if he still has the stone."
"And what am I supposed to do?" Jeremy demands.
"Smoke weed, steal a bottle of cheap liquor, play a video game?" Damon suggests. "What do I care?"
"I thought you said I could help," Jeremy presses.
"And you did," Damon says, exasperated. "But your usefulness ended the moment Tyler Lockwood became a dead end."
"What my brother is trying to say," Stefan interjects, "is that we can handle this next part on our own."
Jeremy scowls at Damon.
"Yeah, whatever. Dick."
He storms off, presumably to go sulk in a corner.
Damon might have had a cutting reply for the younger Gilbert, never one to be outdone when it came to hurling insults at annoying people, but for now they would have to wait.
It would only be a matter of time before Mason gave the stone to Katherine, and they need to find him and it before that happens. Because while he would relish the thought of ripping Katherine's heart out (or something equally poetic), he would much rather get the rest of this plan over with so that he can focus on what he really wants; namely Elena naked in his bed, writhing with pleasure and screaming his name loud enough that Stefan, Katherine and possibly every other vampire in Virginia might be able to hear her and know she is incontestably his.
But first, the plan, he reminds himself in an effort to keep from fantasizing about all the things he's going to do to, with, and for Elena (and risk displaying his line of thought in a rather obvious and slightly uncomfortable way).
He scans the room, his eyes resting on the one person he has been searching for.
Without a word he strolls up to her and casually (but firmly) links his arm with hers.
"You," he says by way of greeting. "Come with me."
Bonnie glares at him, obviously annoyed at his forthrightness.
"What? I'm not going anywhere with you!" She growls.
"Soooo predictable," Damon drawls, still dragging her with him. "That's why he's coming too."
He nods toward Stefan, who looks apologetic.
Bonnie rolls her eyes, but stops resisting and allows Damon and Stefan to lead her to a more secluded part of the grounds.
"Okay, this is as far as I go," she says, once they're out of sight of anyone who could overhear them.
"Okay," Damon agrees, releasing her arm.
"What do you want?" she demands.
"A favor," Damon replies.
Bonnie rolls her eyes.
"Like that's going to happen," she scoffs.
"So much for your promise to Elena to be nice to me," Damon sighs dramatically, shaking his head in mock disappointment.
"I said I would try," she clarifies. "I never said that extended past me not setting you on fire just for the fun of it."
"Touche," Damon says.
"I know how you feel about helping us out," Stefan pleads, always the peacemaker. "But since you're the only one capable of doing magic, we really need your help. Just hear us out."
"Pretty please?" Damon adds with a sycophantic smirk.
"I'm listening," Bonnie replies, crossing her arms in a 'this better be good' expression.
Damon suddenly feels the buzz of his phone in his pocket and pulls it out, rolling his eyes when he sees the message.
Predictably it's Elena, and she wants answers as to whether he's gotten the stone yet.
He shoots off a quick text, informing her that no, he doesn't have it, and that he is working on something else with Stefan and Bonnie.
Of course that leads to her texting him back to 'fill her in NOW'.
He can practically hear the demanding tone and picture her arms crossed and tapping her foot impatiently.
He rolls his eyes again, choosing to ignore her (for the moment) and focus on the next phase of the plan.
"Look, all you have to do is touch Mason Lockwood again to see if he gave Katherine the moonstone," Damon explains, as if the request is so simple that she can't possibly refuse.
"My visions don't work like that," Bonnie protests. "I don't get to ask questions."
"How inconvenient!"
Damon is getting increasingly more irritated by the moment.
He is beginning to think that he'd had the right idea all along and is tempted to just go get Elena and hightail it out of Mystic Falls until the heat dies down or Katherine's bones are ground to dust, whichever comes first.
Of course the witch might do a locator spell and find them anyway and then make good on her threat to set him on fire, or worse, give him a headache so fierce that his brain could literally explode.
The thought of Bonnie's little magic trick suddenly gives him his second greatest idea of the day.
"Although," he says thoughtfully, "let's talk about that little witchy juju thing you do with me. You know, the fun one where my brain burst into flames? What is that?"
"That's me giving you an aneurysm," Bonnie says smugly, obviously pleased with herself. "Your blood vessels go pop, but you heal quickly; so, I do it over and over again."
His phone is buzzing again, adding some irritating background noise to their conversation as he continues to ignore it.
"Is it vampire specific?"
Bonnie shrugs. "It'd work on anyone with a supernatural healing ability."
"Good. Good, good," he murmurs, already forming a plan in his mind.
"Damon, I'm not gonna help you hurt him."
Damon rolls his eyes. Of course she'd say that! It was perfectly fine when she was inflicting pain on him, but now that he's actually asking her to do it to someone who deserves it, she's going to get all sanctimonious on him!
"Mason Lockwood's a werewolf," he says testily. "Katherine's evil. They're the bad guys," he reminds her.
"Really? You're gonna play morality police with me right now? Let me put it to you another way: they're a threat to Elena. So you, witch, are gonna get over yourself and help us."
"Yeah, he meant that as a question with a "please" on the end," Stefan adds.
"Absolutely," Damon lies.
"Fine, I'll help," Bonnie agrees.
"Thank you," Damon replies in a way that says 'that wasn't so hard, was it?'
"You gonna get that?" Stefan asks, pointing to the phone still vibrating in Damon's pocket.
"Nope," Damon says.
"Not that I care, but if that's Elena calling, you should probably answer it."
"I'll call her back when we've got something to report that she needs to know," Damon replies.
"She's just going to keep calling," Stefan warns. "Trust me; it's better if you just fill her in now."
Damon rolls his eyes.
"If I fill her in now then she'll want answers to questions I'm not sure I want to answer, which will lead to her deciding to take it upon herself to get involved and potentially do something stupid that could get her killed."
Bonnie narrows her eyes in slight annoyance, but doesn't say anything in defense of her friend, probably because she knows Damon is right.
Stefan can't help himself though, and he frowns disapprovingly.
"You know, I didn't want to have to bring this up, especially since we're calling a truce right now, but she was my girlfriend up until a few days ago. I'm telling you this is a bad idea and it will blow up in your face...but if you really want to screw this up then hey, that's your call."
"Thank you for your concern, brother," Damon replies snappishly. "But I'm pretty sure I can handle this on my own."
Stefan shrugs. "Okay, but I warned you; and considering everything that's happened in the past seventy two hours, I didn't even have to do that."
"Look, as much as I hate to side with Damon," Bonnie interrupts, "he's right in this case. Elena shouldn't be involved right now; and as her best friend since childhood that's saying a lot. I know her way better than either of you, and while she's going to be pissed at being ignored, telling her what's going on is far worse; because no matter how hard we try to convince her to stay out of it, she won't. That said, I also think once we figure out what Mason did with the moonstone that Elena should be filled in, because otherwise she'll try to get answers on her own and that could be more dangerous. We all know what she's like; I don't really need to tell you what she might do if she thinks we're deliberately keeping things from her, do I?"
Stefan just shakes his head but thankfully has the sense to remain silent in his judgment, for now.
"Good," Bonnie turns her attention to Damon.
"So let's get this over with; what do you need me to do?"
"How good are you at playing the damsel in distress?" Damon asks her.
Bonnie shrugs. "Okay, I guess."
"Good." Damon says. "Let's go kidnap a werewolf."
