Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Diaries, however consider this story mine. Any dialogues not canon from the show as well as any descriptive sentences are the end result of over twenty years of writing. I have poured my heart and soul into every beautiful paragraph, every perfect sentence, every hot and/or romantic scene, and every funny one-liner. To copy this work or any other and claim as one's own, in whole or in part is a criminal offence punishable by ostracism, harassment by my loyal readers, and possibly even dismissal by the MODs. It's not worth it; don't be a thief :)

Chapter 20: The Choice

Damon swallows another glass of bourbon, letting the warm liquid slide down his throat.

Still not drunk enough yet.

He pours another.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Caroline asks, in an accusatory tone.

"Having a drink," Damon rolls his eyes. "What does it look like?"

"I mean," Caroline huffs indignantly, hands on her hips, "Why are you here when you should be at the hospital?"

Damon doesn't answer.

"You know," Caroline snaps, "I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt, for Elena's sake, but you suck at this boyfriend thing!"

"I doubt she wants to see me right now," he comments dryly. "Besides, Jeremy and Alaric are with her."

Caroline sighs in exasperation. "Gawd! You're impossible!"

"Yep," Damon says. "That's me…impossible, impulsive, self-destructive…the perfect package."

He finishes his drink, then sets it down on the bar and grabs the decanter again.

Caroline rushes over, grabbing it from his hands.

"Stop." She commands.

Damon narrows his eyes suspiciously.

"Why do you even care?" he asks her. "I thought you hated the idea of me and Elena together. I believe your words were…ewww."

He makes a face, mocking her.

"Because this isn't about me," Caroline says. "It's about Elena. And she needs you. So get over yourself already and go to her!"

Damon doesn't move.

"UGH!" Caroline throws her hands up in the air. "I give up!" she cries. "You want to screw this up? Fine! I don't know what she even sees in you!"

Damon frowns, staring into the flames of the fireplace blazing a few feet away.

Neither does he…and that's the problem.

Elena sighs as she approaches the doors of the Salvatore Boarding House. She knows why Damon didn't show up at the hospital. It hurts that he wasn't there, but she understands it.

He feels guilty.

Somehow, something happened, and Katherine must have decided to retaliate.

Katherine's words still echo in her head.

Damon sort of derailed my plans today, so now I'm paying him back.

"Damon, what have you done?" she wonders out loud.

When she steps into the parlor she finds him standing in front of the fireplace, an empty glass in his hands.

She frowns. He's been drinking. That's never a good sign.

Damon turns to look at her, and she can see that he's devastated. The look in his eyes is haunted. Broken.

"I'm sorry, Elena," Damon says. "I set Katherine off…I didn't think!"

She steps toward him, reaching out to place a hand over his and take the glass.

"It doesn't matter, Damon," she says softly. "We'll stop her. We'll find a way."

Damon pulls away from her, shaking his head.

"No," he says.

Elena stares at him, puzzled by this change in his demeanor.

"No?" she repeats. "What…what do you mean 'no', Damon? Of course we can! We have the moonstone, we know her plan…"

She reaches out for him again, but he backs away.

"I mean…" he sighs. "God, I really didn't want to do this tonight...your aunt's in the hospital and you've been through enough…"

"If this is about what happened earlier, with Stefan…Damon, it didn't mean anything. I only let him drink from me because he was so badly burnt…I didn't know what else to do…"

Damon winces at the mention of Stefan, but he shakes his head. There's a pained expression in his eyes.

"It's not about that," Damon says. "I was upset about it earlier, but that's not it…I did something, Elena. It's my fault Katherine went after Jenna. And now you're hurting, and I've hurt Ric too…I just keep screwing everything up!"

He throws his glass into the fire angrily. Elena jumps at the sound.

"No," Elena says, reaching to touch his arms and turn him to look at her. "No, Damon, look at me! You didn't do this, okay? Don't blame yourself."

Damon laughs bitterly.

"If you only knew…" he tells her. "If you only knew what a monster I really am…what I did…"

"You were upset," Elena says. "You…you did something to set Katherine off, I get it. You were mad at Stefan and…"

"Before that," Damon says. "I didn't know about Stefan drinking from you when I did what I did…I kill people, Elena! I killed Mason today."

Elena's heart sinks. "You…he's dead?"

Damon nods. "Yeah…I ripped his heart out of his chest. I didn't have to, but I did anyway, and then when I found out about Stefan, I decided that I would pour gasoline on the fire and taunt Katherine. I'm the reason…"

He runs a hand anxiously through his hair. "She went after your family because of me."

"He…he was working with Katherine," Elena rationalizes.

"He tried to kill you…Damon, do you really think I'm going to blame you for killing him knowing that he's a werewolf and working for her?"

"No, that's just it," Damon says. "He wasn't working for her. He was just stupid and fell in love with her…but you saw the well. You saw what was down there…he could have double-crossed her. I didn't have to kill him, but I did, because that's who I am. I'm impulsive, destructive…"

Elena grips his arms, shaking him.

"STOP!" she cries. "Damon, you aren't making any sense! Where is this coming from?"

Damon looks into her eyes and the pain she can see in there…she wants to hold him so badly and take it away.

"I'm sorry, Elena," he tells her again.

"It's okay," she says. "Hey…" she reaches up to touch his face.

He pulls away.

"No, it's not" Damon says.

He steps back, out of reach of her arms. He shakes his head.

He can't do this. He can't watch her defend him like this. How can she even look at him right now? How can she stand here and absolve him of every single horrible thing he's ever done?

He turned Vicki, he killed Jeremy without knowing about the Gilbert ring…there's just so many things that he's done that are unforgivable. And now, because he was angry and did something stupid, Jenna got hurt.

Next time, she might not be so lucky to survive.

Elena has no idea just how sick and twisted Katherine is. This was a warning, but next time there won't be a warning.

Damon knows it's because of him. Katherine won't stop going after Elena as long as she's tied to one of them. Stefan has already let her go. He was right; Elena was safer being kept away from all this.

She's human, and he's not.

She's young and has her whole life ahead of her!

It was foolish of him to think that he could just sweep her off her feet and have none of the other stuff matter. For fuck's sake, what did he think was going to happen? They were going to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after?

There's no fucking cure for vampirism!

This could only go one of two ways. She would eventually have to give up her humanity for him…or he would have to let her go. And he knows that if he drags this out, if he tries to hold onto her for his own selfish reasons of not wanting to say goodbye…it's just going to be that much harder to walk away.

That's why this has to end tonight, before she sacrifices everything she is just to stay with him. He knows she will. He knows without a shadow of a doubt that Elena would walk through Hell for him. She would turn for him. She would let him drag her down into the darkest parts of his soul and she would find a spark of light there and excuse everything else, no matter how sick and twisted.

She doesn't know…she couldn't know. Stefan doesn't even know everything that Damon has done. And while he can handle the disappointment from other people, his brother included, he can't live with the thought of seeing it from her.

"Damon…" she says, pleading with him. "Damon, what's wrong?"

"This," Damon says bitterly. "All of this. You defending me, like you've always done. I am bad for you, Elena! Don't you see that? Why wouldn't you be running as far away as humanly possible?"

"Because I love you, Damon!" Elena says passionately. "I chose you, and because I stand by my choice."

Damon's jaw stiffens with resolve. "Well now I'm choosing," he says firmly. "And I'm choosing to let you go."

Elena can feel her heart sink. "What?" she gasps.

Damon continues, spitting the words out bitterly. Steeling himself against the pain he can sense in her. He has to do this. He has to let her go, before she sees him for what he really is.

"I am choosing to not have to think about how you must feel every time I do something incredibly stupid, or some ghost from my past comes into our life. I'm choosing to relieve you of having to defend me for every awful thing I've ever done."

"Stop acting like I'm perfect, Damon!" Elena cries. "Do you really think that I'm going to judge you, after everything we've been through together? After everything she put you through?"

"STOP DEFENDING ME!" Damon shouts, his voice is raw and breaking.

Elena stares at him, stunned. The tears well up in her eyes.

He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Elena, but I can't change who I am…what I am. But I'll be damned if I'm going to change you."

"Damon…" Elena pleads.

He turns his back on her, staring into the flames. "You should go," he tells her.

Elena stares at his back, feeling the chill in the air. She hugs herself, mostly to keep from reaching out for him again. She knows it won't do any good. When Damon Salvatore makes up his mind about something, there's no getting him to change it.

She walks out of the room, holding back the tears for as long as she can. She will not break…she should have known he would do something to ruin everything. That's what he does! He pushes people away when they get too close.

It's what he's always done, and she was a fool to think that would change just because she said three little words to him.

She turns toward the door and is about to open it when she hears someone call her name.

Stefan has a sad expression in his eyes, almost pity. "I'm sorry," he tells her.

"It doesn't matter, Stefan," she says brokenly.

She should have known. Damon had killed Jeremy after Katherine had messed with his head and told him that she had never loved him. Elena had told him she loves him, but he just doesn't believe it. And it's not her…it's not about her at all. For all Damon's talk about not changing her, she knows. Damon won't be with her not because he doesn't love her, but because Katherine broke him so long ago.

Damon doesn't love himself, and Elena doesn't know how to help him. She's tried, for months. She's tried to get him to see that he isn't the monster he claims to be. That he cares deeply, that she can see his heart and soul and know that behind the bravado, he's a good man. He's the best man she's ever known.

But if he can't see it in himself, then there's nothing she can do. It's over.

"She won. Katherine won."

She walks out into the night, and the tears finally fall.

Author's Note:

Okay, before you take to the reviews and flame me for this, just know that Damon and Elena can't stay apart for long. They are Twin Flames, after all, and they are meant to be together. I just had to break them up because I'm playing with the timeline quite a bit and certain events need to happen a certain way.

For one thing, this fic is continuing past Plan B.

That's right, lovelies! You're going to get Masquerade and Rose included in here, and of course for it to go the way I intend it to, Elena needs to be broken up with Damon and then saved by him later.

So say goodbye to the grossness of Stelena in those episodes and get excited for my version of Damon coming to Elena's room and compelling her. You're going to love it, trust me!

Now…for those of you who were my loyal fans wayyyy back when I first wrote this story, you might want to pay attention. You see, I have fixed up this story a bit. In fact, I decided to write it in Present Tense as a stylistic choice so that you can really get immersed in the details.

You see, I have grown a lot as a writer over the past decade and a half (man, am I ever dating myself) and there's so much more I want to do with my work. In fact, I'm writing a novel right now.

Not a fanfic. I figured, if 50 Shades can be considered a "bestseller" then given what I can do, I've been keeping my own little talent hidden for far too long. So…I'm going to be working on my novel and then when it's ready for publishing I will tell you where to get it.

Technology has advanced so much that I know how to write my own e-books, so I don't have to wait for a publisher to approve my work or let anyone cut into my profits either.

So yeah, you'll all have that to look forward to. And I know you'll support my work (and help me put food on the table for my kiddos) so when it's ready, you'll be the first to know.

I might even give you early access to it.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all for your support, and definitely I want to thank those of you who begged me to finish this story even when I was on hiatus. Now that I have left behind a toxic ex who manipulated me far worse than a vampire compulsion, I am feeling happier and more inspired than ever before!

I'll see you soon

~Temptress Kitten