Guh the feels are everywhere! Ep 16 GUH.

Ok so now that those eps are done I think I can stop whining about ideas being similar. I am obviously so not in the same story at all! The writers and I are not on the same track. I will now commence writing with no whining. Similar lines, elements, and ideas pop in and out, but that is to be expected.

However! I am so sorry for the immense amount of feels that are coming out in this story, I can't seem to write about a topic like this without addressing them. Glossing over emotional content in a situation is just not in me. So sorry. Tissue alert. I figure you guys don't read my stuff because it is dry and emotionless, right?

Thank you for reading, I really hope you enjoy it, even if it's a bit dark. Thanks for your lovely reviews, sorry I haven't responded to recent comments things have been very crazy the last week. I do read and very much appreciate them! :)

Chapter 8

The next morning Nora Allen was relaxing in her bedroom reading when her cell phone rang. Once she saw that it was Barry calling, she immediately answered.

"Barry! How did the job opportunity in Starling City go?"

There was a moment of silence on the other line. Then Barry's voice responded. "Um, didn't pan out. No big deal. Mom-"

"Barry, there's a lot of wind on your end, are you driving with the windows down?"

"Kind of. Mom, do you remember what you said to me after school the day when that weird thing happened with the ice?"

Nora tilted her head, trying to remember. "Not really, we've had a lot more conversations since then." She chuckled.

There was a small choking noise on the other line, and then Barry cleared his throat and tried again. "Yeah. We have. Well I got beat up when I tried to stop those guys picking on other kids, and I tried to get away but I wasn't fast enough."

Nora could hear what was probably Henry coming in the front door downstairs. Footsteps began climbing the stairs toward where she was with a slow, heavy tread. She wondered if Henry's knee was acting up again. Her son's voice continued.

"And you told me that I had such a good heart, and that it was better to have a good heart-"

"-than fast legs." Nora finished for him. "I do remember that. Why do you ask?"

"Well, what if I had both?"

Barry moved around the doorway and stepped into the room. He was in his suit, complete with mask and hood in place. He waited nervously for her reaction as he hung up his cell phone.

Nora's phone clattered to the floor. Her reading material slid off her lap and joined it as she slowly stood up. Her face was blank with surprise. Barry watched her slowly approach him. When she was standing in front of him her eyes scanned his face, from the top of his hood to the mask, to the eyes behind it, right down to his chin. She looked down to take in the rest of his suit. It was exactly as she remembered. She noted the tear where the knife had punctured his shoulder, still visible. Her gaze went back up to his face. Their eyes met.

"It was you." Her voice was filled with wondering amazement. "It was you that night."

Barry nodded slightly. When she didn't say anything more, he pulled off his hood and mask so she could see his face better. She was still staring at him, but he could tell her mind was working at light speed.

"How is that even possible? You were eleven."

"I found a way to come back. I came back to help you."

A beat passed as those words sunk in. Her face changed, becoming more serious but also more calm, which was strange considering what they were discussing.

"I was supposed to die that night. Wasn't I?"

Barry's face went purposely blank. "What makes you say that?"

"I knew it then. I heard a sound, and there was a strange man in a yellow suit in the living room. I grabbed a kitchen knife, went in and told him to get out of my house. Before I even knew what was happening, he had the knife. And he looked at me. And I knew I was going to die."

Barry swallowed as he listened. He hated hearing it. But at the same time, he felt privileged to be told this particular story. He'd never had the opportunity to hear it before, and he never would again.

Nora's hand touched his arm. "But then you showed up. And I didn't die."

Barry hugged his mother tightly. The storm of emotions brewing in his chest was threatening to break free, but that wasn't fair to her. Not considering what he had to tell her. They moved to the two chairs next to the bed so they could sit. Barry tried to get up the nerve to tell her what he had to do now.

Barry started with the other timeline and the powers it had given him. He told her about how he helped people. Her eyes lit up at that, like she had always known what he could be. Eventually he got to the part about how his speed enabled him to time travel. When he got to the fight where he had saved her from the Reverse Flash, he ran out of words. She knew what had happened there anyway.

Nora spoke first. "You came back, for me? You came back to save me."

Barry nodded. His voice was tight with emotion when he spoke. "You're my mother."

Her face was soft with motherly pride. "My beautiful boy. My beautiful boy is a hero."

Barry choked. He didn't feel much like a hero. He felt like a failure. Nora could see the struggle he was experiencing. She held his arm again. "But something's wrong, isn't it? Tell me."

Barry took a few deep breaths before he could actually say it. "I have to undo it. I have to let it happen. I'm so sorry, mom."

Nora was very still as she took in what he was saying. Neither of them spoke for a while. Barry was too busy trying to control his emotions, and Nora was rapidly thinking things through.

Finally she spoke again. "For a greater good? The other is the way it's supposed to be, isn't it?" Barry nodded. "Just because I die?" Barry stared at the floor, but nodded again.

Nora's face was ever so slightly amused at the idea. "I never thought I was that important in the larger scheme of things."

The look Barry gave her told her he'd never considered her unimportant at all. Nora hugged him as she had when he was small, wrapping him up in her arms as if she could keep him safe from the world and all its bullies. Barry needed it as much as she did, even though his tall frame made it more difficult. Finally he ended up on his knees in front of his mother's chair, which put him at the right height for her to hold him as they both wanted her to. They were silent for several minutes. Barry felt like he was eleven again. He breathed in the scent of her perfume. It was flowery and elegant, and it had never changed in all these years.

The smell seemed to trigger a flood in Barry. He held onto his mother and told her about the timeline that was supposed to be, heroes and metahumans and losing his powers here, how Iris was his fiancée here but his best friend who didn't return his feelings there. Growing up in Joe's house. And Henry, wrongfully doing life in prison for her murder. Nora whimpered slightly on hearing that. Barry went silent, not wanting to hurt her more.

Finally Nora whispered, "You do what you need to do, Barry. I trust you."

He sat back on his knees, and then moved back to his chair. "How can you trust me? My destiny as your son is to fail you."

"No, your destiny is to become a hero."

Barry exhaled, shaking his head slowly. She had no idea how much she echoed the Reverse Flash right now. It irked him knowing the other man was right about this.

Nora mistook his head shaking for disagreement. She leaned forward to capture his attention. "Barry, that night do you know what I was most afraid of?"

"You already told me. You knew you were going to die."

"No." Her voice was so strong, his forehead creased while he waited for her answer. "I was afraid of that man, yes. But I was most afraid of him hurting my family. I was afraid of him hurting or killing you."

Memories from the other timeline surfaced. Barry remembered yelling for his mother as the lightning and wind swirled around her. But he also remembered her telling him to stay back, to not let it touch him. He sat back in his chair. He didn't enjoy remembering that night when he was eleven. But even now, when being told that she should not have survived it, his mother was more worried about him and what could happen to him.

He sat quietly, looking at her. She was remarkably peaceful for what she was dealing with. He hated the idea of her life ending so soon.

"It's not fair." He mumbled it, feeling like a child.

"Maybe not. But maybe it's necessary. I would give my life a thousand times for yours, Barry. If this is how it has to be, I am glad to know you turn out all right, and the hero I always knew you were. And besides, I've had a wonderful life. A full life."

"But only in this timeline."

"Maybe that's all I need. It's not the quantity of life, Barry. It's the quality. If you do it right, one is all you need."

Barry let out a shuddering, shaky breath. "I don't know if I can do it."

"You can. Don't think about it. Just remember how much I love you."

Barry finally couldn't hold back the flood. Tears ran down his face. "I love you too, Mom."

They hugged again, both fully aware that their time together was ending. Nora took his chin in one hand and looked into his eyes. The other hand wiped tears from his cheeks. "I know this will be hard. Probably one of the hardest things you will ever do. And I know you. You'll beat on yourself for this. So promise me one thing."

His shoulders raised a little, his chin still in her hand. "Anything."

"When you think about me, don't feel bad. Think of me, then go and save one more life."

Barry looked at her, full of misery. But he nodded. "One more life."

She nodded, staring into his eyes. "One. More. Life." Even through her tears, she smiled at him.

The sound of footsteps climbing the stairs pulled them apart. Henry entered the room, calling over his shoulder to Iris.

"Hang on, let me ask-" He stopped abruptly as he took in his wife and son. His jaw dropped as he surveyed Barry's face and suit together. There was a full thirty seconds of silence as he took in the atmosphere of the room, noting their obvious distress and tearstains on both of their faces. Iris peeped around his elbow with a worried look.

Finally Henry broke the silence. "I've missed something huge haven't I?"

The heavy atmosphere hung in the living room now, too. Barry and Iris sat together, hands clasped, facing his parents, who were also holding hands. Henry was hunched forward, his shoulders rounded as if warding off a blow.

Henry had been filled in and they were all waiting for his reaction. He suddenly looked far older than he had a few minutes ago. Barry was pretty sure imagining serving time for a crime he didn't commit, his own wife's murder no less, was enough to make him feel ten years older.

Barry tried not to break down. Again. Iris squeezed his hand, blinking back tears of her own.

"So it's let this happen to us, or the entire city suffers?" Henry looked like he was still trying to grasp the details. It was an enormous task.

Barry nodded slightly. "I don't know how, but yeah. Basically. That's the choice."

Henry stared at each of them in turn. His shoulders straightened as he sat up, still holding his wife's hand. "Then there is no choice. That's what we do."

His eyes looked suddenly clear and determined. He turned to his wife and put a hand up to her cheek. Each was more concerned with the fate of the other. It was so clear Barry could see it from across the room. Their unspoken communication was louder than words. Barry could see Henry's concern for his wife, and her agreement that this is what needed to be done, even if she hated her husband's fate. The weight on Barry's chest increased as he watched.

Iris swallowed. "It's so obvious."

Henry looked her way. "What?"

Iris smiled at the couple. "It's so obvious where Barry gets his heroic qualities. I've never seen braver people."

Henry gave her a tender father-in-law smile. "I could say the same about you and your father, Iris. Joe was a great man."

Barry managed a smile for them all. "I think you guys are the real heroes." They all looked at him, and it was hard to return their gazes with the guilt he felt. "I'm…I'm sorry I did this, guys. I didn't mean to mess everything up and then have to take it away."

"I'm not sorry." Barry looked at his father in surprise. Henry shrugged. "If what you say is true, I got to live fifteen years of a dream." His hand squeezed his wife's. "I don't regret that. No matter what happens next."

Barry shook his head. "Even if you don't remember it?"

His father nodded. "I got to experience it, whether I remember it or not. This moment is real. I better enjoy it while I can. And on that note." Henry sat up. "I think I deserve a reward for this." They all gave him a questioning look. "I want to hear about your heroics, and I want to see it in action. I think it's only fair."

Barry sat a moment, confused. "Uh, okay. What do you want to know?"

Henry sat on the edge of his seat, eager and ready. He looked like a six year old. "Tell me a story."

Barry stared at his father, amazed that he seemed so relaxed. In some ways this man was so different from the one who had already been in prison for fifteen years. Barry could see a lot more of himself in his father right now. He smiled affectionately. If his father wanted a story, he was going to get one.

"…so I'm running, as fast as I can, and Cisco's yelling in my comm. He's all, 'Go, man! Go!' And I go even faster because I need to get up enough speed."

Barry was standing in front of the other three, who were gathered together on the couch. He was using all the skills of showmanship he possessed, trying to make it a really exciting story. It seemed to be working.

"Did you…make a sonic boom?" Henry's voice was awed. Nora giggled. Iris was shaking her head with a smile.

"Yup! And I came back through the school doors, bam! And I hit Tony right on the chin, pow! And his steel ability got compromised and we both went down."

"What about Iris?"

"Yeah, what about me?"

"You got up and ran out of the way because we both went sailing, and then Tony and I were both on the ground. But my strength was really down, and even though he wasn't metal anymore he was getting up."

Henry and Nora gasped together. "No!" They were the perfect audience. Barry held back the laughter trying to bubble out. It felt good.

"He was getting up, and I was on the ground, and it looked like I was in trouble." He paused for dramatic effect.

Finally Henry couldn't take any more. "Did you get up? Did you knock him out?"

Barry shook his head. "Nope. She did." He pointed at Iris. Her jaw dropped in happy surprise.

"Me?"

"Yes, you! You swooped out of nowhere and knocked him out. You came to my rescue."

Henry and Nora were staring at Iris in admiration. If it were possible for them to like her any more, this had done it. Iris was giggling in delight.

"I like this story." She managed in between giggles.

Barry watched her, realizing how much he wanted to share experiences like this with her in the other timeline. He couldn't even remember now why it had seemed such a good idea not to tell her. Their open and honest relationship here seemed so right, like there should be no other possibility.

Her giggles made him laugh, too. He leaned down to kiss her quickly, trying not to think of the coming time when this wouldn't be an option any more.

"My hero." He winked at her.

His audience burst into full-fledged laughter.

Henry was practically bouncing in his seat. "I want another one!"

It was mid-afternoon by the time Barry and Iris left his parent's house. They were all aware that they had limited time, and no idea how much. So with a promise to come back once night fell and give his parents a demonstration, Barry departed with Iris.

He chose a high mountain that overlooked the city. The emotional high brought on by Barry's stories was starting to wear off. They wrapped their arms around each other and stayed that way for awhile. Both took comfort from the other, as usual. Barry relished the feel of them together, in love, engaged. He knew it couldn't last.

Finally Iris spoke, trying to lighten the mood. "Are you sure you need to do this? Maybe we just see if anything happens." She gave a breathless laugh, hoping that he'd play along.

Barry couldn't do it. The realization of what he was losing was too intense. All he could be was serious now. "I have to go back. I have to make things right."

"By letting them go wrong?"

"I don't have a choice. This timeline sacrifices too many innocent lives for my happiness. I can't do it."

"I knew you were going to say that."

"I'm so sorry."

"I know."

They leaned together. She pressed her face against his jacket, breathing deeply. "So, what? I'll just forget all this? A new timeline takes over?" He hesitated, and then nodded. His arms tightened around her.

She tried to laugh. "Well, it sounds painless at least. And we'll still be together." He didn't answer. She leaned back, feeling a chill. "Barry?"

Barry lifted her hand with the ring on it. Her engagement ring. "You remember when I gave you this?" She nodded. "This ring came with a promise, that I will always love you. And I always will, Iris. I always will."

But she knew him too well. She could read between the lines, picking up on his emotions and everything he left unsaid. "We're still together in the other timeline, right? You said we were best friends."

He nodded. "We are." She stared at him, knowing there was more. His throat worked, as if he were pushing down emotion. "But you- you're with someone else. Losing my parents made me too scared to tell you, and so I didn't. I was too late. When I was in the coma you met someone and you're happy."

She shook her head slightly, swallowing the lump in her throat. "But- but we belong together Barry. You never tell me?"

"No, I did. I did but it was too late. You were going to move in with this guy, and even after I told you…you still moved in with him. You're really happy." He shrugged, his voice tight. "I think, growing up in the same house, it changed things. You just care for me as a friend in that timeline. You don't have feelings for me that way." He was blinking rapidly. "So I tried to move on, and I told you I didn't have feelings like that for you anymore, and I met someone else. We just…stay best friends there." He looked out over the city, his jaw working.

Iris looked at him. "No, no! We belong together Barry! I don't care what timeline it is, we are always supposed to be together! You just gave up and moved on? Maybe I'm just confused. Maybe I just need time. Don't give up." She leaned up to his face and clutched his jacket front. Her voice was a desperate whisper. "Fight for me. Fight for me, Barry!"

The tears that rimmed his eyes made it hard to see. "Iris, I will always fight for you. I will fight a hundred metahumans for you. But I can't fight you. You're happy. And I can't go in and try to make you love me when you just see me as a friend. I can't try to break up your relationship." His look begged her to understand. She shook her head.

"No! I don't believe it, not for a minute. I will always love you like this. I don't care if we grew up together. We are meant for each other no matter what. How ever happy I am with this guy, I am happiest with you. I always will be. Whenever. However. Don't give up on me. Please. Please, Barry." She looked into his face with passionate conviction.

His face was full of misery as he nodded, because he only did it to appease her. Because he knew he had to give up. He held her close and tried to make the moment last forever. She clung to him as if she could keep him forever doing it.

The last kiss they shared was already filled with desperation and loss. They both felt the pall of another timeline beginning to creep over this one. Each one could feel the loss now. They watched the sun set and wondered what tomorrow would look like.

For Iris, it was filled with doubt and the unknown.

For Barry, it was all too familiar.