Sorry for the delay, this chapter wasn't quite ready yesterday. Things are moving along and I hope you enjoy it! :)

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Chapter 12

That night when Barry finally made it home, he slept through the night for the first time. He even left his door slightly open. Joe noticed on his way to bed and breathed a sigh of relief.

The next day Barry was working in his lab when Joe wandered in after lunch. He dropped a newspaper on Barry's desk and waited. Barry glanced at it. One of the main articles on the front page featured a grainy picture of the Flash exiting the chemical factory with one of the men he had rescued. He shook his head with a wry smile. He was perfectly aware who must have taken the picture. Iris had captured him mid-motion as he was leaving the man at the ambulances. The warehouse fire was behind him. She was a pretty good photographer. This was the second time she'd managed to get a picture of him without his noticing.

Joe must have been thinking the same thing. "You need to be careful if she's following you to the same disasters. One wrong move and she could recognize you."

Barry's first thought was simple. Would that be so bad? He looked back at the newspaper so Joe couldn't read his expression. Memories of sharing his hero identity with his fiancée were filtering back. It had been wonderful. But a moment later he remembered that telling her wouldn't be nearly as simple here. He'd been keeping it secret for quite a while, and she would definitely be angry. He nodded, still looking down.

"I'll do my best."

Now that he'd taken care of necessary business, Joe smiled slightly as he tapped a finger on the headline, drawing Barry's attention to it instead of the picture. "Nice work, Barry."

THE FLASH RESCUES 5 MEN FROM WAREHOUSE FIRE

"If not for him, we'd be dead."

Barry smiled. Six men had actually been saved there, but the Flash couldn't take credit for the last one. Nora's voice flickered in his mind again, bringing with it love and warmth. Thanks, Mom.

Joe was watching him. "You seem…better. What changed?"

Barry shrugged. "I guess I realized there were good things to remember too."

Joe sat on the edge of the desk. "My grandma used to say, 'Take the good. Leave the bad.' I always thought that was good advice."

Barry gave him an appreciative smile. "That is really good advice. Thanks."

In the evening Iris came over after work again. Barry was sitting on the couch; same as he had been the previous nights. But this time as she hung up her coat he turned to greet her.

"Hey. How was work?"

Iris froze mid-motion, then finished with a smile on her face. "It was good, actually, did you see my story?" She came around the couch and sat opposite him.

He nodded. "I did. Good work. I knew you'd make a great journalist."

Her smile became huge. "Thanks. You seem better. For a while there it seemed like you were back in the coma. You talked about as much as you did then."

Barry couldn't hold in a mild chuckle. "Nice. Thanks. Yeah, things are…improving."

Iris waited. When he didn't offer anything more she couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed. "Good." They smiled at each other. A slightly awkward silence filled in, full of unspoken words. Barry lowered his gaze, unable to answer the obvious questions in her eyes.

Iris took a deep breath, then plunged in. "So, you and Linda broke up?"

Barry nodded, looking a bit subdued but not closing down. "Yeah. It's…I'm not in the right place for dating right now. I thought I was, but it's not working."

As she listened, Iris realized she was holding her breath. She was hoping for…something. She wasn't even sure what it was. She realized Barry was waiting for a response from her and pushed those thoughts away. "You should do what's best for you."

"Yeah. Still figuring out what that is."

Iris laughed. "Aren't we all?" He chuckled again and nodded. They smiled at each other.

They were interrupted as Joe and Eddie came in the front door. Even though they were at least a foot apart on the couch, Iris moved back further before she even realized what she was doing. Eddie glanced between the two of them, eyes narrowed. Joe was already greeting them and asking who was staying for dinner. Iris could read the look on her boyfriend's face and declined, saying she and Eddie better head home soon.

She was pretty sure she'd rather argue alone than with an audience.

Sure enough, they were barely in the front door when the interrupted argument from the night before resumed.

Eddie threw his coat over their couch and paced with his hands on his waist.

"Look, Iris. I get that you and Barry have a long history together. And I get that you are best friends. But sometimes I feel like the outsider when I'm with you two, and I shouldn't be the one feeling that considering you and I are the ones in a relationship."

Iris took a deep breath, trying to be patient. "I'm sorry you feel that way, but Barry and I grew up together. We're always going to be close. I'm not trying to make you feel left out."

Eddie exhaled sharply. "I'm not sure you get what I'm saying. You two aren't trying. You don't have to try. It just happens. There is something between you that no one else can compete with. Once I thought I could, but I'm not so sure anymore."

Iris was staring at him. "What do you mean?"

Eddie gave her an incredulous look. "You don't see it? You two get each other on a whole different level. You talk without words. He gets depressed and you spend day after day sitting with him saying nothing. You're telling me that 'you know what the other needs'. You two are connected in a way that I can only dream of with you. I'm tired of competing, because I always come up short."

Iris shook her head, beginning to feel truly upset. "You don't have to compete. I love you. You don't come up short."

Eddie's look was pure frustration. "I do. It's not fun hanging around the outside of you two. I didn't sign on for this, Iris. This isn't how it was supposed to be."

"What are you saying?" Iris wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"When we started dating, it was just the two of us, and it was great. Even if it was a secret, it was great. Then Barry woke up and everything was different. It's never been the same. It was better before."

The moment the words came out his mouth Eddie knew he'd gone too far. Iris was staring at him, looking horrified. Shame immediately crept in.

"Are-are you saying you'd rather Barry never woke up? Just so you didn't feel threatened by our friendship?" She was looking at him like she barely knew him.

Eddie sat down on a nearby chair. He couldn't believe he'd just said that. He didn't truly feel that way. He liked Barry. But it was hard feeling like the third wheel in his own relationship. "No. I didn't mean it that way."

"It sure sounded like it." Iris shook her head. "Barry is always going to be a part of my life. I don't want to lose you, but I can't take being pulled between you two all the time. It's too hard."

Eddie nodded. "It is too hard. So don't be pulled. Just…just stop hovering over Barry. He'll be fine. He doesn't need you to be there for him every minute."

Iris stared at the carpet, thinking. What Eddie was saying made good sense. Barry seemed better now. Eddie was her boyfriend. She loved him. He needed her too.

But the memory of Barry hugging his knees in the park while tears rolled down his face still hung with her. Sitting with him on the couch while he was shut down into himself had been one of the scariest things she'd ever dealt with, including the Clock King. Memories of him as a little boy trickled through. Afraid of the dark, standing up to bullies, the two of them sitting in silence. Barry was so important to her. She didn't know if she could stop hovering until she knew he was really okay. She couldn't bear to lose him again.

Too late she realized the silence had stretched far past the comfortable range. Eddie had been watching her face, waiting for a reply. Obviously what he saw there had not been reassuring. He gave a resigned sigh, anger layering over his hurt again.

"Fine. Do what you want. He's always been more important. It's not like I'm surprised."

He headed into their bedroom and shut the door behind him.

Iris sat on the couch alone for several more hours.

The rest of the week passed quickly. Every evening after work Iris came by. She and Barry chatted, watched television, helped Joe with dinner, and generally just spent time together. Every once in a while she would catch Barry with a sad look on his face. Every now and again Barry would look at her in concern.

The third day they were relaxing on the couch while Joe cleaned up. Barry looked pensive. Iris immediately noticed.

"Bear, you okay?"

His face cleared quickly. "Yeah, I'm okay. I just…I think I'm going to go see my dad tomorrow."

"Oh, that's a good idea. It's been a while hasn't it?"

"Yeah. The last time…was hard." He looked at his hands.

"Why?" She moved toward him without realizing it.

"We talked about the night my mom died. That's never easy. But I never knew he felt guilty about things that night. He told me he wished he'd never touched the knife. He put his fingerprints on it, that helped the jury find him guilty."

Iris's problems suddenly seemed very small. "Oh, Bear. That's awful. I'm so sorry."

He nodded in acknowledgement. "You just never know what little thing is going to make such a big difference, you know." He straightened up and blew out a big breath. "But enough about me, what about you?"

Iris widened her eyes. "What about me?"

He gave her that classic Barry look, like she was a book he could read. "You've been spending every evening here this week. And I appreciate it, but I don't think you're just doing it for me anymore. Everything all right?"

Iris sighed. "I…just don't really want to go home right now. Eddie and I are fighting a bit. We'll figure it out, but I'm just taking a breather." She could see the crinkle in between Barry's eyebrows that meant he was looking for better clarification, but she didn't offer any more details. Barry seemed to understand that. He should, considering he still hadn't told her why he had been so deeply depressed.

They settled onto the couch in silence.

Barry spent time remembering his fiancée. Hearing Iris and Eddie were having disagreements would have been reason to celebrate a few months ago, but now he wasn't sure how to feel. The hope that she returned his feelings had long since burned out in this timeline. They had a bond, they were close, and they loved each other. But that didn't mean they were in love. When he had bid farewell to his fiancée, he had truly said goodbye to her. He always had and always would love Iris. He couldn't deny that anymore. But when he had returned he had done it knowing that he would never have that again.

But he still missed his fiancée. He missed their closeness and the way they had tackled problems together. And above all he missed their open, honest relationship. There had been no secrets. He was tired of having secrets from Iris. A part of him felt like there were way too many now and wondered if he should fix that. But trying to fix it just might break things.

Iris was trying to prepare herself to head back home. She and Eddie hadn't spoken much the last few days, beyond a few formal and short conversations. She just wasn't sure what to do anymore. She loved Eddie and wanted to make their relationship good again. But she didn't know how. He couldn't seem to stop feeling left out. She knew that coming to her father's house every night was probably not helping at all, but she really had no where else to go. Here at least she got support. She sighed, wondering if there was another argument in store.

When Iris stepped in the door that night she was already on guard. Eddie was watching television with a beer. She sat next to him and took his hand. He continued to stare at the game he was watching, but closed his fingers around hers.

"Eddie, I don't want to fight anymore. I love you. Please, can't we move on?"

Eddie's face looked resigned. "Were you with Barry tonight?"

She took her hand back. "I was at my dad's house. Yes, Barry was there. I would have come home if I felt like I was going to have a nice evening with my boyfriend. But you were still barely speaking to me this morning."

Eddie still hadn't looked at her. "I'm just tired of feeling second best. And the minute we fight, you go straight to him."

Iris could practically feel her blood pressure rising. "I went home. To my family. To my dad and my best friend! Where did you expect me to go?" He didn't answer. She kept talking. "I am so sick of this, Barry and I are close because we grew up together. It doesn't mean anything else!"

Eddie shook his head. "I know siblings raised together their whole lives that aren't as close as you two. They don't have that kind of connection. So what is it between you? Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me you have never, not even once, thought about him like that?"

There was a split second where perhaps she could have saved their relationship. All she had to do was look him in the eye and say never. But that was a lie. And she didn't want their relationship built on lies. So instead of responding, she just froze. Hearing her silence, Eddie looked at her for the first time. His blue eyes pinned her down, reading the answer on her face.

"Oh my God." He breathed. Until now, he hadn't wanted to believe it.

"No. No it's not like that." She was desperate to explain. "I used to wonder, way back before Barry was struck by lightning. I used to think maybe there could be something more. But he never said anything, and I thought it was just me. And then he was in a coma, and his heart stopped over and over and he wasn't waking up. And the more I waited the more I realized he was never going to. So I told him goodbye. I picked a day, and I went to visit him, I told him goodbye and I left. I said goodbye to a future with him, and I abandoned the idea that we would ever be more than friends. And then you and I started dating. And it was really good. And I really love you. So yes, maybe I did, but that was a long time ago, and just because he woke up it doesn't mean anything. I love you. Barry was too late. I'm with you and I care about you so much." She finally stopped talking, awaiting his reaction.

Eddie's face was deeply saddened. He swallowed. "So, you're telling me that if Barry hadn't ended up in a coma you wouldn't have abandoned that idea. That you wouldn't have said goodbye." Iris opened her mouth, and then shut it, basically confirming his thoughts. "So I am second best. And what, now you're with me because you made your bed and you're going to lay in it no matter what? I don't want to be the choice you make yourself stick with."

"I'm sticking with you because I love you." Her voice was practically a whisper.

Eddie's hand came up to cup her cheek gently. "I believe you do love me, Iris. I really do. And I love you. But I want someone who has that kind of connection with me. I think I deserve that. And you deserve it too. Something is holding you back from Barry, but it's not because you love me more. You do love me, but you've never loved me as much as you love him. You can stay with me your whole life, and that is not going to change."

There was nothing she could say that would refute his words. She realized tears were silently streaming down her face as every word hit home. It was absolutely true.

Joe and Barry were about to head up to bed when Iris slipped back in the front door. Since most of the lights were out they didn't get a good look at her face as they greeted her.

"Hey baby, did you forget something?" Joe moved to hug her. She moved into the light, and then he saw her red swollen eyes and tear stained face. "What happened?"

Barry stopped mid-motion and turned to her immediately.

Iris shook her head. She wasn't even sure how to talk to anyone about this, especially with Barry present. "I'm just going to stay here tonight."

"Okay. You know I don't mind." Joe gave her a caring smile. She stood there for a moment, as if unsure what to do. She adjusted the strap of her overnight bag on her shoulder.

Barry took a step closer. "Do you need to talk about it?"

She looked at him as if he'd suggested they rob a bank together. "No, I'm fine." She headed upstairs to her old bedroom. When Barry and Joe got upstairs, her door was shut tight. It looked so familiar. They shared a concerned look, then each man headed to his own room.

The next day after work Barry went to see his father again. He knew it would be hard after the last time, but he also knew it was important. His dad deserved better than a hollowed-out son asking painful questions. He smiled as Henry sat down, even though the extra age on his father's face still bothered him.

"Barry, our last talk really worried me. Are you sure you're okay? Talk to me."

Barry smiled again, this time for real. "I'm fine, Dad. Sorry about last time. I was, uh, dealing with a lot of ghosts. I'm better now."

"Ghosts, huh? I guess you've earned your fair share." Henry stared at his son, checking to see if he really was better. What he saw must have reassured him, because he relaxed somewhat.

Barry was staring at Henry too. He couldn't shake the memory of his father laughing and happy in the other timeline. Especially when Barry had regaled him with stories of his adventures as the Flash…

He tried to push away the memory, but realized that was exactly what he shouldn't be doing with the happy times he'd received from his time travel. Take the good. Leave the bad.

Barry's head came up as an idea occurred. "Hey Dad, um, have I ever told you about the really old obscure comic books I found?"

Henry's face was priceless. He looked spectacularly confused. "Um, no…" He waited to see what Barry's point could possibly be.

Barry leaned forward, slightly breathless with excitement, but well aware their visiting sessions were monitored. "Well, they're all about this guy who gets super powers. He can suddenly go really fast, and he uses that to fight crime and help people. He's called, um, The Ruby Racer." He stared at his father with a meaningful look.

Understanding dawned in Henry's eyes. He choked out a laugh. "That's a bit of an odd name, you'd think a comic book company could come up with a better moniker than that."

Barry laughed too. "Yeah, well that's why he's obscure and didn't last long. These comics were really rare. It could be so much worse, like the Scarlet Streak or something. You want to hear about one of his adventures?"

Henry's eyes were gleaming. "Yes I do!"

Barry grinned. "Okay. Well, the guy's name is…Larry…Larson. And he's been in love with I-um- rene…Irene, for most of his life. But he never told her. So when he gets his powers and starts using them, she becomes very fascinated and starts to write…newspaper articles about him without knowing it's him. So you can imagine this is a little strange…."

It was the most amazing thing. Barry recounted several stories. Henry's face lit up as he listened. Barry was very careful to omit important details and make sure nothing sounded too much like actual events that were known. But Henry understood what Barry was doing. He was leaning forward on his elbows, phone clutched to his ear. He laughed out loud each time Barry told him the villain's name.

"Steelman? The Gasmaster? Really, these names could be so much better."

Barry laughed. "If my friend was naming them, they'd be pretty awesome. He's so much better at it. The comic book company would have loved him."

Henry leaned further toward the glass, if that was possible. "Tell me what happens next."

The weight lifted off for good as Barry's chest filled with happiness.

Henry looked like an eager six year old once more.