Happy Monday! Enjoy a chapter before the angst sets in with tomorrow's episode! :) I enjoyed this chapter.
Things are moving along, and I foresee things wrapping up in the near future for this fic.
Hopefully tomorrow's ep won't send me spiraling, lol. No seriously, I'll be okay.
Thanks for the wonderful reviews and support! You guys are awesome! :) *hugs*
Shout out to guests toptadz, KyannaLashae and Guest! :)
Chapter 17
The next evening Barry spent a ridiculous amount of time deciding between the three suit jackets he owned.
He told himself this was nothing. He told himself that it was just a favor for his best friend. Nothing to read into. It wasn't a date, and it didn't mean anything.
But her last words still rang in his head. And everything in him felt like there was a huge emphasis on this dinner. He just didn't know what was being emphasized.
He was changing his tie for the third time when Joe poked his head in the door. He took in Barry's anxious expression and the pile of suit coats and ties on the bed.
"Whaat's going on?" Joe stepped into the room.
Barry heaved a sigh, still working on his tie. "Nothing. I mean, maybe something, no it's nothing."
Joe rolled his eyes. "Well that makes things so much clearer. Aren't you just going to dinner with Iris? You're taking longer to decide what to wear than you did on that first date with Linda, and believe me you almost got shot that night." Joe shifted the pile of clothing on the bed and sat down.
Barry looked down and realized he had tied his tie into a granny knot. He growled as he unknotted it and prepared to start over. Joe caught his eye as he looked into the mirror. It was clear from Joe's expression that he expected a more detailed explanation. He let the tie hang around his neck and turned to face Joe.
"Things feel…different. I can't explain it. This should mean nothing. It's not a date. But something she said sounds like the other timeline, and sometimes I swear I catch her looking at me…I just don't know anymore. Am I crazy?"
Joe pursed his lips together and blew out a breath, taking some time to think. Keeping secrets was a complicated thing. He had promised to be truthful, but this was far more delicate than Barry having super powers. He was not wading into this. "Look, I don't know what's going to happen and neither do you. Just take it easy, tread lightly, and play it cool. You do not want a repeat of Christmas."
Barry nodded. "You're right. I know."
Joe clapped him on the shoulder. "If it's meant to happen, it will happen. Just see how it goes." He took in the crumpled mess around Barry's neck that was his current tie. "And please, choose a different tie."
Barry managed a small laugh.
Once Barry got a new tie on and tied correctly, Joe forbade him to change again and escorted him to the door. Since Barry had allotted himself a huge amount of time to prepare, he found himself early for once. He didn't want to ruin his hair and clothes so he decided against running laps around the city to kill time. He debated waiting outside before going to Iris's door but the curious neighbors persuaded him to just be early. Iris would be amazed, and hopefully it would help diffuse the date-like feeling. But he still found himself combing his hair back to make sure he hadn't ruffled it while running and straightening his jacket and tie. He felt far more nervous than his first date with Linda. Which was ridiculous, he told himself, because this wasn't a date.
He spent a solid minute trying to decide how to knock on the door. Casual. Be casual. How did one knock casually? Finally he gave up and knocked. In reality it was probably fine. To him, it sounded like he was pounding.
Iris opened the door with one hand holding an unfastened earring to her earlobe. "You're early! That's a first!"
Barry laughed slightly as he stepped in. "I know, it's unprecedented." He turned as she shut the door, and they both really looked at each other for the first time that night.
Iris took in Barry in his suit and tie, realizing that her best friend was really attractive. His lean form looked lithe and muscular in the dark colors, and the tie he wore was dark red. Iris already knew Barry looked good in red, but tonight he really did. She started to wonder if this had been a bad idea.
Similarly, Barry already knew his best friend was beautiful. But tonight she came under the category of smoking hot. Completely by accident, her dress was dark red. It accented her skin and hair perfectly. He realized his mouth was open and closed it, resisting the urge to check for drool. He gave her a half-smile.
"You look amazing."
The last time he'd said that to her she'd rolled her eyes as she ate his fries. Tonight she seemed to realize he meant every word.
"Thanks." She sounded slightly breathless. "You do too. Um, I still need to finish getting ready. I'll be just a few more minutes."
"Sure, no problem." He watched as she quickly disappeared into her bedroom, and then turned to take in the living room.
He had clearly caught her unprepared. Her ipod was in its dock, halfway through a playlist of some of her favorite songs. A slow gentle tune was playing at the moment. Barry glanced at a few new pictures on the walls and some new décor that had been added. Iris was settling into her new home very well.
More to take his mind off the coming evening than anything else, Barry wandered to the window. It was a main feature of the room, large and plate glass. He could see the tops of trees and the cityscape in the distance. He stood at an angle with his hands in his pockets, looking over the nearby downtown area. The sun was setting but it wasn't quite dark yet. He noted several landmarks. One was slightly hidden due to the surrounding trees, but when the lights kicked on for the evening he realized what he was looking at.
The fountain was the same, beautiful with lights. The park was lit up for the evening. Barry could just barely see the brick pavers in front of the fountain where they had danced. He hadn't realized until now just how close her apartment was to that park.
Barry stared at it. Memories had gotten easier over time, but this one hit hard. He remembered the joy of that evening, and realized that as much as he tried to squash it, that relationship was something he still desperately wanted. He still loved her. So much.
The other timeline hadn't felt this close in a while. He could feel it all around him, enveloping his senses. Or maybe that was just the music. Too late, he realized what song had come up on the playlist. The lyrics drifted over Barry, anchoring him in place.
I put diamonds on my promises
So you know that they will stay
And on your finger is where my vow will live
So you can see it every day
It's all for love
It's all for love
I will do anything
For your love
His hands clenched in his pockets, one of them searching for rings that weren't there.
Iris emerged ready to go, but one look at Barry made her rethink speaking to him. He was standing in front of her window looking into the distance. His hands were in his pockets. He cut an elegant figure framed there. She stepped closer. He didn't notice.
His body was angled so that she could easily see his profile and expression. And it was that expression that made her pause and approach him cautiously.
He looked far away. He had a look on his face she had never seen before. It reflected hopeless, helpless longing. A deep unrequited need. Something broke inside her, seeing him that way. She lightly touched his arm.
"Barry?"
His head shifted to look at her. Their eyes met. He couldn't rearrange his face to hide what he was feeling.
And the funny thing was, neither could she.
His eyes slid down to the necklace she was still wearing, even when dressed up for dinner. Her mother's wedding ring shone gold against the luster of her skin. His eyes moved back up to hers and he could see by the look in them that she knew exactly what he was looking at.
The next verse was already filling the room. The words fell over them both gently.
I carry your story
Wherever I may go
Cause I know it will be mine
Until the end of time
Even if we disagree
Know I'll still be on your side
The song reverted to the chorus. They kept looking at each other. Barry's eyes were almost pleading, asking her a desperate question. Iris simply couldn't withhold the answer from him. Wordlessly she let her feelings show.
His breath hitched in his chest. His hand reached for hers. They were only vaguely aware of the third verse as the song continued.
Give you my hand
I'll give you all I've saved for
Through all the joy and all the disappointment
And you alone will be the one I live for
It's all for love
It's all for love
I will do anything for your love
It's all for love
It's all for love
I will do anything for my love
I will do anything for your love
The final strains of the song faded away, and neither heard the one that came on next. But it was enough to break their wordless communication. Iris finally tore her eyes away from his to look down at their hands. Their fingers were intertwined, close and intimate.
Her emotions were so close to the surface that she couldn't hide anything that she was feeling, which was why she couldn't hide the fear that crept over her face. She gently separated their hands and moved away, sitting on the couch. She looked deeply distressed. She buried her face in her hands.
Barry remained at the window, trying to figure out what had just happened. He knew her feelings weren't faked. But that meant her pulling away wasn't either. He debated on his next move.
No words had been said. It was entirely possible they could sweep the entire incident under the rug and then continue on as they always had. Best friends and nothing more.
But if he did, he would never know if that look meant what he hoped it did. And if he pursued it, things might not turn out as he hoped. He'd been bit by that many times, even before time travel. He teetered on the edge, undecided. Iris lifted her face from her hands and pressed them to her chin, staring at a point on the floor.
In the end, it was the look on her face that decided him. It was hurting, torn and fearful. And it was heartbreaking to him.
The last whisper from the past was desperate and pleading as his fiancée's face rose up in his memory. Iris clutching his jacket, face turned up to his.
"Fight for me. Fight for me, Barry!"
As always, he couldn't refuse her.
He slowly moved to the couch as well, sitting on the far end to give her space. The silence was blaring, rife with unspoken words and emotions. He could tell she was tense and on guard. He laid his head back on the back of the couch, sliding down to accommodate his height. He looked incredibly non-threatening as he rolled his head her way. He kept his voice the same, gentle and soft.
"Why are you afraid to admit you have feelings for me?"
She froze for a moment, giving him a look like a deer in headlights. Her mouth opened silently. Finally it just came flowing out, her voice never rising above a desperate whisper.
"Because! It's you Barry! It's you! Even when I started dating Eddie I was afraid of it at first, because I might lose it or screw it up. And look, I did! But this is you. You're my best friend, and we grew up together. What if it doesn't work out? What if we break up? Then I lose my boyfriend and my best friend all at once. I can't lose you, Barry. Not again. What would we do about holidays then? We are your family, but then things would be awkward every time we get together! So then you lose your family too, again. And Dad and I lose ours! There is too much riding on this!" She stopped to draw breath, blinking to hold tears back.
His face had changed as she talked. He gave her a look of deep empathy as he slid closer.
"You're scared. I can understand that. I've been scared for years. But what you don't know is that we can never lose each other. I will always fight for you. And you will always fight for me."
He reached for her hand again, sliding even closer. In spite of her misgivings, she gave it to him. He kept talking as he raised both of their hands and placed them together, palm-to-palm between them.
"Relationships take work, but we'll fight for each other. We always have and we always will. We are meant to be together. And it will last forever."
As she watched, he tipped his hand slightly to one side and slid his fingers between hers. They curled over the back of her hand. Unbidden, hers did the same. Their hands were clasped together again, fingers intertwined. He waited.
She looked at their hands. Light and dark together, they looked like two halves of a perfect whole. They looked and felt so right.
"How do you know?" Her voice was soft, trembling and unsure.
He smiled. "Don't you remember? I can see the future."
She looked at their hands again, and then deep into his eyes. They were filled with emotion and confidence. They overflowed with happy laughter, quiet talks, and even some arguing. But always them fighting for each other. Barry's eyes reflected a lifetime of the two of them together.
He really could see their future.
And for just a moment, she could see it too. Peace and excitement settled over her. A smile curved her lips.
"Okay." She whispered.
His eyes lit up. He smiled back.
"It's about time." He whispered as he leaned closer.
They had kissed many times in the other timeline, but all of those seemed to fade in Barry's mind, driven away by the excitement of this first kiss. Iris leaned in as well, swept by emotion so strong everything else she may have felt before paled in comparison.
Their lips met. Their hands were still clasped together between them. Iris wondered if her couch might catch fire from the sparks that had to be flying. Electricity ran up her back in a frisson of surprising excitement. Barry's lips were soft and gentle, but full of emotion. Passion and tenderness intermingled as their hands separated and Barry's moved to her face, gently cradling it. Hers moved to his shoulders, then his neck, then into his hair.
When they pulled apart at last, they were both breathing faster than usual. Barry's cheeks were flushed. Iris could feel a slight trembling in her limbs. In between breaths, they smiled at each other with nervous anticipation.
"Do you still want to go to dinner?" Barry's voice was slightly hoarse. Iris couldn't hold back an affectionate smile. She smoothed his tie.
"Yes. You look too nice to waste it."
His face looked slightly incredulous, as if he'd never expected to hear her say something like that to him. A huge smile spread across his face.
"I could say the same about you." He punctuated his statement with a quick kiss to tide him over, then stood up and offered her his hand. Excited but still a bit nervous, she took it and stood up. He waited while she smoothed her dress, then shut off the music and grabbed her tiny handbag and keys.
As they headed for the door Barry realized he was missing crucial details of the evening. "How are we getting there?"
Iris laughed. "I got my car back today. I'm driving. I spent ten minutes on my hair, I'm not going to ruin it by letting you run me there."
Barry nodded. "Fair enough." He waited until they were in the hallway to speak again. "So is this still just a dinner together as best friends or our first date?"
Iris finished locking the door then turned to him. One hand still on the doorknob, she gave him an arch look, raising her eyebrows. "Why can't it be both?"
Barry's grin was gigantic by now. "No reason. No reason at all."
Iris driving them on their first date should have threatened Barry's masculinity, but it seemed perfectly normal for them. The atmosphere was a strange combination of comfortable and nervous excitement. They restricted conversation in the car to events of their day and other harmless subjects. But when they arrived Barry insisted on opening her door for the first time ever. Iris rolled her eyes but looked very pleased. He offered her his arm and she slid hers through with casual grace. That motion had been done a thousand times before but had never felt quite like this.
The restaurant was definitely swanky. As they entered and waited to be seated, Barry glanced down at Iris and felt his chest swell. He had been thanked for deeds as the Flash and listened to policemen describe him as a hero. He had been cocky at apprehending criminals and happy to help average people. But he had never felt so proud as he did that moment, walking in with Iris West on his arm. She glanced up at him and smiled, and his heart skipped a beat.
As they were led to their table Barry noted the small dance floor in the middle of the room. There was a string quartet playing quietly next to it. Barry had never been anywhere quite this impressive.
Their table was tiny and set in a corner. It was perfect as far as Barry was concerned. As they waited for their drinks a small silence set in. Iris was looking for the right place to put her handbag. Barry straightened his silverware meticulously. A giggle from the other side of the table alerted him that he was being observed.
"Barry Allen, are you nervous?"
"Maybe." He gave her a sheepish smile across the table.
She leaned forward, as if she had a great secret to share. Barry leaned in too.
"Good. I need to keep you on your toes." Her eyes were twinkling.
Barry laughed. He gestured to the dance floor. "Want to dance?"
Her mouth opened in surprise. "I thought you didn't dance."
"I only dance on very special occasions."
"Are you going to step all over my toes like you did at Junior Prom?"
"I'm a little bit better on my feet nowadays." He reassured her with a wink. He stood up and moved to her chair. "Shall we?"
His confidence was new but familiar. She had seen this part of him on the rooftop at Jitters and an alleyway where she'd snapped a picture of the Flash. It was her best friend but such a different side of him. Just like before she couldn't help but find it a bit exciting. She felt her pulse speed up as she gave him her hand and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor.
Neither of them had ever had formal dance lessons of any sort, so they were restricted to the basic hold each other and sway type of dancing. But neither minded at all. Barry's hand settled on her back, and hers went to his shoulder. Hands came together of their own accord. Iris had to look up to see Barry's face due to their height difference, and when she did she was surprised to find him already looking at her. Their eyes locked for a moment.
"What?" Barry's voice was soft.
"Nothing, I just thought you'd be staring at your feet."
He grinned at her, highly amused. "I guess a few things have changed since high school."
"A few things? Please, Barry. Everything has changed."
"Not everything. Some things never change, Iris. Never."
Iris forgot to breathe for a moment. Looking at his face, she realized he had truly meant what he'd told her at Christmas. He had loved her all his life. She wondered how she'd never realized it, and why they both were so stupid to wait so long before saying anything. She should have told him how she felt far before his coma, but very real fear of ruining the way things were between them had held her back. She could see in his eyes he had been in the exact same position. She gave him a reassuring smile.
"Maybe some things are meant to be, and there's no use fighting them." She could hear his breath catch as she shifted her hand and laced her fingers through his. His hand gently squeezed hers. She moved closer and laid her head on his chest as they swayed.
They were halfway through their main course when Barry looked up to see Iris deep in thought, one hand holding her fork idle on her plate. Doubt crept in, even as he tried to push it away.
"Do…do you wish you were here with Eddie?" He almost choked on the words.
Her eyes popped wide. "No! No, Barry…" she reached for his hand across the table. He slid his across to meet hers. "No, I don't wish I was here with Eddie. I wanted to come with you, that's why I asked. No I was just thinking…about that night that you and Tony fought."
"Really, why?" The crinkle between his brows formed again.
"The Reverse Flash mentioned it to me that night. He said that was the first time you broke the sound barrier?" Iris was glad their table was farther away from the others so they wouldn't be overheard.
"Yeah. It was." Barry was still trying to see what her point was, she could tell.
"He said it was because I was in danger. Me specifically."
"It was. I mean, I had never attempted it before, and Cisco was pretty sure that could compromise Tony's steel ability, but I'd never run that fast until then and I needed to… I needed to beat him." Barry was avoiding her gaze slightly, as if the emotions it called up were too intense. Iris realized how different that night must have been. Instead of saving anonymous strangers, he'd been trying to protect his best friend. The woman he loved. Her hand squeezed his. The same one he'd broken punching Tony. His eyes met hers again.
"Barry, how could he know that? I'm pretty sure you'd have noticed the Reverse Flash hanging around watching, and that story never came out in the news with that much detail. My blog didn't even specify you broke the sound barrier. And he said it was the first time. How did he know that?"
Barry stared at her, his brain running in circles. "I- I don't know how he could know that. I mean, he shouldn't know that…" His voice faded away as a cold chill ran down his spine. His adversary knew way too much. He always did. How did he know so much?
"Barry, we need to figure out who he is and what he wants, or he might get what he wants and I'm guessing that's bad for us. We need to get working on this."
Barry nodded. "You need to talk to Joe. He's been working my mother's murder. And he brought Cisco in on it. You guys need to compare notes and work together. I'll do whatever I can."
She nodded. Thoughts of Harrison Wells and Mason's obsession with him came to the forefront of her mind, but she knew how much Barry looked up to him and didn't want to cause major waves tonight. Not when they were having such a nice time together.
She squeezed his hand again, drawing his attention away from the Reverse Flash and back to her. "Barry, I don't still wish I was with Eddie. He's a great guy. But he's not you. I don't wish I were here with him instead. Eddie just helped us get here."
Barry could only imagine the look on Eddie's face if he heard that. "Helped us?"
"Okay, when I got on the waiting list yes I was supposed to come with Eddie, but life had something better planned. I didn't know it, but I had to wait. I don't regret that now. It all fell into place. Sometimes we just have to wait for things."
His eyes met hers with a wondering surprise. The look on his face was one of speculation and suspense as he spoke. "I don't like waiting."
She giggled, her eyes shining at him, her fingers still laced through his. " I knew you were going to say that."
He huffed out genuine laughter, full of incredulous gratitude. It felt like time had finally decided to give rather than take. He pushed down emotions that rose to the surface and realized Iris was right.
Waiting was so much better then never.
When they finally returned to Iris's apartment that night they lingered outside the door. Before now Barry would have wandered in as a best friend would before heading home. But this time it was a best friend/first date thing, and he felt far more formal than usual.
Iris seemed to feel the same, because she stopped at the door once she had unlocked it. She seemed unsure about what to do next. Barry realized he didn't want to be invited in. Just knowing they were going in the right direction was enough. He could wait. So Barry took the lead.
"Can I ask for a favor now? As your best friend?" He was still holding her hand.
"Sure…" The word was slower and slightly unsure.
"Can I take you on a second date?" He looked eager and excited.
"Yeah…I'd like that." They smiled at each other, so much that they didn't move for a moment. Finally Iris broke the spell. "So, if you can see the future, does it still look the same as it did before?"
"Oh no. It's much better. We are still best friends, though." His look promised that they were that and so much more.
Iris smiled slowly, having no idea how it made his blood pressure skyrocket. "The future still doesn't sound so bad. In fact, I think it does sound better than before." She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips, which he eagerly returned. It was soft and sweet and the perfect ending to the night. She gave his hand one last squeeze and turned to go in. Just like last time, she gave him a smile over her shoulder as she did.
Just like last time, she leaned against the door on the other side.
Just like last time, he stood motionless in the hallway for several minutes.
But unlike last time, she was breathless with happiness and excitement.
And his grin was huge before exhilaration took over and he sped out of the building, trailing golden lightning in his wake. A loud whoop echoed through the neighborhood.
Barry had just stepped in the front door when Joe popped out of the kitchen like a jack in the box.
"Well?"
Barry's huge grin was answer enough.
"Are you telling me you two have admitted you have feelings for each other? Finally?"
Barry's face was suddenly shocked. "What? Iris has feelings for me? And you knew? Why didn't you tell me?"
Joe opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He looked utterly trapped. Secrets were such a pain in his butt. But before he could figure out what to say the gut-busting laughter coming from Barry interrupted his frantically circling brain.
"Oh man! You should see your face!" Barry dissolved into laughter again. He had to lean over the couch to stay upright.
Joe's face settled into annoyed amusement. "Really? I take you in and raise you, and you pull something like that on me? This is the thanks I get?"
Barry tried hard to quell his laughter, but it was no use. Happiness and relief were built up inside of him, and he couldn't hold them in any longer. "Sorry. I'm sorry Joe, I couldn't resist." He wiped a tear away as he said it, which didn't convince Joe of his sincerity at all.
"Uh-huh. You know you live in my house again, maybe I'll start grounding you again."
Barry's laughter finally subsided, concluding with a small-hiccupped giggle. "You can't do that, I have to take Iris out for a second date. You don't want to get in the way of your daughter's happiness."
Joe's eyes narrowed in a threatening way, even as he laughed. "Nice. Well played."
Barry nodded, a silly grin still on his face. He headed for the stairs and bed. Joe followed him up, slapping Barry on the shoulder.
"You realize if you hurt my daughter I will have to kill you."
There was a tiny silence on the stairs.
Barry was suddenly utterly serious. "I would never hurt her, Joe."
"Good." Joe held his fierce father gaze for a moment before it started to crack. Both men burst into laughter again.
"Nice, Joe."
"I could barely get that one out without laughing first! I think Iris could still kick your skinny butt, and the idea of you breaking up with her-"
The sound of hysterical laughter from both men floated down the stairs. There was a thump, then another, and Barry and Joe were sitting on the stairs.
"I can't breathe!" Barry's voice was weak and tiny. Finally their laughter faded away, followed by amiable silence.
Joe turned his head to look at Barry. "Seriously, Bear. She's my little girl. You need to be so good to her."
Barry nodded. "All I ever want is for her to be happy, Joe. I'll always try to make her as happy as she makes me."
Joe nodded. "As long as that's what she wants too."
Barry gave him a concerned look, suddenly scared as irrational fear moved in. "Do you think she wouldn't?"
Joe shoved him with a shoulder. "Did I say that? What did I say about the universe? After all the work it put in to get you two together? Nah. Just don't ever take it for granted. I think you two will be just fine."
Barry smiled as he thought back on their evening. She made him so happy.
"Thanks, Joe."
Again, the song in this chapter is For Your Love by Josh Record. I own nothing. Go listen to it, it's beautiful. Gold star to anyone who can name what episode of The Flash it was used in! (Yes, there is a method to my madness.) :D