"Class dismissed. You may go, now".
And with that, she went away, her grip on me released. I landed softly on my feet, and everybody cheered me. They were all blown away by what they had just witnessed, and asked me hundreds of questions. But I could not think about anything else but her. So I ran away too, not exactly knowing where I could go.
Chapter 4. Frustration.
Even now, I perfectly remember how deeply confused I was. Because I could feel it: something powerful was linking me to Regina. More powerful than destiny, it felt like fate. I just knew it. And weirdly enough, I knew she felt it, too. When I told this to Ruby, she laughed at me, though. She would not believe it. And honestly? How could she? It was nonsense. Even for me. I had never believed in love, ever before. I was convinced that it was a human invention, condemned to just fade away with time. That no love could be eternal. But what I felt for Regina did not feel like love. It felt like everything. And I did not even know the woman. I really cannot describe it; I still do not comprehend it. I could not understand something I had always been so sure could not exist.
But anyway. Days passed. The lessons were disturbing. Regina would avoid eye contact all the time. She would not fight against me anymore. I tried to stop thinking about her. I was overwhelmed with my feelings. I had never been the type of girl who could easily fall for someone. And I was not the type of girl who enjoyed feeling dependant. I considered myself a free spirit and I intended to keep it that way. And Red helped me. She thought the "fate thing" was pushing it too far. She made me think I was thinking crazy... that it was laughable. And it did not take long to persuade myself that I was exaggerating. I could not help the attraction, but I was able to control myself. My blood was burning every time I was near her, but my brains were in control and extinguished the impression quite well.
My powers grew nonetheless. And I knew she was observing me very closely and discretely. That was her job after all. It took me two weeks to control my transporting power and two others to master the picturing one. The cryokynesism was not a problem. I also discovered that I could move the object that I had just frozen. It took only a little more concentration. I had difficulties controlling that, though.
But I was bored. I do not mean to brag here, trust me, but there was no challenge. Nobody was strong enough to measure me. And the only one who could have would not. It was frustrating. And soon, I stopped going to her lessons. She did not make any comment. I would still go with Ruby, of course. And we were having tons of fun. She threw very big objects to me (her strength actually amazed me) and would tell me what to do while throwing them. Once, she even asked me to transform a table into birds. And I was the first surprised when I succeeded. When I looked at Regina to check if she had seen it, her gaze was averted. But her eyebrows were frowned. And her expression was concerned. It made me want to hug her. I looked back at Ruby who was looking at me knowingly. She came by my side, smiled and hugged me lightly, kissing my cheek. I smiled back at her. She then said "let's go", took my hand, and we exited the room. I did not look back. If I had, I would have seen her gritting her teeth and clenching her fists.
It had been six weeks since we last spoke. Killian and Neal were both hitting on me... and I must admit, I really needed to take my mind off of her. So once or twice, I might have got out of control with them. They were not really my type, I was clearly into girls... but they were a descent enough distraction. And it was all I needed. This had awoken a sort of competition between the two of them – which I had found very entertaining given that I could not care less about these guys. Neal seemed to have the upper hand, most of the time. They were both wanderers, and he obviously mastered it better than Killian. They got used to assisting the Friday lessons to be with me and tried to impress me – miserably failing, of course. Regina did not even seem to notice the fact that they did not attend the right courses.
It was during that Friday that things changed and I realised important matters I had considered frivolous before. The big news of the day was about Cora Mills. She was the new ruler of the magical world. A sort of President of magical people. Her role was to give us guidance and punish those who would not respect our rules. It was not lost for anyone that Regina was her daughter. And the latter seemed not particularly thrilled of her mother's success. So it's a rather pissed off Regina Mills who entered the room that day. Everybody went silent, and she simply said (not even lifting her head as she sat):
"You know what to do. Groups of two. Proceed."
The fights started. Ruby and I were laughing as usual. And as usual, Neal and Killian were trying to defeat each other. Suddenly, a guy named Philippe laughed at them. He was a talener (he could throw stakes with the palm of his hands to be precise). My two suitors asked what was so funny and Philippe answered:
"Always fighting each other, but what if you tried a talener? Are you that frightened to be proven weaker than us?"
Peter approached them, smirking too. I did not like that sort of competition between taleners and wanderers, but I remained silent, simply watching. I failed to notice that most of the students actually were – and that included Regina. Neal and Killian looked at each other, clearly not happy with teaming up against Philippe and Peter.
"Look guys, we have some issues we have to settle down here, but maybe next time" answered Neal, annoyed.
"You chicken". This time, Philippe was truly making fun of them. And it was not in a gently teasing way. Killian lifted his wand at the exact moment Philippe threw a stake at them. The wooden pick disappeared. And another one was sent at them alongside with a chair thrown by Peter. The fight began. It was quite impressive. Just as some would think that the taleners were winning, the wanderers would make their way through it and take control. Eventually Peter succeeded to disarm Killian thanks to the distraction Philippe was causing to the boys. The wand disappeared and Neal was alone against the two taleners, which led to his loss. The taleners and shape-swingers cheered for the winners, whilst the wanderers remained quiet. Philippe kept on humiliating them. And then he said:
"You should choose your lovers more wisely, Emma".
Ruby threateningly growled at that and they stopped laughing. I was not even surprised that the guy knew about them. Of course, Neal and Killian would not remain discrete about it. But that had been said loudly, in front of Regina, and I was mortified. I could not help but look at her. She had stiffened, which meant she had clearly heard what Philippe had said. And finally she was looking at me. She did not seem betrayed or anything. She simply stared at me, furious. She was jealous. By the time I realised it, she had stood up – which was a good thing; I would probably have smirked otherwise.
"Nice fight, guys. Do you remember what you told me at your first lesson, Mr Cassidy?"
"That stupid accidents would not happen to wanderers?" he answered angrily.
"Precisely." She smirked. "A talener is very powerful, and the source of his power resides inside of him. Depending on another object is a weakness. And life must have taught you that already, students; but dependence is a weakness."
I was fairly positive that her speech was addressed to me. But I focused on Neal's reactions. First it would make her even more jealous; and second I was genuinely interested in what he was going to reply. He was clearly not pleased with her statements, and believed wands were a higher level of magic.
"You just had the proof that taleners will always have a huge advantage on wanderers" Regina kept on.
"But you forget one thing, Professor." Burst out Neal "We can do any type of magic with our wands"
"And yet, any type of magic did not help you master wooden sticks, and flying chairs" despicably answered Regina.
Neal was fuming. I could feel his rage emanating from him. Regina held up her hand, and the two wands materialized. I was truly impressed with her abilities. I had no idea how she could have done that. She then said:
"I have not convinced you, my dear. What do you think about that: all wanderers present here having a fight with one and only talener?"
"Would that talener be you?" asked Killian amused.
"It would not, I am your teacher, and I am here to observe your progresses. So no... that talener would be Emma."
She challengingly looked at me. She was trying to punish me. Or make me defeat the boys so that they would feel humiliated by me. Either way, I did not want to comply.
"I am sorry, Professor. But I would surely not be powerful enough to win. There is no point in fighting here, it would clearly be unfair. Plus, I tend to agree with Neal: they don't have the same magic, and they depend on their wands, but it doesn't mean that they're less powerful than us." I turned to the two guys "Seriously, your magic is impressive, and I would have loved to be a wanderer" I smiled at them.
They smiled back at me, radiant. On the contrary, Regina was infuriated. Nevertheless, unlike Neal, she was a good actress, and did not show it. But I could see her rage in her eyes, and feel it rushing in her veins as if it were in mine. She remained silent. Students did not. My words had just created the biggest polemic I had ever witnessed up until now.
"Yeah, sure... you would have loved to be a wanderer, but you're still glad you're not, aren't you?" laughed Peter.
"Of course she is! She would not exchange her powers for anything!" added Aurora.
"Oh please, it's great to have a wand that can do anything we want" countered Grumpy.
"You're just jealous is all" said angrily Killian.
And it went on and on for several minutes. But Regina and I never stopped fixing each other. I could see her anger, frustration, resignation and so many other things I was experiencing myself. Eventually, she broke the eye-contact and asked for silence.
"I can see you are all disagreeing. I think you understood my point of view on the matter. The best way to make you understand it would be for me to fight the most skilled wanderer."
"And why would you affront him or her?" scornfully asked Neal.
"Because I am the most powerful talener, dear."
"Emma seems also pretty strong to me" said Peter.
"As a matter of fact, she is." Regina admitted. "Would you like to see a dual between us?"
So much to try to stop thinking of her. At this point, I could not tear my eyes away from her. I could feel my blood rushing to my heart, and I knew I would not be able to forget her, after that.
"We both know you would win, Professor." I said.
"Class dismissed. Miss Swan, we need to talk."
Her tone was royal and imperative. My desire to fly away from her was huge. But I evidently could not. So I sat on the first chair I saw, and waited for the students to be gone. Ruby looked at me concerned, but I did not see her, focusing on Regina.
My professor was not looking at me. She simply went back to her desk and pretended to look at her phone. I did not know what she was about to tell me, and it was putting me on edge. I was afraid of her, afraid of my feelings, and more importantly, afraid of the reactions I could have, depending on what she was about to say.
When we finally were alone in the room, she looked at me. Like, really looked at me. Her eyes were piercing me, as if she was trying to read my soul, which she was most certainly trying to do. The anger was gone, but she seemed annoyed. Her gaze lowered to my mouth for a second, and it did not escape me. She greeted her teeth.
"I noticed your powers have grown."
Not quite the topic I was expecting.
"They have." I waited for her to add something, but nothing came right away. She simply kept on expectantly glaring at me. Suddenly, the door opened, and a man I had never seen before came in. He was tall, brown curly hair, and brown eyes. To be fair, he was quite handsome, actually.
"Graham. May I introduce you to Emma Swan. She's the talener I have spoken to you about. Miss Swan, this is Graham, a shape-swinger and a talener."
So here he was. That Graham I had heard so much about. I could not help the jealousy burning.
"Emma, it's a pleasure to meet you."
I did not answer anything, and simply nodded at him, my eyes returning instantly on Regina.
"I would like you to train together, under my supervision. Graham, you are in your fifth year, and I think it will be interesting for both of you". Her tone was neutral. My feelings were not.
I did not know what to answer, so I stood up and waited. Graham turned to her, whispering:
"Regina, I need to talk to you about something first."
It infuriated me. So I acted foolishly, pretending not to have heard a thing. I started the fight. The chair I had been sitting on, flew violently towards him, and without Regina's intervention, it would have hit him. With a flick of her whist, it crashed on the wall. She warningly glared at me.
"What? You asked for a fight!" I defensively said.
Graham seemed shocked. He surely was not used to that kind of thing.
"Oh please, don't tell me you're scared" I laughed at him.
I wanted to provoke him, to seethe my jealousy. I was not even denying it. I knew why I was so angry at the guy. But I was not expecting him to look at me, smiling.
"Quite the temper, as you said", he told Regina.
"I'm still here" I replied.
"Indeed you are" purred Regina. Her voice almost made me moan, and I was not the only one affected by it, considering the way Graham looked at my professor. She stood up and went to him. She grabbed his arm and whispered something in his ear I could not hear. I do not think I have to describe my rage at that moment. You can easily imagine it by yourselves. I simply clenched my fists. She released her grasp and he nodded at her. She went back to her desk.
"Well, you shall begin now, dear."
Without even moving, the chair previously crashed in the wall, rebuilt itself, and was thrown a second time at the man. He was ready. A sort of bubble formed around him, and the chair exploded against it. I kept on throwing things at him without further results. His face did not express anything. He was waiting. I quickly understood that the bubble was not going to weaken. So I elevated him in the air. His face remained neutral. He did not try to release himself. Maybe he could not. I was getting bored by the second. Clearly the guy could protect himself, but could not do much to attack. Then, he transformed into a wolf. The surprise made me lose my grip on him. As soon as he touched the ground, he leaped to me. I tried to freeze him, but my powers did not affect him. And then I understood I would not be able to use my powers on him, in his wolf-form. He was about to reach me, when I managed to make him a human once again. And then I froze him, and ejected him toward the wall, my hand up in the air, tightening around his neck, suffocating him.
"Not really impressive, for a wolf" I coldly said.
"Enough!" Regina exclaimed.
I did not listen right away, and she made me turn to her, my hands tightened in my back, as if I were handcuffed. But I still did not release Graham.
"Enough" she repeated.
I impassively looked at her, and waited two more seconds before releasing Graham. He crushed on the floor, gasping.
"Leave us" she said. But he could not catch his breath, so with a little movement of her hand, she helped him. He seemed to breathe normally again, thanked her, and with an insistent gaze to her, he left.
"Don't tell me you're dating that." I could not help it. Childish, right? She looked at me, clearly amused. My hands were still tightened in my back.
"You seem to have even worse tastes, dear" she answered.
"I don't date them" I replied, furious she just confirmed being with Graham.
"You have pets? Funny, I did not picture you as the monkey types."
"I am not the one into animals here, Professor"
She genuinely laughed at that, and released me. Then, she slowly made her way throw the chairs' remains toward me.
"As you probably know, my mother has just been designated to be the new ruler of our world. She is looking for powerful taleners."
"And you're telling me that, because...?"
"Because she thought of me, of course. And she asked me if I knew other valuable practionners. I must say, I am very impressed by you. What you just did to Graham was... unexpected. I was wondering if you would be interested in working for our Government."
By the time she finished her sentence, she was right in front to me, almost touching me.
"Why would I be?" I weakly asked. I hated the power this woman had on me. "I just started my studies here, and I have four more years to do."
"You know as much as I do, that you do not need them. And I could help you with that, anyway. We would work together..."
My mind was having a hard time registering what Regina was offering.
"Er... you want me to work for the Government... with you?"
"I do." Her eyes were shining. I wanted so bad to touch her skin, feel her touch, smell her breath, and kiss her lips. I could have died for that. I tried to get control back.
"What is the job?" I asked, backing off. But with every step I would take backward, she would take one forward. I knew my reaction was weak. And I knew a wall would end up stopping me sooner or later. But it was either being a coward, or being a rapist...
"My mother has a very interesting point of view. She wants taleners to be reckoned. She wants them to rule us."
And there the wall was. As soon as I felt it against my back, I felt Regina's body against my front. And next thing I knew, I was grabbing her neck, bringing her impossibly closer. Her body was perfectly fitting mine, as if they had been made for one another. One of her hand was resting on my hips, the other on my neck, gently brushing it, which made my whole body shiver. My two hands were now cupping her face, and our lips were actually slightly touching. She was breathing in my mouth, as I was in hers, and the simple fact was so terribly exciting. She was playing with me, barely caressing her lips against mine, her head tilting from left to right.
"So what do you say?" she murmured.
"Uuuuuuuuuum... what?" I whispered.
She bit my lower lip, never losing the eye-contact. I tried to kiss her, but she pushed back just a little, her hand on my neck forcing me to stay still. One of my hands got lost in her hair, and I tried to bring her to me, but again, she resisted. She gasped in my face, her hand on my hips tightening, and she closed her eyes. Her forehead came resting on mine.
"Stop it", she murmured.
I could not answer to her. I could not even think anymore. I was dying to kiss her, and to caress every inch of her body. My grasp on her neck and hair frustratingly tightened. I was about to beg her to kiss me, when she freed herself from me, stepping back. She bit her lip, cleared her throat and walked away. She sat on her desk, crossed her legs, cleared her throat again, and said – unsuccessfully trying to regain composure:
"I am offering you a job, Miss Swan. What do you say?"
I had not moved an inch. I was using all my self control not to rush to her, lay her on the damn desk and... I cleared my throat as well, trying to stop my thoughts.
"What could I possibly do for the Government?"
"I am not sure about what she wants us to do... yet. But I can assure you that it will be well remunerated."
"I'd rather finish my first year..." I answered.
I did not want to give her the satisfaction of controlling me. I did not want her to feel that she indeed could control me. I wanted to show that I could resist her... just like she had done. I did not want to be her toy... or at least, not like this...
She greeted her teeth, but did not try to persuade me.
"Fine" she simply answered. And she went away. Again.
And now I was completely sure I could not stop thinking about her. Just to think that I had almost kissed her made me want to die. She stopped at the door, and turned her head to me.
"You do realize that I cannot... be with a student, right?" She paused. "But having sex with a colleague would not be such an issue..."
Well, that was pretty much straightforward.
"Really? No, Professor. I had not realised that adults couldn't be... intimate, in this school" I answered. My voice was so hoarse. Her eyes blackened.
"I am your teacher." She answered.
"You're barely older than I am."
"And I am still your teacher" she smirked.
I could not help it. I started moving to her. Her hand was still on the door handle. She stayed still, and never left my intense gaze. When I got very close, she seemed to realize what was happening, and tried to go away, but before she could, I was grabbing her wrist with one hand, and her waist with the other. She petrified. Her front was against the door and I pressed my body against her back. Then, I whispered in her ear:
"Do you always follow the rules you're given?"
She shivered so hard, I actually felt it under my fingers. My hand on her waist slowly pulled up, caressing her back, all the way up to her neck. Then I gently grabbed her hair, leaning her head on the right, to have a better access to her skin. I kissed her collarbone, which made her breathe heavily. I softly licked her neck and she moaned. I was so turned on, my core was achingly burning. When I bit her ear lobe, she begged me to stop. And her whisper could not have been more arousing. But I stopped anyway.
"Well, do you?"
We remained still. She was trying to slow her breathing, and calm down. I was just enjoying the fact that I could have this kind of power on her. I knew that she felt the same way. I smelled her hair, she stiffened, and I felt her hand tightening on the door handle. It made me smile.
"Yes, I do."
She slowly turned around, and my arms fell back on my sides; but I did not step back.
"I am your teacher" she harshly repeated. "And you will respect me accordingly".
"I was not trying to disrespect you, Professor. The fact is..." One of my hands cupped her face. "I feel very attracted to you." I moved even closer to her face and whispered "And so are you" Our lips were now brushing "Being my teacher doesn't change or stop the attraction".
She parted her lips for a second, but pushed me away, grabbing my collar.
"I will not do that as your teacher, Miss Swan. This needs to end now..."
"What if I decide to stay in school for the next four years?" I teased her, grabbing her waist.
She brought me back close to her mouth, and breathed:
"Then we will both suffer."
Once again, she bit my lower lip, and before I could register what was happening, she stormed out of the room.
The days passed, and she avoided me. During classes, she was back at ignoring me. And I could not stop thinking about her. When I was not with her, I longed for her touch. I still felt her teeth on my mouth. I still smelt her incredible breath. And when I was with her, I tried to impress her by any means. I was surely completely ridiculous. Ruby sympathized with me. She even decided to accompany me to her classes every day. But still, Regina would not look at me.
Cora Mills had been at the head of the Government for merely one month, when she passed her first draft bill. It was about creating specific schools for wanderers, in order for them to be separated from the taleners and shape-swingers. I had never seen the school like this. Everybody had their own ideas on the matter. The wanderers talked about discrimination. The taleners talked about improvement. They thought it would be beneficial for everyone. Duals broke out more and more frequently, even outside classes. Wanderers were becoming angrier and on the defensive, while the taleners were provoking and pedantic. David and Mary did not express their opinions on the matter, but Regina... well, Regina was being Regina. She clearly approved this, even though she was smarter than expressly saying it. And I could not believe that such an intelligent woman approved something like this. It reminded me of the Nazis or the racial segregation. We were back at creating castes among our kind. And it just did not feel right.
"So, this is what your mother is trying to create? This is why she needs talented taleners?" I asked Regina at the end of a class.
We were alone in the room, separated by a substantial distance – necessary for me to be able to think without being a little too... intoxicated.
"And according to you, what is my mother trying to create?" she smirked, focused on her papers.
"I don't know... maybe you can tell me"
She stopped what she was doing, and intensely looked at me.
"She is trying to improve the education system. She wants students to have their best chances."
"By separating them? And creating an insane competition between us, in the process?" I tried to remain calm. I wanted her to understand, and reassure me.
"You have to understand that I cannot be an appropriate teacher for wanderers. I have absolutely no idea of how their magic works, or how to make them control it. A separation may seem... harsh for you, but it is for the best. And our job would not be about that, Miss Swan."
"What would it be about, then?"
"I have no idea, dear" and she seemed sincere.
"Why would you take a job you know nothing about?"
She smiled, but her smile was anything but genuine. It seemed sarcastic and annoyed.
"Let's just say that one does not contradict Cora Mills."
"When will you start working for her?"
I did not want her to leave. I was desperate for her to say, but I would never confess that, of course. Even though my voice must have betrayed my feelings.
"At the end of the year."
Her tone was neutral. But her eyes were saddened. Six months. In six months she would be out of my fucking life. She added:
"Will you come with me?"
I could have died looking into her brown eyes while she asked that. She was so beautiful, it hurt. But something was off in the job she was proposing... something about Cora's Government just did not feel right, despite what Regina thought. And I was not ready to make a choice on something that would affect the rest of my life. I was not even sure I wanted to stay in the magical world, once I would be done studying. And I got the feeling that once I would be in the Government, there would be no way out...
"I can't" I answered
Her voice hardened:
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not sure I wanna work for your mother... even less when I'm not sure she's a good ruler... no offence intended, Professor"
"Some taken, Miss Swan. You do realize that a similar offer won't happen again, right?"
"Right" I answered.
She frowned, and kept looking at me. I could not tear my eyes away from hers. She deeply exhaled, stood up and left the room.