I think I am getting the hang of this. I will be posting what I have. I think I am halfway done. I'm not sure how many chapters this story will end up being. I just know It will be several.

Again...Disclaimed!

Chapter 3...

Three years later…

I finally stopped growing. Finally stop feeling the stretching and pulling of my muscles and bones. The agony of the pain that came with growing. I'm not a normal human being. Being half-vampire and half-human has a lot of disadvantages. Growing rapidly is one of them. Now at the ripe old age of seven human years, I looked seventeen going on eighteen. I have been through so much. So much I want to forget but my vampire side just does not let me.

I still think of him. It still hurts. It took a long time to finally let myself be okay to live life again but the bond I use to have with my mother is no longer there. Not the same way. I know she loves me but it seems everyone loves me because they have too. She loves me because I am her daughter. My family loves me because I'm part of their family. Jacob loved me because I was his imprint. His second choice next to mom. It's all so messed up and no one ever listens to me. Everyone seem deranged. I'm just so fucked up that I'm never going to change. My parents are always trying to tell me what to do and say. Jacob was always trying to live my life for me. My family tries to give me advise. But I don't want to live that way. I want to live how I see fit. I want to live for me. I will never be what they want me to be.

Mom tried convincing me that was not true. The pack tried convincing me that was not true. Seth tried the hardest but I knew I was forced upon them. Just as Emily was forced upon Sam.

Sam had it made with Leah. She loved him with all her heart and soul just as Jacob had loved my mom. Sam was going to marry Leah. Sam announced to his pack that he was proposing to Leah. They all waited that night for Sam and Leah to come to the beach hand in hand to celebrate their love but the spirits wouldn't let it be. He had to be bound to Emily. He had to break Leah's heart and trust. I don't blame her for hating him. I hate him. He should of fought for what he really wanted. For what really was supposed to be. But he claimed he couldn't because he had imprinted on Emily.

I remember Jacob describing the shock of it all when they spotted Sam walking hand in hand with Emily instead of Leah. And then, that same night they had to help Leah as she phased for the first time.

With her phasing, came the pain of losing Sam. Jacob said that was a rough night for everyone. I still can't believe Sam didn't have the balls to stay with Leah when he knew he wanted to. He had later admitted he still loved Leah but the pull towards Emily was too strong. So he harden his heart towards Leah and devoted himself to Emily, just like that.

Everyone wants Leah to just let it go. How could she? I empathize with her. She hates me. She thinks I'm Jacob's "Emily". I know I am. That the hardest truth to ever face. Jacob loved my mother. He would give anything to be with her. After she had me and had to be turned, he imprinted on me. Second choice. Second prize.

I wasn't having it after I learned the truth. I couldn't just accept my role as his imprint. I didn't want him to love me just because he had too. I wanted him to love me because he wanted too! He was under a spell. I had to break it so that he could finally see how harmful imprinting truly was. It was not a magical fixed or a way of finding your soulmate. My parents found each other without the help of imprinting. They both wanted each other. They both chose to be with each other. They weren't forced to be with each other like an arrangement.

That's how I see imprinting. An arrangement. No choice given to the imprinter or imprintee. They were bound for all eternity to each other because the spirits demanded it. But I found a loophole. One to save both Jacob and I from the clutched of imprinting.

Seth informed me that Jacob had to mark me. He had to inflict a wound on me with a bite in order to seal the bound forever. I couldn't let him do that. I wouldn't let him do that. Besides being too dangerous because the venom in my blood would kill my Jacob, I wanted to be with Jacob because he wanted me, not because it was demanded he be with me. So I left.

Now I'm stuck here with my family. They didn't even really wanted me. I was forced upon them. Mom didn't even want kids. She was content to live her life with dad in vampire hell without so much of a thought of having kids. She knew once she was turned she no longer had the option. She was willing to throw that away. Then she became pregnant with me while still human.

I didn't ask to be born. Some days I just wish I never existed. I don't want to die. I don't want to live. I just didn't want to be. That would save everyone the grief and burden of me. I always have to be careful. I always have to be looked after. In everyone's eyes, I am still a child. I get it. I'm only seven human years. But what no one ever takes into consideration is the maturity level of my mind, my soul. Fuck, I don't even look seven! Nothing I do is ever enough. It's never enough! Everyone is only happy with me when I just shut up and do as am told. I'll never be what they want me to be.

I can't drink human blood because I will go into a craze they say. I can't eat raw meat in public because that would raise questions. I can't be in the sun too long because even though I don't fucking sparkle like them, I still give off a shine that will attract too much attention. I can't share my secret with anyone because the stupid Volturi will make sure I don't live another day. Hmmm….there's a thought.

I thought I could share everything with Jacob. He almost had me fooled. He had always been in my life. Since the day I was born. Other than the past three years, I can't remember a day without Jacob. He was always there for me. He always played whatever games I wanted to play, dolls, tea time, make-over, anything. We would hunt together. We would hunt each other. I liked when he hunted me. It was so fun. My parents, especially my dad, always were reserved about the time I spent with Jacob. I didn't know why. At that point I didn't care. He was my Jacob and I would spent however much time I wanted to spend with him. Jacob wasn't complaining and I knew I had him wrapped around my little finger.

When I reached four human years, I had the body and hormones of a fifteen year old. If you think raging teenage hormones were bad as a regular human, try being half-vampire. When my hormones kicked in, it took everything in me not to sleep with Jacob. I loved playing hunting with him then. I would knowingly tease the shit out of him. I could tell it was taking everything in him to resist me. I would 'accidently' kiss him on the lips. He would scold me for it. I didn't care. I knew he like it. I would wear my already too small tops around him and my already too tight jeans, too. I would catch him taking a peek at me. I found every excuse in the book to sit on his lap. He found every excuse in the book not to let me.

When we would hunt I wanted him to phase in front of me but he wouldn't. There were times he had to hide from me because I would follow him just to sneak a peek. In the middle of him being a wolf, I would find ways to force him to phase back, wishing he would do so in front of me. I would promise to close my eyes but after the first time he caught me looking, he never fell for that trick again. I couldn't help but ogle at him. He was tall and muscular. So gorgeous. His beautiful body just begging to be jumped by me! And that day he caught me looking, I found out he was very well endowed! *sigh*

After that, my thoughts were always on Jacob and his 'package'. It drove my dad crazy. Being a mind-reader had its MAJOR disadvantages with a hormonal teenage daughter! Mom had to constantly shield my thoughts from him. But he knew how much I craved Jacob. He knew the depths of my longing for him.

One time, I straddled Jacob after I knew he had been eyeing me and caught him off guard. He practically jumped up and threw me off once his senses came back to him. I knew he wanted me. I could feel his bulge when I straddled him. That was when daddy decided enough was enough. I wasn't allowed to date regular human boys. Besides angering Jacob, my parents didn't think I had the restraint to resist their advances. I don't think I did either. Like I said, half-vampire teenage hormones!

Daddy made sure Jacob and I were chaperoned everywhere we went. I couldn't get a moment alone with Jake. Not even to 'accidently' kiss him. Everyone was acting suspicious around me. Like they had a secret they were not telling me. Even Jake. I hated being left in the dark. Even my grandpa wouldn't tell me. He said it was up to my mom and dad to tell me and for Jacob to explain. That made me even more curious. What does Jacob have to explain? I kept bugging my parents. It was my aunts that convinced them to tell me.

That's when I found out about the imprinting. That's when my world changed. Maybe I should not have asked. That's when mom and dad sat me down and told me the whole truth. About how I was conceived. About mom and dad. About mom and Jacob. I knew I was a burden to everyone but I didn't know how much of a burden until the truth came out. I wasn't wanted. I was forced on everyone. I forced on Jacob. I was his second choice.

After Jacob found out my parents told me everything, he wanted to explain the imprinting part. He tried his best but I think it became worse. For the first time, I realized Jacob didn't love me the way I loved him. Nope. He was forced to love me. Imprinting demanded he loved me. Than when Seth tried to explain it to me, I was more convinced I was an accident to their lives. An accident to this world. I shouldn't be. Jacob needed a chance to learn to love. Not be forced to love. He needed to see that love can be a great thing but he was so bound by the imprinting, he would not listen to me. He refused to believe that maybe I was not meant to be with him.

I'm not part of heritage. He's an alpha. He comes from a long line of alphas. He needed a full-blooded Quileute woman to truly carry on his genes. Not a half breed like me. Any child of our would never be full-blooded Quileute. Never.

I had to find a way to let him go without killing him. Apparently wolves can die without their imprint in their lives. I didn't want him to die because of me. I was not worth it. I was talking to Seth one day about this whole mess and he lets it slip that the bond was not truly set until Jacob marked me. He would not die if I left before he had a chance to mark me. That was it. The loophole I needed to let him go. To let my Jacob find a full-blooded Quileute woman to bare his children. To carry on the strong alpha gene within him. Now I knew I could let him move on without me. To be alright without me in his life.

I spoke to my family about it and they tried to convince me that I was wrong. I could tell my father was a bit relieved to find out Jacob had not 'marked' me and he had a chance to get me away from him. He was disgusted with the idea of marking. So were the rest of my family, especially Aunt Rosalie. I didn't need to be a mind-reader to know that. My Aunt Alice tried to convince me I was wrong. No one ever listens to me. Not today, not back then, not ever. This had to happen. This was to be. I would not be swayed in my decision. Besides, my family had stayed in the area dangerously too long. People were beginning to talk. We had to move. Now was the time. It was now or never.

When we were finally set to move, I took the one person with me who wanted me in their lives and always voiced it…my uncle Emmett. My big teddy bear of an uncle. He will always be my protector. He was the one person who was by my side. He understood me like no one else could…not even Jacob. So I went to Jacob the night we were leaving and I broke it off with him. He went ballistic. He wouldn't let go. Uncle Emmett wanted to yank him off but I did not let him. Although I was leaving Jacob, I didn't want him hurt. Hmph…stupid now that I think about it.

I made sure to tell Seth to bring the pack because I knew Jacob would not let me go without a fight. Seth tried to persuade me not to do this but I had to. I was living a lie with Jacob and I needed to face the truth and move on. I explained to Seth about being a half breed but he couldn't see anything wrong with it. He tried to explain by combining Jacob's bloodline with mine, we would create the strongest alphas the Quileute had ever seen. I didn't see it that way. I was a mistake and so our children would be a mistake. An abomination to this world. Just like me. I just wasn't meant to be and neither were Jacob and I. So I left. Uncle Emmett had to carry me away from that scene. Uncle Jasper had left before because he knew what state of mind I would be in and he could not handle all the emotions coming at him.

Now here we are living amongst blind, ignorant humans. Going about our daily lives. I never converse with anyone other than my Uncle Emmett. He's the only one who can get me out of my funk. I resent Uncle Jasper manipulating my moods so he never does that without my permission anymore. Not even when my parents beg him too. Him and Aunt Alice decided to live in a separate house just so Uncle Jasper can avoid my mood swings. It's okay with me. I'm a burden to them anyways. Most days I just listen to my music and play on my tablet. I help Nana Esme with remodeling and I have been honing my skills as a chef, seeing as everyone else don't eat human food. I will cook for myself. Less of a burden for everyone else.

I stay to myself. I stay out of everyone's hair. If I wasn't here, my parents could have been living a carefree life never knowing the burden of children. They try to convince me otherwise. They try every day, especially my mother but I'm not buying it. The truth has been revealed. I'm content to stay out of the way, in my room until I can find a way to leave. It is tough because every decision I make is seen by my Aunt Alice and she willingly goes blab to my parents. So until then, I'll be in my room listening to music.

Okay, I think I got hang of uploading... I just wish my laptop would stop acting stupid!