I wake up to a quiet house, which is expected but also seemingly impossible with this family. 5:30, half an hour before my dad will wake me up. I get up and go to the closet. I pick out a pair of navy skinny jeans, a blue t-shirt and black Vans. I take my lucky bracelet that my mom gave me off the nightstand and head to the bathroom.
I take a quick ten minute shower then get dressed, brushing my teeth and hair at the same time. Let me rephrase that, failing to brush my teeth and hair at the same time.
I go back into my room, closing the door behind me. My pyjamas end up shoved under my pillow with me raiding to find something to do, I spot my mascara, concealer and clear lipgloss and put them on, clearly I can't remember to do the simplest of things, so how on Earth am I supposed to help look after children? I then get out my sketch book and start finishing off random drawings.
I hear my dad blow a whistle four times and then a muffled conversation that I can't hear. That's the reason I was up at 5:30. I take this as my cue to leave.
I walk out just in time to see my dad lift Seth's mattress up, therefore dumping him on the floor. Poor Seth. He used to do that to me all the time; so now I just get up early or, if I'm running late, the whistle will be enough to make me alert.
"Dad!" I exclaim walking into the room.
"What?" He asks; dumbfound. I just roll my eyes at his response and he walks out of the room. I stand there for a minute until I realize he won't get up on a Sunday without being dragged.
"Get up!" I say.
"Hmm?" He mumbles, obviously drifting back into sleep.
"Up, sleepyhead!" I say, bending down to where he's lay on the floor.
"Why?" I'm pretty sure that's what he said.
"Because, there's no way I'm letting you sleep on the floor, besides my dad wouldn't let you, even if it did mean dragging you out."
"Fuck him," He mumbles, he's probably put a pillow in front of his face, because that sounds muffled.
"Get up! Or I might have to pour water over you."
"I'm up!"
He jumps up off the floor and yawns, stretching. I walk down stairs to see Helga making something on the stove, with Tyler in her arms.
"Would you like some help with that?" I ask her.
"No thank you, but you could hold baby."
"'Kay," I take Tyler off her and climb up onto the counter, careful not to drop him.
A couple of seconds later Seth comes down the stairs, grinning at me, followed by Zoe.
"Is your dad crazy?" Zoe says, loud enough for me to hear, but not Dad.
"Completely." Seth snorts, extremely attractive — that's sarcasm for those who don't know, but I did find it kind of cute — and Zoe laughs.
My dad comes in, while Helga takes Tyler and goes to feed him. I just zone out and stare into space.
Wait, rewind, did I just call Seth cute?
I snap out of my trance when I hear chairs moving. I see everyone but Seth line up in front of my dad, Seth goes upstairs. Maybe I should tell him. Nah.
"Tracking devices, never take them off, the panic button is for emergencies only, touch that, you'd better be dying or you are dead," He puts one on Tyler's ankle.
"I'd rather chew off my arm than wear that," Zoe pushes it away from her. "Just because my mom is paranoid, doesn't mean that we have to take orders from you."
"Let me tell you how the chain of command works; I tell you what to do, and you do it, end of chain," He takes Zoe's wrist and puts it on her. "I'm not going to have time to remember all of your names, you'll be red leader," He says pointing to Helga. "Red baby," Tyler. "Red one," Zoe. "Red..." He moves on to Lulu and puts one on her wrist. "Where's the older male? There were five."
"He walks like Dracula, with footsteps silent like death," Helga... says? For lack of better word.
"He's in his room," Zoe explains. My dad quickly rushes upstairs. He better not do anything stupid. Which is why it doesn't take long for me to follow.
"... Red two?" He asks, banging a door. He steps back and kicks the door down. I see that he hasn't even moved his mattress. Lazy butt.
"Dad!" The bathroom door opens.
"What have you done?" Seth yells.
"What? I thought..."
"Is this what your trained to do?"Seth asks holding his hand out. "A 'shock and awe' on my door!"
"I can fix that with a hammer and some nails. It's really easy..." I scoff, 'cause half the wood hasn't just come off.
"No it's not! Look! It's broken in half! You can't fix that!" Seth yells, pointing at it.
"If you'd have been wearing this," My dad puts a tracking device around his wrist. "This wouldn't have happened."
"Sorry." I mutter and walk into my room.
"Hey Lulu, what're you doing?" She's sat on the couch writing in a pink flowery notepad. She looks miserable so I'm guessing it's homework and she's not just writing for fun.
"English, I hate it, I already speak the language, why do we need to have lessons on it? It make no sense! This is so stupid! Do you know how much harder it is this year? I'm just so fed up!" She groans loudly, storming out of the room, leaving me no space to answer.
"Geez, I only asked, but okay, sounds wonderful," I say it more to myself but Seth walks in giving me an odd look. "Lulu was on about English homework and how much she loves it."
"Ah, sometimes it's best just not to ask."
"I know that now."
We stand for a moment, not knowing what to say or do.
"Wanna watch Friends with me?"
"Um, sure."
"What are you doing?" I ask Zoe and Seth, watching them coat the top step in oil.
"Shh!" Seth hisses.
"Okay, here he comes," Zoe whispers, we run down the stairs and hide behind the couch, Seth dragging me by the wrist.
"Hey," I hear Helga say. "You leave towel on floor in bathroom, I pick up after kids not you; and light a match next time!" I hear someone walk away.
A girlish scream sounds as someone steps forward and tumbles down the stairs, laundry flying everywhere. Helga. We look at each other and duck down.
We crawl out of the family room; take one look at each other and just burst out laughing.
"That did not go as planned!" Zoe said between laughs.
"Not at all!" Seth agrees.