Okay, last chapter for today. My butt hurts from sitting here so I don't know when I will update this again. I hope you are liking this as much as I am. I already have an idea on where I want to take this. I don't think this will be a 20/30 chapter story but it ends up turning into one, I hope I can hold your attention for that long. Enjoy!

Language.

Disclaimed

Chapter 8…

What was it? Why can I not concentrate at this very moment? I was fine but now I have an urgency to call home. Home? I never considered this home. Why am I thinking this way? I need to shake this off. I need to shake this off. I need to talk to Uncle Emmett.

Walking down to the living room, I find everyone lounging around as if nothing is happening. Inside my own chest, my heart is beating a million miles an hour. As soon as I step down a few steps, all eyes snap to attention at my direction and my parents flint to my side.

"What is it honey? What is happening?" my mother asking with an alarm to her voice. I hadn't seen this concern look in her eyes in years but I can't answer her. I stare into her eyes, trying to gather my thoughts. But I can't.

"She doesn't know. It's more of a feeling. Something disturbing is happening…at home," my father answered for me.

All breaths hitched at the same time. No one knowing how to take this news. What could be happening at home? What is going on?

"Charlie," my mother breathed, a mixture of worry and horror displayed across her face. You could see different scenarios being played out in her mind. Then the determination to not let them come true.

In the next second, everyone was gone to their prospective rooms, packing suitcases for the trip back home. Urgency in the air. Carlisle on the phone making the last minute needed arrangements, Esme by his side in a flash, handing him the necessary information needed to finalize the arrangements. Alice and Jasper already back from their house with bags in tow. Emmett quickly flashed to the garage to bring the cars around for the trip to the airport. I had not even taken a step forward before I realized what was happening…we were going home.

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. We were going to the one place I swore I would never return too. I did not want to go. We were going back to him. I did not want to go but my heart was aching to go. To see what was going on. To make sure he was safe. Knowing I was about to open up wounds that I did not wish to open up. To feel feelings I had tried to bury. To see the one person I did not wish to see. Him.

My heart skipped a beat at the thought. The pull I was trying to ignore all these years suddenly resurfaced and became greater than before. The pull seem to take over my senses as I went into zombie mode. My dad had to picked me up and carried me to the awaiting car. By the time I was able to comprehend what was going on, we were already on the path back to home…back to him. Back to the life I did not want to live. Scared shitless that I would run into him. I did not want to give him false hope. I did not want to lead him on.

As I took in my surroundings I knew several things were happening at this moment. One, I had an overwhelming sense of dread creeping into the pit of my stomach. Two, we were already in midair by the time I could wrap my head around what was happening. And three, I was going to see him.

After avoiding him for three years. After leaving him kicking and screaming. After leaving him crying and broken. After trying to keep him off my mind, out of my life, and out of my heart, we were heading in his direction. But I did not feel happy. What was supposed to be the most exciting time in my life, was filled with dread and worry. I did not know what was going on. I wasn't sure what we were heading to. I just felt the need to find him and make sure he was okay. Something deep inside wanted to make sure he was not hurt. I felt the threat that he felt. I felt the anger that he felt. I tried denying it all these years but I knew I was still connect to Jacob. My Jacob.

Not wanting to alert those around me, I placed my hand on my Aunt Alice's face and silently asked, "What is happening?"

She looked over at my father for approval for he had heard my silent question and I knew this, but I kept my eyes on Alice and waited for an answer.

"Sweetie, you know I can't see…him," she said hesitantly but continued, "but I can see your grandfather and something is going to happen."

My breath hitched. Grandpa Swan! No! It can't be! No! No! No!

"Nessie, Reneesme! Look at me," Alice urged as she continued to explain, "He's okay. He will be fine. But Sue has disappeared from my visions. I can't see her but I can see your grandfather highly upset. We are trying to get there before anything happens. Remember I see the future that has YET to happen. If we can get there in time, then NOTHING will happen."

The tension thick in the air as I suddenly realized this plane was going too slow. I could feel panic well up inside my chest. I wanted to get out of this plane. Suddenly the walls felt as if they were closing in on me. Then, without warning, a calming blanket was laid on me. It had been years since I had felt this warmth wrap around me. The security blanket to ease the pain and calm my nerves. It was then I knew Uncle Jasper was sitting next to me. I looked up at him and mouthed a silent "thank you" before resting back on my seat. A small smile of relief washed over his face because I was allowing him to comfort me without lashing out at him. After two years of not allowing him to comfort me and rejecting his warmth, I was allowing my Uncle Jasper near me again.

And to be perfectly honest, I missed him. I missed my Uncle Jazz, with all my heart. He was my mentor and guide to learning how to fight and defend myself. To learn how to fight with my head and not my emotions. I loved my Uncle Jazz and his crazy obsessions with winning and never accepting defeat. Some call him stubborn. I call him determined.

A smile crept onto my father's face and I knew he had heard me. But most importantly, he smiled because I allowed him to hear my thoughts and I did not keep him out. I knew he knew and if a vampire could cry, he certainly would be doing so right now.

"It seems you know me too well," he smiled at my direction. Mom looked at him with confusion on her face before she realized he was having a silent conversation with me. Something we had not done in the past two years when I shut everyone out of my life and became a shell of my former self. Something that ignited the flame of hope within my mother that I would be okay and I would become my former self.

I did not want to become my former self because to become my former self meant I would belong to him. My former self was his. I left my former self with him. I did not want to be her. She was stupid to believe that he really did loved her. Too stupid and blind to see the truth before her. Blindly following her stupid, shallow heart, while all along not knowing that she wasn't really wanted. She wasn't supposed to be. She was here by accident. She was an accident. An abomination. No. I had no desires to become her…my former self.

My dad winced at my thoughts. Then stay out of my head! I thought his way. The sadness crept into his eyes again. The longing for his little girl. Well got news for you dad! She is fucking gone.

I wasn't sure how I had become so cruel towards everyone. No really caring what everyone thought. Not really fucking caring what I said anymore. Just living a lie. Waiting until the day I leave this earth and rid the world of this abomination.

"Reneesme, please stop," my dad pleaded. My mom looked at his expression and the sadness returned to her eyes as well. The longing for our relationship returned and she was on the verge of crying silent vampire tears.

There was a time I was so close to my mother. I could tell her everything. Even things about Jacob. How I use to make him play dolly with me. How we would innocently hunt each other in the forest. And later, how I no longer wanted to 'innocently' hunt Jacob. I needed my mother during my raging, hormonal teenage years. I needed her to help me transform my relationship with Jacob from friends to lovers. I looked forward to having a relationship that mirrored my parents. One with love, affection, and devotion for one another. The care dad took to make sure mom was happy. How he would make sure she hunted first and was satisfied before attending to his own needs. Placing secret kisses on her cheek, lips, and neck when he thought no one was watching. I wanted someone to always hold my hand just to feel the contact of their love. I wanted the spark my mom had in her eyes for my dad. Her love always shining through. I wanted all of this with Jacob before I was told of how he really came to fit into the family. How he was pawning for my mother before she was turned. Hoping against hope to take her away from my father. How she asked for a kiss from my Jacob! And then how, when he thought mom was dead and his chances with her as well, how he settled for second choice. Second prize. Me.

The ache in my heart was re-ignited. I clutched my heart and winced at the pain. Shutting my eyes while tears began to stream down my face. I found it hard to catch my breath. I could feel Uncle Jasper trying his best to send waves of calm onto my shivering body, but the pain refused to let go. All I could do was curl up on my seat, hug my knees, bury my head into my lap, and wait for the paid to subside.

I felt a cool hand rubbing my back. I flinched at the touch. Then I felt myself being picked up and settled onto someone's lap. I was frozen with pain for a moment and could not open my eyes to see who it was. Finally, I caught his scent and buried my face into his massive chest, and began letting the tears escape their prison again. My Uncle Emmett. My teddy bear to hug whenever I needed him. My protector. He never shied away from me. He never left me. He refused to leave me alone. And most of all, he never lied to me. He told me everything regardless if it hurt my feelings or not. He didn't manipulate my feelings or invaded my private thoughts. He didn't run to my parent whenever he thought I was going to something against their wishes. He never tried to talk to me about things I did not want to talk about but he was blunt when needed. He was the only one I turned to these last two years of loneliness. He was the only one I allowed near me.

"Shh…it's okay squirt. Uncle Emmy is here," he cooed. I smiled at the nickname I gave him when I was little. My Uncle Emmy. Aunt Rose laughed when she heard me call him this. From time to time, I catch her calling him "Emmy" with the same affection and devotion my father shows my mother. "We are just going to check on your grandfather. You don't need to worry yourself over him. I won't let him near you. I got you squirt," Uncle Emmy promised, soothing my fears. He knew who crept to the forefront of my mind. But even as he promised me, he knew what I wanted before I spoke.

"And if you do go see him, I will be by your side to help you out. I know it hurts. I know you want to make sure he is okay even after all this time." I could feel my family around us, looking at Uncle Emmy and scolding him for bringing him up but Uncle Emmy knew my heart and what it wanted. He didn't care what others thought. He was there to protect me even if it's from myself. I buried myself deeper into his massive chest as he hugged me closer, protecting me from the hurt, the pain, and the loneliness.

I must of fallen asleep because the next thing I knew we had arrived at our destination and back to where my heart lived…Forks, Washington.