SONG LIST FOR THIS CHAPTER…
What If I was Nothing-All That Remains
Heaven Knows-The Pretty Reckless
Earned It-The Weeknd
Wasteland-10 Years
45-Shinedown
Same Damn Life-Seether
Love The Way You Hate-Like A Storm
Cold-Crossfade
Renegades-X Embassadors
Believe-Mumford & Sons
Hallelujah-Panic! At The Disco
I Am-Awolnation
Cold Blood-Aocalyptica
Pray-Falling In Reverse
THREE MONTHS LATER (Twenty weeks pregnant.)
I have been awake for an hour now and I didn't sleep well last night because I'm too excited to start this day. Since the alarm will be going off in twenty minutes I reach over and turn it off; deciding that Clary will wake up in a better mood if I kiss her awake. I pull the blankets off her body and lift her (my) t-shirt up over her belly; her belly is round and hard as I slide my hand over her skin. I begin to kiss her belly as I whisper good morning to our baby.
"Can you feel the baby moving Jace?"
I look up at Clary as I press my hand against her stomach; feeling the tiniest movement. I smile at her as I kiss her mouth.
"Good morning."
"Morning. So can you feel it?"
"Yes I can feel the baby moving; barely but I can feel it."
"I am so glad that we finally get to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. It will be so nice to say things like she is moving or he is pushing on my bladder."
"Not to mention we can finally make a decision about a name."
"I just hope finding out what we are having will help us make the decision easier. Right now we have four different names picked out."
"After this morning that list will be cut in half if that makes you feel any better."
"Did you get any sleep at all Jace? You look tired."
"Too excited to sleep I think."
"I'm super excited too but I slept really well last night."
"I know you did; maybe it was your snoring that kept me awake." I joke.
"I am going to go get in the shower so I can shave my legs real quick; I was too tired to bother with it last night."
"Do you need any help with that?"
"No! I think I can manage on my own. All though there is a good possibility that someday soon I may need your assistance; this belly gets much bigger I won't be able to even see my feet anymore."
I roll out of bed and walk over to my dresser to get some clothes. I smile widely when Clary climbs out of bed and slips my t-shirt off of her body; tossing it to the floor. Since my mirror experiment three months ago Clary is no longer shy about her body.
"It's hard to believe that you are halfway through your pregnancy already; seem like just yesterday your best friend was punching me in the face for getting you knocked up."
"Oh shit!"
"What's wrong?"
"We are finding out the sex of our baby today."
"Yes dear I am aware of that; why are you freaking out about it Clary?"
"Izzy." She states simply.
"That's right; after today you won't be able to avoid going shopping with her anymore. I don't know why you hate shopping so much Clary."
"I just do. I have a feeling she is lingering in the hall with a handful of sales flyers; just waiting to pounce on me."
"No way; trust me my sister is still sleeping like the dead in her room right now. I can see by the look on your face you must be wondering how I could possibly know that. I got up to get something to drink at four thirty this morning and she was just getting home; that's how I know she is still sleeping. She will be out like a light until at least noon today."
"Thank goodness for that. Jace? How much do you love me?"
"What would you like for breakfast?"
"You know me so well. Do we have any bagels left?"
"I think so but what would be your second option?"
"Well if there are any bagels left; I would like it toasted with butter on it and some fruit on the side. If there aren't any bagels left then I will just eat some more fruit."
I place my hands on her belly and kiss her forehead before heading downstairs to make her breakfast. Luckily there is one more bagel left and I pop it in the toaster before I begin to cut up some fruit. I can't help but chuckle when I remember the day Clary woke up one morning and said to me: 'The baby is hungry for a bagel.' I laughed at her and said: 'Sure Clary; I bet the baby is hungry for a bagel and not you.' I laughed even harder when she narrowed her green eyes at me and insisted that she was hungry for some fruit but who was she to deny our baby of it's craving for carbs. So, pretty much every day for the last month Clary has had a bagel and fruit for breakfast. She pouts for the rest of the day when we run out and she gets stuck eating cereal instead. I admit that I keep her spoiled because god forbid we run out of something that she likes to eat; I will run right out and get more of what she wants.
Thankfully Clary has not taken too big of an advantage of my spoiling ways. She has had a really easy pregnancy so far. Other than a few bouts of dizziness and a couple of sudden trips to the toilet; her symptoms have been fairly minimal in comparison to the horrors I read about on the internet. Last week she woke me up in the middle of the night because her hips were bothering her and she couldn't get comfortable. I told her that she should put a pillow between her knees to relieve the pressure but she refused; instead she just pulled my leg in-between her knees and told me I could be her pillow from now on. I think when I go pick up the crib in two weeks I will pick her up a body pillow; she will sleep more comfortably with her legs wrapped around that than around me. She has been burdened with terrible night sweats with her pregnancy and most nights she wakes up soaked in sweat from having her body wrapped around me. Sometimes she wakes up sweating on more than one occasion during the night and she ends up being a little on the grumpy side for a day because of her broken sleep. I keep trying to get her to take naps during the day but the stubborn little thing refuses to humor me; she just walks around yawning all day.
I no sooner put Clary's breakfast on the table and sit down with my cup of coffee when she walks into the kitchen. She has on one of her cute little maternity shirt today; this one is white with little yellow flowers on it and her swollen breast look amazing in it; she has gone up a full cup size in the last two month. She put up a rather loud fight about Izzy's insistence to go shopping for maternity clothes when most of her clothes just became too small to accommodate her growing belly anymore. Izzy and her were at the mall for barely an hour but considering the amount of bags Clary returned home with you would have thought they spent the entire day shopping. Clary hates shopping but when she puts her mind to it; she can be a very sufficient speed shopper. Even though she has plenty of comfortably fitting (might I add that they are totally adorable on her as well) clothes she mostly just wears my t-shirts with some kind of stretchy pants around the house.
"I can see that today is going to be a good day Jace." She smiles as she sits on my lap.
"Of course it will be a good day. Today we find out if we are having a little Jace or a little Clary; what could be more exciting than that?"
"I was really only referring to being happy about eating a bagel for breakfast but yes you are right."
I kiss her neck and rub her belly as she takes a bite out of her bagel. I have to fight the urge to giggle when she makes an 'mmm' sound as she chews her food.
"My beautiful pregnant girlfriend can be so one track minded sometimes." I coo into her ear.
"Not me; the baby. The baby wants to eat a bagel and it's my job as the baby's mommy to oblige."
My mouth drops open but I quickly close it and grin widely at her when she looks at me in confusion.
"What are you grinning about Jace?"
"You said mommy; that's the first time you called yourself mommy."
"By the grin on your face am I to assume you are happy about this?"
"Daddy is very happy about this." I growl into her ear before I gently nibble her skin.
"You two have a bedroom for a reason you know."
I look up to see Alec shuffling into the kitchen; his dark hair sticks up wildly from his head as he stretches his arms while yawning dramatically.
"Good morning to you too Alec." I say as I caress Clary's bright red cheek. She is always so embarrassed when someone sees us being intimate together; I on the other hand could care less.
"Morning Jace; Clary."
"Good morning Alec; how are you today?" Clary asks shyly.
"A little nauseous to be honest; I could do without the PDA so early in the morning. I need at least one cup of coffee in me before I can stomach seeing Jace's tongue in your ear."
"Lucky for you I can hear the sarcasm in your voice Alec." I say sweetly to him.
"Uh-huh. Did I hear you call yourself daddy when I walked in or was I hearing things?"
"No you heard right. Why do you have a problem with that?"
"Not at all; I think it's sweet."
"Magnus must have showed you a good time last night because you are in a very good mood this morning brother."
"You hush now."
I laugh as I watch him turn away to pour himself a cup of coffee; the huge grin on his face tells me I am not wrong about what I said. Clary elbows me lightly in the ribs and her green eyes are telling me to behave myself.
"Guess what today is Alec." Clary says excitedly.
"I don't have to guess what today is Clary because I have today marked on my calendar. Today I find out if I will have a niece or a nephew."
"Awe really Alec? You have it marked on the calendar?"
"I most certainly do; would you like me to go get it so you can see?"
"No that won't be necessary."
"That's good because if you two don't get going you are going to be late for your ultrasound."
Shit! Alec is right. When I look at the clock I can see that we need to leave now or we will be in fact late for her appointment. Clary gets off my lap and walks across the kitchen where she kisses Alec's cheek as he bends down towards her so she doesn't have to stretch. Seeing the two of them together like this warms my heart. I feel a small pang of guilt looking at these two people that I love so much because I can't help but think about Em.
I promised her that Clary and I would make a trip to LA to see her but I keep making up excuse to stay home. Her and Sandra came and spent two weeks with us last month and was an amazing visit; it was so nice to see Clary bond with Emma almost immediately. The day Sandra and Em stood in the library to portal back to LA was surprisingly emotional for Clary; she told Emma how much she was going to miss her with tears in her eyes. I just assumed that it was Clary's hormones that made her emotional but when I saw tears in Emma's eyes; I realize how close the two of them became in two weeks.
The idea of portal travel for my pregnant girlfriend makes me break out in a sweat. If it wasn't such a long trip; I would just drive Clary and I to LA to see Em. My guilt grows stronger each time I think about my friend that lives all the way on the west coast; I think I better call her after we get home from the doctor. I was planning on calling her anyhow so I could tell her if we were having a boy or a girl but now I really want to try to explain my absence to her; maybe she will understand and maybe I can convince her to come to New York for a visit instead.
I open the passenger side door (I did a good job fixing it and you would never know that I had scraped that red pole) of my car and take Clary's hand to help her out. I keep her hand in mine as we enter the doctor's office. We don't even have to sit in the waiting room because the nurse takes us right in when we check in for Clary's appointment. The nurse instructs Clary to put on one of the shitty paper gowns and to lay on the table to wait for the doctor to come in. I sit on the chair and take each piece of Clary's clothing that she hands to me; folding them neatly before sitting them on the side table.
"Fuck your boobs are amazing."
"Jace! Watch your mouth; we are in a doctor's office for crying out loud."
"Come closer; I want to touch them."
"Behave yourself and hand me my gown."
"Come over here and take it from me baby."
"Jace Wayland! What has gotten into you today?" She shrieks a little too loudly.
"Shh…someone will hear you. Here is your gown; I will behave myself for now but just you wait until we get home."
She rolls her eyes at me as she puts her gown on and she is trying not to giggle as she attempts to get up on the exam table. I jump up out of my chair and lift her onto the table so she doesn't hurt herself.
"Short girl problems I am used to but short pregnant girl problems I am still getting used to. Thank you for helping me."
"You're more than welcome. Since I am such an attentive boyfriend shouldn't I get a reward?"
"I suppose you do deserve a reward; give me a kiss before the doctor gets in here."
I bend down and kiss her softly on the mouth long enough that her tiny hands snakes around my neck and her fingers tangle in my blond hair. I take advantage of her distraction from my kiss and slide my hand over her belly and cup her breast in my hand; only to have her shove me away and she swats my hand as she narrows her green eyes at me.
"Sorry mommy, guess I got a little carried away."
"Yeah I guess you did. Now please behave yourself Jace; the doctor will be in here any second now. At least I hope he will; I want to get this over with so I can go pee."
"I thought you peed before we left?"
"I did but I have to pee again. The baby really likes my bladder for some reason. I try to push on my belly to get the baby to move away from my bladder but it's no use."
"Stubborn like its mother I see."
"I think this baby is a brat like its father actually."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because the little bugger almost made me pee myself in the training room yesterday. I think the baby thought my bladder was a trampoline. So the baby is always in a playful mood just like his or her daddy is."
Clary and I are both still laughing when the doctor comes in the room.
"Good morning Clary; good morning Jace." The doctor says with a pleasant smile on his face.
"Good morning." We both say in unison and I chuckle.
"Today is the big day you two. Today we find out if you are going to have a son or a daughter. Have you had any guesses yet Clary?"
"I keep having dreams about a little blond haired boy."
"Really? You didn't tell me you had those dreams Clary." I say in a surprised tone.
"I also have dreams about eating fifteen taco's too and I don't tell you about them either."
The doctor chuckles as he squirts liquid over Clary's belly and proceeded to use the ultrasound wand to smear it over her skin.
"Okay mommy is guessing that she is having a boy; what about daddy? Do you have any guesses?"
"She's having a girl." I state confidently.
"Well let's find out who wins the bet now shall we?"
Clary and I both keep our eyes focused on the screen as the doctor moves the wand over her belly to get a good angle of the baby. He points his finger at the screen to show us where the baby's head is and he also point out the arms and legs.
"Can either one of you see?" The doctor asks as he points at the screen.
"I can see the arms and legs and make out the shape of the baby's body but I really can't see if it's a boy or a girl." Clary says.
"Jace? What do you see?"
"I know what I don't see doc."
"What is it that you don't see?"
"There is no penis. I told you she was having a girl."
"You are correct Jace. Congratulations you two you will be welcoming your daughter home in about twenty weeks."
I can't help myself; I jump up out of my chair and pound my fist in the air and whoop loudly in the small room with excitement.
"Yes! Yes! Yes! I can't wait to meet our baby girl Clary." I shout with excitement.
"You are so smug Jace. You were right though; you have been saying we were going to have a girl pretty much since we found out I was pregnant."
I bend down and kiss her forehead as the doctor wipes off her belly. She has tears in her eyes as she smiles up at me.
"Are you disappointed that we aren't having a boy Clary?"
"No not at all; I just want the baby to be healthy."
"Why are you crying then?"
"I'm not crying; I'm just happy to see how excited you are."
"I am excited; now I will have two beautiful girls to spoil instead of just one. All we need to do now is pick her name so we can start calling her by her name. What's it going to be Clary? Will our daughters name be Heather Rayne Wayland or Celine Adel Wayland?"
"We don't have to decide right now."
"That's true we still have lots of time to decide what to call our baby girl. It will just be nice to be able to say she and her instead of baby or it."
When we get home; Clary surprises me when she tells me she wants to go back to bed for a while. After I tuck her in and kiss her cheek; I leave the room so I can call Em. Pulling my phone out of my pocket to dial her number; I decide against it and end up shoving it back into my pocket. If I don't tell Alec and Izzy first they will be mad at me. I find Izzy still sleeping in her room and I shake her shoulder as I sit on the edge of her bed.
"If I didn't know the reason why you are waking me up right now and wasn't super excited to hear the news; I would punch you right now."
"I wasn't sure if you would be mad at me for waking you up but you said you wanted to know as soon as possible."
"I do, so tell me already."
"Well Aunt Izzy you will be happy to know that you will be able to shop for your niece from now on because we both know Clary will make you do it anyway."
Izzy sits up and hugs me tightly as she mumble in my ear about how happy she is for the two of us to be having a little girl. I kiss her cheek and tell her to go back to sleep before I leave her room to go find Alec; turns out I don't have to look for him because he is out in the hall. He is bouncing on his heels and rubbing his hands together in anticipation of the news that is coming his way.
"Come on Jace! The suspense is killing me!"
"Looks like we will have one more female to be protective over in this house Alec."
"Holy shit! You were right all along then Jace. Congratulations brother; where is our little red head? I would like to tell her congratulations as well."
"Our little red head went back to bed for a while so you will have to wait till later to flirt with my girlfriend."
"I do not flirt with Clary; she is like my little sister you pervert. Besides she doesn't have the right equipment to be my type."
"Too much information Alec."
"When are you going to stop calling her your girlfriend?"
I grab Alec by the back of his neck and drag him halfway down the hall before letting him go and looking at him.
"Shh…keep your voice down you big mouth. What if Clary is still awake?"
"Sorry, I was just messing around. Why are you freaking out?"
"I'm freaking out because her ring should have been back from the jeweler last week but there was a mistake with the sizing so it's taking longer than it should."
"Oh I can understand why you would be freaking out about that then. You want to make sure it's right in case you have to send it back for another adjustment before you propose to her."
"Exactly. I have a feeling things aren't going to go as planned."
"So don't plan anything. Just ask her to marry you while she is eating breakfast one morning. You know she is going to say yes anyhow; I don't see why you have to have all these elaborate plans just to propose to her."
"Alec you are an idiot. Do you even know what the definition of romance is?"
"I know what it means; I just don't see the point. Why be romantic to her just because you are asking her to be your wife? I think you should just be yourself."
"How do you know I'm not romantic all the time?"
"You? Come on Jace."
"You have no idea how sweet I can be Alec. Mark my word when I propose to Clary even you will be weeping tears of envy because you will be jealous that your boyfriend isn't as romantic as I am."
"Okay, well I will make sure to keep tissues in my pocket in anticipation of the weeping."
"Don't you have something to be doing? I need to call Emma now so go bother someone else; maybe a certain warlock would enjoy some more of the action that has caused your good mood today."
Alec punches me in the shoulder as he walks away to get on the elevator. I am still chucking when I dial Emma's number.
"Hello?"
"He-hello is this Sandra?"
"Jace is that you?"
"The one and only. How are you doing Sandra? Why are you answering Em's phone? Is everything alright?"
"I am doing well; thank you for asking Jace. Everything is just fine; I only answered her phone because she is in the shower."
"Oh okay, well could you tell her I called."
"What are you too good to talk to me for a minute until she gets out of the bathroom?"
"No of course not. What have you been up to lately?"
"Not a whole lot to be honest with you; my ribs are taking longer to heal than I thought they would."
"Ribs? What happened?"
"See if you called your friend more you would know these things Jace."
Fuck! I am in the dog house with Sandra for neglecting Emma and I am sure to be in the dog house with Em as well. I am certain that if Sandra is scolding me over the phone right now it must be because Emma has been complaining to her about me.
"I'm really sorry Sandra; I know I haven't been calling as much as I should. Please tell me what happened."
"Two weeks ago we got called out after we go a report of demon activity down by the port; when we got there we were outnumbered majorly. I got the left side of my ribcage crushed by a demon when I went to help Julian; he was nearly dead by the time I got to him. Thankfully I got to him before it was too late; Em would have been devastated to lose her parabitai."
"Where was Em when all this happened?
"Fighting off six demons on the other side of the port. Can you believe she didn't get a scratch on her? Hell she looked like a damn runway model compared to the rest of us."
"She's an amazing shadowhunter. Sometimes I think she is better than even me but don't tell her that or it will go to her pretty blond head."
"Tell me about it; she doesn't need her ego stroked any more than it already is."
"So it's been two weeks and your ribs still aren't healed? Did you call the silent brothers?"
"They did everything they could; they said I must just need more time to heal."
"How about a warlock? Did you try a warlock?"
"No."
"Maybe I could see if Magnus would be willing to make a trip to look at your ribs."
"No don't do that; they are practically healed now so that would just be a waste of time...Oh here is Em now; I will talk to you later."
"Later Sandra."
I can hear Em and Sandra arguing for a minute and then the phone cracks loudly in my ear.
"Hello? Sandra? Em?"
"Hello Jace."
"Emma, how are you? Beautiful as ever I'm sure."
"I'm fine Jace. How are you?"
"Emma I can hear how mad you are at me."
"That's good because I wasn't trying to hide the anger in my voice."
"Fuck Em, I'm really sorry I haven't been calling you as much, see the thing is…"
"That's right, here comes the line of excuses now; well don't bother Jace because I really could care less to be honest with you. I haven't heard from you in almost a month; obviously you are just too busy to call me for five minutes or shoot me an occasional text. Look I'm kind of busy right now so I need to get off the phone."
"Emma Carstairs! Don't you dare hang up that fucking phone!"
I quickly dial her number and get sent straight to voicemail. Fuck! I search through my phone for Sandra's number and push the call button.
"Just because you call my phone doesn't mean she is going to talk to you Jace."
"She is really pissed at me isn't she Sandra?"
"Of course she's pissed you asshole…owe don't hit me Em…apparently she can call you an asshole but I'm not allowed."
"Please ask her to talk to me."
"Can't; she left. She took her surf board and told me not to follow her; now she is pissed at me too."
"I can't believe how mad she is; I mean…"
"Really Jace? Is it so hard to believe that someone would be mad at you? She text you two fucking weeks ago and asked you to call her as soon as you could and you never did. She was scared of losing Julian and she was upset that I was the one who got hurt saving him instead of her. She needed to talk to you and you were just too damn busy to give her five fucking minutes of your precious time."
"I feel like such a piece of shit right now Sandy."
"Don't call me Sandy; only Em is allowed to call me that. You should feel like a piece of shit; how would you feel if she did that to you? When you need her she drops everything for you Jace but you just fucking blow her off when she needs you for something. That's not how you treat someone that you supposedly care about."
"Not supposedly; I do care about her. I love Emma and you know that Sandra. I just wish she wouldn't have hung up on me. I wish she would have given me the chance to explain."
"Look Jace, I can hear the pain in your voice so I tell you what; when she gets back I will try to convince her to call you but I can't make any promises to you."
"You don't have to do that for me Sandra."
"I know I don't but I will."
"No that's not what I mean. You don't have to tell her to call me because I am coming to LA."
"Really? When?"
"Today, right now."
"Okay I guess I will see you soon then."
"Do you think she went to south beach to surf?"
"Probably; that's her favorite spot."
"Good. I will go straight there once I arrive."
"I can meet you at the institute and keep Clary company for you while you go talk to Em if you want me to."
"That won't be necessary."
"Really Jace I don't mind."
"Clary will be staying home; I'm coming alone."
"Okay. Talk to you soon then."
"Goodbye."
"Bye Jace."
Fuck me! Why can't I keep the women on my life happy? Clary is usually pretty happy with me most of the time; even when I do piss her off she always talks to me about it and then we are okay. I usually have Izzy pissed at me for something at least once a week and now Emma must hate me by now for neglecting our friendship. My stomach flips because I just realized that I am sure to have my own daughter pissed at me when she is old enough to understand. I think about waking up Clary to tell her I am leaving but decide that will only cause me another problem and I go to find Alec instead. When I find Alec's room empty I decide to just call him so I can save time.
"Hey Jace what's up?"
"Alec where are you right now?"
"Almost to Magnus's why?"
"I need you to come home."
"Why what's wrong? Is Clary okay?"
"Yes she is fine. Look I need you to come home so you will be here when she wakes up."
"Why? Where are you going?"
"I need to go to LA; Em's pissed at me and I need to go see her. I need to see if I can bandage the wound on our friendship before I lose her for good."
"Why aren't you taking Clary with you? You know how much she has been wanting to go to LA."
"I don't have time to explain it all to you Alec. Please just come home. Tell her that Em's pissed at me and that I had to go see her; tell her I will be back before nightfall. So help me god Alec whatever you do; don't you dare let Clary portal to LA. I am trusting you to keep her stubborn little ass at home."
"Okay. I'll try."
"Not try. Fucking promise me Alec."
"Do I have permission to tie her up? You should know better than anyone how stubborn she can be."
"Do whatever you need to do; but don't hurt her. I will kill you if you hurt her Alec."
"Relax, I would never hurt her."
"I am hanging up now because I am getting ready to step through the portal. Remember Alec I am trusting you to keep her home where she belongs."
"No worries Jace. Talk to you later."
I put my phone back in my pocket and step into the portal. Stepping off the steps of the institute; the California humidity makes me break out into a sweat almost immediately; I regret the choice to wear black jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. I knew I should have changed but I didn't want to risk waking up Clary to go get clothes out of my dresser. I push my sleeves up and start running towards south beach to find Em. Twenty minutes later I am coved in sweat and wishing I would have taken off my shoes before walking through the hot California sand. With sand in my shoes and sweat dripping off my face I cup my hands around my mouth and yell loudly at the beautiful blond floating on her surf board in the water. She raises her head as she sees me waving my arms at her. I wait patiently for her to get out of the water; she almost hits me with her surf board when she throws it down in the sand.
"Jace what are you doing here? Where is Clary?" Even though she sounds angry; she also sounds concerned. The concern in her voice gives me a small sense of hope that our friendship isn't entirely ruined.
"Clary is at home resting. I am here because I'm an asshole; my friend needed me and I wasn't there for her but I'm here now Em. Please talk to me. Please forgive me for being a shitty friend to you. I love you Emma and I am so fucking sorry."
"You really must be sorry if you came here without even changing your clothes; you do realize that it's nearly ninety-five today don't you?"
"I am; truly I am Emma. As soon as I got off the phone with Sandra and talked to Alec real quick; I came straight here. Please forgive me."
She gives me one of her dazzling smiles as she steps forward and wraps her arms around me for a hug. I just hold on tight to her for a moment; I didn't realize just how much I missed her. She tries to untangle herself from me but I just hold her tighter as the fucking tears start pouring down my face. When she finally manages to break our hug I am full on bawling like a god damned baby; I have to drop to my knees in the sand to keep from falling over. Em drops to her knees and places her hand on my cheek.
"Oh, Jace it's okay. Look I might have over reacted a little bit but I promise you that we are okay. There is no need for you to be so upset over this."
I have to take a couple of minutes to control my pathetic crying before I can speak to her.
"Em it's not you. You're not the reason why I am crying; well maybe a little bit but not completely."
"What is it Jace?"
"No, I didn't come here to talk about me. I came here to hear you talk; to see your beautiful face. Tell me everything that I have been missing out on for the past few months."
"There really isn't all that much to be honest with you."
"Sandra said you were really upset about what happened to Julian. Tell me about that Emma; tell me please."
"I almost lost him Jace; I shudder at the thought of losing my parabitai. It's my fault he almost died in the first place; I should have been with him. It's my fault that Sandy got hurt trying to save Julian. I get too cocky sometimes; I ran too far ahead of my group to take on a bunch of demons on my own. I managed to fight them off but in my haste to play the hero I missed the huge swarm of demons that nearly killed my parabitai."
"You are just like me Emma. I wish I could tell you that someday you will think more clearly but I think we both know that isn't true. How is Julian?"
"He is doing just fine. He loves me more than he should; he wasn't even mad at me for leaving him. I would have been pissed if it were me that was nearly killed because he left me; but not him. Julian loves me even when he shouldn't; sometimes I feel so undeserving of his loyalty and faith."
"Don't feel undeserving Em; take that loyalty and faith and hold on to it. Don't you realize that Julian has to love you the way he does because he knows you don't love yourself enough. He over compensates where you lack and the balance of that is what makes you two who you are. I couldn't imagine a better set of fighting warriors than the two of you."
"Thank you Jace."
"You're welcome Emma."
"Sandy's sick Jace."
Emma's voice was barley a whisper and was so full of sadness that I feel a lump in my throat. When she looks at me her blue eyes are dry but I can see the look of fear and desperation in them.
"Sick? What do you mean she's sick?"
"She has cancer Jace. It's bad; it's in her bones and the doctors didn't give her a good prognosis. I can't lose her Jace; she's everything to me. To make matters worse she is acting like there is nothing wrong with her; she refuses to even acknowledge how sick she really is."
"Fuck Emma; I am so sorry. Is there any kind of treatment that she can take; maybe make her better?"
"It wouldn't matter if there was any treatment that could help her because she wouldn't accept it. Like I said she refuses to even acknowledge that she is sick."
"But won't she die without some sort of treatment?"
"Yes. The doctor said without treatment she might live for maybe six months or so."
"Fuck…Em…I don't even know what to say…I am so, so sorry. What if we could talk her into treatment; then how long would she have?"
"Probably only an extra six months the doctors said; like I said they didn't give her a good prognosis. It has taken me some time to understand how Sandy is thinking but I think I might understand where she is coming from; accepting her inevitable death is the part I'm having trouble with."
"What do you mean you understand where Sandra is coming from?"
"Think about it Jace if it were you in her situation; wouldn't you rather live your last six months the best way you know how instead of being sick every day because the treatment to slow down your death is really only killing you slower? What quality of life do you have when you are too sick to even try to enjoy what time you have left? I respect her decision to die on her feet but that doesn't mean she should ignore the fact that she is in fact going to die."
"That makes sense. I guess I would chose to live my life instead of dying slowly too if it were me."
"Can we change the subject now? I don't want to talk about my dying girlfriend anymore."
"Sure, if that's what you want."
"It's what I need Jace; I need to be distracted for a while. Distract me; tell me everything that has been happening in New York."
"Nothing really worth talking about to be honest with you. Things have been pretty quiet as far as any activity; from the sounds of things; LA is getting all the action right now. The demons must like your weather more than mine."
"Tell me why you were crying Jace. I know you; you don't cry like that unless something is really wrong."
"It's not that there is one particular thing wrong; just a lot of stress I guess. Seeing you; being able to hug you just brought it all to the surface for me. I've been keeping it all in and when you hugged me I guess my dam finally broke open."
"What are you keeping in? What has you so stressed out?"
"Where do I even start?"
"Least stressful to the most stressful might be a good way to start."
"Good idea. Okay well I think my sister is cheating on her boyfriend. Normally I wouldn't give two shits about something like that but her boyfriend happens to be Clary's best friend; so you can see how sensitive the subject is. If Simon is upset then Clary will be upset and if Clary is upset then there is concern for the stress being too much for the baby; not to mention I would be lying if I tried to deny the fact that I would hurt for Simon as well. Clary loves him and he loves Clary so it's only natural for me to have some form of affection for him."
"Okay I get that but you can't make Izzy love Simon and you can't make Simon open his eyes to what he refuse to see. What else is bothering you?"
"I want to ask Clary to marry me but all the plans I have made are getting fucked up so I'm freaking out about that."
"Jace don't freak out about proposing to Clary. You are sweet when you want to be; hell you don't even have to try because it comes naturally to you when you put your mind to it. I know you can pull candy and flowers and all that sappy shit out of your ass and to Clary it will be so god damn sweet it would make other people gag."
"You should be a poet Em." I joke with her.
"Shut up; I'm on a role here. What else has you stressed?"
"Clary's labor; I am really worried about the amount of pain she will have. She is so fucking tiny; and I can't wrap my head around the idea of her pushing my child out of her tiny body without getting the awful image of her splitting completely in half."
"Jace you are being ridiculous about that. Women have babies every day and don't split in two so you need to stop thinking like that. Is that all? Is there anything else?"
"I haven't even gotten to the biggest shit yet Emma."
"So get to it then."
"What if I'm not a good husband to her? What if I am a shitty father to my daughter? I keep trying to figure out all the right things to do; I feel like my head is going to explode. What if I forget Clary and I's fifth wedding anniversary? What if I don't have the patients to teach my little girl how to tie her shoes? How do I tell my wife that the burnt super she cooked for me is delicious and have her believe me? For fuck sakes Emma! How will I manage not to kill the first punk ass kid that breaks my daughter's heart when she starts dating? There is all this shit in my head every day and…"
"Stop! Jesus Christ Jace just stop already. I understand that you are worried about all the what ifs in life but you really need to try to relax. Jace you are one of the best people I know. When you love someone you love them completely and everything that comes along with loving someone comes easy to you. You are going to be an amazing husband and an even more amazing father. Congratulations on having a little girl by the way; you always said you two were having a girl."
"You really think I'll be a good husband and father?"
"I don't think that; it's what I know. As far as everything else goes; the labor, the proposal, even the shit with Simon and your sister; you need to understand that some things you just can't control. Take it from one control freak to another; sometimes you just have to throw your hands up in the air and let things be. Just let the card fall where the fall; don't try to catch them as they drop because at the end of the day they are still going to make a huge fucking mess on the floor."
"Are you saying my life is going to be a huge fucking mess no matter what I do?"
"Not exactly; I'm saying sometimes life with be messy but for the most part your life will be amazing. So ultimately what I am trying to tell you is to not focus on the messy shit; brush that shit off and focus on all the good things."
"Thank you Emma. I have been wanting to talk to Clary about some of this stuff but I didn't want to stress her out. Talking to you has made me realize just how ridiculous I have been."
"I'm glad I could shine some light on the subject for you."
"That's what you are to me you know? You are like sunshine on my face Emma; I love you so much and I am so grateful for your friendship."
"You know what you need Jace?"
"What's that?"
"You need to go home and pack a couple of bags and bring Clary out here. Come to LA and enjoy some sunshine and de-stress a little bit. Sandra and I would love to have the two of you for a visit and it would be a nice distraction for her and I as well."
"I don't think I can bring Clary here Emma."
"Why not?"
"That is another thing that has me stressed out; the biggest reason why I haven't brought her here to visit in the first place."
"What is the reason? Please tell me she isn't jealous of our friendship Jace."
"No, Emma she isn't; I promise."
"Then what's the problem?"
"The portal."
"What about it?"
"Taking my pregnant girlfriend through the portal scares the hell out of me. Hell if it wasn't so far I would just drive her here."
"So fly out."
"Huh?"
"You know fly; as in go to the airport and get on a plane."
"Fuck! I am so damn stupid sometimes. Of course we can get on a plane and fly to LA. I don't know why I never thought of that."
"To be fair Jace; we are shadow hunters and we can just portal to wherever we need to go. So I can see how you would forget about modern transportation."
"That's the plan then. I am going to go home and book the first flight to LA. I will text you all the information but for now I need to get back home before Alec fucks up and lets Clary portal here."
"Hurry back Jace."
"I promise to be here on the first flight out Emma. I love you and I will see you soon."
Emma hugs me tight and I kiss her cheek before sprinting back to the institute to portal home. I manage to send Alec a quick text telling him I'm on my way as I run down the streets of LA. When I step out of the portal into the library of the New York institute; I find Clary and Alec sitting at the long table waiting for me. Alec looks relieved and Clary looks…well pissed but I guess I expected that.
"Clary, come up stairs with me please. Thank you Alec."
"No problem Jace; and Clary I really am sorry." Alec looks at Clary sadly but Clary refuses to look at him; she is too busy glaring at me.
Clary follows me onto the elevator and she crosses her arms as she turns her head away from me. I find it comical to see her look so grumpy yet so damn cute at the same time. Her tiny chin is pointed up and her round belly is sticking out of the bottom of her too tight t-shirt. Too bad she has her arms crossed because I bet her boobs look fucking amazing in that tight little t-shirt; I swear one night she went to bed with her normal tiny chest only to wake up the next morning to an extra cup size. For the first three days after her chest grew; I couldn't keep my filthy hands off of them but thankfully she found my fascination with them to be humorous. I get the overwhelming urge to lift her up and pin her against the elevator wall and burying myself inside of her but I need to keep my mind on track right now.
Once out of the elevator she quietly follows me to our bedroom and she slams the door shut behind her when we get inside. Yep, she is most definitely pissed off. Sweat is still pouring off my face and I pull my shirt off and use it to wipe my face and neck off before tossing it to the floor. I spin around and hold my arms out to her as I give her one of my crooked grins that normally melts her into a puddle of goo but she just shakes her head at me. Nope she isn't getting away with this; I don't care if she is pissed I want to hold her close to me whether she likes it or not. Even though she looks angry I didn't miss her eyes dart up and down as she glanced at my naked chest; she never could keep her eyes off of me. I just shake my head right back at her and put my hands on her belly as I kneel to the floor in front of her. I lift her t-shirt up and plant several kiss across her swollen stomach before resting my cheek against her belly button as I hold her body in a hug.
"I'm sorry I left without telling you. Please don't be angry with me." I whisper.
"I'm not angry at you Jace."
"Yes you are." My words come out in a chuckle.
"No I am not. I am not angry I am hurt."
I stand up and take her chin in my hand forcing her to look at me.
"I'm sorry I hurt you."
"I don't understand why you couldn't just wake me up and tell me you were going to see Emma. Why did you feel like you had to sneak off? Why did you make Alec babysit me so I wouldn't come to LA? Do you know he threatened to tie me up?"
"Shit. He actually threatened to tie you up?"
"Yes."
"In Alec's defense. I made him promise to do whatever he needed to do to keep you from following me to LA. I told him if he didn't keep you home where you belong that I was going to kill him."
"Keep me home where I belong! What the hell is that supposed to mean Jace?" Her loud shrieks hurt my ears.
"I don't mean it like you belong here; like you should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I only meant that I didn't want you to portal to LA."
"Why don't you want me to go to LA? Every time I mention going to California you find some way to make me forget that I brought it up or you end up making up some kind of excuse for us not to go."
"It's not that I don't want you to go to LA. I want you to go but…"
"But what Jace?" Her words are icy just like her green eyes; fuck she is sexy when she's mad.
"I know you are just going to say I am being ridiculous and that I am completely over reacting but please try to understand. Please understand how much anxiety I have bubbling in my chest every single time I think about going to LA with you."
"Anxiety? Why would you have anxiety? What are you hiding in LA Jace?"
"What? Nothing; I'm not hiding anything in LA. Why would you even say something like that Clary?" Now I'm the one with the icy words and I'm sure the icy look in my eyes to match. I doubt that Clary finds me sexy when I'm angry like I do her.
"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said that I guess I am just confused and hurt." Her apology is filled with regret for her previous accusatory words and my anger instantly disappears.
"It's not LA that has me freaked out; it's the damn portal. I am worried about you going through the portal while you are pregnant."
"Really? Why?"
"Because that's what I do Clary. I freak out over stupid shit and I overthink everything. I can't shake this particular feeling of anxiety. Every fucking day I know that we need to go see Em and every fucking day I end up having a mini mental breakdown over the thought of you going through the portal. I just can't deal with it; I can't fucking handle you going through the portal."
"Wow. Jace, I'm so sorry that you have been so stressed out about this for the past few months. Please calm down; I promise not to use the portal while I am pregnant."
I breathe a huge fucking sigh of relief and pull her to my chest for a warm hug but I need more of her right now; it's been too long since our bodies have been tangled together. I lift her chin and consume her mouth in a needy kiss as I run my hands down her back; the pervert in me squeezes her tiny ass as I pull her close to my body. She is too short and her round belly sticks out too far for me to be able to grind my hips into hers. She begins to loosen my belt; blood flows to my shaft quickly because now I know that I'm not alone in my thoughts about needed our bodies tangled together but I break our kiss and stop her because I remember that I need to book the next available flight to LA.
"Hold that thought for a minute Clary."
"What? Why?" The sound of desire in her voice almost makes me say fuck the flight lets go to bed; the promise I made to Emma is the only reason why I don't.
"I need to book our flight before I get lost in you."
"Book our flight to where?"
"To LA. I would really like to stay for a week or more so I would pack enough stuff for at least two weeks just to be on the safe side."
"When are we going?"
"We will take the first flight I can book."
"I have a doctor's appointment next Thursday."
"I know; I'll make sure we are back before your appointment."
I pull up the site to check on a flight and out of the corner of my eye I can see Clary wringing her fingers; Christ it's been a couple of months since I haven't seen her do that and I almost forgot it was something she did when she is nervous.
"Jace have you ever been on a plane before?"
"No."
"Me neither; it's it normal that I am a little scared to get on the plane?"
"Sure it is Clary."
"Are you scared too?"
"Not really but I probably will be once we get to the airport and I actually see the plane."
"How long is the flight?"
"This says about six hours if we fly non-stop…oh fuck…that's probably not good."
"Six hours isn't too bad."
"No not that; the money. Between the two of us it's going to cost a little over three grand for two round trip non-stop tickets. I better call Alec to see if it's okay to use the credit card for this."
I pull my phone out of my pocket at send a text to Alec telling him to come to my bedroom. Two minutes later he knocks at the door and Clary opens it. Alec stands in the doorway with a confused look on his face.
"What's up?" Alec says nervously as he glances around my room; for once I could care less that he is in here.
"Clary and I are going to fly to LA to visit Em for ten days."
"Fly? What do you mean Fly; why don't you just portal?"
"Fuck Alec! I can't have Clary go through the portal; it stresses me out too much."
"Oh I get what you are saying; it's because she is pregnant. Okay so you two are flying; what does that have to do with me?"
"It's cost a little over three grand for round trip tickets for the two of us."
"Ouch…I don't see how I can sneak that past the Clave Jace. Maybe fifteen hundred but probably not three thousand."
"Jace what if I just go on the plane and you portal to LA?" Clary attempts to be helpful.
"You can't go on the plane alone Clary. You will need Jace there with you so you don't freak out."
I am glad that Alec was the one who said Clary couldn't go without me; at least he can be the bad guy.
"Maybe I can find something cheaper that fly's out in a few weeks; it's probably so expensive because it's a last minute flight."
"Here Jace; use this card to book your flight."
"Is this from your savings account Alec?"
"Yes."
"I can't use this."
"Yes you can; I have almost fifteen grand saved in there. I won't miss three of it."
"I will pay you back when I can."
"Whatever you want to do. Just book your flight before they are all gone."
"Thank you Alec; this really means a lot to me."
"It's just money; it doesn't mean anything to me but family does."
Alec looks at me with love and conviction in his dark blue eyes and I feel almost overwhelmed by his love for me right now; so overwhelmed that I stand up and hug him for a long quite moment. I may not have spoken any words to him as I hugged him but when I looked into his blue eyes after our hug; his eyes told me he heard every unspoken word that I was thinking. Wiping my own tears off of my face; I sit back down at my lap top and book Clary and I's flight for first thing in the morning. I hand him his bank card back and he just nods before turning to leave the room. Clary rushes across the room and clutches onto his back.
"I love you too Clary; please take care of him for me." Alec's voice is soft and full of not sadness but more of a desperate kind of hope.
"I promise." Clary whispers.
After Alec leaves my room and Clary goes back to packing her bag; I just sit there as all the events from today begin to really sink in. The pain I feel for Em as she tries to come to terms with losing the love of her life in such a short period of time. The constant fear and worry about what my future holds and the fact that I cannot control the thing that I want to control the most. Admitting to myself just how much I really do care for Simon; my heart aches for his broken relationship with my sister to the point of me actually distancing myself from my own sister. I have been keeping too much stuff bottled up inside of me; I have so much empathy for other people that I forgot to have it for my own self. Alec felt it all along but his high respect towards me has kept him silent. Emma Carstairs might know me and Clary knows me like no one ever will; she has a deep understanding for how I am wired but sometimes she is guilty of pushing me too much. Alec might not know me but he understands me even more than I think even I can understand myself. He somehow manages to understand the emotions that pour out of me and enter him in an all-consuming way. I will admit in the privacy of my own mind that I do in fact love Simon and of course I love Izzy and my love for Emma is a kind of love that will probably never fade over time or distance. Emma and I are some kind of kindred spirits if you believe in things like that. Alec and Clary will always be my rocks in life. Where Clary pushes too far Alec always stands back too far; the balance between the two of them will keep me grounded to this earth for the rest of my days. Hearing the words exchanged between Alec and Clary has opened my eyes to understanding that I am just as important to the two of them as they are to me. I am humbled by the thought of me being a kind of Keystone for Alec and Clary. They love each other because they both love me; it's a simple and pure love that is so beautiful that it makes my chest ache in the best way possible.
I feel like my entire life has just been turned upside down right now but in a good way. I have convinced myself that I was numb and couldn't feel but the honest truth to it is; I numbed my own self on purpose. I kept myself numb so that I didn't have to feel. I built up this imaginary wall so that I could pretend that feeling and emotions couldn't touch me. I realize now that the imaginary wall was just that; imaginary and pretending that I couldn't feel was just that; pretending. It took loving Clary and seeing and fucking feeling the love that her and Alec have for me to make me begin to understand just who I really am. I have an overwhelming amount of empathy for other people and that is a wonderful thing; I just need to remember to have it for myself from time to time. I am a passionate lover of the people I hold close to my heart and most of all I finally feel like I am deserving of the love that these important people that I hold close to my heart have for me.
"Are you okay Jace?"
Her question is ironically timed as I wrap my brain around being Jace Wayland AKA Mr. Deserving. I take her hand in mine and pull her onto my lap where I bury my nose into her red hair and inhale her scent until I feel dizzy.
"I couldn't be better right now if I tried Clary." I state honestly to her.
She pulls my face back so she can look at me and her soft smile warms my heart.
"There he is; there's my Jace. You went away for a little bit but I knew you would come back to me."
"You knew something wasn't right with me?"
"Yes and as much as I wanted to pull it out of you or as you would say push it out of you; Alec made me understand that sometime you just need to be left alone sometimes."
"You told Alec that you felt like something was wrong with me?"
"Yes we have had quite a few conversations about it actually. I guess you could say that Alec and I kind of council each other about the mystery that is Jace."
"I feel like I should be mad about you two for talking about me behind my back but I don't. All I feel right now when I think about the two of you talking about me is loved."
"That's because you are loved Jace."
"I know and for once in my life I finally feel like I deserve to be loved."
"See, Alec and I did the right thing; we left you alone and you managed to work this all out on your own. After you spoke to Em and after you talked to me when you got back; I could see a little bit of my Jace but just now as I was packing my bag and you were sitting quietly; that is when all the pieces of your mental puzzle finally came together to form a picture in your head. The result of that picture is my Jace; maybe even a little bit more of a Jace that I will enjoy as you embrace your deserving side."
"Will you stay with me forever Clary?"
"You couldn't get rid of me even if you tried Jace Wayland."
"Will you be Clary; Jace Wayland's beautiful wife?"
"Did you just ask me to marry you Jace?"
"Yes I did."
"I would be honored to be Mrs. Clarissa Wayland; yes I will marry you."
Her soft lips melt into mine and I know that no matter where I am or where I go in life she will always be home to me. I break our kiss but keep my nose pressed lightly against hers as I look into her green eyes.
"I had all these elaborate plans for proposing to you and I don't even have your ring back from the jeweler but I couldn't imagine a better time to ask you to be my wife than this moment. I love you Clary and I will spend the rest of my life loving you."
"And I will spend the rest of my life loving you Jace."
"I know that I should probably get up and pack my bag because we have to board our plan at six in the morning but all I want to do is take you to bed and get completely lost in you right now."
"Then that's what you should do; I can help you pack in the morning."
"Are you sure baby? I know your hips have been bothering you for the past couple of weeks and you have been so tired."
"My hips feel fine right now and I took a nap today. I want you Jace; the past couple of weeks have been torture on me not being able to feel you inside of me."
Clary slides off of my lap and takes my hand in hers as I follow her to our bed where we help each other out of our clothes before she lays down on the bed with her arms outstretched towards me. As I crawl on the bed I lace my arms under her back and lift her tiny body as I push her body to the other side of the mattress before sitting up on my knees between her thighs. I take a few minutes to drink in the sight of her beautiful body before I start to run my hands over her soft skin. I spread my fingers wide on each side of her round belly as I kiss our baby sweetly; whispering I love you to my unborn daughter. The pervert in me groans when I cup her swollen breast in my palms and I groan even louder when I pull her nipple into my mouth; sucking gently.
"Careful Jace; they're sore."
I lighten my sucking as I continue to feel her hardened nipple between my lips; her soft moans tell me that she enjoys my mouth on her. I decide to leave her sore breast alone and begin to kiss a slow path down her body until I reach her center; consuming her sweetness with my mouth until her whole body shudders with pleasure. I gently nibble the sensitive skin on the inside of her thigh as I slide two fingers into her center to feel just how ready she is for me. I stroke her enough to push her almost to the point of another climax before removing my fingers. I chuckle when she whimpers in protest because I know she was so damn close to feeling her release. I curl my long fingers around her small hips and drag her across the mattress as I get off the bed; her thin legs hang off the side as she lifts her head up to look at me in confusion.
Standing at the edge of the mattress; I run my hands up and down the length of her creamy thighs a few times before I slowly start to push my length into her. I sigh loudly once I am inside of her completely and just keep still as I enjoy the feel of her tight center around my hardness. I begin to circle my hips while keeping most of my length inside of her; my hands caress her round belly. I grab her hands and place both of our hands on her belly as I continue to circle my hips.
"That's our baby girl in there Clary…we made her."
"Do you think she knows how much we already love her?"
"Of course she does." I whisper with a smile on my face.
Clary's cheeks blaze bright red as I start to stroke my length in and out of her at a slow pace.
"Are you okay baby? Am I hurting you?"
"Do you think she knows what we are doing right now?"
I can't contain my laughter at her silly question; so that's why her cheeks are bright red right now. She thinks our daughter knows what we are doing.
"No baby; she doesn't know what we are doing but I'm sure she can feel our love. Mommy and daddy are loving each other and I think that makes baby girl happy."
"She's not moving right now."
"She's relaxed because you're so relaxed right now."
"Is this a weird conversation to be having while we have sex?"
"Not to me it isn't."
"Why are you standing? My belly isn't that big yet."
"I can touch my baby better this way. I can see your beautiful body better; your beautiful body that hold my daughter inside of it."
"Right now the belly is small and cute but soon it will be huge."
"And you will look just as sexy then as you do now."
"Sexy?"
"There isn't anything sexier to a guy than to see his baby growing inside of the girl he loves body."
"Okay no more talking Jace."
When she begins to stroke herself as I pump slowly into her my arousal takes over and I push her body across the mattress and climb on top of her where I begin to rock into her at a steady pace. Her moans begin to increase as I continue to rock into her and within a few minutes her body begins to shudder with pleasure. I slow my pace as she comes down off her climax.
"Faster Jace." She moans.
"No baby, I don't want to go faster. I want to go slow. I want to savor this moment. It's been too long and I've missed you so much Clary."
"I've missed you too."
As slow and gentle as I was with Clary her first time this moment is different than that first time. This is the first time I have every really made love to this beautiful girl. My kisses, my touch, my slow stroking has nothing to do with orgasms; this moment is me loving Clary. I use my body to show her how much she means to me. My body is telling her how happy I am that she is going to be my wife and the mother of my child. My body is telling her thank you for loving me. I want to spend the rest of my life showing this beautiful girl just how much her love for me means to me.
It's close to midnight before I finally fall asleep only to be woken up at two when I feel something wet run across my thigh. My eyes pop open in a panic thinking that Clary's water broke but when I look down to see her still sleeping soundly as her body is draped across mine; I see that her skin is soaked with so much sweat that her red hair is damp and the t-shirt she is wearing clings to her skin. The moisture I felt running down my leg was from the sweat pouring off her body. Carefully I shift her off of me and when I look down at my naked body; the whole right side of me is glistening with sweat from where Clary was pressed against me. I slide my hand across the damp sheet and press my palm to her swollen belly; I feel the tiniest flutter under her skin and I press my hand harder into her stomach to see if I can get the baby to move again.
"Jace…please turn the air conditioner up." Clary's voice nearly makes me jump.
"Baby it's up as high as it can go…it's freezing in here."
"I'm so hot…my hair and clothes are so wet that I feel like just got drenched by a shower."
The mention of the word shower gives me an idea; I roll out of bed and take her hand in mine.
"Come here baby; I know what might make you feel better."
"Jace…I feel too gross right now for that."
"Relax, I am not trying to have sex with you. Now get out of bed and follow me."
Clary groans and rolls off bed; she keeps her hand in mine as I walk into the bathroom and turn the shower on; keeping the temperature to an almost freezing stream. I turn around and strip Clary of her damp clothes and when I pull her into the shower I bite back a scream as the cold water hits my body. Clary doesn't even flinch; she closes her eyes and lets out a long sigh as the water begins to cool her volcanic skin. I step back to keep most of the cold water off of my skin as I watch her relish in sweet relief; I on the other hand fight the urge to shiver. By the time she opens her eyes my teeth are chattering from the combination of the cold water and the blasting air conditioner but she looks so relieved that I ignore my discomfort. Clary's green eyes go wide at the sight of my body shivering and she quickly shuts the water off before wrapping her arms around me.
"Oh Jace…you are so cold."
"I'll be okay; how are you?"
"Not shaking like a leaf like you are but at least I don't feel like my skin is on fire anymore. Thank you Jace."
I pull her out of the shower and dry the two of us quickly before returning to the bedroom where I pull her naked body to my side and cover our bodies with the blanket. I am still shivering by the time I fall asleep; but knowing that I was able to help bring her some relief in her uncomfortable state brings as smile to my face.