I sit up quickly, gripping the sheets and breathing in deep. They were there again, blocking me off from the world, dragging me away from the street, tugging away my clothing, scratching at my exposed body. It felt so real, like Trip and Virus were really in my head, picking me apart a little at a time. Relaxing slightly, realizing it was only a dream, I look over at the rest of the empty bed. Thank god Koujaku had to leave early for work, if he saw that it probably would've just made him worry about me.
"Aoba, are you ok?" Ren questions, jumping up onto the bed and sitting in front of me.
"Eh? Ah, heh, fine, just a bad dream." I reply, trying to laugh it off. He gives me a rather quizzical look, but leaves it at that. Looking over to the alarm clock I see the digital print of the time.
"2pm?! Ren why didn't you wake me up?" I question, pulling the sheets off and slipping into some clean clothes.
"I didn't see the need. You've had a rough day and needed the sleep. You didn't need to get up for anything." He replies. I slow when I realize he's right. Because of the busy past couple of months, it felt kind of strange just being able to kick back and relax... Almost unnerving. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door and I freeze. Koujaku wouldn't knock on his own door, yeah he could've forgotten his keys, but I highly doubt that... What if it was those two?! That's when an even more sickening thought hits me, was the door even locked? Since I'm here, Koujaku might've seen no point in locking the door before he left, however I was still asleep when he went and I can't see his keys. Maybe they'd just go away...
Bang Bang...
No such luck. I breathe deep and swallow hard, approaching the door and bringing my shaky hand to the latch.
"Aoba? Are you up yet? Wake up you lazy-" Noiz's voice calls, cutting himself short before he insulted me. Instantly calming, I unlock the door and open it.
"Hey, what's up?" I ask, grinning.
"Umm- I just came round to check up on you. Are you ok you look... Weird." He questions, a quizzical look moulding his face.
"Hm-ah- fine." I smile, inviting him inside.
"You're not still worried about Virus and Trip are you?" He asks, monotone, walking past me and into the apartment. I feel my posture instantly slump. I couldn't hide it, the constant worry nibbling at my brain was preventing me from sleeping, eating and acting properly.
"You need to try and ignore it. Those two just want you to remember and to get you worried. Don't let them win." He tells me, sitting down on the couch.
"Do you want anything to drink?" I ask, trying to lighten and ignore the current conversation. He shakes his head in answer.
"Aoba are you listening to me?" He questions, a stern tone coming to his voice.
"Yeah but-" I begin, ready to give my input before he cuts me off.
"You couldn't even open the door until I called out to you! You can't keep living like that." He tells me. I know he didn't mean to, but I couldn't help but feel like a little kid right now. His 'telling off' tone and glare looking me down made me feel controlled and like I couldn't look after myself.
"You could always show him that you can take care of yourself. You don't need any of these people, just destroy them." His voice invades my head again, latching onto the sudden change in emotional state. He'd been more palpable since my tangible anxiety of Trip and Virus. Knowing that I felt both mentally and physically weak right now must've gave him ideas.
"Shut up." I snarl under my breathe. I see Noiz raise an eyebrow at me.
"Its getting worse?" He questions, referring to Scrap.
"Eh- um-" I begin, trying to think up a plausible excuse, because Noiz stops me.
"You haven't even needed medication since Platinum Jail fell. Even if he's said just one word, that's worse right?" Noiz tells me. I hesitate before thinking of something to reply with.
"Please don't tell Koujaku! If he finds out that I've been struggling to sleep or anything that can be related to the Trip and Virus incident, he'll go overboard. I appreciate him wanting to protect me and look after me, but he'll go too far, I know he will." I explain, keeping my eyes locked on the floor, not really wanting to see the disapproving glare from Noiz. There's a short silence, making me panick slightly. A knot formed in my stomach and a stone sticks to my throat.
"Ok, but you'll have to tell him eventually. These problems won't just go away if you try to ignore them or keep them to yourself." Noiz answers. I smile up at him gratefully. Suddenly, the door handle rattles and my eyes dart to the apartments hallway. I didn't lock it again! Anyone could get in here!
"Yo, Aoba, I'm back." Koujaku calls. I release a heavy sigh of relief at the sound of his voice, while receiving a shake of the head from Noiz. A hand presses lightly on my head and strokes my hair tenderly in greeting.
"Noiz? What are you doing here?" Koujaku questions, sitting next to the Ryhme fighter, bumping their fists in greeting.
"I came to check up on Aoba. He hasn't rang Tae-san and when you didn't answer your coil she worried a little and sent me over." Noiz lies for me. No, wait, he was being serious! Crap, I forgot to tell Tae-san that I wouldn't be going straight home like I normally do.
"Shit! I better go and call her." I excuse myself, exiting the lounge and heading into the bedroom. Opening my coil I scroll down to Tae-san's number and am about to call, when hands wrap around my neck and lips come close to my neck, causing me to flinch.
"Tell her you'll be staying another night." Koujaku breathes, pressing a light kiss on my skin and probably ignoring the little jump of surprise from me earlier.

Koujaku had insisted he stay with me overnight for the past couple of weeks, whether we sleep at his or mine. He'd hold me close under the sheets in that protective embrace I loved, his breathe smoothing over the back of my neck and he lay behind me. His tender lips pressed lightly against mine in assurance and his lips on my shoulders lulling me to sleep. He'd never take it further than kissing until I give him permission to continue his advances. But I havent yet gotten my courage back. Before it was just kind of spontaneous, we'd end up in each others embrace, kissing and then... Well... You get the idea. But now he could obviously feel my reluctance. Not because I didn't love him, but because I was scared of the memories it might bring back. He'd told me he'd wait for me forever if he needed to, but sometimes I wish he wouldn't. I feel like if he was to carry on with the romance, it might give me that push I need to get my confidence back. I can't help but feel like I'm causing him unnecessary trouble, but he never complained or argued, he seemed fairly content with waiting. At the moment, I'm lying on the couch in the lounge, the minuets slowly ticking by as. I look out the window at the night sky. I couldn't sleep again. Normally I would only get three hours most of sleep at night since the incident, but tonight something didn't feel right. I was on edge more than I usually am and its prevented me from getting to sleep at all. As by I can feel my eyes slowly shutting, exhaustion finally getting the better of me and putting my body to sleep. Koujaku would probably talk to me tomorrow about falling asleep on the couch but right now, I was just satisfied with the feeling of the calm abyss of sleep. Suddenly, I feel a hand run down my side and pushes up my shirt, slowly ravishing the skin underneath. My eyes spring open and Trips face is looking down at me, leaning forward to get to my neck. Quickly, I scramble off the cushions and look up, expecting to see the two making a grab for me. But no one was there. I collapse to the floor, breathe heavy breathes and tears slipping down my face. I was so tired I was now hallucinating?... Even the floor seemed comfortable...