A/N: Let's get us some main 4 lovin'. No not that kind. Get your mind out of the gutter this is war, people.
Enjoy~
The beginning of dawn was rising up across the horizon. He couldn't see it past the wall, couldn't see the sun starting its descent up into the sky, the cruel taunt that constantly reminded him of what they were: trapped. And never before had Kyle felt so trapped. Not when he was locked in the basement by Cartman when they were kids. Not when his mom grounded him for three months for telling her that Abraham could shove it up his ass for something-or-other they were arguing about. Not even when he was tied to a chair in the Nest. He had no idea where to turn anymore. For so long he'd found everyone relying on him, giving direct orders and watching them follow it to the letter. But he didn't want that responsibility, it came out of pure necessity.
This war was the furthest thing from necessary.
He shivered, grabbing his jacket from beside him and pulling it over its arm. His nose crinkled a bit. It stank like dirt and blood and sweat; the constant cologne that seemed to follow the team wherever they went. They washed their clothes in Starks whenever they could, but it was never something that they felt the constant need to do anymore. His finger traced over a hole in the fabric of his right sleeve, flickering his eyes down and grimacing at the bloodstain that he could never seem to wash away. It felt like so long ago he'd watched Trent's last breath, seen his first kill in the thick of it all. So long ago that he took a bullet in the arm because he couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut. His finger scraped lightly over his scar. It was a nasty, ugly gnarled thing. A knife digging through the skin and muscle wasn't exactly the most ideal of surgical procedures, but it was better than nothing. It'd long since healed, but the idea of what he was going to be thrown into made it throb dully, a reminder that he was human; that he could still break.
He sniffled, bringing his knees up to his chest and staring out over Starks with glistening eyes. He had to get out of the base, he couldn't stand everyone looking at him so worriedly. It'd taken another few hours before he had any use of his legs, and he practically ran out of the base as quickly as he could. The looks on their faces just stopped his heart. They all knew he was completely torn on the subject at hand, that even he couldn't just think his way out of this one. He couldn't make an impassioned speech and change everyone's mind and bring it all to a standstill. It just didn't work like that anymore.
"You're gonna catch a cold, ya know," a soothing voice washed over him. He looked back to see Kenny smiling at him crookedly, shoving Kyle's hat down on his head. "That jacket's seen better days."
He chuckled softly, "Yours, too, Bud." Ken looked down at his ratted parka, once the only thing that could keep him hidden from the world now torn to shreds. It bared his humanity, the one thing that the blonde hated to share.
He sighed, plopping down next to the redhead and looking at him with soft cerulean eyes. "Kyle, are you okay?"
He shrugged, nuzzling his chin down into his knees. "I...I really don't know, Ken," he answered truthfully. "Have you ever felt like...like the world weighed on you and only you? I don't want to be in the center..." he sighed irritably and hid his face in his legs. "Why me?" he whispered.
"Because you're too fucking smart for your own good, I've told you that a million goddamn times," another voice popped up. Kyle glanced to his right, seeing Stan and Cartman sitting on his other side staring at him. Stan smiled at him as reassuringly as he could muster, "Ky, you've been in the middle of conflicts like this a ton of times. You'll figure it out."
"But it's not the same," he said exasperatedly, uncurling his legs and leaning back propped up on his hands. He dug his fingers into the dewy grass and stared back out over the pond. "It's so different now. It's not me just trying to tell the adults that they're fucking stupid and to get over themselves. It's me being forced to choose between killing this town or killing the next..." he shook his head. "God guys, I'm so fucking lost right now. I've never felt like this."
They were silent a moment, following his stare out and over the pond. They knew he was right. They knew this wasn't something that he could weasel out of. Someone was going to die at the end of the day, and Kyle unfortunately was dubbed the executioner.
Kenny started laughing softly and they looked at him in confusion. "Do you guys remember how the four of us would come out here and fish? And...and one time Cartman got so mad that Kyle caught a bigger fish than he did that he threw him in the pond?"
"My hospital record from the resulting pneumonia remembers it well," Kyle rolled his eyes bemusedly.
"And if I remember correctly, the three of us went in while Fatass was sleeping and shaved his head after that whole incident," Stan smirked.
Cartman scoffed, "Whateva. I looked hot anyway so you never really got your revenge."
"Yeah. Hot," Kyle looked at him with a raised brow. "Items of your mass tend to be nothing but hot air." Cartman grabbed a handful of dirt, leaning past Stan and wailing it at the boy. The redhead laughed with the other two and brushed off the dust while Cartman muttered under his breath. Kyle looked at the three of them and cocked his head a bit once they settled, "How'd you guys find me, by the way?"
Stan shrugged, "Because this is where you always come when life is kicking you in the balls."
"Tell ya what, this kick may finally be the one to make it so I can't procreate," he muttered, leaning his cheek into his hand and sighing. "It's so weird but I keep wondering what my parents of all people would tell me to do," he winced. "I mean, I haven't depended on them for so long, even before all this mess started. But right now all I want is for my mom to lecture me on the proper way to eat my gefilte fish and my dad to just be sitting there mumbling his agreements."
Kenny placed a hand on his shoulder and nodded, "I get that. Hell you know how shit-tacular my parents were, but I'd like to see 'em again. Watch 'em throwin' Pabst cans at my head. Cuddlin' up with Kevin and Kar-," he paused and flinched, swallowing his tears down. "Karen to keep warm," he finished in a deadened whisper. The boys looked at him with heavy eyes. Losing Karen damn near killed Kenny. He'd done what Kyle had done with Ike, done everything to hide and protect her. But the one moment he wasn't looking, she was taken off in the death vans. That nearly broke him, until he realized that crushing in the Rats' heads would do more than him teetering on the edge of madness.
Kyle smiled softly at him and returned the gesture on his shoulder. "Hey, now she's your angel," he said gently.
"Pft," Kenny laughed, rubbing his eyes with his arm and blowing his bangs out of his face. "You're a corny motherfucker, Broflovski."
He shrugged sheepishly, "When haven't we been corny motherfuckers in these kinds of situations? I mean, Jesus Christ, we were the voices of reason so many goddamn times we should have opened up a fucking fortune cookie factory."
"Like they could've fit one of your massive Jew speeches on a piece of paper," Cartman scoffed.
Stan chuckled, "He's got a point."
"Oh gee, thanks," Kyle shoved him a bit, looking back towards the water. He sighed and shifted uncomfortably. "Guys?" They looked at him curiously. "Just...just imagine for one minute that you're me. Think about...all those kids. Think about what you'd have to do. Think about knowing that if you do this, you're going to wake up every morning just wanting to fucking kill yourself but knowing that you can't because then even more kids will die..." he paused, biting his lip and dropping his shoulders. "What would you do?" he finished in a whisper.
The three of them looked at each other with sorrowful, darkened eyes. It was a fair question, one that they had been expecting upon following him out to the pond. The only problem was, none of them really knew how to answer the inquiry. It was definitely a dangerous dance to think about, one where the wrong move sent everything spiraling completely out of control. Being the one leading the waltz was a lot to bear, even hypothetically.
"I..." Stan started, licking his lips and feeling the others staring at him intently. "If I were you, like, legitimately Kyle Broflovski you..." he turned and looked at his best friend and smiled a bit. "I'd be able to figure a way out of this. I'd be able to find a way to save the kids and myself. Because I'd be a stubborn-ass motherfucker and not be willing to lose," he shrugged.
Kyle laughed softly and ran his fingers up under his hat, scratching at his hair. "I think even my trademarked stubborn ass can't worm outta this one, Stan." He looked between them all and sighed, "Between the two viable options, which one do you think is best for everyone?"
Kenny frowned, "There's not only two options. You're Kyle fucking Broflovski. You always make a third one. Those Rat fuckers want you because you're smarter than they are, Dude. You can outmaneuver them any day of the week, and this is no different."
He looked at him skeptically, "Okay, for one thing, you people are sounding as fucking amazed by my existence as their commander, so knock off the compliments. For another, if it weren't for you three, I'd still be knocked out in cuffs right now. They can get the better of me..." he trailed off a bit and rubbed his arms self-consciously. "I...I feel like them capturing me just...shook my confidence in the whole thing, ya know?" he winced. "It's like now I know that they can beat me, they can tie me down and make me into their fucking puppet...For the first time since this whole mess started, I feel like we can't win," he whispered.
They stared at him, their hearts sinking at his words. "Ky..." Stan started before Kyle looked up at him with those glazed eyes again that sent the noirette's heart spiraling into blackness.
"Stan, you know me better than anyone," he reminded him. "When have you seen me lose like that?"
"I...I haven't," he answered honestly. "But Kyle, the only reason they 'got the best of you' was dumb luck. If that fucking branch hadn't broken, you and I would've gotten home and we would've just been listening to the bug's reports and you'd be planning our next attack. You didn't fail because of you," he bit.
"And what if I'm unlucky again?" he frowned angrily, grabbing a rock next to him and hurling it into the pond. "This next time it isn't just my ass on the line, it's everybody's! And...and I don't know if I can handle that..." he slammed his hands over his eyes and shook his head. "Jesus Christ why is this so fucking hard?" he whimpered.
"Because you're being a pussy-assed Jew about it, that's why," Cartman rolled his eyes. "Jesus, Kahl, stop being such a drama queen."
"I'm not being a fucking drama queen!" he hissed. "Cartman you have no fucking idea what I'm in the middle of here! I'm...I'm literally the only person on the front line against a goddamn army!"
"And you're sitting here bitching about it instead of doing what you know how to do and planning an out!" he retorted sharply. "Jew, wake the fuck up, brush off your fucking martyr syndrome, and make a fucking plan."
Kenny cleared his throat, "His words are...wrong," he said softly to the fuming redhead. "But...in a way he's right. Sitting here and moping over the decision won't get you anywhere, Ky. You have to figure out what to do that doesn't involve you handing yourself over. We're not stupid. We know that's what you would decide on..." he sighed as Kyle slowly looked over at him, shining eyes blinking at him innocently. It shook the blonde's nerve a bit. He hadn't seen Kyle looking so much like a child in so long, so lost and confused with someone needing to hold his hand. It was old territory that he would have to relearn. "Kyle, you're too important to us for us to just watch you put your hands behind your fucking back and be drug off."
"If I go with them, then the team doesn't need me any-"
"No," he snapped. "I mean you. Not 'badass military leader' Kyle. I mean 'my friend who always gives me the other half of his sandwich' Kyle."
"Dude, doing this fighting...it's been killing you," Stan interjected softly, drawing his attention back over. "This is the most emotion we've seen out of you in years."
He shied down and blushed a bit, clearing his throat. "Well...Christophe told me that I had to be strong or no one would...I guess I just took it to heart. But now I feel so fucking weak. I feel like the walls are crumbling down...and not the one that I want to fall," he gestured to the stone behemoth across the way.
"The only way that walls gonna fall is if you're there to help us with the hammer, Dude," Stan said. "If you leave, the only thing that'll happen with that wall is it'll get more plants on it. Because if you do this, if you go with them...who's to say they're not training kids to fight on homeland territory? What if you'd be leading a mass American genocide?"
Kyle's face dropped and he gulped. "I...I guess I just assumed that..."
"And maybe it is for actual war," Kenny interceded, realizing that Kyle was starting to break from extra options being laid on him. He grasped his arm gently and shook him. "But either way, you're not built for this. Don't get me wrong, you're awesome at what you do here, but you shouldn't be. You hate violence. You hate so many people depending on you. Your team numbers will be huge if you go through with this."
"Don't Jew out," Cartman offered unhelpfully.
Kyle looked at them and shook his head. "Fuck me, I don't...I just want to go back in time, ya know?" he bit his lip. "I want to tell my parents I love them. I want to send Ike up to Connecticut to stay with our aunt so he wouldn't have to live like this. I just want...to stop this all before it even happened." he looked up at the sky turning lavender and sniffled. "Now my only options are stop it before it gets further or lead it on into the fucking night...and I don't know how to stop it," he admitted. "Like I said, it's me versus everyone. I feel so lost."
Stan looped his arm around Kyle's shoulders and shook him a bit, "Do you remember when we were kids? How you stood up in front of so many people so many goddamn times and talked your way out of a battle?" Kyle nodded softly, leaning his head on Stan's shoulder with a sniffle. "Do that."
"Talking won't get us anywhe-"
"No," he paused him. "I mean go with your fucking instinct. Whatever your gut is telling you is the right thing to do, it's never taken you down the wrong way before."
"Ignore the instinct of your dirty Jew ancestors past, though," Cartman smirked. "Finding a sale on bagels won't help us any. HEY!" he shouted as Stan punched his arm, wincing and rubbing the appendage.
Kyle stared out past the pond over the wall, watching the very peak of the sun finally starting to crest over the stony blockade. He felt Kenny slide over and hold around him, too, all four of them staring at it in awe. "It's still out there," Kyle whispered.
"What is?" Kenny asked.
"The outside," he clarified. "It's still out there. Sometimes...you forget, ya know? Sometimes all you can think about is base or the Rats or something...but there's so much outside of here that they tried to make us forget."
"We're South Park kids," Stan smirked. "We're stubborn as fuck. They could never make us forget."
Kenny grinned at Kyle, "And you're the most stubborn of 'em all, Ky. You know how to get all of us back to the outside. We just need you to lead the masses into the fire," he flourished his arm dramatically across the sunrise.
Kyle froze at the words, his green eyes widening. The three of them looked at him with cocked brows as a sly grin slowly slid up his slender face. They couldn't help but smile back. They knew that face. It'd been the one that'd saved their asses time and again, and it wasn't ever more appreciated than in that moment. "Kyle?" Stan asked, his eyes dancing in excitement. "What's the plan?"
The redhead looked at them all and smirked, getting to his feet, helping Stan and Kenny up to theirs while Cartman struggled to stand up at their speed. "It's a long shot, but if we do it right, we'll end this fucking war once and for all."
"And just how do we do it?" Cartman crossed his arms impatiently.
That familiar stony gleam flashed back into Kyle's eyes and their grins grew wider. He chuckled deviously, pink tongue darting over his lips with a soft murmur, "Those fuckers don't know the half of what we can do. If they really wanted to take this plan of theirs further..." he paused and stared out at the sun with a small huff of a laugh, "they never should have started with South Park."
A/N: Agh I love the boys so much I just can't even. Agh. All righty we are hittin' the climax, y'all. Buckle on in.
Thanks for R&Ring!