The men laughed as they drank a little and enjoyed each other's company. Going over career choices and family, basically anything that popped up. What made Sam so good at cooking? Why Rhodes enjoyed making figures so much? Silly little things.

"Hey?" Sam laughed some, "Babysitter question: How do you punish them? So I can know for future reference."

"Normally a timeout is good for making them bored or fidget. Or even sending them to their room with no toys or anything. But when all else fails a good set of pops on the butt normally proves effective," he nodded, taking another sip.

"What do you use? A belt or something?"

The man quickly shook his head, "No, I've never been one for those. Even my dad didn't use those on me but once or twice. I was a decent kid, but he could dangerous with a ruler or one of those paint sticks," he laughed some, "He called it his whoopin' stick. It hurt."

"So what do you use on them? Got your own whoopin' stick?" he teased.

He shrugged, "I normally just use my hand. Or if they're really mischevious I'll take a spoon to them. But that isn't too often for Tony and so far not really needed for Bucky either."

So the brats were telling the truth, "Doesn't that hurt?"

"I'm pretty sure it does considering how hard it is for Tony to fake tears. Or do you mean my hand? If so, yeah it stings a bit, but I guess I'm just use to it." he shrugged.

He nodded, well if one had been using that for years they probably would build up a tolerance, same with burning one's self while cooking, "Ok, big question: What's with the whole 'mommy' deal?"

He chuckled a bit, "That was an inevitable question." he took another sip of his beer, both of them now on their third, "Well I've known Tony for over a decade at this point. If not over, close to one. I've always been looking out for him."

Sam nodded, leaning forward some.

"He's always been pretty reckless and just like everyone else I thought he was just a rich kid screwing around simply because he could. But it's a bit deeper than that. He hurts a lot, you know. He missed his parents and was just looking for ways to keep his mind busy.

"It took me longer to figure that out than it should've, but when I did I started covering for him. Not that it made a difference, people still just marked him as a spoiled, rich sh-t if you'll excuse the termanology." he sipped again, "But I still felt it was my job to help him out in any ways I could.

"As we got older and closer it didn't get much better. He got into drinking, gambling and other vices. I was always dragging him home and nursing him back to health when he went overboard, pulling him from fights and stuff. It got really frustrating after a while. Just before the whole Afghanastan thing happened he was at his climax of being self destructive.

"I almost went into a nervous breakdown during the months we were searching for him. At one point I had to pay some people out of my own pocket to search. By the end of the second month they assumed him dead and we were just looking for a body so I could give it a proper burial. You'll never believe the relief I felt when we not only found him, but he was alive," Rhodes sighed. "I guess thats when I had myself an epiphany."

"Total transformation time?"

"He was estatic to see me, but it waned after he realized the changes I was personally making to his life. No more smokes, no excessive booze, and no nonstop partying. I guess in his eyes I was putting him back in captivity after he'd just gotten out.

"It took weeks with Pepper and Happy's help before he got on a decent footing with it. And that was just getting rid of the vices. I had to FORCE him into the diapers, because he was just so against the idea of it. I can't begin to tell you how many times I was rushing him pants and doing laundry, because this is Tony. He can make a one man self defense and offense suit but doesn't know how to do laundry or even cook his own meals."

"I've noticed," Sam chuckled.

"I felt like we had stepped over a major milestone when he finally stopped fighting over wearing the pampers. So trust me, he has always been in denial about needing them, he's been that way to me too."

"Well what about the whole Whiplash thing?"

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "That was a huge spiral down for him and me. We got mad at each other and both turned." he shook his head, "I felt ashamed because I knew him longer than anyone and still just left him to himself. He was dying of blood poisoning so of course he was being reckless."

"Well you two did come back together in the end," he smiled some, putting a hand on the man's shoulder.

"Yeah, ever since then he's been pretty clingy."

"Thats pretty deep," Sam nodded, having a new level of respect for this man, most people would have given up a long time ago, "Ok, but what about the highchair, the mama and the smacking?"

"Well he actually started calling me 'mama' when he got back. It started as a snarky joke about me being a dictator and controlling his life," he rolled his eyes, "but after a while he just resigned to calling me that in a more affectionate matter. The highchair was actually a gift from Fury," he laughed.

"But I tried a punishment on him where I babied him for acting like a monster and, low and behold, he really liked the attention. He said that it was nice to be cuddled and held. So," he shrugged, "He likes to be babied. Not even sure if I should be surprised by that or not."

"I like being babied from time to time too but I'm not popping pacifiers in my mouth," Sam began gathering the bottles to toss in recycling.

"Well he's been sucking his fingers since I made him quit smoking. So I guess it gives him something to do with his hands and mouth. Just like that actor who use to always have a sucker in his mouth once he quit smoking."

Sam nodded in agreement. He had never smoked but he would agree it was some type of ordeal to quit, "Does he like getting spanked?"

"Ha, no!" he scoffed, "He hates it. According to him it's never even been a curious kink."

"Well what gave you that idea? 'Well he's in diapers and sucking his fingers, might'es well do this to make it all come together nicely'," Sam smirked.

"That actually started when he got back as well. He threw a fit at me for pouring his wine down the sink and crumbling his cigarettes," he rolled his eyes, "Brat threw a wrench at my leg, he knew he was in trouble."

Sam raised brows at the idea.

"That still wasn't the very first time I'd smacked him, but I guess that was the first time I actually broke him, so to speak. I mean he started crying and wouldn't stop, going on about how bad he always felt and how he thought I hated him and was going to abandon him like everyone else," he shook his head, "My poor baby."