ET Chapter 9: The Start of Something New
Gabriella wasn't sure why she done it. It wasn't in her plan.
Holidays at home weren't all too horrible, but tension from the last fight with her brother when he said certain-things-that-shall-not-be-said had an effect on the dinner.
She didn't want to come back to school. She was already more than tired with East High Shit and this boring town. She couldn't focus too much in classes,feeling so restless. So when free period came, she immediately took the chance to leave.
She'd be on her way to someplace by then if she hadn't heard the noise coming from the gym. Curious, she went in to see what was going on. Caught off guard, she watched the whole thing unfolded, erupting into a huge boom when pup finally was down to his knees by the ball and his dad, steaming and bright red in anger, left the room.
It was quite something to see. "Show" might be the right way to describe what she witnessed today in gym. A show she had to stay and watch till the very end, then slowly made her move as soon as the curtains went down.
She didn't know what to think other than the whole thing brought back a string of unpleasant, preferably-forgettable memories she'd rather not reflect on. She did know, though, it shocked her. Shocked her to see pup looking so down and sad, exactly like an abused puppy barely surviving a horrible beating.
She also knew something in her, no matter how much she didn't want it to, reached out and touched her on the very sensitive spot, making her want to cheer him up.
It's funny though. The very first thing she swore to herself was she wouldn't make any friends. No attachments, no distractions, nothing to threaten holding her back.
So why did something have to hit her when she saw the shattered look on his face?
What made her want to make him feel better? To make sure he was okay?
"Penny for your thoughts?" Pup asked, interrupting her thoughts. So far, he was the only person she knew from this generation who actually used weird phrases like that.
Gabriella broke out of her thoughts long enough to glance at the blue-eyed, brown-haired boy lying next to her before returning her gaze back up at the sky.
It was still hard to believe Mr. Goody-goody, two shoes, rule-enforcer Bolton actually left school with her. It was surprising, but it did show the kid had some guts, which she admired.
Getting out of the school was one thing. Finding a ride would be the real challenge. Since her bike was being borrowed, she planned to use her Charlie card for the bus and train. Pup, however, whom she suspected never used either in his life, insisted they take his car, even though she pointed out it'd be a dead giveaway he skipped. Still he insisted and she wanted to get out of there, so she followed him to his car. A car, just as she expected, that was expensive and clean, looking like he got it only yesterday with the fresh smell that fragranced the air as they got in.
Once she gave him the directions to their distinction, the car ride was mostly silent. She had herself some more cigarettes, looking out the window and blowing out the smoke. He kept his eyes mostly on the road, though from time to time she'd feel his eyes shift to her, as if he was making sure she was really there.
Half an hour later, he parked his car in front of the park. She got out and led the way through the playground, through the meadow, up to a small clearing he never been to before that led to a huge hilltop hidden behind bushes and trees. The sun finally came up. And while it wasn't exactly bright and sunny, there was some sunshine so warm and nice. Embedded in the soft, warm grass were pretty flowers, flowers, and more flowers smelling fresh and sweet from dandelions to lilies. By the right of the hillside was a lake, clam and steay, which added more to the peaceful effect.
"Never took you for a nature girl, Montez." Troy commented, looking around the area. Turning back, he saw Gabriella walking up near the top of the hilltop and lay down. A moment or two passed before he decided to join her, making sure there was space between them.
"There's a lot you don't know about me, pup." She closed her eyes, got herself into a more comfortable position in the grass, and sighed, satisfied.
Of all the places, this had to be the last place he ever thought she'd take him to. He guessed the mall, her house, Vicznor's to work on the dancing, hell, even a bar to celebrate happy hour. The meadow was so peaceful and quiet. You couldn't hear anything except nature at it's' work. It was almost like-
"Being in a magical world where nothing can hurt." Gabriella finished his thought.
"Yeah," he agreed. "Exactly like that." He didn't know which was weirder. Gabriella somehow knowing what's going through his head or her taking him here. To what felt like her own private area. He almost felt like an intruder.
She nodded and stretched her arms over her head before folding them behind her head.
"Why did you bring me here?" he asked.
She made no reply. He asked how did she know about this place, but once again she made no comment. With her eyes closed and her body relaxed, she looked like she was sleeping. But he knew otherwise; she was ignoring him.
"What's the point of bringing me here if you aren't going to answer my questions?"
"You ask a lot of questions for a pup," was all she said.
Groaning loudly in frustration, Troy flopped back onto the grass.
Once he relaxed a bit, he admitted quietly, also a bit shyly to Gabriella's ears, he loved the quiet. She soon told him in return she found this place shortly after she came to Albuquerque. She loved going to parks when she lived in New York, it followed her here. She did some exploring around the park, found this area no one probably has never been to before, and made it her spot.
"Like a secret hiding place?" She thought about it before nodding. Troy asked. "What about Vizcnor's?"
She shrugged, saying "No law saying a person can't have more than one place where they can relax? Look at the Jersey Shore cast. Every nightclub and bar is their sanctuary. With Kim K, she finds her in boys that are destined to become her exes in…72 hours. At least."
They both laughed at her joke, and Troy was treated to hearing her soft, bubbly laughter up close in person.
"Can I ask you something?" he said.
"Aren't you already doing that?" He shook his head at her, choosing to ignore her smart-mouthed questions.
"I'm being serious," He looked her in the eye and asked. "Why haven't you asked or said anything about what you saw back in the gym?'
Gabriella knew what he was talking about. She knew he was waiting for an answer. How she was going tell him was proving to be a challenge.
She concentrated on the sky and finally said "It's not like my place to demand a story you aren't ready to share. Some people may be like that, but I'm not one of them."
The craziest thing was he believed her. This wasn't the first time she seen him in his not-so great moments and always never said anything. Like how she saw the scars, courtesy of dear dad, when he came to the dance studio and only moved onto dancing, like it wasn't a big deal. His respect for her, this strange girl, deepened.
That could be what made him what to tell her about her brother, a very sensitive subject people barely breathed a word about for the past five years. It made no sense because it was a subject he hated to talk about, be reminded of, and or reflect on. But something inside him was pushing him towards him to ignore old wounds and just tell. And so he did.
"My brother, Mike, was everything. In one word, he was perfect. It was even everyone's nickname for him because he was the definition of perfection. He had perfect looks, perfect grades, was the perfect basketball captain. Everything and anything needed to be done; Mike was always the person to do with such perfection and style. I should have been pissed about that, right? Pissed about having a brother so perfect, no one notices me?"
He didn't wait for her answer and continued. "Maybe I should have been," he shrugged. He couldn't even look at Gabriella, not wanting to see anything resembling sympathy. It stung the first time around when his entire family looked at him-or barely looked at-during the awkward Thanksgiving dinner. It would be ten times, a hundred times more badly if it came from a stranger. "Honestly, in another life, I probably would be, but I wasn't. Other than being perfect, Mike was great at being supportive. Just being there. He always there for me. He was my protector, my best friend, and my role model. Everything I ever wanted to be. Then he died. My parents were torn apart, especially my dad."
Gabriella listened attentively as he went on while he was half-presented in the reality and half-lost in his memories.
"They were so busy with their grief; they forgot they still had another kid. Not that it mattered to them. I was always least important to them. Fast-forward to years later, they're still buried in grief but finds ways to deal with it. My mom with work, my dad…by trying to make me him. Problem is we both know I can never be him, which is why he always gets so mad. Half the time they, mainly my dad, give a vibe that screams the wrong kid died."
To her credit, Gabriella didn't flinch or looked a bit surprised. He guessed because she somehow felt like that by someone else.
He told her how Mike was everyone's favorite cousin, nephew, and, of course, son. Because Mike was so great and Troy so wasn't, he was invisible to everyone and was known as the second Bolton as oppose to Perfect, easily forgettable.
"I try to make up for what happened, to be my own person, but I don't even know who I am. Even when I try to do well in everything from my 4.0 grade point average to my skills in basketball, I'm still invisible to my parents. Nothing I ever do will matter to them. To this day, I'm still living in Mike's shadow."
When he finished, Gabriella took in a deep breath as she shook her head and let it out slowly, taking in all she had been told. "I think I know how it feels to be unwanted."
Puzzled, Troy raised his brow questioningly. Gabriella didn't look at him but did elaborate.
"I never knew my father. I don't know his name, where he is, nothing. Nada. There are only two things I know about him: I got half my Filipina genetic makeup from him and I'm a product of a one-night stand. My mother wasn't very useful about information because she barely remembers that night. All she knows was some dark-haired guy was hovered over her and she was beyond stoned. She doesn't remember anything else."
Hot damn, he thought. Somehow he had an idea her house life wasn't that great, but didn't imagine it was like that. Not knowing what your own parent's like was unbelievable. Troy may not like his father, much less love, but at least he knows what he's like.
Gabriella continued on, either not noticing or plainly ignoring the look in his eyes as they watched her. She knew it was pity, a thing she absolutely hated above all things. "Almost the same story with my brother. His dad may have stuck around longer, but he bailed as soon as she found out she was pregnant. He may have an asshole, but at least he was smart, though. Leaving as soon as he could."
She had a smile on her face as she breathed a cold, bitter-like laugh to herself. An odd smile that was almost pity-like, bitter, and amused all rolled into one.
"His dad?" Troy asked, confused.
"His dad," she nodded and explained more. "My brother and I are half siblings. One mother, two different fathers. Or sperm-donators, as we like to call them."
Oh, Troy mumbled in his head.
"She didn't keep us because she wanted to. She had to. She barely had enough money to get by, much less enough to get rid of two unwanted brats. 'Brats' was her favorite name for us. Brats, unwanted and unneeded, she was cursed with, and reminded us constantly how if she had the chance, we'd be aborted in a heartbeat. I remember once, when I was three years old, we were all at the park. I was on the swing and fall hard onto the ground. I was bleeding, my knee was really banged up, and she was sitting on a bench smoking, watching me. She didn't come to me, didn't cuddle me, or didn't comfort me. She looked at me, covered in dirt with my bloody knee, like I was dirt itself. She just sat there and watched me, waiting for me to cry. I knew she was disappointed when my brother immediately came over to help me and I didn't cry the whole time. But I fully understood then how very little she cared about us. I understood then how much she hated me. How much she hated us."
Troy was baffled. At three years old? At that age, from he remembered from his childhood, a kid's completely innocent, too young to know such a thing. But for Gabriella, that was the age she knew what she and her brother meant to her mother: nothing. Not only did she not care about them, but she hated them.
"Jesus…Gabriella…I don't know what to say." As lame as that sounded, it was all he could say. What else could anyone say after hearing that?
Gabriella shrugged, as if she didn't except anything else. The entire time she spoke, she kept her eyes on the sky while her voice was flat, as if she wasn't talking about her life but someone else. He also noticed how she didn't address her mother as mom, used the term mother only once, and mostly referred to her as she, showing much mother-dearest meant to her. Or how very little she meant to Gabriella like how she and brother meant very little to her.
Troy knew he should say something, something else because he didn't know what to say. Half of his conscious told him he should tell her her mother had to have some sort of care for her kids. Because she was her mother. She had to have clothed them, fed them. But then he realized he'd be such hypocrite if he said that. After all, his dad never made it no surprise his own conception was a less than welcome surprise. Gabriella's mother seemed like a female, possibly dark-haired version of Jack.
"You didn't have to tell me that." he said once he found his voice.
"I know," she nodded while she shrugged like it was no big deal. Then she turned to him and gave him something neither of them thought would ever be possible. She actually smiled at him, a soft and small smile that made her look even more beautiful as it did this morning. When she smiled at the other guy. "But I wanted to."
Despite the memory of her and the guy and their moment racing through his head, Troy couldn't resist smiling back at her, seeing her smile.
It then dawned to him they were alone, completely alone for the first time in weeks since their first dancing session. They were lying close to each other, he realized. They actually opened up to each other. And she was actually smiling, looking so beautiful. Whatever would have happened the last time or was about could easily happen again if he leaned in closer to her. It was that easy.
But could he do it? Would that make him an asshole if he kissed her after they shared a very rare, very real moment? Would she even let him if he did? Troy thought hard about it.
Gabriella knew that look. She had seen it millions of times with boys who'd give anything to have a moment to be with her. He was no different. There was the obvious lust in his eyes he couldn't hide, but the intensity behind it was deeper than what she was used to, which tipped her off.
"You wanna kiss me?" Although she already knew too well, she still wanted to hear it.
Holy Crap! His cheeks aflame in mortification, and, while he was kicking himself repeatedly for being so obvious, he cleared his throat and answered as dignified as he could "Someday, yeah."
Despite the blushing, he managed to be his usual, serious self as he answered. That was interesting to Gabriella.
What the hell? She shrugged to herself. After she sat up, she turned her body completely toward him, leaned forward, and waited.
Troy sat up, too, and gulped.
It would have been too easy for him to do it. To lean forward and finally do what he has been dreaming of for weeks now. She was beautiful, different, tempting, and gave him permission to do it. But…he remembered about the guy she rode with. The one she hugged, smiled at, laughed at, and kissed. Even though Gabriella was the definition of temptation herself and despite every being in his body urged him to forget about it and kiss her, he couldn't ignore his morals. He may not like mystery boy, but did have some respect not to make a move. He wasn't the type of guy to kiss another guy's girl and wouldn't start now.
"I can't," Gabriella stared at him like he was insane. He knew he was, because a huge part of him kicked him hard for not doing it. Still he couldn't. "It's not right. You may do shit like that, but not me. Besides I'm actually doing you a favor. You'd only feel like shit in the morning if you dove right in."
When he saw the look in her eyes, he hit himself hard in the head for saying the last part. Those words sounded so much better in his head than out loud.
She managed to kept her face calm while her eyes were anythung but. Gabriella wasn't an idiot; she could easily read between the lines. The look she gave him was one of the darkest, coldest stares he ever saw in his life. A hundred times worse than his dad's stares that not only frightened him, but had him trembling when he looked into those eyes. "Think I'm a slut or something?"
It was hard to talk and not appear scared by those frightening, hard eyes, but somehow he was able to say something. Taking in a deep breath, he forced himself to meet those eyes. "Call me crazy, but no. I don't think you're a slut. In fact, quite the opposite. Unlike the other tramps in East High, you barely do anything and still nearly all the guys in school want you. I'm just saying you shouldn't sell yourself so short."
For the first time since they've been meeting, he actually said something so shocking Gabriella had no words. She honestly couldn't believe he said that. It was the first time in the longest time anyone said something remotely close to that. She didn't know what to make of it.
She looked away for a moment, and then returned her gaze back to him, her eyes steady and firm but still frightening in a way. Troy's body tensed as those eyes watched him, waiting for…something, even though he had no idea what to expect. He did kind of insult her, although it wasn't his intention. He thought maybe she'd swing a punch at him, slap him across his face, or shoot back a remark bound to crush him.
Gabriella kept her eyes locked on his, leaned in towards him, and kissed him.
On the left cheek, close to his lips, with her lips that were every bit as firm and soft like they were in his dreams. Then slowly she pulled back.
Approximately three seconds later.
Those three seconds had to be the longest seconds of his life. It seemed to go on and on forever, and he was paralyzed all throughout, unable to think. Once her lips touched his skin, powerful electric shocks shot through his body, coming together to burst into one blast. When she pulled back and looked at him, her intoxicating scent brutally assaulting him, he fought every urge to pull her back in and kiss her properly on the lips.
She smirked at him knowingly, like she knew exactly what she done to him and loved it. "You said someday you might kiss me. But it doesn't mean the someday rule apply to me kissing you, pup."
She got up and walked back to the car, not looking back once to see if he was following behind because she already knew he was.
He did. Wit his hand holding the cheek that had the chance to feel her lips, his mind jumbling with too many thoughts while his heart was racing with every step of the way.
Dear God help me, he thought. No matter how hard he tried not to, no matter how much he didn't want to, what he thought would never happen actually happened. I've fallen for her.