A/N- Hey, guys. Thanks for all the reviews, I love reading them. Let me know what you think of this chapter! I'll try to get the next one up soon.
Back at Stan's place, we lay on his couch with the blinds closed. There's something comforting- if a little depressing- about watching cartoons in the dark. He jumped at the chance when I mentioned the idea to him. I guess he really didn't want to run in to Wendy. I'm not sure what exactly happened between the two of them other than that they fought, but it seems to have hit him harder than usual.
I hear him sniffle every once in a while. I feel bad for being so caught up in Kenny. I don't think I have it in me to comfort Stan this time. It's good that he seems like he just wants to sulk in the dark, too. It's certainly all I want to do after the day I've had.
My phone buzzes and both me and Stan jump. I sigh loudly before checking it.
hey, man where are you? I'm ready to leave
Well, I was feeling calm. Somehow, Kenny always manages to ruin that.
I left early. Wasn't feeling well.
I am about to put my phone down when it goes off again.
sorry, man, I hope you feel better. still want to drive me to school tomorrow?
I make an honest effort to say no. I think of excuses, like I'm getting a ride with Stan, or my car isn't working, or I'm feeling too sick to go to school tomorrow. But I just keep realizing how hard it is for me to say no to Kenny McCormick.
Yeah, sure, see you tomorrow.
"I don't think we're gonna make it this time, Ky," Stan says suddenly, his voice rough and cracking. It sounds like he's been smoking and crying simultaneously. The sound of it hurts my chest.
"What makes you say that?" I reply. My voice sounds scratchy, like I haven't used it in days.
"She's right, you know? How could we possibly make it in college? We've been on and off for six years. It's ridiculous." He tries to keep his tone matter-of-fact but falters at the end. This is how Stan deals with serious issues that upset him. He tries to be reasonable about it and he tries to be logical, but that guy has always been all heart. He rarely makes decisions based on logic, meaning this is Wendy talking. This must be what she said to him. He's just repeating it because he doesn't know how to be rational, especially when it comes to Wendy.
"I'm sorry, man," is all I can say.
He shrugs. "Maybe it's for the best." He bites at his fingernails and stares at the ground.
"To be honest, dude, I always thought you deserved better than her," I reply.
He lets out a short, forced chuckle. "Yeah, you never really made that a secret."
"Well, I stand by it. You and Wendy are different, you know? She's a robot, man. She can turn her feelings on and off. She can think about love rationally, like it's a math formula. People aren't supposed to do that. They're not supposed to be able to. You deserve someone who loves you so much that they can't think about it rationally. Like what you were for Wendy."
Stan smiles weakly and glances over at me. "Thanks, Ky." He sighs and rubs his eyes a little. "What about you? Why'd you have to run out for the day?"
I shake my head. "I don't know. Just having an off day, I guess."
"Did the reunion not quite meet your expectations?" he replies.
I look up, a little surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Come on, Ky. Kenny'd been gone a while. Then he comes back and all of a sudden, you can't stand to be at school?" Stan raises an eyebrow at me.
I shoot Stan a glare but I can't hold eye contact for very long. "This has nothing to do with Kenny."
"I call bullshit," he says, but he doesn't press the matter further. We sit there in silence for a little while and I guess it makes me want to talk about it more.
"He just- he acts like nothing happened. I just want to know what happened," I say after a while.
"That's just how he is. You know Kenny." He says it casually, and I frown.
"I don't think I do," I reply quietly. "He's so confusing."
"You know, sometimes, when you talk about him, it sounds like me when I talk about Wendy," he says, giving me a look.
"What exactly are you implying?" I say, my voice getting cold.
He shrugs and looks back at the TV. "Just something to think about, Ky. Don't get all pissed."
I open my mouth to reply, but I don't know what to say. I mean, Kenny has been occupying a lot of my thoughts lately. Even when he was missing, I thought about him constantly almost. And now that he's back, I can't stop thinking about him at all. Honestly, it seems a little obsessive and I'm not sure why. Maybe I should take a break, give myself some time and space away from Kenny. This can't be healthy or normal.
"I kissed him," I blurt out before I can stop myself. Stan does respond for a few seemingly endless moments, and I chew my lip, wishing I hadn't said anything. Stan doesn't respond for so long, I start feeling like maybe I didn't actually say anything at all, or maybe he just hadn't heard and I'm saved.
"Wow, um. This is news. Why?" he replies, looking at me, his dark blue eyes wide and confused. He looks more intrigued than anything else.
I shrug as casually as I can manage. "It was the night of the party. He carried me to my room and I kissed him before I fell asleep. I was drunk, who knows why I did it?"
He shakes his head and exhales. "Well, you know what they say. Drunk words, sober thoughts or whatever."
"Stan-" I say, warning in my voice.
"Maybe that's why he left," he interrupts, clearly not really paying attention to me.
"What?" I reply, a little taken aback.
"Well he'd just been getting over Craig, you know?" Stan says, turning towards me. "So maybe he was starting to get feelings for you, or maybe he was thinking about Craig again, and you kissing him just-" He cuts himself off and his face softens as he looks at me. "Or, you know, it could be something else entirely, what do I know?"
"It was just a drunk peck on the lips. Hardly something to skip town about," I say, rolling my eyes and trying to look nonchalant.
"Whatever you say, man. I'm sure you know him better than I do." He relaxes back onto the couch and we keep mindlessly watching the screen.
It's nice to sit here like this, in silence with my best friend. It feels like we haven't done much of this since we were kids. It feels safe, I guess. Like if everything else is going wrong, at least I always have Stan. The world could be ending, but me and Stan could just hide in here watching bad movies until it all falls apart. It's comforting.
The next day, Kenny is waiting outside his house by the time I get there. I kind of messed around at home, getting ready really slowly and basically just putting off driving here.
His face lights up when he sees me drive up and my chest hurts. He scampers over to the car- I don't know how else to describe it- and jumps into the passenger seat.
"Hey, Ky!" he chirps. "You're a little late. That never happens."
My skeleton feels stiff under my skin and I feel like I'm going to have trouble turning the car. "Yeah, I guess I slept late today."
"You guess?" he laughs and shakes his head. "As though you're uncertain."
I don't respond and I can feel his eyes burning into me.
"Are you avoiding me?" he says, but his tone has a smile in it.
"That's an interesting question, coming from you," I reply without thinking about it.
He gets quiet for a moment and I glance over at him. A small smile appeared on his lips. "I wasn't avoiding you specifically. That was just a side effect, love."
I stiffen at the pet name. "Whatever," I answer.
He chuckles a little and then we drive in silence for a few minutes. Then I glance over at him and notice that he's giving me a look and smirking. "So, Kyle," he says. "You kissed me."
My eyes snap back to the road and I can't quite explain why, but I slam my foot on the accelerator. I drive more recklessly than I ever have before, speeding like crazy and not slowing down on the turns. Kenny bursts out laughing and begins to cheer and I drive faster.
It's exhilarating, moving so fast through the world and yet staying mostly still. My arms are stiff and my elbows are locked but I am flying. Kenny sticks his arm out the window and grins at me like a maniac. I start laughing, because I don't know what else to do, and so does he. It feels like a perfect moment.
And then I hear the sirens behind me and the panic sets in. I slow down carefully and the lack of wind shooting through the car feels far too quiet. As I pull over, I glance at Kenny, who seems unfazed. I, on the other hand, feel like crying.
Officer Barbrady pulls himself out of the car and saunters over and I just get more and more anxious.
"Mr. Broflovski," he says when he gets to the window in his slightly too loud, absent minded voice. "I didn't think I'd be pulling you over."
"Sir, I'm so sorry, we were just late to class, and-" I start.
"Young man, do you know how fast you were going?" he interrupts.
I pause and consider how to respond. "Not exactly, no."
Kenny leans over me and smiles at the cop. "Do you know how fast we were going?"
"Well, I-"
"Because the last time I checked, your radar gun was broken. Is it still?"
Officer Barbrady tilts his head slightly to the side. "Yes?"
"Well, then you can't really say for sure what our exact speed was, can you?" Kenny's tone is mildly condescending, and I'm sure any other officer would've been pissed. Officer Barbrady just innocently puts his hand on his chin like he's thinking really hard.
"I guess not."
"Sir, I'm reasonably certain Kyle here was driving the speed limit. In fact, I believe he was driving five miles under the speed limit."
Officer Barbrady pauses again. "Really?"
"Yes," Kenny says and his voice is even more condescending. "So there's really nothing to see here, okay?"
"Okay! Just move along then, get to school!" he replies cheerfully as he walks back to his car.
Kenny chuckles a bit. "Will do, sir."
I'm a little stunned for a moment and I just stare at him. He grins back a lifts an eyebrow.
"What?" he says.
I shake my head. "That just seemed too easy."
"It's Officer Barbrady, Ky. What did you expect?" he replies with a laugh. "How many times do you think he's pulled me over?"
I scoff and start the car up again. I drive the rest of the way to school still a little too fast, running stop signs and turning quickly. Since I procrastinated and we got pulled over, we really should've been late to class but the speeding helps a surprising amount and we end up right on time.
He grins at me as he leaves the car. "See, I'm not the only one who goes out of my way to avoid things."
I glare and open my mouth to respond, to defend myself and say that I didn't disappear and it's not the same and he caught me off guard. But before I can, he reaches over a squeezes my hand once before pulling away.
He smiles big, all his teeth showing, and winks at me. "See you after school, love," he says. And then he scampers away like a puppy and I'm left standing in the parking lot, heart beating fast, unable to remember what class I have first period.