A/N- Almost done with this story. There might only be one or two chapters left. I'm not sure. Let me know what you think!
My first class feels like it lasts forever. I can practically hear the ticking of the clock echoing in my bones. The teacher drones on in a monotone and my skin feels heavy. I don't want to be here, and I'm still kind of pissed my mom didn't think getting in a car accident was a good enough reason to miss a day of school.
Honestly, I want to check up on Kenny. See if he's awake yet. I really, really hope he's okay. He has to be. I'm okay, so it wouldn't make sense if he wasn't, too. Or at least, this is what I tell myself over and over and over throughout this agonizingly long class period.
I look at the clock and only a minute has passed since the last time I looked at it. I tell myself that I won't look at it, I won't, staring at the clock will only make this day go by slower.
So I look at the clock again. The seconds feel way longer than usual. It's like the second hand is taking its sweet time. I swear I even see it go backwards once.
The teachers voice sounds muffled, like I'm hearing it through a wall from the other room. I feel like this isn't real, like it's a dream or something. I kind of hope that it is a dream and I'll wake up and the car crash will never have happened. That would be nice.
I pinch myself to test it. I'm not dreaming.
Which suddenly makes me really, really sad and my chest hurts and I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. But it's not socially acceptable to do that at school so I just lay my head on my desk.
As I close my eyes, the world feels like it's spinning and fading. I'm exhausted and I just want to lay down forever. Which is also not socially acceptable.
I guess I fall asleep, because the next thing I know, there's a hand on my shoulder and a voice saying my name. I jumped up a little bit, and Craig was standing there.
"Hey, Ky," he says. He called me Ky? "Class is over."
I don't know Craig that well, but it sounds like he's straining his voice to try to make it sound less apathetic and sarcastic than it usually does. "Oh, right," I mumble, gathering my things.
"You doing okay?" he asks. He's frowning a bit. I can't tell why.
"Yeah, I'm good," I say, though I do feel quite faint and a little too warm and really not very good at all.
"Uh, I was just wondering, um," he starts. And then I understand, because he clearly doesn't really want to hear how I'm doing after the car accident. "Do you know how Kenny is doing?"
And there it is. I feel a little sick. "No," I say, and my voice it sounds cold. I don't mean for it to.
"Sorry," Craig replies, reach up to rub his neck. His hand looks like it's shaking. "Sorry, I'm just worried, you know? I care about the guy."
I sigh as I stand up and collect my things. "I know, man. I really don't know how he is, though."
"It's just that- we talked yesterday, me and Ken. It was kind of an argument, and I don't want… It's the last thing I said to him, you know?" Craig continues, as though I could have any help for him.
It feels weird, to be in this position. Craig and I only have Kenny in common. Not that long ago, I was asking him for insight about Kenny. And now, I don't really know what he wants. "I'm sorry," is all I can think to say.
Craig just shrugs. "I'm going to skip to go see him. I'll be back at lunch probably."
"Alright," I say, a little confused. I'm not sure why he's telling me this.
"I'll let you know how he is," he adds.
"Thanks," I say as he starts to walk away. He just nods.
By the time lunch rolls around, I'm so tired I can barely hold my eyes open. I'm so tired I feel like I need to take shots of espresso. I'm so tired that I feel a little dizzy, that I can't keep my eyes focused on anything, that I'm having trouble paying attention. You get the idea.
I walk into the cafeteria, don't bother getting myself any food and walk over to my table. Stan is already there, along with both Butters and Cartman. Which surprises me.
As I sit down, I do notice a very clear tension between them. They seem to be making a very deliberate effort to not look at each other and they're leaning away from one another ever so slightly.
Stan immediately turns to me. "Why didn't you get any food?" he says, sounding almost angry.
"I'm not hungry," I reply. "Way too tired to eat."
Cartman scoffs. "How can you be too tired to eat? That doesn't make any sense."
Butters seems to lean away and tense up as Cartman speaks, and Cartman seems to notice out of the corner of his eye because he closes his mouth very quickly and stares down at his food.
"Seriously, though," Stan says, ignoring them. "You need to eat."
"No, I don't," I say with a sigh. "I need to sleep."
"Should I go get you something? They have tater tots."
I roll my eyes. "I'm fine, Stan, really."
"Ky!" I hear someone call from behind me. I turn to see Craig walking up to me.
"Since when does he call you Ky?" Stan mutters to me, sounding amused. I chuckle in response, but mostly just for Stan's benefit.
Craig gets to the table, looking a little out of breath and very annoyed. "So I just got back from the hospital."
"Yeah?" I say, sitting up and leaning toward him. "And?"
"And they kept avoiding my questions," he replies, his voice less monotone than usual. "Like, they wouldn't even tell me his room number at first."
"Did you see him?" I ask.
"Not exactly," he says. He says it with exasperation dripping from his voice.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I say, confused.
"He wasn't in his room. Apparently, he woke up and bolted," Craig says, his voice escalating to anger. "Which is exactly something Kenny would do."
"But, wait, that means he's okay, right?" I say, and I swear, I'm almost standing up to leave before I remember that I can't.
"Aw, Kyle's so happy about his boyfriend! You going to go make out with him, gay boy?" Cartman says in a sing-song voice. I'm about to glare at him and tell him to shut up, when Butters abruptly stood up.
"That's it, I've had it," he snaps, glaring at Cartman. And then he turns to the rest of us and points at Cartman. "Eric has been acting like a homophobic asshole, but he kissed me the night of the party."
"Butters!" Carmen said, voice high pitched and a little angry.
Butters head snapped back to look at Cartman. "There," he said, voice low. "Now it's not a secret anymore." Then he stormed toward the door.
Cartman looked at us sheepishly, mouth open, like he wanted to say something. His face was red and I swear it looked like he was tearing up. Then he got up suddenly and half ran over to the door that Butters was almost out of. Over at the table, we were dead silent, just staring at them.
Cartman reaches out to touch Butters' shoulder and Butters pulls away and glared. It's like watching a movie. I can't hear what Cartman was saying, because his voice was low, but he was moving closer to Butters as he talked. He carefully slips his hand into Butters' and Butters almost immediately dives in and kisses him.
Stan turns to me, frowning. "Did you see this coming at all?"
"Um, I feel like I should've," I respond.
Craig lets out a sigh like he'd been holding his breath. "Well, anyway, Kenny is awake, but is also an asshole."
I nod. "Sounds about right. I'll see if I can go find him after school."
"Yeah, good luck," Craig grumbles. "Punch him in the arm for me if you find him."
"Yeah, will do," I say with a chuckle.