ET Chapter 19: Breaking Walls and Revealing Confessions

The rooftop at East High wasn't much as a rooftop, but more so an exotic nature garden of some sort with its exotic flower beds and trees filling nearly every inch of the place, giving the place such an unusual blend of fresh scents.

She loved the rooftop because it gave her complete privacy to read write or even dance if she was in the mood without having an unwanted audience making her a spectacle.

Today, though, she hated the fact she had go up to the rooftop. She resented every step she was taking that brought her closer to Pup.

A part of her, the bad-ass Montez, was stunned that she was actually going through with this shit. She wasn't one to take orders; she was the one to fuck orders off because no one ordered her around. Issue was Bolton made it clear he wasn't going to leave her alone until they talked. A talk that will likely involve him doing all the talking and she all the listening. Christ knows it was one conversation she not looking, but it's always better to rip the bandage off in a flash than to do it slowly.

Taking the last step up, Gabriella was immediately surrounded by all kinds of flowers and plants. Amazingly, the flowers were still around and blossoming. Winter barely hit Albuquerque, unlike other places like New York where it was a 24/7 snow blizzard.

The mixed scent of nature almost made her smile. Almost, till she spotted him.

Bolton was seated onto the ceiling rails in the center of the roof. He spotted her before she spotted him. He had an odd expression on his face, like he couldn't tell whether he should show relief that she was there or keep his distance because of the dark frown on her face. He leaned more toward the caution, sitting right down while Gabriella slowly walked over to him. "You came."

No shit, Sherlock, she thought, rolling her eyes. She searched through her bag for her Marlboro pack, fishing out a cigarette.

"You're lucky I needed a cigarette break." She stuck the lit cigarette in her lips, taking a long drag. From the corner of her eye, she noticed the unmistakable sour look on Bolton's face as she smoked. For some reason seeing that pissed her off more it should. He knew she smoked, so it wasn't like it was some big secret. Taking another drag, she blew the smoke directly into his face, throwing the Stiff into a coughing fit. 'You have five minutes. Go."

"Charming," Cough. "As." Cough-cough. "Always, Montez."

Gabriella smirked at him as she took another drag, blowing the smoke above her head. "Where I come from, Bolton, you need charm to survive."

He spent a good half minute coughing like crazy. Once he was able to breathe, he released a big breath and then lightly tapped his chest, as if there were some smoke left over in there. Looking up at Gabriella, who was concentrating on the bed of lilies in front of them, he said "I'm sorry that I hurt you."

Hurt who!? Stunned his words, she inhaled too quickly and nearly coughed her lungs out. She smacked away Bolton's hands that tried to touch her and went through the painful, coughing fiasco until she was able to finally catch her breath.

"Hurt who?" she asked in disbelief.

"You," he answered. Out of all the conversations the two had, this was the first one Bolton had the surprise upper-hand. "You were really hurt by what my dad thinks of you, what I said, and what you thought I meant. I'm really sorry you took it to heart. It was never my intention."

Hurt her? Taking his crap to heart? Never his intention? What the hell! Gabriella stared at Troy, unsure how to process what she was hearing.

"Gabriella?" He waved a hand in front of her face. "Are you there?"

He repeated her name again, getting closer to her. Then he was almost knocked out by the incredibly loud laughter that burst out of her.

Gabriella laughed such a big, uncontrollable laugh that shook her small body. She tried covering her mouth to contain it, but the laughter refused to die down. It seemed like the more she tried to stopping laughing, the harder and louder she laughed.

"You actually think…you…hurt…me." It was hard to understand her. She looked into his confused face and laughed so hard, she was crying. She moved away from Troy, walking over to the side, hands pressed against her stomach, head thrown back, tears that flowed down her cheeks.

"Gabriella," he repeated again.

"You know what's so funny, Bolton," she said, still laughing. "The first time I met you, I knew you were nothing but a puppy. A little, scared puppy," She wiped away a tear. "Now I realize something. You're not only a pup," With each word she spoke, her laughter died down and her voice grew louder, more angrily. "You're a weak, spineless, full-of-fucking-shit, craps-for-brains asshole!"

His eyes narrowed coldly: not that Gabriella gave a shit. Let him get offended. She could care less. "Is that what you think?" he demanded. "That I'm a scared little puppy afraid of my own shadow."

Gabriella let out a breath of coldly amused laughter that was brittle as glass. "Not think, Bolton. Know. It's a goddamn common fact."

Troy took an angry step closer, his face becoming ugly as a nasty scowl formed on his lips. "And what exactly do you know?"

"That you can't exorcise your brother's ghost. You're not only letting yourself get weighed down by unnecessary guilt, you're also letting your cock-sucker of a dad steal your life away because an accident stole Mike's. And you know what? You actually know it. You know it, Bolton, but you don't do anything about it because you rather go down as a mournful martyr. I guess you rather pretend all's bright in the Bolton's paradise than actually face fucking reality," She looked at him with utmost disgust. "You're pathetic."

If Pup was any other guy, he'd pour down his hell-fury wrath on her. He'd curse her out; try to defend himself. But Pup was Pup. He waited until she was done talking and paused, as if he were taking in all she had to say. He looked at her with an expression that for once she couldn't read.

On some level it was the same look he and others had given her before. Directly-straight on interest sparked by her face, hunger-glazed staring at her body. Yet even then, his stare has always been different. More. As if he was seeing more than her looks and body, more than her snarl and her troublesome nature. More deeply, like he could see into her soul.

Which was exactly how he was looking at her now. It was as if his eyes flew right past her walls, past her stone-barriers, and saw her. A her that she never let anyone else saw before.

"Well I guess it takes a pretender to know a pretender." Gabriella was so rattled by Bolton's barrier-piercing stare; she didn't make sense to his words until he was near the end. Once she out them together, anger fired up inside her.

"What the fuck did you just say?!"

"You heard me," Bolton calmly said, as if he was an adult trying to soothe down an irritated child. His calm tone pissed her off even more. "It's takes a good pretender to know another. To know what's it like to be trapped in the past. You're just as good at pretending, Montez. Actually, even better."

Her? Pretending? What planet was his idiot from? "You're fucking insane, Bolton."

"And you're a hypocrite," Troy shot back. "You come out as a fearless badass who doesn't give a shit about anything, but we both know that's a lie," He took another step closer to her; neither of them realized how close they were to each other. "You have your own demons to deal with that are just as bad. Ghosts, like your mom."

Gabriella's hand flew to Bolton's face before she could control herself, completely enraged. But Bolton, damn him, anticipated that move. He easily grasped her wrist before she could smack him. She tried pulling her hand away, but he refused to let go. "Fuck you!"

Ignoring her outburst, Troy continued on, speaking in that fucking calm voice that was nails on a chalkboard to her ears. "Your mom haunts you, Gabriella. I can see in your eyes. Her and old life. You never felt much love or care in your old home."

Showed how much he knew. That shit-hole she lived in for almost eighteen years wasn't home to her. It was hell. "I'm not haunted by anything!" She tried to pull back her hand, but Bolton refused to let go.

"She hurt you," Hearing those three words stopped Gabriella cold. "Hurt you in every way possible, and then some. But that's not enough reason for you to have such thick walls. The reason for them is because you're afraid."

"So what am I so afraid of, Mr. Einstein? Since you claim to know me so well."

"Being abandoned. Being left behind," Gabriella couldn't deny the fact she was stunned by his accusation. "You're scared of letting someone in because there's a good chance that they could leave you. My best guess is someone you trusted, a best friend or someone close to home, scattered your trust in people. Betrayed you."

She turned her head away, choosing not to answer. It was the best route she could take. Unfortunately it didn't help ease the ache painful pricking at her chest.

"You're nothing but fucking pieces of shit!" Even with her pillow pressed against her head and her body buried under their blankets, she could still hear everything. The screaming, the cursing, the banging. "The goddamn both of you."

"Pieces of shit! The fucking both of you useless brats!" she heard her mother's slurred yell.

"Better being shits than being a fucking whore!" Javi yelled back. Normally, that kind of move would be considered a suicide attempt. Only Javi wasn't afraid of Maria. He stopped being afraid of her a long time ago.

The room was filled with silence, dead silence that was quickly pierced by the sound of a loud crash. A sound that had to have come from Javier being pushed against the wall.

Gabriella felt so ashamed. She was eleven, not four. She shouldn't be hiding away in their room while her brother was dealing with damage control.

If he could face the Wicked Witch of West, then she could, too.

Gabriella ran to the living room and screamed at her mother's back "LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

Maria rose the belt high in the air, ready to smack her brother again. In front of her was her eighteen year old brother, down on his hands and knees, bloody marks lashed across his back with a swollen black eye.

Slowly, the dragon lady turned around, her eyes heavily glazed from the liquor and lit with such fiery fury. Her dark hair was a tangled mess, her stained nightgown hung loosely on her thin frame, her arms freshly pricked by drug-filled syringes.

Looking into those fiery, hatred-filled eyes, Gabriella felt her momentary bravery dissolving. She then noticed some cracks in the witch's armor. A black eye that was just as bad Javi's, a fat lip just as ugly, scars that Javi must had done to defend himself.

He fought back, she realized. It gave her the courage to face off her mother.

"What the hell did you just say to me, you little brat?" Maria dropped the belt and slowly walked over to her, her bony hands balling up into tight fists.

"I said leave him alone," Gabriella repeated. "Or should I say it again for you in Spanish-"

Her head nearly flew off her shoulders by the harsh slap Maria struck across her face.

"You think you're so much better than me, don't you, bitch?" Gabriella chose not to answer, glaring at her mother while holding her swollen cheek. The silent treatment grinded on Maria's nerves. She yanked Gabriella's hair so hard, her scalp nearly bleed, forcing the young girl to look up at her. "You're nothing but a fucking whore! You think you're so much better than me, but in reality you're a useless, worthless piece of-"

"Enough!" Javi charged like bull toward them. Gabriella freed her just in time, avoiding the hard shove Javi slammed against Maria, knocking them over the coffee table. Maria yelled as she attacked her son, but Javi stood his ground. He blocked almost every punch and slap she threw, but there was some he couldn't avoid. Like her sharp nails that slashed his cheeks.

"Leave him alone!" Gabriella screamed, but her words had little effort on them. The two were locked in a fit of struggle, Maria attacking and Javi blocking. She would have joined the fight if it wasn't for the darkly threatening glare Javi threw her that made her stay put.

"Fucking asshole!" Maria spat hatefully. "Just like your dumbass father!"

Growling, Javi grabbed both her wrists and pinned them to her sides. "At least he had enough brains to leave your cheap ass."

"You did not just say that to-" Javi silenced her rant with a hard, solid slap, a move that stunned Maria just as it did Gabriella.

It was one thing to rise your hand when you were trying to defend yourself against her when she was beating you. It was quite another to raise that hand when she was yelling at you.

Once he taken care of Maria, he grabbed Gabriella and ran back to their room, slamming the door. The second they were out of sight, Maria started screaming again.

"You're only kidding yourself, bitch, if you think your fucking knight in shining armor will protect your worthless ass forever! The moment you least expect, you'll be left in the dust. You'll be ditched! You hear me? DITCHED!"

The words hit Gabriella hard in the gut. Harder than when Maria threw a vodka bottle at her leg. Harder then when she was burnt by her cigarettes. Harder than all her lashes, punches, and kicks combined.

Gabriella looked up at her brother. He was speaking to her, yelling at her, but she couldn't hear a thing he was saying. The nausea that was churning her stomach blocked out the sound of his words.

Ever since she was old enough to talk, Javi and her made plans to run away. They'd often stay up late underneath their magic tent, planning their great escape. How the second Javi was older, they'd disappear into the night like Batman, how they'll pack up only their most important haves, hide out in a secret apartment in California and live off nothing but junk food.

Yet lately it seemed her brother doesn't recall their plans. Or care. He had too much going on with him. His job at the community center, his issues with the Red Bloods, and his graduation. In a few short days he'd become the first member of the family to actually graduate high school. Lately he has been spending more time outside of home, spending more time at the boxing center, partying with his friends till dawn, basically doing whatever he could to keep out of the house. Avoiding Maria, and avoiding her.

Bit by bit, Javi was pulling away from them. Pulling away from her. Some nights, she'd study him while he slept, memorizing every feature of his face into her memory. Some nights she'd need to look around at their room and see his things to know that he was still with her. For now at least.

But in a few days he was going to be free. Free to leave and never look back. And she…would still be trapped.

She hadn't realize she was crying till Javi was squinted down to her level, wiping away the damn annoying tears that felt like acid on her cheeks.

"Hey, hey, hey," he said gently. "It's okay, Ella. Everything's gonna be okay."

Okay? He was soon going to be on his own while she was stuck in this hellhole with the devil's wife-correction whore. Maria's drinking and drugging was getting worse and more frequent. Her brother was mad at her because she was trying to bail him out. And now he was saying everything was going to be fine.

The situation was so fucked up, it was almost laughable. She opened her mouth, ready to laugh, but out came a dry sob that broke Javi's heart. Before she knew it, she was sobbing hysterically, hot tears streaming down her cheeks, snot oozing from her nose, loud hiccups erupting from her mouth.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH! Or I'll rip your goddamn throat out!"Maria shouted. Gabriella tried holding them in, but the tears refused to be silent.

"Try it and I'll end you, whore!" Javi shouted at her.

"You're only fooling yourself if you think that bitch is worth saving, asshole."

Ignoring the drunkard, Javi tended to his sister. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead gently. He then pulled her into his arms, holding her tight as she sobbed into his shirt.

"Ella, don't let Maria get to you," He rubbed her cheek in a circular motion that always calmed her down. "The bruja doesn't have any idea what she's talking about."

With one last, painful hiccup, Gabriella swallowed down her sobs and pulled away from her brother. "What if she is"

"Ella-"

"You're leaving, Javi," she reminded him. "You have nothing in this shithole to make you stay. Let's face it. You don't want to have any baggage with you when you leave." She almost started crying again, but was able to hold it in this time.

"You're wrong." He held her cheek in his hand. "It's gonna be okay, Ella. I promise," He smiled at her. "It's you and me against the world. Always. Okay?"

"Okay." she whispered, a soft smile on her face.

She hadn't realized she was trembling until Bolton placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to steady her. She was so lost, so far away to even notice his touch.

The deep wound she spent years covering up bleed out, unleashing the anger, shame, and grief she had been trying to bury for years. Her eyes were on fire, burning with hot tears she was desperately trying to keep in. She felt like she was suffocating from the thick lump wedged in her throat.

"Gabriella." She dared not look up. So help her God, if she dared look and he was smug, she'd beat the living daylights out of him.

"Don't fucking touch me!" She smacked away his hand that tried to touch her cheek with such a force, she could spot a faint bruise forming.

She tried to get away from her, to get away before hell let loose. But every move she tried to make, stubborn Bolton blocked every move. "Get out of my fucking way before I punch your fucking daylights out!"

"No." He said.

She didn't have time to deal with this bullshit. She needed to breathe. She needed to not think.

She felt like she was crumbling like a sandcastle inside. The steel walls she had kept up for years trembled down, her chains and locks were slashed easily like papers. She breathed shallowly, running her hands through her hair, trying to keep it all together.

"You were hurt before," he stated, not asked. "By someone who meant something to you."

"FUCK YOU!" she yelled, hating how weak and pathetic she sounded, her voice cracking up. She needed a joint. She needed a drink. She needed a distraction. Any kind of distraction.

Breathe, she told herself. Breathe Montez. Don't cry. Don't cry. Whatever you do, DO NOT CRY.

She closed her eyes tightly, her hands practically ripping her hair as she tried to calm herself down. But the feeling wouldn't go away. The pressure kept building up. She couldn't breathe; she was suffocating.

She didn't realize Bolton was in front of her until she felt his hand gently wiping away a tear. A tear that she hadn't know that was falling until he caught it. She froze.

"You were betrayed by someone who said one thing and did another. It still hurts you to this day. I can see it in your eyes,"

His hand lowered down to her cheek, cupping it in his hand, stroking it tenderly. He noticed how still Gabriella was, like a statue. Silent, unmoving, oblivious to what was going on around her.

"I know the feeling too well. Being left behind. Unable to really open up to anyone because you never know what they can do with that trust. And I'm scared of other things," He took in a deep breath and confessed. "You."

She didn't say a word, but there was something in her eyes, some sort of glint that told him she was curious, so he continued on.

"I'm scared of you because of you are completely unpredictable. I'm scare of you because you're the one person I know that doesn't take bullshit and can give it right back. I'm scared of your big, brown beautiful eyes that hypnotize me. I'm scared of your beauty that allures me. I'm scared of this freaky, unavoidable pull I always feel towards you that I can't ignore. And trust me, I've tried. God knows I've tried. But no matter what, you're always on my mind. And…"

"And what?" she asked, her voice remarkably soft and sad. Broken.

He touched the rim of her sunglasses, waiting. Waiting for her to do something, say something. But Gabriella remained a statue. After waiting for a few more seconds, he took her silence as an invitation to continue. Slowly, he pushed the sunglasses up to her head, unveiling his wicked angel and those memorizing eyes. Eyes that could light with such fury when she was pissed. Eyes that gleamed with mischief when she let loose. Eyes that whether wild or cold always made him tongue-tied whenever they stared back at him. Eyes that was now so flat and hollow as they looked at him. They actually didn't even look at him; they looked right past him. Filled with so many tears, more tears than enough tears to last a lifetime.

"I scared of the fact I can't forget you. That everything and anything can remind me of you. I'm scared of letting you in. But the thing I'm mostly scared of is…."

"Is what?" she asked softly.

Falling for her, even though he already has. Letting himself go with her because she could easily break him. Only he didn't know how to put into words. Something in him nagged that words honestly couldn't and wouldn't be enough.

He looked at her. She looked at him. And what happened next was a complete, unexpected WOW.

One second. Bright, incredible warmth surged through Gabriella's entire body as Troy pressed his lips against hers in a gentle, tender kiss.

Two seconds. Their heartbeats stopped in unison and their bodies practically came alive with the bright warmth burning within them.

Three seconds. Troy found himself sprawled on the ground, a painful throbbing coming from his left jaw.

Dazed by both the unexpected kiss and blow, Troy looked up at Gabriella. Her left fist was tightly clenched, the same fist used to punch in his jaw. Her eyes were still filled with tears, but they were no longer vulnerable. The walls were back up, fiercer and ten times thicker.

"Gabriella-"

"I'm sorry. The Montez's charity kisses have officially expired," she spat venomously. Wiping her lips with her hand, she shuddered in disgust. "Come near me again, I'll sucker punch your jaw right up your empty skull."

She grabbed her bag that somehow was all the way across on the other side, ignoring Bolton calling her name.

"Gabriella! Please!" he begged. "We need to talk."

"We already did," she remarked. "You spoke some words, opened your heart, kissed me, and got punched by me. I'd say this was one hell of a conversation."

"Don't walk away from this, Gabriella," he pleaded. "We need to talk."

She stopped momentary to give him a twisted, taunting smile with a sharp bite. Troy paused, and her smile widened, growing darker. "I'll let you in on a little secret, Bolton. I came from a family full of assholes and bitches, and in that family we have a motto. 'Ditch or get ditched'. If you don't want to get left behind, then you leave first. And I'm done with being left behind."

And so she left. And just like last time he had the pleasure of watching her walk away from him.