in some suburban town somewhere where the grass was really green and the sky was really blue and I think I described this in great detail before so I'm just gonna cut to the chase
"where the HELL is my daughter?!," shouted Annie's Dad. He, his wife, and pretty much everyone in town had been searching for this girl for like three months, they had a crapload of police there too and there were helicopters in the sky and general pandamonium everywhere holy shit
ok I just wanted to address that plot point back to your regularly scheduled fanfiction
"wow you guys are fucking douchebags! I can't believe you just killed my dad and my bro!," Mack yelled. "he left explicit instructions to do so, it's not our fault," replied Glass Joe. "yeah it was you could've elected not to be spineless cuntfaces," mack retorted. "mack, honey, calm down, this was for the greater good," doc tried to convince her. "no shut up i hate you," mack threw a tantrum and ran into the back room. Annie followed her cuz Annie was a follower and not a leader
"hey mack let's do a repeat of that one scene from Chapter III," annie suggested. "No I'm not okay! My dad and my bro… th-they're dead… I… I just can't believe it!," mack cried. "but didn't you hate them and think they made your life needlessly convoluted just a while ago?," annie asked. "i've had some goddamn character development since then, I don't mind them now... I… I love them," Mack sobbed. annie consoled mack by offering her a shoulder to shed her tears on. "you know…," mack said in between sniffles. "I'm not the only one who's gotten some development over the past three months…" She picked her head up and looked at Annie's chest. "ur boobs have too." The two looked each other in the eyes and then started macking, er, making out. and then it got really lewd and they did lesbo stuff and I thought it was really hot
meanwhile in kyoto japan iwata walked into the cloning room at Nintendo HQ
one of the scientists there noticed Iwata-sama walking in. "I-Iwata-sama! I didn't think you'd be coming soon! They aren't ready ye-" Iwata raised his hand and the scientist's head was trapped in some kind of weird mistiness. Iwata then flicked his hand to the side and the scientist's head snapped and he fell to the ground, ouch.
"free them," iwata ordered. the rest of the scientists, having fear struck into their hearts, pressed a bunch of buttons on some dashboards and a couple of capsules that were holding Mario and Link opened up. they stepped out. "that should be enough for today. come on you two, I need you for a special mission," iwata ordered. Mario and Link followed him, while behind them, dozens and dozens of capsules with clones of the flagship Ninty characters were being born in the nude. and it turned out that Link has his Master Sword on him at all times if you know what I mean hon hon hon
meanwhile back at the organization's headquarters everything was blown to bits except for mac and louis, who were still in the remnants of that one room they were in. they were enclosed in some kind of magical bubble that probably shielded them from the explosion, leaving them alive to fight another fic
"wat," said Louis as he woke up from his unconsciousness, "Aah!" Quickly realizing his mistake, Lou dropped the baby and the bubble around them and Mac vanished. "Unf," muttered Mac, who woke up that second as well, "what just happened?" "wow, the guys actually blew up the HQ. I thought they'd forget to do that," Louis said to himself. "Blew up the HQ? How the fuck are we still alive?" "When I woke up, there… there was a bubble around us…" Lou took the baby in his hands again and it reappeared. "Me and past me touching each other must trigger it. No wonder the legends lie and said that doing so would cause a paradox, they didn't want anyone to learn the secret to invincibility"
"so… us being with him doesn't have any effect on the universe after all?," mac asked. "well, it probably would've if he was older, but he's just six months old and won't remember any of this when he's older, so theoretically we could both do whatever we wanted and spend as much time as possible with him for awhile and not destroy all of creation," lou realized. "fucking A. then give him back to me you pedo," mac ordered. "I… I don't want to…," lou refused. "and why the hell not," mac asked. "cuz if I do you'll just go back to caring about him and not me…," Lou whined. "Aw, Lou… you're a grown-ass man, stop being such a pussy," mac told him straight up. then he took the baby and ran up to the surface. "Prick!," Lou yelled after him.
The two eventually reached land. "so, with the HQ gone, where's everybody that escaped headed?," mac asked. "where else? to confront Iwata," lou said as if it was obvious. "Really?," mac inquired. "Hey, we have all of our living personnel and weapons in those ships. they might as well," lou replied. "and what are we gonna do?," mac questioned. "what else? go after them," lou suggested.
meanwhile back on the ship mack and annie were still doing the hot and sexy but I can't describe it cuz they're underage and screw lawsuits
and the rest of the gang was at the front of the ship saying who gives a shit what they're saying and then HOLY CRAP something started firing at them out of nowhere, there were a ton of blasts of energy from below the clouds and everyone started freaking the FUCK out
"take evasive positions!," vodka instructed. everyone sat back down in their seat and buckled up except for mack and annie because they weren't into bondage. the ship dove to the side, ducking out of the line of fire from this unknown enemy, and then this unknown enemy decided to bare its balls and rise up. this opposing ship came out of the misty clouds and was surprisingly pretty small compared to our heroes' mammoth ship, but it nevertheless contained massive firepower
"we've gotta take that li'l bitch down, go into fighter mode Glass Joe!," Vodka screamed. "you got it, Soda!," Joe replied in his French accent and leaped from his co-pilot seat. "It's not Soda, it's Vodka you damn capitalist!," Vodka growled. Joe dashed into the back room, where he saw mack and annie going at it. As he was a European very well-versed in the fine art of making love, he felt compelled to drop down and give them a lecture right then and there, but it would have to wait til later, he had to kick ass.
So Joe left that room and went into the back where all of the shit was and not literal shit like shit shit that would be gross but shit like general goods. and there were a couple of fighter ships there too so Joe got in and flew off the parent ship and went after the bastard that tried to kill them. "pew pew pew!," went Joe's guns, the ship's gun not Joe's hella biceps, as they targeted the other ship. Taking its attention off of the main ship, this enemy ship turned around and faced Joe's ship. once joe got a good look at who piloted it, his pupils dilated and he was legit shook! he turned on his radio. "sacre bleu guys!," he practically screamed, "it's mario and l-!"
BOOM! Joe's ship got blown up by some of the enemy's fire. looks like he won't be able to give mack and annie fine love-making lessons. rip. :(
"Joe? Joe! JOOOOOE!," Vodka cried. "Mario and Link! I can't believe it, Mario and Link are out there! Nintendo's coming after us!," Doc panicked. "Well they can suck my foreign dingaling!," Vodka proclaimed to the heavens, wiping a tear from his eye, "I'll avenge you, Joe! Here Doc, take the seat!" "Where are you going?," Doc asked. "To avenge my capitalist buddy," Vodka explained, grabbing a bazooka that was conveniently placed on the floor and climbing out onto the roof of the ship. Once he was there, he pointed it directly at Mario & Link's vessel. "Have a taste of my superior Communist technology, motherfuckers!," he cackled. Sadly, by the time he finished his sentence, Mario & Link had already spotted him and shot at the roof of the ship. It struck, not only probably incinerating Vodka's ass but also taking off a decent chunk of the top of the ship.
"Fucking Christ, Vodka, why'd you have to go and be a hero?," Doc muttered to himself. "Dad, Dad!," Mack called, running back in from the back room and just barely finishing putting her clothes back on, "What the hell is going on?" "We're under attack by the same guys who kidnapped you and Annie the other day!," Doc explained. "Shit!," Mack growled. "Let's go and take him out ourselves!." Annie suggested. "yeah mom can i go pls," mack asked. "no way it's too dangerous," doc refused. "but MAAAAAM annie gets to do it," mack whined. "Oh yeah well if annie jumped off a cliff would you do the same?," doc said that old cliche saying. "If it made me cool, hell yes. i'm a follower not a leader," mack agreed. "hey i thought i was the follower and not the leader," annie butted in. "Bitch we both followers, we follow each other in an endless cycle of following so we never know who started it in the first place," mack explained. "my brain hurts bruh," annie replied.
"um you still can't go," doc reminded. "come on mom i'm thirteen years old i'm not your little kid anymore I just had hot lesbian sex in the back," mack begged. Doc looked into Mack's eyes and saw the longing there. She was right. She wasn't his little girl anymore. She could take care of yourself. "ughhhh alright fine just… don't get yourself killed or you're grounded for a week," Doc relented. "Yayyy ur the best dad ever mwah," mack kissed Doc on the cheek, "Alright let's blow shit up!" She and Annie sprinted over to where the ships were. Doc sighed. After he did, he took notice of the big-ass missile headed straight for his ship. "AHHH!," he screamed.
however ANOTHER SHIP pulled up next to Doc's ship and took the hit of the blow. It was one of the other huge ships carrying passengers and goods and unfortunately the missile struck it right in the center. The force of the impact caused the ship to break into two and explode, and everyone inside of it burned to a crisp as they fell to the earth below. it was kinda gruesome tbh
"YOU SONS OF BITCHES!," Mack screamed. as they were too preoccupied being impressed with their feat, Mario & Link had failed to notice that Mack and Annie were gaining on them. Their ship rapidly fired at the enemy's, and soon enough it hit it right in the wing. The enemies started to fall, but not before they were able to land one on the girls. "We're going down!," Annie warned. "what a couple of dicks," Mack insulted, pressing a button on the dashboard that opened up the big dome thing that surrounded the cockpit. She pulled out one of her swaggy futuristic shotguns and blasted the glass dome thingy their enemy's ship had. that enemy ship was really far away but Mack was a boss-ass bitch as we established in the last chapter so this was pretty easy for her
Mack then jumped out of her ship and fell through the air. "Suck it, twats!," she called, She fired another few rounds from her weapon which only hit the seat in the cockpit. Link jumped out of the ship after her and unsheathed the Master Sword from its holder really cool-like, as he pulled it out it did the "shreeee" thing and there were sparkles and normally sparkles are lame but in this instance they're cool. and then Link slashed his sword towards Mack but she blocked it with her shotgun and kicked at Link but then Link dodged that and then he kicked Mack in the stomach and Mack was stunned for a bit and then Link went to stab her but then an arrow stabbed Link in the forehead WHAT A TWIST it was Annie and she had her archery thing out =3
"heyahhh!," link cried as he performed his dying animation. Angered at the loss of his partner, Mario jumped up, shouting "Wahoo!" He uppercutted Mack producing a bunch of coins like his Up-B in Smash and knocked her back. "Mack!," Annie cried. She jumped after her and Mario chucked a fireball at her. Mack twirled her body out of the way and pounced on Mario, the two of them dropping back into the cockpit of Mario and Link's ship. "Get-a offa me, bitch!," Mario gurgled. Annie pointed an arrow at him. "Give me one good reason why I should!," she retorted. "Because-a Papa Iwata is coming!," he revealed. "What?," Annie whispered.
Another ship began rising out of the clouds, except this one was much bigger, about the size of Doc's ship. Once its full girth was put on display for the world to see, no one could doubt that it was being manned by none other than Nintendo Corporation Limited President Satoru Iwata. Mario pressed his hand to Annie's face and burned it. As she recoiled in pain, Mario jumped off and was beamed aboard Iwata's ship. Iwata's ship then turned its cannons towards the small ship that Annie was on. Finally, Mack decided to fucking rejoin the party and landed next to Annie, pointing her shotgun towards the cannon that was charging up and shooting a load into it, clogging it up and making it unable to fire.
As Iwata and Mario grumbled at this minor setback, Doc started getting more backup. The rest of the ships pulled up by his side, them with their cannons ready for firing. They shot down at Iwata's ship and it, overpowered by all of the organization's badassery, took a dive back below the clouds. Merciless, they dove down after it. And Mack and Annie got off their rinky-dink ship and jumped onto one of the big-ass ships being driven by King Hippo. Yeah, all of the ships were being driven by Punch-Out! characters.
Meanwhile, Mac and Lou had been walking for a few hours now and were getting really tired. "man we're really tired let's hitchhike," Mac suggested. They stood on the side of the road and stuck their thumbs out. Eventually, a brightly colored character stopped and offered them a spot in the back of his neon-lit motorvehicle. "Hey thanks bro," Lou accepted. "Yeah-wait… oh no…," Mac buried his face in his hands. "What, do you know this guy?," Lou asked. "From awhile back…," Mac muttered. "Hey… Little Mac, is that you? Man, you've really gotten into shape!," this man admired, "Last time I saw you you were practically a dumpling!" "'sup Captain Rainbow," Mac replied unenthusiastically, and jumped into the car. "So, where are you guys headed for?," Rainbow inquired. "my old training place," mac replied. "a'ight but i'mma need directions I don't know where the fuck that is"
MEANWHILE all of the ships were still descending from the sky. Iwata's ship had turned around and was firing missiles directly at all of the organization's vessels. They zoomed through the air in that really well animated style before hitting their target. "I'm down, I'm down!," shouted Von Kaiser over the radio from his ship. "Me too, me too!," relayed Piston Hondo from his. "Wow, I can't believe all of these beloved franchise characters are being relegated to one-line cameos! Also guys, we have to ease up, if Iwata keeps hitting all of us we'll lose too many peeps and goods!," Doc warned. "Yeah! And we're also about to hit the ground!," Mack shouted. "Mmm-mm-mrf!," King Hippo agreed. "Oh yeah, there's that too I guess Jesus Christ this is not our day," Doc breathed.
Miles away from the ground, Iwata changed the direction of his ship so it flew parallel to the ground. The other ships did the same and they soon after decided to just land cuz they were running out of fuel and crap. When they did, Iwata's ship did too and they all piled out of their respective ships and onto the battle ground. "Surrender, Iwata! It's just you and Mario against the hundreds of us!," Doc shouted. "Is that so…?," Iwata replied. He looked among the throngs of people. "So Little Mac isn't with you?," he asked. "No. He… he died," Mack answered. "I doubt that," Iwata retorted matter-of-factly. He waved his hand and all of the compartments in his ship opened up. Hundreds of hundreds of clones of Smash Bros. characters piled up, easily matching the number of our heroes. "Capture all of them," Iwata commanded. The clones lurched forth to do battle. While I could explain this fierce battle in detail, that'd be too much work and it's really late at night when I'm writing this so I'm just gonna say that our heroes got their booties handed to them on a silver platter and were taken captive all the way back to Kyoto, Japan.
MEANWHILE AGAIN Mac, Lou, and Captain Rainbow had reached Mac's old training place and they entered it. "Ah man, this brings back so many memories. You know, this is where your father and I first realized our love for each other," Mac explained to Lou, "all the way back in chapter 1." "You and a guy hooked up? I never took you for the gay type, that always seemed like more of Birdo's thing," Rainbow admitted. "Nah, Birdo's just trans. Besides, your name's Captain Rainbow, you can't get much more homosexual than that," "So what are we doing here, just going to lift weights?," Lou inquired. He sat down on one of the benches for bench pressing. "Ew, it's all sticky," he complained.
"No. You had it right when you said this was going to be the biggest battle of my life at the end of Chapter II," Mac began, "And for that…" He looked in one of the closets and threw out a bunch of junk before he finally found what he was looking for. A big brown box. "Yes, this is it…" He opened it up and, just as they sat a few years back when he first placed them in there following his retirement from boxing, sat his coveted green boxing gloves and iconic boxing shorts. "I'm gonna need these," he concluded. "cool but shouldn't you wash those first they're probably dusty as sin," lou suggested. "there's no time for washing, there's evil afoot," Mac refuted.
Suddenly, a weird disc thing started buzzing on the table in the middle of the room. "wuts dat," Rainbow asked. "Idk some fancy pager me and Doc got at a yard sale a while back. never really used it though, not sure why it's going crazy now. the only people who have the number for it are me and-" A hologram sprouted from the base of the disc. The image settled on Doc, shackled in chains. "Doc! Oh my God, honey, what have they done to you?," Mac cried. "this is crazy, how do you know they're even alive and, even if they were, why would they even be at the old training place?," Doc asked someone off-screen. "It's… one of my secret powers," the voice, sounding like Iwata-sama responded. "Is that another way of saying the writers have no explanation for this plot development and are just hiding behind a deus ex machina?," Doc inquired. "Yes it is, now shut up and deliver the message," Iwata ordered, smacking Doc upside the head.
Mac flinched. "Don't hurt my boo!," he shouted at no one in particular. "Alright, alright. Mac, if you're there… I don't know if you are, but just if… Iwata has us captured. Every one of is. And he's gonna kill us. And then he's gonna do very bad things to the world in general and they're all gonna be shitty. And if you think you've seen some shitty shit before, that shitty shit ain't nearly as shitty as the shitty shit he's got planned. And the only way you can stop him is by meeting him at the Nintendo headquarters in Kyoto, Japan for a showdown. Please, Little Mac, you're our only hope," Doc pleaded. "Doc-senpai…," Mac whispered. "Actually, on second thought, don't come for us. Stay far away, Mac! Don't let him get you! If he does, he's gonna do horrible th-," Doc quickly tried to explain. He was beat over the head some more and the hologram vanished. "no, No, NO!," Mac yelled. He threw the disc on the floor and it shattered.
Mac marched towards the exit. "but wait Dad you can't do this what if it's a trap," Lou warned. "hell yeah it's a trap. and I'm falling into it. There's no way I'm going to let all of my loved ones get hurt," Mac replied.."Then I'm going with you," Lou offered. "No, I said I'm not going to let my loved ones get hurt," Mac reiterated. "What?," Lou muttered. Mac looked straight at Lou. "Look, I know I haven't been the best father, in fact, I've been a terrible one to you. But to cut this cliche speech short, I'm gonna make it up to you, I'm gonna make it up to everybody, even if it means dying," Mac replied. "Like hell you are, you old fuck," Lou replied. "excuse me whore," Mac retorted. "Back when we first decided to fight against Nintendo, back when we started our training, we were a team. And we're gonna end this as a team," said Lou. Mac looked deeply at him. "You're just horrible at listening to your father, but I'm not gonna blame you for that."
Mac socked Lou in the stomach and ran off for Rainbow's car. He jumped in and took off. How Mac got the keys for the car from Captain Rainbow, I don't know. I really should have come up with some explanation for that. But if I had taken to describing Mac taking the keys from Rainbow, when would I have done that? Couldn't have been during or after his talk with Lou, that would have messed up the flow. And I couldn't have before that either, as his little twist wasn't known then. It was pretty damn impossible, so let's just ignore that plot hole.
ANYWAY Mac was cruising along in his swanky ride, and he went to an airport somewhere. And that airport had some planes in it cuz airports have airplanes in 'em and he got in one of the airplanes and they took him to the lovely land of Nippon. And on that trip Mac gazed out of his window and contemplated a crapload of stuff. But the main stuff on his mind was how sorry he was for Mac and Rainbow and how he wished to see his hubby Doc's charming face one more time, to caress it one more time, to tell him that he loves him and he never wants to be without him ever again one more time.
so then Mac landed in the glorious land of Nippon and it was very neat. He went around eating some Japanese food like ramen and sushi and it was pretty tasty and he read some mangas except he couldn't read it cuz it went backwards for some reason and then he went around buying some souvenirs like Figma action figures and special Nintendo 3DS XLs except he threw those last ones away cuz then he remembered that Nintendo was evil. And then he went to Tokyo Disney Land and it was pretty fun and he rode the carousel (do they have carousels at Tokyo Disney Land? I'd think they would, but idk for sure) and it was fun and he felt like a kid again. And then he bought some gay hentai at a gay hentai shop and watched it but it was poorly animated and he couldn't jack off to it so he decided to watch Naruto instead and it was even worse so he just went to sleep while the beautiful lights of Tokyo lit up the sky behind his window
and then the next day he got ready to go to Kyoto so he rode the subway and stuff and the subway rides were really long oh my god. and he saw a lot of peeps playing 3DSes and he told them "hey guys 3Dses are evel no play use a ps vita instead" and they were like "But mr. italy man ps vita don't got no pocket monsters" and he was like "but it got digimon" but they didn't care because the world still wasn't quite ready for the genius that is Digimon.
and then the train landed in Kyoto and he got out and he jogged a bit to where the Nintendo headquarters where and he went to it and he knocked on the door and he was like "hello I'm here to turn myself in hello" and then the guy on the speaker asked "Do you have a pass" and then Mac said "No i'm sure to surrender myself faget" and then the guy on the speaker was like "there are some very secret games being developed in here you can't come unless you have a p-ack!" The guy was killed by Iwata who then took to the speakers. "ok little mac-kun you can come on in" and so Little Mac came on in and sadly the coming was not the lewd kind
Inside, Little Mac was immediately handcuffed and escorted deeper into the building by some guards. He was led into the throne room which was similar to the late Reggie Fils-Aime's but bigger because Iwata was more important and also Japanesier because Iwata was very Japanese. "Puttu himmu on the flooru," Iwata ordered. The guards dropped Mac to the floor. "Ah, so you've finally commu to me on your kneesu!," Iwata barked. "Absolutely not… wait… yeah I guess I kind of am," Mac replied. "You thoughtu you couldu runnu away from me, huh you baka gaijin?! You thoughtu you could escapu the tight fists of Satoru Iwata!?," Iwata yelled. "I didn't think, I could. And I could still be doing that right now if I didn't come here cuz I felt like it," Mac retorted.
Iwata jumped down from his throne and approached Mac. "Don't strikku that tone with me, dicku!," Iwata growled."Look, how about you just put me in your Smash Bros. game and let my friends go so this can all be resolved in a timely fashion," Mac suggested. "Your friendsu aren't gettingu out of here," Iwata revealed. "So Lou was right, this is a trap. You're a fucking fuckwad, you know that right? If you want me to join the roster, you're gonna have to brainwash me now," Mac muttered. "Oh no. I'm gonna make you beg to join the roster!," Iwata cackled.
Iwata-sama led the way to the cloning room with the guards dragging Mac by his legs behind him. "You remember the cloning room, right?," Iwata asked. "Haven't been in one since the days of Smash 4, so you might need to refresh my memory. All I remember is that it was fraggin' terrible," Mac grumbled. "I'll havu Mario show it to you," Iwata replied. He gestured for Mario to do his thing. "As you wish, Lord Iwata-sama. Wahoo!" Mario hopped into one of the capsules in the front row of a whole cluster of empty ones. The scientists pressed a bunch of buttons on the dashboard and Mario's capsule began filling with some sort of liquid. Tubes shot down from the ceiling and entered the capsule through small metal holes that opened up to allow the things in. Once in the capsule, the tubes attached themselves all over Mario's body. One of them probably went inside his bootyhole
The scientists officially initiated the event. The tubes sucked blood from Mario's body. He moaned in great pleasure. "Ugh… it feels-a… so good MASTER!," Mario proclaimed. The blood then ended up in other tubes and, after mixing with the liquid inside of those, organisms began to be form, which ended up becoming clones of the Jumpman himself. A wet stain appeared in the crotch area of Mario's overalls. Having been subjected to this so many times between Smash and the million other games he's in, he seemed to have developed the ability to receive some sensual pleasure from it. "This is fucking disgusting," Mac said, revolted. "It's how it mustu be donnu. Every time, in a match of Smash Brosu., that a character is knockedu off-screen, they must be replaced with an identical duplicate. This is where these clones come in; we massu produce them and then send them off to each player's game just in time for that character to regenerate in-match. It's essential to the gameplay of Smash,, and Smash is one of our best-selling franchises."
"How about you think of something other than making money, you goddamned weaboo, this is fucking inhumane," Mac went into full disrespectful emo teenager mode. "This is business, Little Mac, and here at Nintendo, we always get what we want," Iwata confirmed, "Now, get in a capsule, or all of your friends die." He waved his hand over at a TV and it turned on, revealing the rest of the organization trapped in some room somewhere. "They're in the abandoned Kyoto Monolith Soft development facility. Unless you get in there in the capsule in the next five seconds, we'll nuke it from orbit," Iwata threatened. Mac looked at the individuals on the screen. "Mac! No! Don't do it!," Doc cautioned. "Dad! Don't listen to Iwata! Don't give in to his demands!," Mack pleaded.
"Guys…" Tears fell from Mac's eyes. "Welp, time's uppu!," Iwata shouted. "Wait, no! Let me in!," Mac agreed. "Too late!" With a wave of his hand, the bomb started its course towards the facility. "It's already in launch." Iwata laughed. "No, no please!," Mac cried, falling to his knees, "Let me join the roster, let me clone myself, please, I'll do anything!" "I told you I'd have you begging me!," Iwata reminded, "Gwah ha ha!"
Then, the two heard a "schroooo" sound, y'know, like one of those sounds you hear when a bomb is being dropped. However, the bomb was being dropped at the abandoned Monolith Soft facility, not here, why would they be able to hear it…? Unless…? Everyone looked out of the window and saw HOLY SHIT LOU RIDING THE BOMB TOWARDS THE BUILDING. "No no no!," Iwata was legit shook. He waved his hands around, attempting to lower the effect the bomb would have upon impact with his magic powers. The bomb still hit the building anyway, but due to Iwata's efforts it didn't completely blow their guts open, it just destroyed the room, including all of the capsules, and blasted everyone back.
Lou jumped into the air, getting out of the smoke that now covered the premises. "Eat shit, you cockroach bastard!," he proclaimed, taking a shot at Iwata with one of his guns. Iwata waved his hands in front of him and produced a shield that the bullet ricocheted off of. Iwata held his hand out and air-strangled Lou which, due to his powers, actually strangled Lou. Mac got up and socked Iwata in the stomach, causing him to lose his hold on Lou. Mac raised his first to take another punch; Iwata pulled up a shield over himself again, but Mac's punches were too fucking sweet, and they shattered Iwata's shield with a single blow, and Mac took the opportunity to hit Iwata again, launching him quite a bit back.
"Lou! I can't believe you're here! Are you okay?," Mac asked, clearly surprised. "I'm fine. You didn't think I was going to let you have all of the fun, did you?," Lou inquired. "B-but… I told you… I wanted to keep you safe," Mac replied. "Dad, it's like you said, I'm a grown-ass man. I can take care of myself," Lou answered. "You're right. You're all grown up now," Mac accepted. "Hey… you didn't ask about the baby," Lou pointed out. "Yeah. I… I was more worried about you," Mac realized. "You… you were?," Lou asked. "I mean, if something bad did happen to him, then you wouldn't be here right now. So seeing you is all I need to know that you both are alright… that my son is alright," Mac confirmed. "Your son?," Lou inquired. "Yes, Lou… YOU ARE MY SON"
Father and Son clung to each other in a love-filled embrace. "I don't know why it took me so long to realize it, but now I do…," Mac whispered, "Looking into your eyes…You're my little Louis." "That's all I've ever wanted to hear from you, Dad… a-and I'm sorry if I ever… if I ever came across as…," Lou began, starting to tear up. "ssshhhhhh!" Mac pressed his lips to Lou's. OH GOD I MEAN Mac pressed his finger to Lou's lips. "It'll be alright," Mac assured. whew, I dodged a bullet there ( ._.) (._. )
"oh so where is he anyway," mac asked
"oh i left him in the care of captain rainbow," lou answered
"holy crap Lou I hope you're not too old for me to spank you for being so damn stupid"
"Fucking foreigners with your mushy drama shit!," Iwata grumbled, wiping a bit of blood from his lip, "Mario! Take care of them!" Iwata ran off as Mario and a crapload of clones took his place. "Come on Mario, it doesn't have to be like this. We're both half-Italian half-New York-ish guys! We're practically from the same neighborhood!," Mac tried to convince. "Bitch, New York is so 90s,, my official character biography says I live in the Mushroom Kingdom now! And even back then, you were in the Bronx and I was a Queens nigga!," Mario clarified. "so does this mean we gonna fight?," Lou questioned. "yeah we're-a gonna fight," Mario replied. "Alright then, Mario. Let's-a go!," Mac proclaimed.
Meanwhile
"shit shit shit guys where was the bomb that was supposed to kill us all what if someone interfered with lord iwata-sama's plans omg this is terribad *tear*," said all of the guards who were panicking and had no chill at the Kyoto Monolith Soft development facility. As they were all busy being pussies, the organization members were all able to free themselves from their bondages and were about to make their escape. "Alright, I'm sure there are plenty of ways out of here, but we won't know any of them unless we have a map of the building," Doc explained to the several hundred people in a small utility closet. How did they all fit in there, fuck if I know
"Now I'm sure most of the guards and other Nintendo personnel have their maps on themselves, so we're gonna need someone to distract them and snatch one from them," Doc continued. "Me and Mack are up for the job!," Annie volunteered.
Mack and Annie made their way through the halls, weapons in hand, until they came
to an area where a large amount of guards patrolled. "So how we gonna get this work done?," Annie asked. "We ain't gonna get this work done," Annie corrected, "gonna get this TWERK done!" "wut," Mack replied. "I've seen that fine gold you've been hiding in your treasure chest, no one can resist that looty," Annie continued. "what are you talking abo-," Mack stammered. "Your parents done their glutes, and have given you a fine booty!," Annie praised. "Umm…," Anne muttered. "It's so round and firm, but at the same time, so soft and jiggly," Annie admired, "It's invitin', saying 'Baby, come and greet some o' dis ass meat!,' but it's also commandin', saying 'You gotta work if you want to get accESS to this assET!" and she slapped Mack's butt with each of those emphasized syllables.
"But… I've never twerked in my entire life," Mack replied, nervous. "Honey, you're a teenage girl, even if you've never twerked you still have the innate ability to deep down. Just get out there and show 'em what you're made of," Annie encouraged. "You're right. I can do this!," Mack replied. She strutted out there among the guards and struck a pose. "Hey boys!," she commanded. Everyone stopped and looked at her. She bent over, putting her plump ass in the air for all to admire. "Like what you see?," she inquired.
All of the guards began sweating and some even got nosebleeds. As they were Nintendo employees and hence fans of the company, they were obviously all nerds who hadn't had any kind of sexual experience in their life. "Who wants to get twerked on?!," Mack called, moving her butt around and smacking it hard, making it look oh so palatable to the men (and even the women) in attendance. Suffice to say, they all ran towards her, hoping to get some of that bottom action. As fate would have it, underage ass wasn't on their menu today. Mack turned around as soon as they were in a foot's distance of hers and pulled out one of her machine guns, firing rapidly upon the crowd of sex-starved Japanese employees. Quickly, she grabbed a map from one of her victims and ditched the scene along with Annie before the remaining guards could catch hold of them.
"We've got it! We've got it!," Mack screeched as she and Annie ran down the hall to where all of the others were bundled up in the utility closet. "Let's see it," Doc reached out to take it. "We have to read it on the run!," Annie alerted as the duo passed him. "Why?," Great Tiger inquired, being another Punch-Out! character relegated to a one-line cameo. They then all saw the guards running towards them and decided to hike it as well. Doc caught up to Mack and Annie. "A'ight, lemme see that now!," Doc said, taking the map. "Ah yes, there are that many exits, and there are this many of us, so we'll have to divide into groups to make it out ALRIGHT LET'S DO THIS SHIT" and so they divided into groups and they did that shit where they went their own routes and took down the guards on their routes until they made it out of the building and eventually they all got out of the building and it was TITS
MEANWHILE Mac and Lou were still hacking down Mario clones left and right. "Man, this is gonna take forever! Iwata's gonna get away at this point," Mac complained. "Go after him then," Lou suggested. "What, are you serious?," Mac asked. "Of course I am. You said it yourself, he's getting away, go catch him. I've got everything handled here," Lou assured him. Mac nodded in agreement. He ran out of the cluster of Mario clones and sprinted up the stairs to the top of the building so quickly that he was practically flying.
"IWATA-SAMAAAAAAAAAA!," Mac screamed as he reached the top floor where his target was. "Huh?," Iwata stammered, looking around his room. "LET'S SEE YA GRIT THOSE TEEEETH!," Mac yelled in a Gurren Lagann reference as he barged into Iwata's room and belt him hard as FUCK across the face. Some teeth and spit flew out of Iwata's oral cavity and he flew back through the window, breaking the glass. The force of this punch was so intense that Iwata was flung through the air and crashed through the window of a building across the street, landing on some poor denizen's desk.
Little Mac leaped to the other building and prepared to launch another assault on Iwata's cheek. As he did, Iwata reached into the holder attached to his belt and took out a blade. He slashed Mac with it, causing Mac to be thrown back to the other side of the room. "You cannot defeat me!," Iwata screamed, standing up and subsequently cackling. He jumped over to Mac and beat him with his sword again, tossing him out into the hallway. "BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKAAAAAAA!," Iwata screeched to the heavens as he repeatedly cut Mac up, throwing him this way and that across the hallway totally wrecking shit much like the Ryuko/Satsuki fight in ep 3 of Kill la Kill.
Iwata kicked Mac into another room and he crashed into some tables. "I'm gonna fucking kill you, and then I'm gonna fucking kill all of your friends! I don't give a damn about what some members of the Smash community think about you never coming back, you were never fun to play with in the first plaaaaace!" Iwata bore his blade down upon Mac, but Mac raised his fist up to the tip of the sword. Mac literally punched the sword and it shattered holy shit what a badass
"listen here you right fucker," Mac proclaimed, standing up face-to-face with Iwata. Uplifting music played in the background. "Don't EVER threaten my friends!" Mac lurched his fist back and WHAMMED Iwata in the face! Iwata broke through some of the walls in the building until he ended up in mid-air outside. Mac ran towards him and jumped out of the hole he made. "MY FRIENDS. ARE. MY. POWERRRR!" He lunged for Iwata, but Iwata finally went into Serious Fucking Business mode. His eyes glowed green blue and an aura began radiating from him. He held his hand out and stopped Mac in mid-air. He flung him into another building, which he met with a loud "CRASH!"
"You've pushed me over the edge, Little Mac! Now you must face my SUPAH. ANCIENT. MARASHU. ARTSUUUUUUU!"
and also because of this Iwata was able to fly
"Bitch I can fly too!," Mac shouted. With the power of friendship and familial love, Little Mac too rose into the sky, awakened with new powers. And he and Iwata began to have their Dragon Ball Z fight
Meanwhile Lou was still dealing with those Mario clones. "jesus christ you guys are annoying, how do your games even sell?," he asked as he mowed down rows and rows of them. "THE CAVALRY'S HERE!," screamed Doc as he and the rest of the organization barged into the building ready for some action. "It's about goddamn time!," Lou called back with the biggest-ass grin on his face. The organization members laid the smackdown on the Mario clones while the Mac-Louis family reunited. "Bro! Bro...," Mack embraced Lou in a really tight hug. "It's really great to see you too," Lou returned the hug. "You don't understand…," Mack looked up to him with tears in her eyes, "I thought you were dead. I really did, and now you're here and alive and I just…" "Hey, hey…" Lou wiped the tears from her eyes, "It's okay. Your big brother's here, and we're sticking together from now on."
"crap crap CRAP they're cutting down the rest of the mario clones!," one of the Nintendo guards complained. "Call in reinforcements! Get the rest of the clones over here to fight them!," another guard ordered. "But we can't, the only clones left are the ones that are being sent out to Smash!," the guard reminded. "Then use those!," the other guard continued. "But then how are we going to replace the fallen clones in the millions of online matches?!," the guard questioned. "Cut the servers! Turn all of them OFF!," the other guard demanded.
Across the world, all of the kids and adults enjoying the wholesome family fun of Super Smash Bros. Whatever Number They're Up To At This Point online had their matches disconnected and found themselves unable to join any more. "aw man this blows," said one particular individual from Finland
"New objective, clones! Kill all those dickheads!," the guards instructed them. The hundreds of clones of every playable character in the latest iteration of Smash charged towards our heroes, who were just reeling back from making quick work of the company mascot. "Let's go!," Lou led the group into battle. "Fuck yeah!," cheered Bald Bull in another one-line cameo.
MEANWHILE AGAIN Mac and Iwata were making their way through the city of Kyoto duking it out. They flew around buildings at breakneck speed and lunged at each other, meeting each other's punches in huge sonic booms that caused all of the nearby glass to shatter and created gigantic craters in several of the skyscrapers. Iwata formed a ray of condensed energy and shot it at Mac. Mac ducked as the ray sliced through a building, causing the top part of it to slide off and collapse on the ground in a huge collision that probably killed a bunch of people and also caused a huge fire.
As Iwata gazed down at it, wondering if it took out his nemesis, Mac snuck up behind him. spun him around and punched him in the face. Iwata fell backwards and hit a building. Mac flew up to him and punched him again, launching him further into the building. And even in the building, Mac flew up to him AGAIN, grabbed his head, and kneed him in the face jesus christ Mac had no chill today lmao
Iwata had a pretty vicious nose bleed from that kick and his blood painted the floor in an almost cartoony fashion. But this didn't deter him, no sir, he then took Little Mac by his fabulous hair and dragged him outside. Iwata chucked Mac at a nearby building and he crashed through that edifice, and the next, and the next, kinda like a boomerang except he didn't come back. Iwata flew over to where he was and karate chopped him downward. Mac fell to the ground and created a ginormous hole in the street and probably produced some minor tremors. Then Iwata flew down, picked Mac up, and dropkicked him for good measure. Mac flew out of the city and landed in some grassland, obviously digging up some of it when he met the ground.
Weak, Mac struggled to get up but wasn't successful. Iwata hovered down next to him and grabbed him by the neck with his bare hands. "Normally, I would just kill you telepathically, but this time… for you… I will do it with my own flesh, so I can FEEL the live force leave your body!," Iwata screeched, having more or less gone completely insane by this point. Just then, Iwata's ship from before came upon them, hovering above them. "Baka minions, what they do want now?," Iwata growled. "I don't think those are your men, Iwata-san," Mac replied. A cluster of missiles were discharged from the ship, locked onto Iwata. "No, no! Agh!" Iwata dropped Mac and flew off as the missiles followed him and eventually blew up next to him.
Meanwhile, Doc poked his head out of the side of the ship. "Mac!," He called. "Doc!," he called back. Doc jumped out of the ship, even though it was really high up, and landed on the ground next to Mac, though in reality if I followed the laws of physics in this fic he should've been seriously injured or killed. "god God GOD I've missed you so much!," Doc shouted, ferociously glomping Mac. "Me too, me toooo!," Mac replied, returning the fierce hug. They began to make out passionately, at first not even tongue-kissing. They just wanted to feel each other's lips again, to be close again, and then after that they opened their mouths and let their tongues reunite almost as fiercely as they themselves had, perhaps even more so, becoming well acquainted once more with the taste of everything in their chew holes. And though the power of friendship of familial love is strong, the power of hot gay love is even stronger, and as soon as Mac started getting hot and bothered from making out with Doc, his wounds disappeared and his vigor was regained, becoming more powerful than ever.
"F-fools!," Iwata yelled. He glided over to them, visibly worn off, but still intent on fighting. "You can't win! Nintendo always wins! I always win!," Iwata cried. "Sorry, Iwata, but it looks like it's game over for you," Mac announced. "Final attack?," Doc suggested to Mac. He nodded back. The power of love strengthening them, the two rose into the air and lunged towards Iwata. Manliness coursed through their veins as they lurched their fists back and uttered the following words:
"CHAMPION
PUNCH!
FINISHING
BOXER
BLOW!"
"Oh, right now? Well, if you insist…," Mac began to pull down his pants. "No, that's Finishing Boxer Blow II. I'm talking about Finishing Boxer Blow I," Doc explained. "Ah, that makes much sense," Mac conceded. Together, they delivered the culminating punch to Iwata, pushing him back into some huge hills in the distance, causing them to explode. How the hills exploded, idk, but it was awesome and the animation of Iwata flying back into the hills was pretty nice and it looked like the budget for the whole season went into that shot.
"hell ye we did it baby," was the unanimous acclaim of all of our heroes. They had just defeated main antagonist Satoru Iwata and ended Nintendo's reign of tyranny; seems like the perfect time to end this fic for me.
BUT WAIT SHIT NO
"ughhhh," came a guttural voice from the leftover flames. A being came forth from it and began walking towards our heroes. Its skin was all burned off and its flesh was on fire and I think one of its eyes was hanging out of its socket and it was just gross, ew. "Kill me… please… just kill me…" And it became apparent to our dynamic duo that this individual was Iwata, who, for some reason or another, was unable to die.
Suddenly, the gates of heaven opened, and down from the sky fell Masahiro Sakurai, the director of the Super Smash Bros. series. "Sakurami-senpai, please…," the undead Iwata pleaded. "You failed me in the end," Sakurai shouted in a loud blooming voice that made the earth quake and every creature of nature listen closely, "but you served me well over time. I shall relieve you of your burden. You are no longer immortal. You may die." "Thank you… thank you…," Iwata breathed as his body dissipated into sparkling dust, "I will be with you again… Yamauchi-senpai."
"You… are you… God?," Mac asked. "That is the correct," Sakurai replied. "Well, that explains why he never ages," Doc noted. "Welp, thanks for getting rid of Iwata for us, he was kind of creepy," Mac thanked, "See you around." "Stay," Sakurai commanded. Doc and Mac felt an unstoppable urge to stay. "That man was one of my disciples. I sent them to gather up all of the roster members I needed for my game. And you stopped him from completing his mission. You must now receive eternal punishment for your sins!." Sakurai shouted. Wings sprouted from his shoulders and from out of thin air he pulled a glistening white katana.
"Now just who the hell do you think you are?!," voices from above sounded. Sakurai looked up. Organization members were falling down from the ship en route to do Sakurai in. "We just went through a crapton of effort to save these guys, we aren't just going to let you kill them like that, even if you are God!" However, as soon as these individuals entered within a certain distance from Sakurai, they dropped to the ground, dead. "That's some sort of force around him!," Doc deduced. He cracked his knuckles and prepared to go in. Mac stopped him and reached into his bag. He tossed Doc a pair of his old gloving gloves from the '50s. "Thanks, Mac," said Doc.
After putting his gloves on, Doc ran towards Sakurai and prepared to deliver a punch to his address. Sakurai faced Doc just as his fist scraped the force field. The hit caused the force field to become visible, which in turn gave off light and a small gust of wind. Afterward, the force field pushed out, launching Doc back towards Mac. Doc's hand hit Mac's arm and Mac raced in. "Wh-what? Son, this is boxing, not wrestling, there's no tag-teaming!," Doc shouted. "At this point, who gives a shit!," Mac replied, lunging for Sakurai's force field. When he hit it, he caused a small crack. Mac managed to sneak in a second blow, which caused the crack to enlargen. Sakurai pushed him back telepathically, and then glanced at his damaged force field.
"This man… he is so powerful that he can… destroy my field… I must take him down!," Sakurai growled. He dispersed his force field and leaped towards Mac, katana in hand. Sakurai slashed at him several times with utmost grace, being God and all, and Mac just barely managed to dodge them without losing any vital body parts. "Mac!," Doc yelled. He ran over to where Sakurai and Mac fought and, in his onslaught against Mac, Sakurai unintentionally (though I'm sure he would've done so intentionally sooner or later) cut Doc across the chest. "Doc!," Mac cried. Doc fell to the grass, blood oozing from his chest. "You… you bastard!," Mac yelled at God.
"Dad!," Mack called from above. Mac looked up. "Take this!," she shouted, chucking a handgun down at Mac. As Sakurai prepared to deliver the final strike, the handgun landed in Mac's hand. He pointed it at Sakurai's forehead and pulled the trigger just as Sakurai buried the blade in Mac's chest. Both of them looked at each other. "You… you got me first… by a nanosecond…," Sakurai struggled to breathe, "Ugh… I'm sure you'll make… a great successor."
Sakurai dissipated into sparkling dust just like Iwata had done before, but this time the dust particles circled around Mac's body like rings. All of his ailments were cured and Mac became utterly and holy perfect. He was now the new God.
"M-Mac?," Doc asked, looking at all of the commotion going on. A portal opened up in the sky; Mac spread his wings and soared up to it. "Mac?! Mac!," Doc yelled after him. The ship neared Doc and dropped a rope ladder down to him. Doc grabbed onto the ladder and the ship swung it back and forth until it was high for Doc to jump into the portal. And he did right before it closed.
Doc found himself floating through a corridor filled with colors, all different shades fluttering all around him. A heartwarming Japanese song sung by some high-pitched voices played in the background, kinda like "Give Me Wings" from Evangelion 2.0. "Mac?! Where are you?!," Doc cried. Further into the corridor, he found Mac, too floating to the other side. Doc swam through the air to get to him. "Mac! It's me! G-grab my hand!," he cried. Mac opened his eyes. He looked up at this man. "Doc… Doc, what are you doing here?," Mac asked. "I'm here to rescue you," Doc replied. "I don't need rescuing, Doc. I'm going home," He replied. "Home?," Doc inquired. "Yes. To my throne in Heaven, where I will rule over all of creation for the rest of eternity."
"But… what about me?," Doc asked. "You cannot live in Heaven in your physical body. You must go back. Live your life," Mac answered. He turned around, but Doc took His arm. "I don't have a life. Not without you," Doc said solemnly. Mac paused. "Remember what we said when we got married? We'll be together… 'til death do us part," said Doc. "We never got married," Mac reminded him. "We didn't? Oh, right. We just got pregnant with Mack, had her, and lived together from there," Doc remembered. A bit of the old Mac broke through this new God Mac. "Would you like to get married now?," He offered. Doc looked at him and smiled.
"Alright… Do You, Little Mac, take me to be Your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part?," Doc asked. "I do…," Mac replied, "And do you, Doc Louis, take Me to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part?" "I do…," Doc teared up a little, "with every ounce of my being." "Then, by the power invested in me, being God and all, I pronounce us husband and husband." And they kissed, for the first time as a married couple.
"You know… after we get married, we have to consummate it," said Doc, wiggling his eyebrows. "Just what I was thinking," agreed Little Mac in his sexy half-Italian half-New York-ish accent He had cuz He was an Italian American from the Bronx. They tore off their clothes which fluttered off somewhere and they began sucking each other off. "mmm, oh god, little mac, your holy mouth is doing wonders at getting my dick hard. or, instead of god, should i say oh little mac since you're god now OMG OMG MMM THAT FEELS SO GOOD!," Doc moaned in pleasure.
The two moved until they got in 69 position. Mac continued lavishing Doc's sausage and Doc ate out Mac's godly asshole. After they finished getting warmed up. Doc bent over and Mac inserted His other-worldly wiener into his inviting crevice. Mac fucked him long and hard, but it wasn't too rough nor too soft; no, it was just right, as Mac now did everything perfectly since He was God. "YES MAC DADDY FUCK ME YESSSS MAC DADDY FUCK ME BEAT MY INSIDES WITH YOUR PEEPEE," Doc cried. "unf unf unf uhhh this feels soooo goooodddd doc oh my meeee oh my meeee," Mac moaned. He grabbed Doc's wiener and started beating it off for him. "yessss gettin pleasure from both sides thank you mac daddy god bless er i mean little mac bless," Doc thanked. "no prob bae," Mac replied and gave him a sloppy wet kiss.
After a bit more fucking, they both found themselves about to cum. However, they were now nearing the entrance of Heaven. "Th-this is it…," Doc whispered. "No, it's not. There's a way we can go back," Mac suggested. "How?," Doc asked. "We have to unleash our massive loads at the same time. And I don't mean just our semen, I mean our whole beings, all of our energy, everything that we are, were, and ever will be, and that will be enough catapult us out of here," Mac explained. "Alright… let's do this," Doc agreed. They jacked each other weewees off. "unf… UNF… UNFFFFF-AHHHHHH!" Doc and Mac finally reached their climaxes and let loose an enormous amount of hot, sticky, cum. It went through the portal and touched the floor of heaven. Doc and Mac entered the portal but they didn't touch the floor of Heaven, as their gunk geysers rocketed them back into the dimensional corridor.
As they traveled back up, Doc looked at Mac.
"We'll always be together, right Mac?," Doc inquired one final time.
"Always, Coach."
Back on Earth, a rip in the fabric of time and space was produced. It cracked and cracked some more until Doc and Mac BURST through it, causing chunks of time and space to land on the ground and the two of them to shoot up on their still spurting streams of semen into the atmosphere. As they entered into space, the rest of the Doc-Louis family looked on at them from inside the ship. Lou was hugging both Mack and Annie at either of his sides. "Will they live happily ever after, bro?," Mack asked. "Yeah, will they?," Annie additionally pestered. Lou chuckled heartily. "Yes, they will, girls."
"Yes they will."
THE END