I really, really loved 2x13 The Deer Hunter. What an excellent Ressler episode! The writers finally gave him some good screen time and two excellent dialogs with Liz. His speech to her at the end was outstanding! Kudos to Diego for the way he delivered that one! See that writers? If you give Diego scenes that don't involve him just staring at monitors in the bullpen during briefings or sitting beside Liz as they interview people, he ALWAYS delivers. More please! I loved how he stopped her killing the deer hunter – just like she stopped him killing Jonica. There are so many parallels in their relationship. (And his expression of horror/amazement as he looked up at her in that scene was wonderful). So my chapter takes place right after his speech and he's finished up with, "No. Don't make me feel your pain, Liz. I've got more than enough of my own."

As Ressler walked away from Liz with the echo of his last words ringing in his ears, he angrily blinked back unwanted tears. Damn it, get a grip. Heading away from the red and blue flashing lights, he found his SUV and sat down roughly in the driver's seat. Wiping his sleeve across his eyes, he leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes for a moment and tried to steady his breathing.

Damn it!

Opening his eyes again he looked beyond the police lights and the double story brick house and focused instead on the yellow glow of a street lamp down the block. Which was fine for a moment; until it brought back the scene in the basement that had been lit by a single, off white bulb. The sight of Liz strangling the woman with her thighs and choking the life from her. And if he hadn't got there in time, Liz would likely be in cuffs right now for murder.

Which was rather ironic, since she hadn't killed the woman yet was about to admit to something that would have her hauled off in cuffs and marked as a murderer anyway. And it would destroy her. It would destroy the task force. And the thought that rose unbidden in his mind as he sat in the semi dark was that it could destroy him too.

The one thing that had kept him going through Audrey's death and the entire 'I need pain pills to function' experience had been the job he did on the task force. It gave him purpose. It gave his life meaning. He shook his head against his own thoughts. It wasn't just the task force that had achieved that. It was Liz. And now she was going to throw all of that down the drain and this…thing…they had building between them would be over. His best friend was going to… nail herself to a cross.

And as he leaned his head back on the headrest and closed his eyes again, the passenger door opened and the partner who was causing him so much grief was suddenly sitting beside him.

He didn't say anything, merely rolled his head and looked at her and then turned toward the front again.

"You know, you're awfully cute when-"

"Don't. I am not in the mood, Liz."

Her attempt at humor falling short, she plowed on, "Okay. But hear me out. If one of our Blacklisters was covering up a murder by hiding behind Federal resources, you'd be arresting them in a minute. Am I right?"

He sighed heavily and kept his eyes on the street light down the block. He really hated it at times when she was right.

"You know I'm right. Because it's the right thing to do, Ress. To own up to one's crimes, to-"

He whirled on her. "You didn't commit a crime, Liz. Tom is the one who murdered the guy."

"You don't think keeping a man chained in a ship's hold for 4 months and then covering up the fact he killed a guy in front of me is a crime?" Rolling her eyes, she shook her head and looked away from him.

"Fine, that was wrong," he relented, glancing at her before he too returned his gaze to the front. "But marching into Wilcox's office and handing yourself over to him isn't the answer."

"Ress…"

Something in her tone made him turn back toward her. Her voice softened as she spoke again.

"Ress, I'm in over my head here and I'm trying to find the right way out of this. And this is how I've chosen to handle it."

He sighed, and looked downward a moment before meeting her gaze again. "Regardless of what that does to the task force and the work we do. What about Cooper? What about Aram and Samar? What about…me. What are we going to do once Reddington is out of the picture with you gone?"

She bit her lip, and looked across at him. "I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know what else to do. I'm torn between doing what's right by the law and hiding behind the law!"

"I tell you what you need to do. Get that sorry ass of your ex husband back and let him face the music for what he did. Not what you did. But what HE did." His voice rose as he spoke, picturing Tom Keen walking away from them after his phone call to Berlin.

Hey pal. I'm coming for you.

As she opened her mouth to answer he held up his hand to her, cutting her off. "You never should have let him go, Liz."

She didn't like his tone, and her voice rose to match his. "And where am I supposed to find him, huh? He's dropped off the face of the earth."

"I don't know, Liz," he hissed, "but that is what we need to do here. You don't need to take the fall for this guy."

Liz was watching the clench of his jaw, seeing the anger that he was barely keeping in check. "That isn't going to happen, Ress. I wouldn't even know where to start looking."

He glared at her, "Then get your pal Reddington onto it and have him start looking."

"He's not my pal," she told him, trying very hard not to sound like a petulant child.

He chuckled humorlessly. "Seriously Liz, this is a mess. And whatever tiff you have going with Reddington needs to be set aside. Because believe me, the only way you're going to get out of this is to find Tom Keen. And I don't think it's too much to ask that you try that before going to Wilcox."

Liz was looking out the window at the same street lamp that Ressler was focused on. "Jelly Bean…" she said quietly, remembering something.

"What?"

"This guy that Red knows. Little dude. He can apparently find anyone…" her mind was back at the DMV, sitting with Red while they waited amongst the cold infested, sneezing masses for Red's number to be called.

Ressler tilted his head to her, "Well there you go. Like I said, Reddington is the one who can find Tom Keen. Hell, he's probably on Red's Blacklist to begin with."

Liz looked at him quickly. "You think so? I don't know… though there have been times I've wondered if Tom is a Blacklister."

Ressler simply raised his eyebrows and looked at her. "It would not surprise me one bit."

"But the chances of finding him quickly are remote, and in the meantime Wilcox has enough evidence to put me away for a long time. So it's a moot point, Ress. I'm still back here and no closer to a solution."

"Well, the least you can do is ask to meet Reddington in the morning before you go and nail yourself to a cross, agreed?" he asked her. He realized his tone was still harsh, because hell, he was still thinking about how the fallout from this was going to affect the task force.

When she didn't answer, he looked over to her seeing the distant look in her eyes.

"He bought me an apartment…" she said, not looking at him.

He pursed his lips, then nodded. Of course he did. Nothing but the best for daddy's girl. "Then why are you still in that crap motel?" he asked her. Taking a deep breath to try and defuse the anger within, and failing miserably, he continued. "Because Liz, you deserve better."

"I didn't accept it. The key is in an envelope in my desk drawer," she answered, looking squarely at him.

He couldn't help it. It came out before he could stop himself. "What the hell is wrong with you? You've been living out of a suitcase for months. And you get handed an apartment and you don't take it?" he hissed at her, shaking his head.

"Whatever dealings I have with Red from now on are going to be strictly business," she replied, then stopped as he snorted at her. "What?"

"Just listen to yourself. It's never going to be strictly business with Red. Whatever he is to you, it's more than business. And his DNA may not match yours, but hell, he knew a guy who could change DNA. But Liz, the man cares. There is NO denying that. So you may think it's just business, but it isn't. He treats you like a daughter. It's plain as day, Liz."

"He isn't my father though. He left my father inside a burning house," she retorted and suddenly her breath hitched and tears sprang to her eyes. She brushed them away hoping he hadn't seen.

He saw. And the anger he'd been trying to defuse the entire time melted away. And he was back in her crap motel a few weeks ago, lying protectively in bed beside her broken soul the night she'd found that out. Reddington might care for her like a daughter. But he cared too. He just wasn't sure what to do about that… and he knew his anger had been his reaction to…losing her.

"Look, it's late and the guys are clearing out." As he spoke another police car left the scene leaving them and one other FBI black SUV on site. "Why don't I just drop you off at your…" he looked at her and managed a half smile, which he was quite proud of, "at your lovely motel," he finished.

She sighed and briefly touched his arm and mustered up a small smile of her own. "Thank you…it's been a hell of a day," she replied, looking over his shoulder and back at the two story house. He knew where her thoughts were. Same place as his - choking a woman to death.

And while she'd brushed the tears away at the thought of her dead father, now she couldn't hold them back. "God, I could have killed her! I would have killed her!"

He'd been about to start the car but stopped with his hand on the key in the ignition. Looking quickly at her, it was his turn to touch her arm. "But you didn't Liz. She's alive and in custody. She'll be fine."

"Thanks to you!" she cried, looking helplessly at him.

He squeezed her arm, looked away, then back at her. "And you did the same for me once, remember?"

Of course she remembered. Seeing him broken in the snow and about to kill Jonica had been terrifying and heartbreaking. She nodded, wiping her tears away. "I remember."

He spoke quietly now, leaning toward her. "Not my finest hour Liz, but you were there and stopped me. And I returned the favor tonight."

She nodded, meeting his eyes. "We're so much alike, Ress… we go through the same things…"

He'd picked up on that. "I know, Liz." And as he looked at her, seeing her wiping her tears away he let his guard down. "And it's not just the task force that will fall apart without you. I'm afraid I will too." He looked away, back at the street light.

She couldn't answer him and squeezed his arm firmly. And the tears she'd got under control started up all over again. "I don't know what to do, Ress. I need to make a decision and yet…"

"Just meet with Reddington in the morning and see if he can get this jelly bean guy to start looking for Tom. I honestly think that's your only way out of this, Liz." As he looked at her, the other SUV left the scene and the driver nodded to them as he passed.

"But for now, let me get you home, okay?" he said gently

She nodded and looked at him, "To my lovely motel, right?"

"Exactly. Shame you don't have some nice apartment instead, but hey…" he said and looked at her, a smile playing about his lips before turning his eyes back to the road and starting the ignition.

As he pulled out into the street and made their way through the residential area, she looked quietly across at him. "If I go to jail, you can have my nice penthouse apartment with a view of the Potomac," she said at another attempt at humor.

He looked sharply across at her, sucking in a breath before returning his eyes to the road ahead.

"Too soon to joke about that, right?"

He exhaled then, "Yeah, just a tad. Let's get through this first, Liz."

As he stopped at a set of lights, she reached for her phone, wiped the last of her tears and dialed a number.

As the phone was picked up on the other end she spoke into it, looking at Ressler as she did so. "Hey, I need to see you in the morning. Meet me at that café you mentioned last week, at say 7:00am?" she waited a moment as Red spoke, then continued, "Okay, I'll be there." As she slid her phone back in her pocket, he looked at her.

"So what did you decide? Say goodbye to Red before you go to Wilcox, or ask him to find Tom?" he asked, almost afraid of her answer.

"I honestly don't know," she replied, watching the streetlights as they drove toward her motel.

He sucked in a breath of air as he drove, and wondered what tomorrow would bring. Would it end with Liz in handcuffs with her picture on every newspaper with the headline he'd told her earlier that day? Or would Red start looking for her ex husband.

And as he stole a glance at her, needing his partner more than he even liked admitting to himself, neither prospect thrilled him.