Fourteen Times in Perim

by Quazer

When humans found themselves on a Perim that never knew humanity before, they had to learn a lesson quickly, that Perim devours and destroys the unprepared. I, however, found myself having to learn that lesson time and time again. I have died so many times, only to start all over again. Maybe this time I'll survive. AU, rated M for violence and sexual content.

5. The Palace Guard

I do not own Chaotic nor anything related to it. It belongs to TCDigital.

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The Palace Guards

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Time 14:

The Mipedian servant has an expression on his face that I can only describe as a blend of confusion, amusement, and irritation. In a voice that can't quite decide which of those emotions to express, he says, "Forgive my boldness in asking, for it really isn't my place to question our guests' habits, but why exactly are you under the bed?"

It's morning in Al Mipedim, and I am indeed under the bed. I spent the whole night there just in case an assassin came in during the night. I really could have come up with a better idea, but it seems that I wasn't in any danger this time.

I stretch as best as I can while under the bed and yawn loudly. "I have a habit of sleeping under the bed when I'm scared," I say while crafting my face into an embarrassed expression. "It makes me feel safe."

"Scared, sir?" The servant doesn't look like he believes me.

I raise my eyebrows at the Mipedian. "Imagine you suddenly found yourself in, say, the Underworld, with no way to defend yourself."

I see the Mipedian shudder. "Ah." He stands up, and I can only see his feet now. "In any case, a place has been set for you in the soldiers' mess hall. I will escort you when you are prepared."

I roll out from under the bed and stand up, fully dressed. "I'm ready now."

The servant sighs in exasperation and gestures to the door. "Right this way."

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The mess hall looks a lot like an elementary school cafeteria back on Earth, except the benches and tables are made of stone, and instead of children there are adult lizard people. There's also quite a lot more meat being served, and there are plant fibers strewn on the ground to make cleaning up spills easier.

In retrospect, it's not that much like a cafeteria at all.

There's a table with prepared meal settings. There's a platter with a very large cut of meat, a yellowish vegetable, and a bowl of gruel. I grab it and walk toward the tables, scanning the crowd for faces I might recognize.

My presence has not gone unnoticed. I'm probably the first human to enter the soldiers' mess hall, so I'm something of a new sight, even if who knows how many humans appeared in their city yesterday. While I walk down the hall looking around, the sounds of eating and conversation gradually die down. Maybe half of the Mipedians are staring at me, while the other half are trying not to stare.

I see a large Mipedian with red scales and distinctive horns. Perfect. I walk over to him and place my platter next to his. The Mipedian stops chewing as I sit myself down.

I look at the red Mipedian to my left, and a spiky yellow Mipedian to my right. "Good morning. My name is Michael."

The red Mipedian chews a couple times and swallows. "Maliph," he says in a thick voice.

"Malvadine," the yellow Mipedian mutters with a slight hiss soon afterwards.

This is a surprise. I'd been searching for Maliph quite deliberately, but Malvadine also being here? This turned out better than I thought. I pick up the yellow vegetable. "What's this?" I ask in what I hope is an ignorant tone.

Malvadine grins a little. "It's the inside of a cactus plant," he says, watching me closely.

I deliberately push my lower jaw forward, as if contemplating what Malvadine said. Of course, I know how it tastes already. At least I won't have to act when I eat it. I stick a large chunk of the cactus into my mouth and take a bite.

The cactus juice is so bitter that I gag. "Agh!" I spit the bite out and start pouring gruel into my mouth to mask the taste.

Malvadine howls with laughter, and Maliph covers the front of his muzzle with one hand and snorts. Many other Mipedians laugh at my antics as well.

I scrape the top of my tongue against my upper teeth. It's going to get a long time to get used to that taste again. "I can't feel my tongue," I mutter.

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"...and of course the moment you tell someone not to do something, you know what's going to happen," Maliph tells me with a wide grin.

I press my palm to my face. "He sticks his tongue into the open end of the Cyclance." I snicker. "Seems he was in for a shock."

Another Mipedian chimes in, "I'm sure the experience was electrifying!" That earned a healthy mix of laughter and groans from the crowd.

It been a few minutes, and Maliph, Malvadine and I are already acting like good friends. Several of the soldiers are already referring to us as "Maliph, Michael, Malvadine", with even a little bit of a rhythm to the words.

After a while a loud voice calls, "All right, breakfast is over! Everyone to the bathhouses!"

Maliph claps me on the shoulder as he stands. "Maybe I'll see you around afterwords. I have a rare day off today."

Malvadine makes a show of plugging his nose. "You know, you could use a trip to the bathhouse yourself."

I give my armpit a sniff. Whew, I reek!

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Water is a precious resource. Al Mipedim, the desert that the city is named after, gets very little rain even in the wet season. Therefore what water the Mipedians have is not wasted on things like washing. A Mipedian bathhouse is instead much like a sauna, at least in that there are heated rooms in it. In place of water, a perfumed oil is used.

The Mipedians first let their bodies heat up in the rooms. Then, they cover their bodies with the oil, let it sit for a while, then scrape it off with a paddle into little bowls. The oil is then cleaned so it can be used again. It's a lot less disgusting than it sounds, and it works perfectly fine for humans too. Ancient Greeks or Romans did something kind of similar to this if I recall correctly.

Maliph needs help getting oil on his back, so I help him out. Then Maliph gets my back. "Most other creatures find this incredibly uncomfortable, bathing with Mipedians" he comments. "You don't seem to be."

I can't very well tell Maliph that this is actually my twentieth time or so in a Mipedian bathhouse. Instead I say, "Eh, we're all guys here. We're not seeing anything we don't see every time we drop our pants. Or lift our loincloths or whatever."

"That's... not what I meant," Maliph stammers while Malvadine bursts out laughing from across the room. Then Maliph smirks. "That's actually a good point, I'll have to remember that one."

I laugh as well. This is good, I've got something of a safety net now. Maliph and Malvadine are two of the palace guards, and befriending them greatly increases my chances for survival. Always make sure that the people who are allowed to kill you like you enough not to.

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Up next: The Third Time

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Like I said before, Chaotic belongs to TCDigital.

Special Note: I am looking for a picture to represent Fourteen Times in Perim. If you know of a good picture or are willing to make one, please let me know.

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