So I end up at campaign HQ on Sunday evening, just getting some stuff set up for the next day and it's hot as hell in that small store front.
I decide to talk a walk for some evening air, but the intense summer heat hasn't yet dissipated. I'm sweating after a block even though it's after dinnertime. Awesome.
I make it as far as Mamoru's coffee shop before I decide to turn around. I thought they might be open (they have a fruit smoothie that would be really delicious right now actually) but of course the closed sign is up and the dining room lights are off. Oh well. I get ready to cross the street and return to HQ when I hear my name. And I know that voice.
"Wow, I thought you didn't know my name," I say, tilting my head at Mamoru, who is leaning against the now-open coffee shop door, giving me that half-smile that I despise. The one that makes my stomach drop into my feet. "Oh, wait," I add, "it must be that you just can't spell my name?" Zing. His half-smile turns into a full grin.
"C'mon in," he nods his head toward the open door. "It's cool inside, I'll get you a water."
Sure, I'll just go into a closed coffee shop with some guy I barely know sounds perfectly legit. Of course I do it, though.
I mean, he said he'd give me water and air conditioning, okay? That's the only reason.
It's actually sort of fun to watch Mamoru close down the shop. He can't let me help even a little bit for "liability reasons" (not sure why it's okay I'm sitting here sipping water after hours and watching him wipe the counters and take out the trash but I'm not going to question it), but we chat as he goes through his chores. And I'm shamelessly checking him out, I admit. His hands are really nice, but his arms aren't bad either, with his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows so he can wash the steamers.
He suddenly stands up from emptying the small fridge under the sink, and I have to quickly school my features to make it less obvious I was staring at his ass. Goddamit, Mamoru.
"Want some whipped cream?" he says, holding up a half empty can.
"Um- hell yeah, I do," I open my mouth and empties about half of what was left in the can into my mouth, so that he can also get a mouthful out of the can before tossing it in the trash. I'm laughing hysterically at the sight of Mamoru eating whipped cream directly from the can. "Do they know what you do here after closing?"
"Hey, I'm very trustworthy," he says, with a wink. He hold up the trashcan so I can toss the empty water cup into it. I miss, spectacularly, but Mamoru doesn't tease me, he just smiles.
After he's done behind the counter, he and I go sit at a booth along the wall. I rest my arm on the table next to us and try not to focus on how close I am to him, our arms and hands nearly touching.
"So..." I say, acutely aware of his closeness, despite my best efforts. "Thanks for the water. And, ya know, the company."
"Sure," he says, but his voice isn't quite normal and I look up to see him looking at me so intensely I'm wondering if I have some whipped cream or something on my mouth, oh god, do I? I reach up to the corner of my lips, my fingertips cold on the heat of my face. "Um-"
With a hitch in his breathing, Mamoru takes my hand in his and pulls it away from my mouth, his fingertips stroking across my palm. My nerves are screaming and I hope Mamoru has some preliminary medical training because I'm honestly not sure I'm going to survive this.
He leans toward me slowly, without fanfare, like he's not even aware of what he's doing. Mamoru actually stops a hair's breadth from my lips, I can feel his breath on my face and it's uneven, shallow.
This is going to freaking kill me. I'm about to open my mouth to ask him what the heck he thinks he's doing, teasing me like this, when he finally kisses me and all synapsis in my brain go into some sort of supernova melt-down for a good fifteen seconds.
He smells like coffee but he tastes like chocolate. His kisses start featherlight and build in intensity until I'm eagerly keeping pace with him, running my hands up his arms into his hair, and yes, oh my god, it is totally as soft as it looks. Mamoru stops kissing my lips for a moment, sliding his cheek against mine and pressing his lips to my neck with a soft moan and I have to say something before I completely lose it.
"Wait," I say, shaking my head and pulling away slightly. He stops what he's doing and pulls back, looking at me with concern. He's still trying to catch his breath.
But, as much as I'm enjoying myself, I don't want to be responsible for getting him fired. "Is this okay to do? Won't you get in trouble?" I mean, maybe they have security cameras or something I don't know.
When Mamoru realizes the nature of my concern he lets out a breath and gives me that famous half-smile.
"Nah, I do this all the time," he says.
He plays it straight for just a beat too long before grinning at my expression and it's so infuriating and so adorable that I can't decide if I want to curse at him or kiss him some more. Mamoru leans in, and makes the choice for me.
He runs his fingertips down my cheek, to my neck and threads them through the soft hairs curling at the nape of my neck while he kisses me. It's so tender and gentle and sweet but incredibly sexy at the same time.
Oh, I am in huge trouble.
We are literally sitting in a booth, knees bumping together, elbows pressing into the table. Honestly, it's not the setting I'd picture for the most amazing, ridiculously hot make-out session I've ever been a part of, but I mean, I'm not sure how much of this I would picture? That is, that my barista would be a snarky jerk who I can't stop thinking about, and who is also a phenomenal kisser. With really soft hair - for real, I can't stop touching it, curling my fingers around the back of his head. I don't want to stop kissing him.
I edge myself closer to him and the table falls over with an earth-shattering bang.
We both startle violently and I expect this is where he jumps up and we part ways with a 'what were we doing?' and 'gosh, how awkward.' I realize I'm half waiting for this to happen but Mamoru looks at the table, shrugs, and pulls me up onto his lap without a second thought.
Oh thank god, I think, as I wrap my legs around him and press my lips to his again. I am not ready for this to be over. And it's actually a lot more comfortable without the table there, actually.
It is a long time before the passionate kisses turn softer, before his hands slowly come back to my shoulders, to my face, and I link mine loosely around his neck. He breathes out softly as he pulls away from me, a soft expression on his face.
I moisten my lips and sigh.
Mamoru smiles a little, brushes some wayward hair back from my face. I suddenly wonder how long he's wanted to kiss me like that, if it kept him up at night the way it did me. A little shiver runs up my spine at the thought.
"So, um..." I start, not sure what I'm supposed to say. 'Thanks'? 'That was awesome and I really hope to do it again'? 'You are a super talented kisser, congratulations'? Instead, I brilliantly mumble, "It's late and I should probably go."
"Of course," he says, a little breathlessly. He rakes a hand through his hair, which has become adorably ruffled and his nervous gesture only makes it worse. God, I want to kiss him again.
Hold it together, Usagi, goddamn.
"When can I see you again?" I ask, "I mean, in a non buying-chai-from-you situation?"
Mamoru pauses for a moment an expression I can't place flitters across his features, just for a second.
"Did Motoki tell you about the party here?"
He did, in fact. The employees at the shop are throwing Mamoru a graduation party thing on Saturday night, they are closing early for it and everything. But it's the same night as a gala fundraiser for Haruna, and I have to be there. But maybe I can duck out early, if I call in some favors from Naru.
I really want to meet Mamoru's friends and coworkers, I want to stand there at his arm, as his guest... and yes, jeeze, I really want to kiss him again. "I might be late, but I'll do my best to come," I tell him.
I miss the graduation party. I don't know why I thought I wouldn't. The gala ran late and even if my ducking out on clean-up (sorry, Naru! I think), and running all the way to the coffee shop in heels, I didn't make it. The lights were out and the doors were locked and this time Mamoru wasn't there to unlock them for me.
I sighed and leaned against the doors, angry and disappointed. I wonder why I didn't just think to give Mamoru my phone number. My brain was all scrambled from his ridiculously unfair kissing talent. Now I'm out three dollars for a chai tea every hour for the next few days until I see him at cashier again. Ugh.
The next morning Mamoru isn't there, and but Motoki is. I apologize for missing the party Mamoru invited me to, and ask when he'll be working next (I'm about two hickeys past caring what Motoki thinks of me stalking down his friend's work schedule to be honest).
"Oh, tomorrow's actually Mamoru's last day," Motoki says, as he takes the order of the next in line. "He's leaving soon."
"Leaving?" I tilt my head curiously. "Like for summer break?"
Motoki laughs. "Like for a semester. He's got a Fulbright grant for biomed research at a university in London."
Wait, what?!
"Oh right, that," I pretend like I knew all along, like I wasn't completely turned on my head with this new information.
Motoki says some more stuff, but he's still pretty distracted with actually doing his job, since they are pretty busy. I decide to let him get back to work. He doesn't even notice when I leave.
I'm so out of it at work that Naru pulls me aside and demands to know what's wrong.
I shrug and say it's nothing.
Because it is.
The whole thing was nothing.
Mamoru knew he was leaving, so what was one indiscretion with a flirty customer that he'd never have to see again?
I am so angry at myself for building this up, so angry at Mamoru for playing me, so angry because angry is so much easier to feel than the sharper feeing rising up just below it in my chest.
I show up for Mamoru's last day. I have no idea why. I mean, the chai lattes are delicious but Starbucks is literally down the damn street.
This time on the cup, along with 'Usako' (still not my goddamn name), he's scrawled his phone number in that familiar writing that's been teasing me for weeks straight.
Oh, hell no.
I march right up to the cashier station, not caring I was elbowing paying customers out of the way, and shoved the cup at him in annoyance.
"What is this, Mamoru?" I say, "Is this so I keep in touch while you are galavanting around London? Why? In case I get a sudden craving for sub-par coffee shop customer service?"
I'm being incredibly mean, and utterly unfair to him, but I can't bring myself to care.
Mamoru gives a half shrug, looking at me almost sadly and I'm so enraged that he is standing there feeling sorry for me after he started this whole thing. After he teased me, after he kissed me, the entire time knowing he's about to be leaving the country for half a year. And that I had to find out from Motoki, like he wasn't even going to tell me.
"Thanks, but no thanks." I hand the cup right back to him, chai and all. He fumbles a little in surprise. I hope the people in line are liking the show.
"Usako-"
Don't you dare.
"Stop looking at me like that, I'll be fine," I snap at him. "This isn't the only place in town to get a fucking vanilla chai."
I leave without looking back, and don't trip or drop anything. It should be when the movie soundtrack swells and everyone runs up to give me triumphant high-fives.
Instead I just felt like utter crap.