I do not own Chaotic nor anything related to it. It belongs to TCDigital.

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The Paparazzi

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No video cameras followed the Humans from Earth to Perim. Neither did any voice recorders. This does nothing to discourage the tide of people who want to interview me as I try to go to the bathhouse in the morning.

"How many times have you spoken with King Theb-sarr?" one man asks while holding a small crystal in front of my face.

"Twice," I grunt while picking up my pace.

Another man shoves the first man's hand out of the way and presents his own crystal. "Did you and King Theb-sarr stage the events that landed you at the royal table during the celebration?"

"No," I say curtly as I try to steer away.

A woman with what looks like a clipboard runs up beside me. "Could you enlighten us about what you and Princess Isis were talking about last night?"

"You'll have to ask her," I mutter before I suddenly turn and slip into an alley. The other Humans are still following me. This must be a bit like how celebrities feel on Earth sometimes. On days where they aren't specifically looking for the cameras, of course.

I'm momentarily blinded by a flash of light. I stop walking and blink away the blindness. In front of me is a man holding a glowing metal object in one hand and a metal plate in the other. The metal plate discolors until a picture of my face is visible on it. Well, Humans seem to have reinvented flash photography.

I push past the man and head for the palace. A woman runs up with a crystal and asks, "What business do you have at the palace, Michael?"

"I'm heading for the soldiers' bathhouse," I growl.

Another woman with a crystal. "Is it true that you're having sexual liaisons with members of the palace guard?"

I grit my teeth. "Those rumors are false." I can't dodge anyone anymore, they're crowding around me.

The same woman asks, "Then why do you go to the soldiers' bathhouse every morning instead of one closer to your home?"

I'm this close to punching somebody. I turn to face the woman, grab the crystal, and speak into it. "I got to the soldiers' bathhouse because it's open to everyone, it's free, and it's along the way to my workplace."

"But what-" begins the woman.

"I have already answered your question," I state before trying to push my way through the crowd to the palace.

A man blocks my path. "What do you want most right now?"

Seriously? "Mipedian invisibility," I snap. "Failing that, then to get to work on time."

Something scaly wraps around my waist, and I give a small shout as I'm lifted into the air by something invisible. The wannabe interviewers scatter as I appear to float over them, with large footprints appearing in the sand beneath me.

I'm lowered to the ground in front of the palace, and Maliph flickers out of invisibility in front of me. "Are you hurt?" he asks.

"Not hurt," I breathe. "You scared me, though."

Before Maliph can respond, there's another flash of light. I blink and look towards the crowd. "Say cheese," I mutter.

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Five hours. After I escaped from the paparazzi, that's how long it took for the first newspaper in Al Mipedim to be printed. The Chaotic Eye was its name. I swear, a former player of Chaotic had to be the one to come up with that.

Along with the first newspaper came the first headline. Across the top of the page is printed, Local Human in League with Royalty? The article itself was an essay describing yesterday's events, as well as pieces of interviews with me and other people.

"Look at this," I growl, pointing at a paragraph. "Who wrote this? 'Michael placed himself in the seat reserved for the leader of the Humans during last night's celebration, a move that shows his plans to rule over the Human tribe.' This is bullcrap!"

Shasta leans over the counter to look at the page. "Here's another one. 'Michael was snatched away from reporters this morning by the invisible hands of his not-so-secret lover, Maliph of the palace guard.'" He shakes his head. "I see why you don't associate with your fellow humans very much."

Sett glares at his copy. "'Michael's employer, a Mipedian named Set, threatened to fire the Human for associating with Princess Isis, breaking their marriage vows-'" He slaps the paper on the table before finishing the sentence. "I'm going to kill somebody," he hisses. "Twenty pages of slander. Someone is working hard to destroy your reputation."

I glance through my paper for the article Sett had been reading. "They spelled your name wrong, too."

Sett gives me a one-eyed stare. "I noticed, but I thought your dignity was more important to talk about."

I sigh and lean back. "It's not that bad."

Shasta almost drops the drink he was mixing. "Not that bad? Michael, the kindest thing this paper says about you is that you're a scheming usurper to the throne!"

"All this stuff is so the paper can sell," I say with a wave of my hand. "Ask the next Human to enter the bar what he thinks of the paper." I stand up and head for a corner of the bar.

It's not long before a group of teenagers enter the bar, a few of them holding copies of the newspaper. They're all laughing.

Shasta hesitates before leaning over the counter towards the teens. "So... what's your opinion of The Chaotic Eye?"

The young man at the head of the group lets out a whoop. "It's the biggest joke I've heard since we all ended up here! You'd have to be an idiot to believe the trash in this!"

One of the young women grins. "My favorites are the two articles on page seven. One claims that Michael's actually a Mipedian in disguise, while the other says he's an Overworld biology experiment sent to spy on the king."

I bet Prince Mudeenu was the one they interviewed for that story.

Shasta frowns. "Well, there are probably a few idiots who do believe this newspaper."

The lead teen laughs. "This isn't a newspaper, it's a grabbag for rumors. It's more like MAD Magazine than a newspaper."

"What's a-?" Shasta begins before the laughing crowd heads for a table.

Sett stares across the bar at me in surprise and mouths, "Humans are insane."

I nod with a grin. Now all I need to do is wait for everyone to lose interest in me and start reporting on other things.

"No such thing as bad publicity, hm?" Ashley says from beside me. "Can I get you anything?"

I fall out of my chair. "...Ashley, next you'll tell me you've figured out how to turn completely invisible."

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Up next: The Strange News

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Like I said before, Chaotic belongs to TCDigital.

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