All Joking Aside
Chapter 6
Two days later, in the early morning, Max set two bowls of oatmeal on the table for breakfast. Daniel was in deep thought as he worked on a crossword puzzle and Max was determined to start the day off right.
"Hey, Doc," Lewicki, "speaking of oatmeal..."
"We weren't," Daniel brusquely stated, without looking up as he continued working on his crossword page.
Max ignored his rudeness, "So Doc...do you know what the kid said to his mother when she poured oatmeal on him?"
Daniel purposely kept his head down, "Lewicki, why would a mother pour oatmeal on her son? Isn't that a form of child abuse?"
Max snorted, "Doc! It's a joke! Work with me here! What did the kid say to his mother when she poured oatmeal on him?"
Daniel at last looked up while at the same time whipping the black framed glasses from his face.
"What? You're a comedian now?"
"My god, this joke is taking up more time than the State of the Union speech!" Max commented, "will you just answer the question?"
"I give up."
"Already you give up," Max sighed, "I've seen more determination from a pig climbing a tree."
Daniel was about to tell him that pigs have nothing to do with oatmeal when suddenly Hercule Poirot appeared, sitting next to Lewicki, his mustache newly waxed. This morning he looked very leisurely, wearing an all white suit.
Poirot lifted his index finger as if to make a point, "When one is confronted with a challenge, Dr. Pierce, one must face it head on!"
Meaning he wanted Daniel to solve the riddle.
Daniel immediately turned back to Max.
"No, wait, Lewicki; don't tell me the answer," he said , "I've changed my mind. Let me guess."
"I knew I'd catch your attention," Max looked pleased, "so Doc, what did the boy say to his mother when she poured oatmeal on him?"
"How about..." Daniel actually looked as if he were seriously considering the joke, "the boy then looked down at the oatmeal dripping on him and declared... 'I guess breakfast is on me'?"
He gave Max a hopeful look.
Max was straight-faced, "You're not even trying."
Poirot nodded knowingly,"Ahh, I see the young one lacks a true sense of humor, Dr. Pierce," he philosophized, as he pointed to his brain, "Sometimes it is best not to waste the little gray cells on the thinking of useless facts. Perhaps, we should move on."
"Okay, Lewicki, you've got me," Daniel surrendered, ready to hear the answer,"What did the boy say to his mother when she poured oatmeal on him?"
Max sat up and looked pleased, "...the boy responded, 'how can you be so gruel?' he waited and when he got no response, he added, "'Gruel..get it?"
"Unfortunately, I do," Daniel replied, expressionless as he shoved a spoonful of oatmeal in his mouth and then continued on with his crossword puzzle.
"I guess the entertainment portion of our morning is over," Max decided, as he too, began to eat his oatmeal.
"Sorry," Daniel surprisingly apologized, taking a second bite, "I've been distracted by the Yuss killings at the DA's office. I find it startling how he was able to disappear into the thin air, because I still believe he didn't walk out with the EMT's."
This was the first time Daniel had talked about the case in two days. It caught Max by surprise.
"I thought you and Kate had parted ways with this case; with all cases, in fact," Max pointed out, "Kate seemed pretty upset with you for implying Donnie could be a possible suspect."
"I'm the one who should be upset!" Daniel defended himself, "Especially since Kate is the most fair person I know and she is not looking at THIS case objectively!" he sounded frustrated.
"Well, she is engaged to Donnie, and he's in the middle of all this mess," Max said, "and look at it this way, Doc. If it were me who was pointed out as a suspect in a vicious double murder, could you be totally objective as to my guilt or innocence?"
Daniel looked expressionless, "But I'm not engaged to you."
"Doc, that's not the point!"
"Okay, then, let's get back to the investigation," Daniel stated, now looking to be in deep thought, "Another theory I'm considering is that the murders were collateral damage and Yuss was part of a conspiracy. Maybe there was a huge operation going down, like a bank heist, where Yuss was the leader and he KNEW with a part time job, he would go undetected by the feds. But then his co-workers somehow found out...maybe they found an opened email of his or something...and it got back to Yuss. That's why he killed them, so they wouldn't foil his plans."
He gave a look of satisfaction. The theory was looking better and better to him.
Max folded his arms, "That's all well and good, Doc. Except wouldn't Donnie have told Kate about these nefarious dealings since she's an FBI agent?"
"Maybe Donnie's involved somehow, too," Daniel countered.
Max looked unconvinced, "why are you so convinced that Donnie's not on the up-and-up, Doc?"
Daniel looked distressed, "You didn't see the look Donnie had at the hospital."
"What look?" Max asked, confused.
"I can't describe it...his expression...it was very strange."
"Hmmm," murmured Max, pretending to give it some thought, "So Donnie had a strange look. Could it be that he just had indigestion? Or he had a headache," now his tone sounded sarcastic, "or...I've got it! Maybe Donnie had that look because he had just been shot at the shoulder and the stomach and it hurt him. What do you think?"
Daniel looked back down at his crossword puzzle.
"And that is why,Lewicki," he stated, as he went back to working on his puzzle, "we DON'T converse at the breakfast table!"
Max grinned.
"By the way, Doc," he was saying, "after breakfast, I plan to go to the grocery store. You need anything?"
Daniel was about to answer 'no' when he heard Poirot's voice again.
"Perhaps, Dr. Pierce, a bit of chocolate might help us to organize our thoughts much better; it definitely aids in making all gray matter flow more fluidly," Poirot casually suggested. When Daniel looked up, Poirot had leaned in closer to make his point, "and naturally this delectable delight must be of the highest quality, which obviously describes Belgium chocolate to a 'T'...se il vous plaît, which meant 'please' in French."
That gave Daniel another idea.
Under 12-Down in his crossword puzzle, Daniel wrote the word "please" for the word definition of "used in polite requests".
"Actually, since you're at the store, why don't you pick up some chocolate for me," Daniel stated nonchalantly, as he kept his head down to continue to work on his puzzle.
Lewicki thought he heard wrong.
"C-Chocolate?"
"Yes," Daniel wrote another word on his word puzzle, not aware of Max's stunned look.
"But Doc! You NEVER eat chocolate! You always say-"
"Chocolate is never quoted, it just... understands," Daniel stated intellectually, while Poirot nodded agreeably in the background and Max dropped his mouth, "and...oh, Lewicki, make sure it's Belgium chocolate."
So it was settled.
.
Where the hell would I find Belgium chocolate?
Max mumbled under his breath as he pushed the shopping cart at the local Whole Foods Market. Sometimes he felt he didn't know Doc at all! He wondered down his third aisle, unable to even find the candy section. As he passed the ice cream aisle, something, or rather someone caught his eye in the freezer department, causing Max to pause.
Kate Moretti was doing her own quick shopping during lunchtime. She wouldn't be needing very many items since Donnie was still recuperating in the hospital. Already she had a week's worth of TV dinner in her cart and now she was peering at all the different ice cream cartons in the freezer section.
With the week she's had, she felt she deserved to indulge herself with some ice cream. Not only was she dealing with a double murder investigation, she was now under investigation for letting killer Gene Yuss escape from right under her nose, leaving behind two dead victims and a critically injured Donnie.
And then on top of that, she had to deal with the fact that she had treated Daniel unfairly. He was right about her not seeing the investigation objectively; if it were anyone else but Donnie in that hospital room, she would be considering that individual a person of interest.
Opening the door of the freezer, she retrieved a pint of the Rocky Road ice cream and put it in her cart. No, she decided, the last thing she needed was something with the word 'rocky' in it.
Putting it back, the Cookie Dough ice cream caught her eye. She reached for it and placed it in her cart. As she put her hands on the bar of the cart, she half thought that if she wanted a cookie dough flavor, why not just bake homemade cookies? Looking through the freezer window, she noted the Cherry Jubilee. A much better choice. She swung the door open again and reached for that to place in her cart. As the freezer door shut, she suddenly realized she didn't want a reminder of happy childhood memories. Opening the door, she put the carton back, shut the door and then figured that maybe a fun flavor might cheer her up. Once more opening the door, she reached for the carton once more and put it back in her cart. As she began to push her shopping cart, she caught a glance of the Chunky Monkey ice cream.
Of course.
Chunky Monkey ice cream.
What better way to wallow in sorrow than sticking your spoon in a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream?
Backing up with her cart, Kate once again opened the freezer door, put back the Cherry Jubilee ice cream and happily reached for the pint...no, the half gallon of Chunky Monkey.
She was ready to merrily go on her way at last.
"Hello, Kate."
Kate looked up and saw Max Lewicki standing next to her, and by the grin on his face, she knew he must have witness her whole indecisive ice cream choosing method.
She cleared her throat.
"Hello, Max," Kate tried to sound casual, "I'm surprised to see you here."
Max shrugged, "Well, you know how the Doc gets when he gets a hankering for something."
"I do, " Kate smiled, "So how is Daniel?" she asked, looking like she didn't have a care in the world.
Max was not fooled, "You could always come over and find out."
Kate looked away uncomfortably. It had been a long two days for her, but she was also stubborn.
"I..." she forced herself to look directly at Max, "I would, but I've...been really busy..."
It gave Max the opening he needed. He took a step forward.
"Kate, we need to talk about you and the Doc."
.
Meanwhile Daniel was trying to occupy his mind by finishing up his crossword puzzle. He was looking at a four-letter word for the meaning 'an excessive amount or supply'. It only took him a half second to write the word 'glut'. Then he used the 'g' for the next clue in going down.
It was a six-letter word. The clue was 'a person who is exceptionally intelligent or creative, either generally or in some particular respect'. Daniel smiled to himself. Some days the crossword puzzle was just too easy. Using the 'g' from glut, he wrote down the word 'genius'.
As he stared at the word, his smile suddenly disappeared.
Genius.
Next to the word, he wrote the suspect's name of the shooting.
Gene Yuss.
They sounded suspiciously alike.
Could it really be that easy?
Was Gene Yuss a fake name, something he made up as a private joke or a way to stick it to everyone, or was it a mere coincidence?
As he ponder this new possibility, he heard the front door being unlocked and opened.
"Doc! I'm home!" Max yelled as Daniel heard the sounds of feet shuffling and plastic grocery bags.
Daniel popped out of his seat, excited about his new discovery.
"Lewicki, glad you're back!" Daniel exclaimed as he ran to the front door, "I just figured out an interesting theory about Yuss! He isn't all he claimed to be! If I'm not mistaken, I think-"
He stopped in his tracks, for standing directly behind Max was Kate.
.
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