Never Again Good-bye
Chapter 18
Daniel stood in front of the seat-filled lecture hall.
"There really isn't a definition for the word thought, yet we're thinking it all the time," he began, "and if we have thoughts all the time in our brains, can we rewire them to be happier?"
Kelly raised her hand, "Aren't we usually born with a certain happy or unhappy outlook?"
To which, another student, Nadia, added, "Yes, Dr. Pierce, isn't it the genes that determine whether or not we are an optimist or a pessimist?"
Daniel nodded to both students.
"In a sense, yes. Our genes DO determine the kind of person we become, but that is not the entire story," he continued, "You see, the brain also contributes to forming our personality because with our brain, we can learn from our experiences. This is known as experience-dependent neuroplasticity and it gives us more power to change our mind for the better."
Christina, a student, spoke out, "So it's just a matter of training your brain to see the glass half full instead of half empty."
"That's one way to word it," Daniel concurred, "but then the obvious follow-up question would be: how does one train their brain to be happy?" he looked around, but no one had an answer, so he answered it himself, "it begins simply with your mind, which must develop the habit of thinking good thoughts; good karma. Am I sounding like a guru? Should I be sitting in a lotus position?"
"You do that anyway, Doc, and with a trancelike look to boot!" Max pointed out, creating even more chuckles.
Daniel sat on his desk in the lotus position.
"Don't let me fool you," he told the class, "I'm just sitting cross-legged; I can't help it if my legs are flexible," he smiled, "anyway, positive thoughts make you happy, while negative thoughts make you unhappy."
He then became serious as he pointed to a student.
"You!" he singled out a male student, "think of a happy thought."
Jeff puffed out his chest and quickly responded, "I've got a hot date this weekend!"
The class chuckled.
"Well, that's happy on YOUR side, but maybe not so much on the female end," Daniel said sarcastically, bringing on some snickering.
He then turned to a female.
"You in the red top," he selected a female this time, "think of one negative thought."
It didn't take Diana long to think of one, "I've gained two pounds over the weekend."
"Yes!" Daniel shouted out in agreement, then backtracked, "uh, not 'yes' that you've gained two pounds..." to which there responded a few chuckles, "what I meant is...yes, that was a negative thought and it is one that can make you feel helpless."
He looked off to the left side of the classroom, "Mr. Lewicki, Could you give us another negative thought?"
"I can't wait until this lecture is over," Max stated amid some laughs.
Without skipping a beat, Daniel countered with, "People who think they're funny are really annoying to those of us who really are," he deadpanned, which caused even bigger laughs.
He then turned to the last female student.
"You with the headband," he pointed at her, "think a positive thought."
"I like spending time with my boyfriend," Lorena happily stated.
Daniel smiled, "Good one! That is definitely a good thought...to everyone except maybe your parents!" he exclaimed, with the entire class laughing.
Then he continued the lecture "but how do we maintain thinking positive thoughts? How do we skillfully stimulate the neural substrates so that we can cultivate a more positive state of mind? You only need to keep one thing in mind," he paused to add suspense, "or more accurately, keep in mind one helpful word to guide us on our way to optimism."
He turned to his left again.
"Mr. Lewicki, do you want to take a guess at what that word could be?"
"How about the word 'not'?" Max smoothly guessed, "as in... the negative 'I'm so unfit' will change to a positive when you think: 'I'm so unfit... NOT!"
The students laughed.
"Not quite, Mr. Lewicki, but for once, you're on the right track." Daniel smiled, "Thinking positively doesn't mean you need to wear rose colored glasses. You still have to be realistic. But just adding one word can make the difference. Let's take the example 'I'm so unfit', which definitely brings in bad feelings about oneself...but if you change the thought to: 'I'm so unfit, however, I am now exercising and getting fitter every day,' it changes a negative thought into a positive one and in turn, that makes it one more step closer to happiness!"
He gestured over to Diana.
"To further prove this point; your pessimistic claim of ''I've gained two pounds over the weekend' becomes positive with: ''I've gained two pounds over the weekend, however if I skip the dessert every day, maybe I'll shed those two pounds this coming weekend." Daniel further pointed out, "And Mr. Lewicki's 'I can't wait until this lecture is over' can be 'I can't wait until this lecture is over, however, it's infinitely better than what Dr Pierce has waiting for me at home."
The whole class cracked up.
"In conclusion," Daniel closed his lecture, "understanding the nature of brain plasticity can optimize functional outcome in turning your mind into thinking optimistically. This can be obtained simply by applying the results-oriented word of 'however' to your thought process, OR you can learn to be eternally optimistic the hard way..." he paused with a self-assured expression, "...which is to fall hopelessly in love with someone special and wait for them to feel the same way, too.'"
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After class, Daniel stayed awhile to answer students' questions. By the time he returned to his office, Max had left to do some research in the library and would be back later to take him home.
Or maybe he wouldn't go home.
As he placed his briefcase on his desk, thoughts of Kate permeated though his mind. He couldn't get over the idea that although he knew how much he craved her, turns out she wanted him just as much.
Walking to the window, he looked out on the perfect Chicago blue sky. As he gazed out, his eyes widened at what he saw below. Kate was actually sitting on the bench underneath his favorite tree.
Feeling overjoyed, he rushed out.
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It was a beautiful fall day on the campus of CLMU. The sweeping greenery, brick buildings and changing colors of the trees added to its intellectual, quaint settings. As Daniel approached her, Kate could be seen talking on the cell phone, discussing the last case they had just wrapped up. She was more casually dressed than usual, wearing a black knit dress with black boots. Over that she had on a rustic black and red buffalo checked jacket, making her look chic yet charming at the same time.
She seemed so intense in the conversation, yet, when she looked up and saw Daniel, her face suddenly softened as a smile lit up her entire face. Then once again she was caught up in her cellphone call.
"Yes, yes, I see, Ed," she was rushing the call now, "alright...I understand...yes, I will...hey, listen...could I call you back? Someone's on my other line and I really need to talk with him..." she gave Daniel a knowing look, "yes...I agree, but I'll talk to you about this later this afternoon, alright? Good bye, Ed."
As Daniel took a seat next to her on the bench, Kate hung up, her hand shaky slightly with Daniel's presence. Then she turned and concentrated all her attention on him.
"Hi," she said, looking utterly inviting.
Daniel wanted to reach out to touch her so badly that his body actually ached. He had to force himself to keep the conversation neutral.
"Kate," Daniel greeted her, "were you talking to the district attorney regarding Donnie?"
"I was," she admitted with a sigh, showing she wasn't enjoying the conversation, "Ed said he's going to charge Donnie with voluntary manslaughter under mitigating circumstances. That would mean, if he's lucky, Donnie would be serving a max of 10 years, and he might even be out with good behavior in four. I think that's the best deal he can get for Donnie."
She looked down, feeling defeated.
Daniel reached out and touched her chin, bringing her head up and soon she was staring into his velvety brown eyes.
"You know, Kate," he said as gently as possible, "that doesn't sound so bad for him. When he gets out, he'll still be a young man. Or at least he'll just be at the beginning of middle-age, which isn't a bad age to be, let me tell you."
She perked up, "I wouldn't know...although...I've heard some people even peak at middle age."
"You may be right" Daniel verified, "but that doesn't mean people like me can't be young at heart. For example I still get disappointed when the scoop of ice cream falls off its cone."
She smiled.
Then her expression changed and she tilted her head, "You look different today," she announced, her gaze sweeping over him in a feminine assessment.
"Really?" he seemed to be feigning his reaction as he looked down, "Did a piece of lettuce fall down the front of my shirt?"
She smiled as she continued staring intently at his face.
"I know what it is," she reached out and possessively touched his jaw, "you're clean-shaven...no more five o'clock shadow!"
At her touch, Daniel felt racked with pleasure and exquisite tension as her hand lingered. He clutched her hand, stopping her.
"Careful with the merchandise," he warned her, "it's delicate."
"But you're my eye candy," she claimed, "or, more accurately, my eye-meatloaf."
Now it was Daniel's turn to smile
So this was what being in love felt like.
It was both amazing and terrifying.
He reached over and covered her mouth with his. They found themselves lost in a sudden blaze of passion and sweetness. When they separated, Kate had to force down the pounding of her heart which had increased to a deafening roar.
"Oh, Dan-iel..." she breathlessly called out, unable to continue.
"Kate," the way he said her name was so full of emotions, "you know how I feel about you. And how happy you've made me," his eyes were sparkling, "so...there's something I want to give to you before I ask you a very important question," he said opaquely.
Then suddenly from nowhere, Daniel produced a jewelry box, exactly the size of a ringbox.
Oh noooo
"Wha-" Kate sputtered out her confusion. A crimson flood of color swept over her at what the implication meant, "Daniel, is that..." she didn't know how to word it, "that is, you don't plan to..."
"Kate, I've read about love, lectured about love, but finding the right person to say it to has taken me a lifetime..."
Kate couldn't believe it. He was looking at her so tenderly now. She stared at the ring box now. Was he going to ask her the big question? Now?
Kate looked confused, "Daniel, right now my head is spinning and my heart is going a thousand beats a minute!"
She gasped when he got off the bench and went on one knee.
Oh god, Kate thought, this is it.
"I've always felt as if I was that one crazy wheel on a grocery cart," he said with a half smile as he held out the little box in front of her, "you know, the one that went all wobbly when the other three went straight, but you're the mechanic who fixed that wheel."
Kate smiled.
In his own way, Daniel was very romantic.
He smiled back and then became serious again as he placed his hand on the lid of the box.
Kate broke out in a sweat.
She didn't know what she was going to say or do.
"Kate Moretti," he announced before lifting the lid. She peered inside. To her surprise, it was a ring, but a class ring with a blue gem positioned in the middle, attached to a long chain.
"...will you do me the honor...and go steady with me?" Daniel completed his question with the box still opened to the gleaming ring.
Kate's whole face erupted with delight at the surprised question.
This was perfect! So very perfect!
"Oh Daniel!" she gushed, her answer was immediate but the next part had a jesting tone to it, "I've just been asked to go steady with a college professor! I accept! Yes, oh YES!"
He was laughing at her reaction as they both stood and she practically yanked he ring necklace out from the box.
"Gimme that!" she insisted.
"Wow," Daniel teased, "I hope you don't show that kind of behavior at the dinner table!"
A smile pulled up from deep inside Daniel at Kate obvious delight. He took the necklace ring from her and placed it around her neck. She proudly she looked down at her new gift.
She was now considered part of Daniel, just like he was part of her.
Throwing her arms around him, they kissed again, the pleasure of being together, really together driving them both wild.
"It fits perfect!" she said, continually admiring it.
"Come on," he said, "let's go home."
She looked over at him, "Home?"
"To my house," he said as he looked warmly at her, "for lunch. I'll whip you up a great lunch!"
She lifted a doubtful eyebrow, "Really? I didn't even know you knew how to boil water!"
"Who needs to know how to boil water? I never claimed to be a chemist!" Daniel straight-faced.
"Very funny, but I'm serious," Kate could barely keep from laughing, "what dish do you know how to make?"
"One of my many specialties" Daniel quickly answered, "it's a dish I prepare with peanuts that have been pureed lightly, garnished with the essence of jellied grape, and then nestled lovingly on a bed of pain blanc!"
Kate looked sideways at him, "in other words, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"
He shrugged, "Just don't get too jealous of my hidden talents."
"They're hidden alright," she teased.
He smiled, "and then after lunch, Kate, I want to love you and afterwards, hold you until the sun sets."
"And then if your arms don't fall off from holding me that long, we can examine all the twinkling the stars in the night sky," she added.
"All the while laughing until we can't breathe," he offered,"And you will never say good-bye again, only good night."
She nodded, her eyes gleaming, "Sounds like a plan."
(Daniel's voice-over) When it comes to love, a brilliant mind or a beautiful body isn't the requirement. So then, what IS love? It is more easily experienced than defined. Love means thinking the peanut butter and jelly sandwich you'll be sharing is the best you've ever eaten, a thousand times over. It means being in a disagreement, but holding hands at the end of the day. And finally, love is the touching of two souls; and even though one is damaged, the other one is there to help to heal it. And then you exchange places.
So is there ever a 'good' in goodbye? The answer is a resounding yes. It's when one is saying goodbye to a friendship and then turning back around and saying hello... to a lifetime of love."
(Cue violin music)
*Scene of Daniel putting his arm around Kate as they walk down the pathway of the lush campus, just one of many couples who will eventually pledge a lifetime together*
(music abruptly stops)
*****Black screen******
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And...that's it! Thank you for reading all the way to the end! Also, special thanks to all the readers and especially the reviewers who have taken the time to read and comment!
Farewell, Perception, you deserved a better send-off than you received and hopefully this is one small way to 'right' the wrong, for Daniel and Kate should have happily ended up together!