This chapter is just cute. :)

I've noticed that I don't have as many reviews coming in and that makes me sad. I challenge you guys to send in all of the reviews that you possibly can! Come on, surprise me!

xoxo

THR

Chapter 28

Your name was Commander Liz Shepard and your irate emotions had just melted away.

Those few little words that had been uttered by the Admiral made you forget all about the drama that had just gone down between you and your parents. Your subpar attitude and Cerberus impressions had not left a good mark on your records, but having a chance to be with somebody while on the mission made you so happy that you felt like you could melt.

That person was Garrus, which made it even better.

You had scheduled another meeting with Hackett in a few days time. You had spent the remainder of your stay in his office discussing logistics and informing Garrus of what was to happen when the mission was executed. Although Hackett wasn't allowed to divulge much to your favorite Turian, he now had a better understanding of what you were going into. Until Garrus gained the proper security clearance from the Alliance, he would be on shaky ground. In your opinion, the hard part of this whole thing hadn't even begun yet. Once his file was submitted to the governing body on Earth, it would take at least a week for a single background check to go through. Getting his authorization was going to be even more difficult than actually navigating Batarian space.

You turned to the man in question and he was sitting beside you in your shuttle coupe. The ways he would sneak glances at the scenery between fussing with his visor made you not want to interrupt him. Even with all of the free shore leave you had gotten with him, you couldn't say that you had ever fully accepted the fact that you could fully relax. Now neither of you had anything to worry about; the machine taking you home had been set on autopilot and you were entirely alone. It felt wonderful to take a breather after the fiasco that had gone down back on Vancouver. You had been taking one big breather since finishing the Collectors, but it was the moments like this that made you comprehended that your qualms were limited. You were free from responsibility in a sense, and it was liberating.

"I didn't think it would ever feel so good to not be busy, y'know?"

You felt like you were talking to yourself at first. You hadn't expected him to respond. Even though Turians could run on less sleep than you, his bright blue eyes were drooping when they turned to look at you.

"I never thought that I could go a week without getting an email." he responded with a tired chuckle coming after his comment. "Getting back to work is more exciting than sitting around, though. It's not that I don't like watching Earth's atmosphere too, because the view from your bed is fantastic, but being able to fight for a cause is just as rewarding. Feeling the recoil of a gun and knowing that you're doing the galaxy some good is what helps to create those kinds of relaxing moments."

"I get it. Most people can't say that they go out and kills people daily to make a living. I guess that makes us different. To be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way, but times like this are priceless. It's almost like a feeling of satisfaction…like all of the hard work is starting to catch up to us and it's paying off."

He moved closer to you while you pulled out your omni-tool for a brief second. There was no reason for you to have it out, but staring at it made you think of the incident that had occurred a few hours prior. Your model wasn't top of the line. It wasn't due to your own personal preferences. Ariake Technologies manufactured the best versions and there was no way in hell that you were going to support your parents' false empire.

"I didn't know you were related to Katherine and the Captain. Shepard's a fairly common name among humans, isn't it?"

Your omni-tool disappeared and a fiery feeling welled up inside of you at the mention of your parents' names. You didn't appreciate the subject change. Your feelings of malice weren't about to get the better of you, though. You wouldn't let them.

"I wasn't the one who made it a famous name to begin with." you grumbled. "We were never close, anyway. Me and my parents, that is."

You hadn't dared to mention your family to Garrus. His home life had been much less dysfunctional than yours. Whenever the subject came up, discussing his sister's wild teenage years was more fun to talk about than retelling the story about the time you hooked up with a red sand dealer to enhance your biotics for a final exam in school.

"Part of me wants to say that they're nice people, but that doesn't feel rational based on what happened. They weren't abusive, were they? I'd have to pull out the old sniper if they were."

You wanted desperately to expose your home life to him. You wanted to tell him about how alone you had felt until you enlisted. You had been nothing more than collateral damage in your parents' life and the only person that knew about it was the teddy bear that still sat on your childhood bed.

"What happened was irrational and stupid of me. Goddamn it, I threw a chair at them, Garrus! Look at what I did! It doesn't make up for all of the years that they left me alone!"

You saw Garrus' position shift and he offered you a warm arm and a shoulder to nuzzle. His sentiments were genuine, but that didn't change how hypocritical your parents' had been.

"If you're still angry I can try and see if we can get the shuttle to dock at an Alliance training facility and you can shoot at some of the practice mechs that the recruits take out. Breaking in shouldn't be too hard at this hour. Spectre statuses tend to make things like that easier." he suggested with a soothing tone. You looked up at him and smirked.

"Yeah right. Your childhood seemed fine and dandy from what you told me. If you knew the bullshit I went through you would also know that a few bullets and fake targets won't make things better. And before you get a mood swing, no, I don't want to go into details."

In an instant, he pushed you away. His once comforting demeanor had turned into one that was a little more hostile. What had slipped out of your mouth had been accidental yet sarcastic. Garrus, on the other hand, wasn't taking it as lightly as you had. The shuttle felt a little darker and the heat building up in your armor wasn't the most pleasant feeling to accompany these negative emotions encircling you.

"Shepard, don't take this the wrong way, but my parents were never in a good place, either. My mother is sick and my father is still shaming me for deferring my C-Sec position. My sister...damn it, I haven't even heard from her in a while because my mother keeps her busy with her illness! I came out here to fight with you because it's obvious that you're an amazing leader who can inspire a single crew to take out an entire rogue race. I stayed because you're the one thing that has gone right for me in a long time! Don't make me feel like a hypocrite."

Your heart dropped.

As far as you were concerned, you had thought that his former home life had been enjoyable. His father, although brash and rule-abiding, seemed at least a little loving. You now understood why the subject of his mother hadn't come up often. You weren't sure of what sort of thing he meant by "sick". If it was anything like the terms that were used on Earth, it meant something along the lines of cancer.

He went back to work on whatever he had been doing on his visor. The delicate etchings that had been engraved on it were still visible in the moonlight. Your desire to reach out and make things better didn't feel like a good idea.

"I'm not anything more than a woman who can give good orders."

That feeling of only talking to yourself was coming on again. You had hit a sore spot with him and you weren't sure of how to mend it. It had never happened before and you began to get paranoid.

Was this your first fight? No, it couldn't be.

"And I didn't mean a bit of that. I had no idea you had family problems. Hell, there was no way I could have known. I don't know why I said it; it was just—aw, fuck. There's no way I can justify it, is there? Since we're bringing up the past, I might as well spill it. My parents left because they had better things to do than raise a kid they didn't want. I grew up with a nanny and eventually slipped into doing shitty things. Drugs, hooking up with guys, cheating on tests…you know, the bad kid stuff. One day I woke up with a soldier next to me and I was stark naked. I told myself how stupid it was to be so lowly. I couldn't be like that for the rest of my life. My parents could have more money than god and I would still be a loser. I had to be proactive so I became a self-made bitch in the Alliance. For a period of time, I loved it. But seeing my parents again it…god, I don't even know how to explain it. I didn't think we had the 'bad parents' thing in common but now that we do—"

You felt a pair of scruffy lips brush against your cheek. Unlike all of the other times you felt that sensation, they didn't comfort you. Was this his sign of forgiveness or were you supposed to keep on rambling?

"My parents left me alone and let me get into things that could have ruined my life! It can screw up a person like me and I already say things that I shouldn't! It's not even fucking fair, Garrus…G-Garrus…fucking Vakarian!"

You felt a trail of kisses being planted on the few bare spots left on your neck that weren't covered by armor. The tiny red spots that they left there made you wild and you couldn't help but succumb to Garrus' gestures. You took this as a token of his appreciation and allowed yourself to surrender to his intoxicating moves. From what he was doing now, you knew that you had put him in his place when it came to romance.

His lips moved to your ear, which he nipped at with the utmost amount of care. He didn't want you to have an allergic reaction, which would undoubtedly make the situation awkward.

"I know I can't make this better but I know something that can. Being emotionally supportive isn't my area of expertise…however, I think we can forget about this for now and debate in the morning. This thing is a coupe, isn't it? Should be more fun than the elevator."

You gnawed at your own lips hungrily and didn't waste any time disassembling his armor. As you ripped each piece off and threw it down onto the ground, you felt as though you were going to lose consciousness.

Your own body had become one hundred percent bare. His moves were faster than yours, and while you were still working on his cuisses he had managed to strip you down.

A bright purple shell was now lying on the floor with a few blue parts mixed in for good measure. You allowed yourself to be thrown down onto the double seats, and the colors refracted light and put you into a trance.

Every sense you had was being stimulated and you tried your best to do the same for your partner, but your mind was still reflected on the makeshift fight. Was sex supposed to make things better or shut you up?

You didn't mind the bite marks or venomous kisses that left scars on your bare back. It would be an understatement to say that you adored them.

You let your hand wander to his cheek, and as you pulled his body down on top of yours, you whispered to him just as he had to you.

"I love you and I'm so sorry."

His entire being crashed into you. You were able to pick up on everything even though you already had at least a million times before.

Your name was Commander Liz Shepard and this was the start of your descent into madness.

Your name was Liz Shepard and you had a new project.

Keeping busy wasn't something that you were able to do before because there had been nothing going on that interested you. Now that you were no longer alone, being productive was something that you did to pass the time. Your mental evaluation hadn't been assigned a date yet, and you couldn't say that it was something that you were looking forward to. Instead of dwelling on the issue, you chose to assist Joker in repairing EDI. His cause had been presented to you over a half assed dinner of waffles and beer that you had ordered in discreetly from Apollo's. He had insisted that he didn't need much help, but after reading over his notes you didn't have to be sane to realize that he needed help.

You had been proficient in your tech skills since high school. It was one of the perks of being classified as a sentinel. However, your lack of mental stability made focusing harder than it should have been. Coding and research sometimes made your brain feel like it was made of mush. Once you applied yourself it began to get easier. Concepts came back to you with time.

Helping someone that you cared about brought back a little sunshine into your life. It wasn't like the fake Citadel sun's feeling, either. It was like Earth's sun, which would penetrate the atmosphere and left you with that warm fuzzy feeling that you hated to love so much.

You tended to work on this project out on your balcony. Sometimes Garrus would join you.

Your conversations had been light and you could tell that he was holding back. You had stopped fingering your upper chest for your dog tags and he had stopped trying to push you to talk.

It wasn't like you didn't want to speak to him about what had happened over the past year. Discussing what had happened over the last two weeks was hard enough, though.

"Yeah, I sat in my house, blew up some windows and killed some Turians. No biggie."

You had also discovered that you missed being with him. You hadn't kissed him for real since the day he had arrived and his most romantic gesture was checking on you before sneaking off to bed.

He slept on the couch.

The whole situation agitated you. There was so much you could do to improve it, but every time you yearned for his romantic attention something stopped you. The feelings of betrayal and paranoia hit you like a boulder crushing your body. He had told you so many times that he had loved you. It had been clear since the moment he had crashed back into your life.

Why couldn't you express it to him?

Your old self would have told you to stop acting like a pussy. You were emotionally stronger than this.

But when you caught yourself sneaking glances at him next to you on the balcony like you were now, you felt like you really couldn't do it.

He was in his civilian clothes and was reading over a datapad that contained some sort of interesting information that was undoubtedly more entertaining than you were. He didn't appear to be too engrossed, which you denied in your mind. He would rather read about the cleanup of Palaven or god knows what else. Perhaps he was looking into easy ways to break up with a long term girlfriend and he had copied some information from an Extranet site onto the pad.

His legs were crossed and he looked more domesticated than you would have liked. You were the same way; your N7 hoodie hung loosely on your body and you had taken a liking to a pair of red shorts in your closet. You had been wearing them for the past few days because nobody seemed to care if you wore something else.

You couldn't focus on the AI hardware hookup information that you were supposed to be reading. You wanted to shoved the datapads to the ground and wrap your legs around your own Turian's thin torso like you used to. You would kiss him with so much passion that his head would spin and his inexperience with love would begin to show again.

These felt like mere fantasies, but you were determined to make them a reality.

"Garrus?"

The man looked up and gave you a blank expression.

"Shepard?"

This hadn't been the response you were looking for.

"Remember those times when you talked about retiring to somewhere warm and tropical? We were going to have kids and make sure that nobody would ever bother us again? After all of this goes down and I get…better, is that still a feasible dream?"

There was no hesitation in his reply. He was in another chair, and he promptly uncrossed his legs and made his way over to you. In turn, you stood up and waited for him to say something. Anything would be better than sitting in silence and thinking about those tantalizing "what if" moments.

"We'll make it through. We always do. I don't care if getting off this damn ship is harder than throwing a target out onto the Presidium and hitting it square in the center; we're going to retire to the most beautiful planet you could ever imagine. It just might take a while."

You could tell that he wasn't sure how to handle you. Would a kiss or a hug be more appropriate?

There was no way of being sure unless one of you made a move.

You got what you wanted and you took the first step.

It was like old times that really weren't that old to begin with.

Just like in your daydreams, you took him into an embrace that quickly turned to one of lust and pure romantic euphoria. He responded with the same amount of devotion.

"It's been a long time since I've done something like this. Was it really before the final stand of the war when we last had—"

You put your finger to his lips and closed the distance between the two of you. His arms didn't feel foreign and you loved the way he gripped your waist, which he had dubbed as "supportive" a long time ago.

Joker had been off at Huerta getting his cast removed, which meant that you were entirely alone.

You didn't waste any time getting inside. In order to speed up the process, he unzipped your hoodie and exposed your chest which was covered with a plain bra. It had been a while since you had broken out the lacy lingerie, but he didn't seem to mind the simplicity.

The feeling of him picking you up and hauling you to the couch brought back memories that you never forgot. You let your hoodie fall off your shoulders and burst out into laughter when your body bounced from being dropped on the sofa. Acting natural wasn't a thing you had to think about now. It was almost as if being with him was starting to feel natural again.

Unlike how the two of you normally went about with your foreplay, you took charge and pinned him down as fast as you could. The change of pace was something that he didn't adjust to easily.

Just as you were about to rip off one last innocent piece of clothing from his spindly frame, you felt the click of a door and watched from behind the couch as Joker walked in. He had an unsuspecting frown on his face and called out to you.

"Shep, the Council is waiting for you at Huerta! They've got an interesting sidekick with them…it's Kaiden! I forgot to mention the email I got from him the other day. Who would have known the jackass was trying to get you pardoned! They want to do the psych thing now, by the way! I know I sound informal but they're pretty pissed. They wouldn't tell me nothing about this whole 'critical examination'!"

You couldn't believe Joker's timing. He had always been the most ironic member of your crew, and this fact was rearing its ugly head again. You didn't move at all.

Keeping your body pressed against Garrus' was really the only thing that you were able to do. Your Turian boyfriend looked up and answered your unspoken complaint with a wry smile.

"Tonight seems like a better option. Meet me in your room after the appointment. I'll come with."

Your name was Liz Shepard, and your plan had almost entirely failed.