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THR

Chapter 39

Your name was Commander Liz Shepard and you were preparing some kind of speech to accompany your meeting that you had scheduled with the Normandy's new crew.

There weren't a considerable amount of people aboard the vessel like there used to be. With the exception of a few Alliance reps and servicemen, the real crew comprised of you, Kaidan and Garrus. This bothered you to a certain extent. If something happened to anyone on the squad it meant that you would be risking catastrophic failure. Despite the solitary reputation of most Spectres, you found that working in small groups got things accomplished faster. It was nothing more than a tactical preference, but you didn't know what would happen if your style failed. You stared at the laptop document in front of you and drummed your fingers on your desk in impatience. You had called for the assembly of the staff in a half hour and your mind was drawing a blank.

Your quarters were deserted with the exception of Garrus, but his presence was always welcome. He sat on the bed analyzing algorithms on his own PDA while you thought over things in your head.

"Vakarian, how did I use to plan those old motivational speeches? I don't want to feel like a walking cliché or some shit. This is one of the most important announcements I've ever made and I can't screw up."

Garrus was in the dark about what was happening. Up until a few hours prior, he was aware of just about as much as you when it came to the mission. Now that you were informed, you refused to tell him anything early. Just like everyone else, you were to present the data given to you by Hackett at the gathering and he was going to listen to it then.

He put the tablet down and looked at you, his eyes as blue as ever.

"It would probably help if you told me what you're motivating us for."

You exhaled at him and rolled your eyes, something that you found yourself doing in jest a lot. It wasn't with him but with the crew instead. Being constantly asked if you needed anything or if the engineers were handling the maintenance correctly wasn't something you would be capable of laughing off for much longer.

"Aw, come on. That would so ruin it." You teased. In actuality, the information that had been presented to you regarding the mission was terrifying. Diffusing the tension was the last defense mechanism at your immediate disposal. "Winging it sounds like the better option right now."

He erupted into laughter, which wasn't something the Turian man did quite often. After pulling out his work again, he leaned back in his chair and clicked his visor off. The azure glow covering his eye faded away, making his face look less illuminated than usual.

"Commander Shepard winging something? I don't think that's the best idea. Don't you remember what happened when you winged it and threw down a thousand credits at a game of quasar?"

This made you shut down your laptop indefinitely. You remembered that night well; it had been back before you were a Spectre and a few credits mattered a lot more than they should have. You gained ten thousand credits from only a single thousand and lost it all in one night with Garrus and Tali at your side. You smiled at the memory and wondered how things went from silly to complicated within a few years.

"That was the best night of your life. Admit it."

You stood up from your seat and took the opportunity to stretch before you had to change into proper clothing. You weren't about to address your crew in a pair of sweats. That wasn't something that you would allow to happen.

"Actually, that thing you did last night made a few quasar matches seem pretty meager. Who knew your kind could do so much with their mouths?"

Instead of heading towards your closet, you stood frozen in your place with red tinted cheeks. You tried your hardest to play it coy but you had a feeling that it wasn't working whatsoever.

"Whatever you say, big guy." you mustered while pulling an older shore leave uniform that you didn't wear much anymore. The dress resembled styles one might find on Illium or even the Citadel; it was long, satiny and covered in shades of red. It had been a gift from someone back in the day, but its exact origins were unbeknownst to you.

You didn't seem to care about Garrus' presence while pulling off your unattractive clothing. In fact, him being there made you turn things up a notch. It was petty of you to move your hips a little slower and take your time with pulling off your shirt. He was watching you with bated breath but said nothing. Knowing that his eyes were all over you made you turn around and throw him your bedroom eyes, which were normally reserved for pillow talk or foreplay.

"Trying not to smirk?" you mocked. The blood colored dress slid over your figure, revealing some of your more nasty scars from missions gone awry. Parts of your stomach and back were exposed. Those sections were bruised and battered and redder than the garnet garment itself.

"Turians have an excellent sense of emotional control." He countered. "And I think you know that I'm lying when I say that."

Just as expected, a smirk played on his face and you settled into the unused piece of clothing. With a little smoothing here and there, you didn't look half bad. Out of place, yes, but not bad.

"Shepard, it has come to my attention that the crew is assembling. I suggest going down early in order to deliver the battle plans."

You cringed at the words that EDI had broadcasted over the intercom.

Winging it really felt like an even shittier idea than it had before.

No matter how high you were in the galaxy's invisible caste system, doing things like this were almost worse than thrusting yourself into a battle. If you didn't deliver the correct words to a crew, they had the potential to bomb the entire mission and be decimated by the enemy. Motivation was always key no matter what you were fighting against. Whether it be Collectors, Geth or Reapers, you had to be prepared. You didn't have the luxury of being able to tell them what they would be up against or what their chances were, but you did have the knowledge to be able to tell them to kick ass regardless of what they were facing. It was a cunning way of doing things yet it was very effective most of the time.

"Tell them I'll be right down. I just need a few more minutes."

"Of course, Commander."

As you headed towards the door, you stopped for a moment and began to speak.

"Are we really ready for this? Another mission, I mean. It just feels like all of this is so different. I'm going into it blind and nothing is going right. I just figured out what we have at stake and if I screw this up…damn it, I don't know what I'll do."

Garrus had picked himself up off of his chair without you noticing. He passed you and exited your quarters, leaving you with one last thought.

"If the Alliance and the Citadel joined up and assigned this to you it means that this is something that they can't handle alone." he said, his voice echoing in the tight hallway. "You're the one that told me to never lose hope in everything that I did. You encouraged everyone no matter how bitter you felt on the inside. Live by your own words, Liz."

Your name was Commander Liz Shepard and it took you a long time to follow Garrus down to the CIC.

Your name was Kaidan Alenko and you were preparing yourself for one of Shepard's trademark speeches.

Back when Saren was still a problem, it wasn't common for her to address the crew by throwing herself up on an imaginary pedestal. Being good at public speaking like she was wasn't difficult. It required specific components that, if honed correctly, brought out the leader in anyone who stood in front of a crowd.

Shepard had all of these characteristics. She was capable of acting charismatic and empathetic towards people. She also had learned to act like a bad bitch when everyone else in the room needed that extra push. Most importantly, her actions and words empowered people to be like her. At one point you had been in that crowd. She was younger than you but you had yearned to accomplish things like she had. You wanted to taste the words of empowerment on your tongue and fire her words out like bullets in a gun.

You had grown out of that phase, though. Now her words were laced with lies that you detected in each sentenced she uttered. You were prejudiced towards her because of her actions. In your mind, this didn't lessen your opinion's validity; it amplified it.

The crew surrounding you comprised of about ten others. You knew them all well, for they were all of Alliance origins. Some of them you considered friends. Others were mere acquaintances whom you had met because of years on the job.

One in particular wasn't someone you got along with.

The Normandy's temporary staff member, Navigator Bryson Blake wasn't someone you were on kind terms with. He was a few years older than you with a thin physique and dirty blond locks that were cropped close to his head. For a gangly man, his personality packed a punch. You couldn't remember where you had met before, but a few bar encounters was enough to make you hate him.

"The Little Biotic Boy" and "L2 Baby" were among the childish nicknames thrown at you during his drunken ramblings, which were disregarded by the Alliance. He had been rather quiet towards you during your current stay on the Normandy. It was so unusual that you were expecting an outburst any minute.

As if your worst fears had been realized by the man, he stumbled over to you with the smile of a bastard.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Alenko. Heard your girl is the one heading this ship. Ain't her name Shepard?"

You felt like the entire room was capable of hearing you. Nobody in the small crowd noticed your conversation in reality.

"Navigator, I'd prefer to keep my off-duty life private. You can ask Shepard herself when she's done commandeering these Batarians."

Blake raised an eyebrow at the name of the species.

"Batarians! Ha! And hey, if you wanna keep her all to yourself, that's gotta mean that you banged her pretty hard. Am I right or are you just the little pussy that you've been since I met ya? I bet you could do some good things with those amps of yours in the bedroom."

"Ex-girlfriend." you replied while gritting your teeth. "She's my ex-girlfriend and she sure as hell isn't someone you should talk about like that. She'll tear you apart whether you like it or not and then throw you to the varren."

Blake shut up after that, boosting your confidence up a notch. You were soon glad that your remark had made an impact on the man. The Commander entered seconds later wearing attire that matched what most of the female crew members were wearing. The final bit of shore leave time had just concluded, meaning that most of them hadn't bothered to get back into proper uniform.

The dress that had been thrown onto her body without much care brought back recollections that you had persevered to forget. The rose hues of the threads matched her hair and you were reminded of one of the many times she had visited the Citadel with you in the unsuspecting garment. Things had been so innocent back then. Times like the one you were living in now were shrouded with decaying virtue

Your teeth nibbled on your lip as she stood in front of the hallway that led to the helm of the ship. All at once, the crew became dead silent.

"I'd like to thank all of you for assembling on such short notice." she began, her voice less powerful than it had been before.

"I called the crew in here because I needed to reveal something to all of you. I understand not knowing the purpose of a mission with such high importance is hypocritical. When I signed on for this, I didn't know anything, either. Some might say this was a stupid idea, but I have to disagree."

You readied yourself once again for her supremacy bullshit. Instead, she shocked you.

"This mission is for the Alliance and the Citadel. They need us and only us to stop whatever it is that's in their path. They might have let me down, but that doesn't mean that I'm turning my back on them. No organization is perfect. I figured that out during my bout with Cerberus. But what the Alliance has done is something no government has done before, and their accomplishments would have been non-existent without a few flaws along the way. If at all you doubt me or my motivations, feel free to come up to my cabin. You talk and I'll listen."

Your entire body tensed up. What she had just uttered was the exact opposite of what you had been expecting. There was no hate for the Alliance whatsoever.

"Right now, we have something that's more important on the line. The Alliance has a covert spy staking out at the edge of the galaxy, which means it's Batarian territory. Based on what's been heard by Hackett, she's gone off of the radar in the Hegemony's prisons. She's up for terrorism, which means she has to be evacuated ASAP. The survival of this woman and her former team's data is vital due to its sensitive nature. It involves intel about an impending Reaper invasion that cannot be compromised at any cost. Her status isn't known as of now, which is why the Admiral has issued us a two day warning to get out into Batarian space to get her. This isn't something we can cut corners with. I need your full support."

Your name was Kaidan Alenko and you were starting to realize why you had been assigned to this mission.

Anything that involved Shepard and the Reapers was bound to be dangerous.

Your name was Liz Shepard and there was only one person in the galaxy who was capable of making you feel whole again. The best part of this was that he was towering above you as you thought of him.

Putting your trust in someone was a last resort for you. Close friendships were also a blatant no-no that you didn't have much experience with. Other than the people who had served on your squad, you didn't keep companions for very long. They either died or forgot about you.

Romantic partnership was even rarer, as was consecrating a relationship without deceit and unrequited falsehoods getting in the way. Most of your partners hadn't meant much. Calling them expendable would be a harsh term, but it was as if there was no other way to describe them. You cared about them but not to the point of total love. Living in a world that was constantly changing and tossing away commitment had made you behave as such. Sex meant nothing until now.

You screamed out his name and neglected the fact that you weren't alone in the penthouse. Your body gave out as if each bad memory had been forcibly removed. At the same time, energy was pulsating around you. Your lower half was warm and slick with sweat. His name came out of your mouth again and again and you beamed when his kisses made their way from your delicate lips to your chest. As you yelled for him, it became so clear that he was the one for you. There was nobody else no matter how much others tried to convince you. His finger left your core and your arms flailed just so they could envelop his carapace, which was still clothed. You wanted to give all of your love to him no matter what it took.

With all of your strength, you pulled the clothing up and over his head without hesitation. Understanding your dream like state, he took no time in pulling himself away from your assets to assist.

Instead of overwhelming feelings of hesitation and fear, you grabbed onto him and pushed him up and away from you. The two of you were on your knees now, his frame reaching above yours by just a few inches. Watching the vids about erogenous zones had been a bitch, but this helped you determine that placing your hands on his waist was a surefire way to get him to loosen up a bit. You did just that, throwing his head back before he leaned in for another kiss.

"I never thought it would be like this." he whispered into your ear. "Through all of the bullshit…Saren, the Collectors, and even the Reapers, I wouldn't have been the one to guess that we'd be here on a bathroom floor together. We did it."

A lusty giggle left your mouth and your hand snaked from his waist and down into his underwear, which was the last piece of clothing left on either of your bodies.

"Speaking of old times, do you remember that time long ago when you said that humans were good with their mouths?"

It didn't take you long to find what you wanted. It was, after all, protruding up into your grasp.

You gripped him but took care to not hurt him or get him too excited. He moaned, which was the signal that meant to move faster.

You slid your hand up and down his length, increasing in speed and soon disposing of his undergarment altogether.

"Y-You better believe it."

His reply was later than expected, but this didn't put you off at all. You soon had him in a compromising position in his own. With your body now towering over his, you had thrown him down on the floor into submission as you started to satisfy his needs.

His legs clenched when you leaned down. Your mouth was dangerously close to his cock, which was enough to drive him wild. Hearing him growl your name in that sexy voice of his made you want to sob.

You were good enough.

As if the ordeal was a battle to be won, he sat up and grabbed you like a toy. The move was a surprise, but this didn't mean that you were about to resist.

He placed you into a position on the floor that you were used to. It had been perfected in elevators, coupes and California king beds. Your legs were spread, revealing yourself entirely to him. He had full access now and you prepared yourself for the sensation of the two of you melding into one.

He moved himself and straddled you accordingly like the vids had instructed. With a delicate talon, he swiped the hair out of your face and gave you yet another quick kiss.

"This is your night, Shepard." he murmured. The sounds of his voice reverberating everywhere around you made your uncontrollable smile get even bigger. Before he could sneak his talon away, you gripped it with your hand and squeezed with a tight grip.

"Aren't you a gentleman?" you replied, your voice shaking. Sensing your impending nerves, he toned down the instincts and stayed static.

"You're ready, aren't you?"

You let go of him and made sure your legs were locked in place. Positioning was a big deal between the two of you. One wrong move had the potential to end in scarring for both of you.

A firm nod was enough for him to proceed further. With his dark cock pressing against you, you trembled at his will.

"Tell me you're ready!"

His voice commanded dominance, which made the lack of total intimate contact even worse than it had been before.

You opened your mouth to speak, causing him to push against you further. You could feel him slipping into your entrance, but it wasn't enough for either of you.

"Just fuck me, Vakarian!" you yelled. Your voice had turned almost as dictating as his. "Don't make me wait another year! I love you, god damn it all! Please, just fuck me!"

He followed your command just like he always had before. As he entered you fully, small squeaks of pain slowed down his eagerness. The two of you had been too impulsive and had forgotten about the dangers of inter-species contact. It took readjusting, but that didn't matter.

Nothing else mattered.

Your name was Liz Shepard and you were finally getting what you wanted for the first time in years. You had found your one bit of comfort in the galaxy. Although it got more complicated as it went on, the thing that you had with Garrus Vakarian wasn't something that you could throw away.

This thing wasn't something that you could contain. It was too beautiful for that.

You didn't want to understand it. You wanted to live it until the day you died.

You just hoped that he would be okay with that, too.

hi i'm thr and i can't write sex scenes

ok bye