I do not own Chaotic nor anything related to it. It belongs to TCDigital.
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The Memories of Passing
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Last time we went to Mount Pillar, Phelphor was riding in the lap of luxury. Figuratively speaking, at least. Now, as we approach Mount Pillar, Phelphor is riding in chains.
I long ago retrieved my cape from the wagon. It's a symbol of what I've done for the Danians, so it's best I wear it now.
The outer walls of the wagon the M'arrillian is in have been removed, leaving only a frame that he's still chained to. It's... uncomfortable to see him kneeling there, actually. Still, we're doing it for the Danians. They want Phelphor paraded naked through their roads, helpless and humiliated.
...There isn't going to be a trial, I think to myself. Not that there needs to be, Phelphor's guilty as hell. Still, the closer we get to the gates, the more anxious I become. Isn't this a monstrous thing to do too? Shouldn't we be civil about this?
"You look troubled," Theb-sarr says as the gates open in front of us.
"I am troubled," I say. "I can't shake the feeling that we're stooping to the M'arrillians' level."
Theb-sarr can't meet my gaze. "It's barbaric, true. Still, can you say without hesitating that he doesn't deserve it?"
"Good point..." I mutter.
We cross the threshold, and now we are riding into Mount Pillar proper.
Danians bow as we pass. They bow to me. It's still bizarre.
I force myself not to glance backwards, not to look at Phelphor. My imagination is filling in the blanks, though, the M'arrillian either glancing around in terror or fruitlessly trying not to let anyone see him.
Soon we're surrounded by Danians, some to thank me, others to jeer at our captive. Mandiblors and nobles, warriors and muges, controllers and everyone else. Some reach out to touch me, and eventually I become so numb to it that they stop triggering my darker memories.
"Smile," Theb'sarr whispers.
I stare at him and point at my helmet. "They can't see my face," I mutter.
"Your eyes," Theb-sarr says. "Smile with your eyes."
I force a grin on my face.
"Never mind," Theb-sarr says quickly, "go back to what you were doing before. At least wave, though. You're a symbol of hope and justice to the Danian people, so act like it."
It's a ton easier to "just smile and wave" when you feel like you deserve it. Right now, I'm finding it rather difficult.
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The highest of the nobles are gathered in Queen Illexia's throne room, all wearing identity concealing cloaks besides the queen herself. The only two non-Danians here are Phelphor and myself, Phelphor as the criminal having a sentence placed on him, and myself as an honored guest. The closest thing to a trial that Phelphor will be receiving is about to begin.
"Phelphor," says Illexia in a firm voice. Similar to the queen of an ant colony, she's massive. Her upper body is about the size of an ordinary creature, but behind her is a body that fills most of the room. I can't even see behind her, so for all I know she's laying eggs as she speaks.
Phelphor, trussed up in chains and forced to kneel, stares at the ground. "Your Majesty..." he says quietly. He looks pitiful, but nobody's offering him any pity.
"Eleven solans ago, you murdered a young mandiblor named Piabo." I can almost feel the acid in her voice. "How do you answer?"
I can see Phelphor's eyes harden from the angle I'm sitting at. "You say I killed him?"
...Really? I can already tell where Phelphor is trying to go with this.
There are hisses from the nobles. Illexia narrows her eyes. "Explain."
Phelphor continues to stare at the ground. "You see a Danian dead, and you immediately assume that I am the killer. This Human here, though, what makes you think he isn't responsible?"
Exactly what I thought he was pulling.
Illexia sighs. "And pray tell me your logic?"
Phelphor looks up. "This mandiblor and I get separated. Prince Osiris stumbles on the mandiblor, and he thinks, 'say, I could pin his death on the M'arrillian, and then the Danians will love me,' so he kills him and makes it look like he gave a s*** about it-"
"Piabo told us otherwise," Illexia says.
Phelphor's face goes from a careful neutral expression to one of complete bafflement. "What?"
Illexia folds her arms. "We have ways of communicating with our dead."
Now Phelphor's face goes from bafflement to terror.
"And just so everyone involved with passing judgment is informed," Illexia adds, "shall we have him speak to us again?"
Many nobles nod, and a curtain opens to reveal- Oh dear God, that's Piabo. His body, anyway, inside a glass casket, preserved and laid out as if he was sleeping. There's even the same blanket and pillow that I had left for him.
A team of cloaked Danians pushes the casket into the room, then all but one leaves. The one that remained behind raises a hand, which starts to glow. "Child of the hive," he says, "return one last time, that you might tell us your last tale."
I expect a dramatic display of power. Light dimming, lightning cracking, ghostly fires. Calling spirits seems like it should look as powerful as it really is. It's not dramatic, though, at least not in the way I'd been thinking.
A solid green Danian appears in front of all of us, as if he'd simply walked into the room. Phelphor cries out in shock, and I jolt in my seat. Then I recognize the figure's shape. It's Piabo's spirit.
"Piabo," Illexia says, "will you show us your last hours one last time? This will be the last time we will disturb your rest."
Piabo's spirit closes its eyes-
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My twenty-sixth solan started today. It's not that important of a milestone, but still, it's another solan. After my duties guarding the Doors I'll be twenty-seven.
The Humans would call me a teen now, if I was still at Mount Pillar. Thirteen years old, whatever a year is. Maybe it's two solans. But yeah, thirteen, so I guess that's where the word teen came from.
"Hurry up!" Phelphor says. "Or at least give me the map!"
Oops, I'm thinking too much again. I pick up the pace.
It's so odd, having all this room in my head. Normally I can feel the buzz of the hive, but now it's silent. I'm so far away from everyone else. I'll be able to hear a strengthened hive call, no doubt, but everyone's surface thoughts are too far away to hear anymore. Well, Phelphor's close enough, but he's not a real Danian, so I can't feel his thoughts.
"How far is Jade Pillar?" Phelphor asks.
I take the map from my pouch and unfold it. "Just a couple hours' walk away."
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I'm preparing the fire, while Phelphor's setting up the tent. He's got his armor off, so I've got quite a nice view of his body.
I wonder if he'd be interested. Then again, Lady Sarah would probably mind. Humans tend to get weird about sex, with those things they call monogamy and heterosexuality. They're not Danians, though, so I guess it's okay for them to think that way. Most everyone in Perim thinks that way besides us Danians.
Maybe in the morning we can ride on the mowercycle I saw earlier. Then again, there's only room for one rider. Best I don't mention it.
This flint and steel isn't cooperating. I wish I could create flames in my hand, that would get this fire started quickly. I strike harder, and finally the kindling begins to burn. I add some fuel to the fire-
{DO not LET phelphor REACH the DOORS}
I blink. A hive call. Phelphor? Don't question, just obey. The map, it will burn, I just need to take it out without Phelphor noticing-
I feel a sharp pain in my stomach.
Phelphor is standing over me. He's holding a strange knife, covered in blood. My blood. He looks at the knife, then at me. He grins. "Well, looks like I can stop pretending," he says. He raises his right arm up-
Ancestors help me! He just cut my stomach open! I can see him pull my exoskeleton apart! He's stabbing my insides!
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He's covered me with the tent. Just carved me up and left me here to die...
Minutes pass... or is it hours...? I can't tell...
I hear a clang of metal. I try to raise my body up, but I hurt too much...
The tent fabric jostles, then is pulled away. A black figure stands above me. It's holding a knife or a dagger.
I feel my breath catch in my throat. Is this that Grim Reaper that Humans talk about?
The figure sets aside the weapon in its hand and pulls off its helmet. A Human man, not the Grim Reaper. His face is twisted with shock and concern. "What happened?" he asks.
"Ph-Phelphor..." I answer in a high voice, "h-he..." It hurts so much...
"No, stop talking," he says. His eyes drift to where I'm holding my stomach together. "Let me see your injury."
I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath before slowly letting go. I hear the Human gasp. I open my eyes. The Human is staring at my wound in shock. I wonder how bad it looks.
I can't stand it. "A-am I... gonna die...?" My voice is so weak...
"Yes..." the Human says. There's so much pain in his eyes when he says it.
I can feel tears forming. "I-I don't want to die!" Stupid, weak mandiblor, saying a thing like that...
The Human moves so he's over my head. He softly mutters, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."
I look at his face. "I-I know you... You're Osiris... the prince from Al.. from Al Mipedim..." It's so hard to say those words.
He nods. I force my hand up to my chest. Even the dying must show respect to royalty. "I-I am Piabo..."
"Hello, Piabo," Prince Osiris says quietly.
I close my eyes. It's so hard to keep them open. "I-it was supposed to... to be my first assignment... spend a solan g-guarding the Doors..."
Osiris raises one of those eyebrows. "Your first assignment? How old are you?"
"T-twenty-six," I say. "T-today is the f-first day of my... my twenty-sixth solan..." The first day and the last...
"You're so young." He slowly shakes his head. "Why send you out so young?"
I have to laugh at that. "H-humans always ask that... I'm a m-mandiblor... F-from b-birth to death we serve..." To death... "B-but I don't wanna die..."
Osiris looks down. "Nobody ever does."
I-I'm too weak. I beg, "H-hold me..."
It hurts a little when he lifts me up and puts me on his lap. He puts my head in his arm, and I slowly reach up to grab his hand.
I unthinkingly ask, "D-do you wonder what it's like to die?" It's a stupid question, I shouldn't have- Wait... that look in Osiris's eyes... "...Did... Did you die once?"
Prince Osiris nods. He nods.
"Wh-what does dying feel like?" I ask. I'm about to find out, but...
I feel his squeeze my hand. "The pain goes away slowly. You can feel it, but it just doesn't matter anymore, it's just there the same way you feel the clothes on your body or your feet on the ground." He wipes tears from his eyes.
When he finishes, he continues, "Your mind becomes very clear for a while, everything in sharp focus, and then everything starts to go... soft. The edges start to blur together in your vision, sounds face, and soon you feel like you're floating."
His eyes seem as if they're looking far away now. "Thinking becomes hard, and eventually you just want to relax. You let go of everything, and the world just drifts away..."
"It sounds... very calm..." I gasp. I can feel tears streaming down my face.
There's pain in Osiris's face again. "Do... do you want me to help you die?"
"No... No... just let me go quietly..." I have to be strong...
Osiris is sobbing. I can see tears fall from his eyes.
And suddenly my mind is clear. I feel a terror in my heart. This is not a fear of death. I can feel my hand holding Osiris's tightly. "He's going to open the Doors." Phelphor, I know that's his goal, I just know it.
Osiris quietly says, "I'm going to stop him."
Phelphor has too much of a lead. Unless... "Mowercycle. Inside the wrecked shack. Saw it while collecting wood for the fire."
Osiris looks around, then pauses when he looks in the direction that I know the shack is in.
My hand feels numb. It falls to my chest. "Stop him..." I whisper.
"I will," Osiris says.
I can feel my weakness returning. I stare at the ceiling of the Underworld. "I don't wanna die... I don't wanna... I... I..."
I'm so numb... I can't feel anything touching my exoskeleton. The pain is fading...
Osiris looks furious, his face is wrinkled and his teeth are bared. "Phelphor will pay," he whispers.
I focus on his face. It's so hard to do that now... "Thank you... Osiris..." I whipser.
Osiris chokes up. "My real name, the one I was born with, is Michael." Tears run down his face again.
He told me his real name... I try to smile, but I can't... I feel my eyes close, and I force them open to look at Osiris- at Michael- one last time. "Well... then thank... thank you... Michael..." I whisper.
I don't even know if he can hear me. No, the look on his face tells me he did. I take the deepest breath I can manage, then whisper, "...Goodbye..."
My vision slowly fades... Michael's sobs eventually disappear... The ground has vanished... So has Michael's lap... No, I just can't feel them any more...
May your ancestors... guide you Michael... Prince of... Al Mipedim... May you... never... die again...
It's so hard to think... and really... it doesn't... matter... anymore... I just... need to... let go...
...Always... happy... to serve...
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The memory fades. I feel tears in my eyes. I look around. There are tears in everyone's eyes. Everyone but Phelphor. He looks about ready to go into shock as he stares at the green figure of Piabo's spirit.
Illexia's voice sounds strong, even through her tears. "Phelphor, I sentence you to death, to be carried out at midnight in the Grand Hall, for the murder of the mandiblor Piabo."
Illexia says more after that, but I don't hear it. Piabo's spirit is looking at me. I stare as it walks up to me.
Piabo opens his mouth and reaches inside with two fingers. He takes something out and holds to towards me. I hold out my left hand, and he drops it in.
It's a seven-palm coin.
Piabo's spirit smiles, then vanishes.
I clench my hand around the coin and sob.
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Up next: The Executioner
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Like I said before, Chaotic belongs to TCDigital.
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