Author's note: I changed my Pen Name (used to be braveselflesshonestkind) because it was too Divergent specific. I got into this fanfiction stuff through Divergent, but don't want to limit myself to only this one story, so I thought something more general would be more appropriate. And I don't really know if I'm brave, selfless, honest and kind. :)

And here's another chapter! Thanks for reading, I hope you're enjoying it!

Chapter Fourteen:

TRIS POV:

After Caleb leaves I get up and pace the room. I was exhausted before, but now I feel restless. How can so much happen in one day? I glance at the clock. Half a day! I try to clear my mind and think of the conversation with Caleb. I have no idea where it all came from, but I'm glad I said those things to him. It hasn't felt right between us since he chose to join Erudite and now I'm beginning to understand why. What I said was true – I do forgive him. When I look deep inside myself, I can't find any anger or hurt towards him. But he has been denying his actions repeatedly this entire time. And our relationship can't be based on my silent acceptance of a lie. So I'm glad I confronted him. I have no idea where this will lead, but at least whatever future we may still have won't be one built on a foundation of lies or omissions.

The wind blows in a sudden strong gust outside, causing a faint howling sound. It reminds me of the trains back in Chicago. I walk to the window and open it, letting the cold air rush inside. Autumn is ending, the last leaves clinging stubbornly to the trees. Soon a white blanket of snow will cover the land as far as the eye can see and that perfect calm I associate with winter and life in Abnegation will settle in. I look forward to it.

I sit down on my bed and look outside, letting the cold air calm my thoughts.

This is where Tobias finds me. I knew he would come. I hear his footsteps approaching, then slowing down. A gentle knock on the doorframe because my door is still partly open from when Caleb left.

"Come in," I say without turning around. I relish the quiet calm of the cold day and want to hold onto it as long as I can before having to return to the problems of this world.

Tobias comes in slowly. I don't see him, but I imagine he is taking in the situation, trying to analyze what state he will find me in. Not even I know that right now. Finally he walks over to me and stands hesitantly next to my bed. I can see him out of the corner of my eye but enjoy three more deep breaths of fresh air before turning to him at last. There is worry and guilt in those eyes that I love so much.

"Tris…" He looks at the open window. "Aren't you cold?" I get up and close the window, then sit back down again.

"It was just open for a few minutes, Tobias. I needed some fresh air."

He nods understandingly. My eyes glide over him appraisingly. He looks good. Healthy. I can tell he just took a shower and there's the tiniest blush visible under his tan cheeks, as if he had been exerting himself recently. Which he may well have been at the greenhouses. His gray sweater is tight over his broad back and chest and part of me just wants to cover his mouth with my own and lose myself in him forever. But I can't do that. We can't do that. Problems aren't solved that way.

So instead I say, "Have a seat." I don't point at any seat in particular, so he can feel free to choose. He chooses the chair at the foot of my bed for which I'm glad. I think my resolve might shatter if he sat too close to me right now.

We look at each other for a while. I think we're both hesitant to start this conversation because it may lead us into murky waters and we feel safe here in the clear shallows. But finally Tobias is brave enough to start.

"Tris, I'm sorry…" I don't say anything. What is he sorry for? Leaving? He didn't walk out on me but on his sister, so why apologize to me? He clears his throat. "I'm sorry I acted like such a coward." Warm love spreads through my chest in waves. This is what I love about him, the capacity to understand a situation and to face the truth head-on. I incline my head as if to say that I accept his apology. He understands.

"What now?" I ask. Tobias shrugs. We both don't know.

"How'd it go after I left?" he asks. I tell him about the conversation with Evelyn outside. I try to remember every detail of what she told me because this is all really important information to Tobias. He seems amazed and frustrated with what he learns, but he mostly remains quiet and listens. When I reach the end of the conversation, he arches an eyebrow at me.

"So Evelyn came so you could convince Tin to like you?"

I shake my head in dismay. "I know, it's crazy. Possibly even ironic."

"So did you?" he asks.

"Did I convince Tin that I'm not her enemy?" He nods. I sigh. "I don't know. That sister of yours is pretty tough." And then I tell him as well as I can how the conversation with Tin went. Again he doesn't say anything and just listens until I finish.

"It doesn't seem fair that you have to go through so much trouble because of what other people do." I chew my lip as I think of this. Other people. Who is to blame for Tin hating me? Her father for abandoning her and Evelyn and making her fearful of loss in the first place? Evelyn for not liking me and saying those things about to her? Tobias for walking out and making her even more insecure? Maybe even Marcus for being such a terrible father and husband and person. I don't know. What does it matter?

"No, it doesn't, but I do want her to like me, so I have to do something about it. I have to try." I respond.

"And you did," he says. "And you will." I nod. It's as simple as that.

"So what now, Tobias?" I ask again. Because it's not fair that he had no chance to prepare for this and he had an awful father who filled his life with violence and anger, but the fact is that Tin is here to stay and so he has to do something about it, too.

He looks away from me now. "Tris, what if… what if I'm like Marcus? What if I let her close and then lose my temper… and hurt her?"

This reminds me of when I admitted to him my fear of the darkness of the coma. And it reminds me of being in his fear landscape with him. I have to help him be strong, but I won't coddle him. He is too strong for that.

"You're not like Marcus," I say firmly. "I've been with you nearly every day for over four months and I have seen nothing about you to convince me otherwise."

We fall silent. I know it's not enough, but at least he is thinking about what I said. "Tobias, your sister loves you. She needs you. And I think you need her, too."

At this he looks at me sharply in surprise. "What?"

I shrug. "You two would do each other good." He just sinks into himself again and seems to think about this.

After a while I say, "In any case, while I may not have convinced her completely that I'm not her enemy, I think I convinced her that you would like to get to know her." Tobias's eyes fill with despair again and I begin to lose my patience. "Tobias, she is mad about you!" I say sharply. "She's ten! All she's known is loss, you cannot push her away from you."

I'm upset with myself for losing my temper and being so moralizing towards him again – but how can I help him see? I feel like all I do now is point things out to people. Gladly Tobias doesn't get angry at my tone, he just continues lost in thought. Finally he says, "I know, Tris. I'll do something about it, ok? I just need some time to think."

I nod. If he says he will, he will. I reach out slowly and take his hand in mine. "I'm here, Tobias. I'm always here." He looks into my eyes and I think I see gratitude mixed in with his fear. He squeezes my hand.

Thoughts of Caleb run through my mind and I find myself telling Tobias about our conversation. By the end of it I'm crying and he sits next to me on the bed and places his arm around my shoulder. For a long time we sit that way – me crying and Tobias comforting me. Though I think I'm comforting him too somehow. I wonder how our lives got so complicated. Wasn't leaving supposed to end all this?

My tears subside eventually and I ask Tobias about his day. He tells me about the work at the greenhouses. I wish I could see him working there because the idea of him working on a farm still seems so out of place to me. It sounds like he enjoyed it, though; he will continue going there for the rest of this week.

There's a knock on my door. It's Zeke and Shauna. They come in and Zeke takes one of the empty chairs with a joke about how they never need to find a chair for Shauna. She punches him, but she's smiling too. We spend the next three hours together talking and laughing. Shauna is still a bit shy around us because she made such a big deal about us being Divergent before, but slowly she unravels into the funny, care-free girl she is. They tell us about their jobs and the ungodly hour they have to get up at because both are working early shifts now. We make jokes about the people at the compound, about how they talk about things we've never heard of as if we should know about them and how they pretend to not know everything about our lives from the screens. Everyone is impressed that Ivana actually never watched the footage of the city and we wonder if there are others that chose not to, like her. We also share our favorite discoveries from this world outside the city – Zeke and Shauna can't decide whether they like tablets or motorcycles more, Tobias thinks the little golf cart is very amusing and I, of course, love the plane. Just the idea of air travel thrills me. We place bets on whether we will get Tobias to fly in one – to his dismay. And we all agree on one thing: we miss Dauntless cake.

Towards the early evening we get into a long conversation about money. There was no money in the city, just credits and they worked differently than money does somehow. Matthew has been talking to all of us about this – apparently he thinks it's very important we understand – but we all haven't quite grasped the concept. Up until now, the compound has been taking care of us. But now that everyone is starting to work, they will receive money for the work and with this money they will have to buy all the things they need and pay other people for any services they might need from them. There is even a monthly fee for being able to live in a room at the hotel! In the city every person or family was just assigned a living space according to faction custom. We don't really know what to make of this.

At six thirty a nurse brings me my dinner. Zeke and Shauna decide they'll go get dinner also and say good-bye to us and leave. I watch them go with a feeling of joy and sadness.

"That was a nice afternoon," I say absently as I pick up my fork. "Uriah would have enjoyed it, too."

Tobias nods. I know he was thinking the same thing. He smooths my hair with his hand. "I wonder when they're going to turn off the machines." We both don't know.

I eat and offer some to Tobias, but he doesn't accept. He says he'll get some food later. The cafeteria offers meals at certain times, but there are machines with sandwiches and other kinds of food in them that function all the time. He says Zoe gave him some money for the next few weeks until he starts working, so he should be able to buy something.

"Maybe you should be careful with your money, though." I say in between bites. "What if it runs out?"

Tobias scratches his head. "I don't know. Maybe Zoe can give me more?"

By the time I'm done the nurse comes to get my tray. Tobias gets up and stands by the window.

"I worry about us sometimes," he says. A tiny bubble of panic bursts in my chest. About us? He must see it because he quickly adds, "I mean, us, the people from Chicago. Out here."

I exhale. "Yeah, I do, too." I reply.

"We aren't prepared for this world. The younger people will be able to adjust eventually, but what about the older ones? Who have only known one thing their entire life? What happens when the experiment falls apart? Will Chicago also have things like planes and… money?" He says the last word like it disgusts him. "I think it's time we called that meeting."

I can only agree with him. He tells me that the last he heard there were 64 people from the city at the compound. We talk about how we would invite them all, where it could take place, how we could organize it. I'll ask at the hospital for a room large enough and will get Zeke, Cara, Matthew, Christina and Caleb (if he's still willing to talk to me) to help me gather enough chairs and set things up. Tobias will invite everyone. We choose a day a week from now in the evening.

Once it seems everything is taken care of, there's just one question left. "How will the meeting itself be run?" Tobias asks.

"I think you should lead the conversation." I reply immediately. He sighs but doesn't argue.

"Even so, what will we talk about? Over sixty people, we can't all just talk at once."

We fall silent again thinking. "Well…" I start slowly. "We still have a week, right? Why don't you try to talk to everyone, as you're inviting them, about what they think is important. And then we can sit down together with a few people and make a plan the night before the meeting and take what everyone said into consideration."

Tobias immediately agrees, though I can see he doesn't like the idea of having to talk to so many people. "I think I might need help."

"So get some help. Maybe Zeke can join you and Evelyn and… well, anyone really." Tobias nods.

I feel excited. We're finally doing something instead of just sitting here watching our hometown destroy itself.