Heh, did I ever mention that I'm not the most reliable when it comes to updates? Yes? Oh, well, even so I feel compelled to remind you that I'm not reliable when it comes to updates. XD However, I do take pride in finishing what I started. If it takes me ten years to finish this, so be it. Finally, I'd like to thank GypsyGirl098 for encouraging me and helping to give me that extra little push to finish this chapter. :)
Just a small side note: For the purposes of this one-shot, Anti-Cosmo's fangs are slightly curled, like they are in most episodes he appears in (which are far, far too few for my liking. Hmph).
Disclaimer: The authoress of this fanfiction does not own, nor will she ever own The Fairly OddParents. She does not understand the reasoning behind your wanting to sue her for it, and she finds this whole 'writing a funny/witty disclaimer' thing abhorrent. She now says goodbye and wishes you a good day, sir.
(Oh, and ever since I saw Sheldon from BBT use the word brobdingnagian, I've wanted to write something with it. It's a funny word, brobdingnagian, ain't it?)
12. Tangled (Prompt 079)
Embarrassing. Awkward. A mess of brobdingnagian proportions. He doesn't know which is the best way to describe his current situation. Oh, why could he not have been born with ordinary teeth? Or at least less-curved canines?
They (which included himself, Anti-Wanda, Anti-Blonda, Anti-Melody, Anti-Juandissimo, Anti-Lola, and Anti-Luther) had somehow ended up playing the infamous 'spin the wand'—known as spin the bottle on Earth—and it had been Anti-Wanda's spin. How she and her sister even ended up hanging out with him and his group he had no idea, but Anti-Cosmo didn't find it worthwhile to kick them out.
So anyway, it had been Anti-Wanda's spin. She spun the wand, and as it twirled Anti-Cosmo wondered who it would land on. So far, it had landed on him, him again, Anti-Lola, him, and Anti-Lola.
He had recently made an educated guess and suspected the wand was bewitched. It was Anti-Lola's wand after all, and everyone knew she had a ginormous, life-consuming crush on him.
He internally sighed as the wand settled, the black star tip pointing straight at him. What a surprise, he thought sarcastically.
With a small smirk that plainly said "I dare you", he stared steadily at the anti-fairy across from him.
Anti-Wanda crawled forward slightly, and Anti-Cosmo made a mock-pucker. With a roll of her rose-coloured eyes, she leaned in and gave him a soft kiss.
Unfortunately for both of them, their mouths were slightly open, and somehow, their teeth tangled together in a mess of fangs and crooked pearly whites.
Anti-Cosmo sighs heavily as he tries to pull back and fails again, causing Anti-Wanda to be jerked forward.
Anti-Lola breaks the awkward silence that has fallen between the group. "Uh, guys? We're playing spin the wand, not seven minutes in heaven."
Anti-Cosmo rolls his eyes. "This is going to sound completely ridiculous, but I believe that we are stuck." When he moves his lips to speak, they brush against Anti-Wanda's, leaving a light tingle where they come in contact.
Immediately, Anti-Luther lets out a loud snort, which is quickly silenced when everyone (mainly Anti-Cosmo) looks at him. "What?"
"Okay . . . so how do we untangle them?" Anti-Melody asks, eyeing the fuming Anti-Lola beside her warily, trying to make sure she doesn't lunge for Anti-Wanda and tear her limb from limb.
The silence from the rest of the group is nearly deafening.
"Don't all speak at once," Anti-Cosmo mutters dryly.
Anti-Lola suddenly perks up, seeming to have an idea. "What if we use my magical detangler? It is for hair, but I'm sure it would work on teeth. Oh, but we'd need another bottle; mine's almost out."
She grabs Anti-Melody's arm, and anti-poofs the two of them to her home.
Anti-Luther, Anti-Blonda, and Anti-Juandissimo all exchange questioning glances, and then simultaneously raise their dark wands and anti-poof to the local store, leaving the two others alone.
Anti-Cosmo doesn't understand why all of then have to go get another bottle, instead of letting Anti-Lola and Anti-Melody go get it. It would certainly make this situation a lot less awkward.
He and Anti-Wanda are still stuck together, each trying their best not to glance into the other's eyes. Anti-Cosmo softly clears his throat, trying in vain to alleviate some of the awkwardness.
"So," Anti-Cosmo starts, lips brushing hers as his mouth moves to form the word. "Uh, this is odd."
Anti-Wanda starts to nod, but stops when she realises that in addition to moving her own head, she is also moving Anti-Cosmo's.
"Sorry!" She winces guiltily.
They're both silent for a few moments' time, hoping that someone, anyone, will come back with a bottle of magical detangler.
"What is taking them so long?" Anti-Cosmo mutters, half to himself, trying to control the urge to zap something in frustration. It really isn't as easy as one might think.
Anti-Wanda can't exactly bite her lip, so she settles for fidgeting. Oh, why couldn't she have been born with normal teeth?
"Anti-Lola's gonna be gettin' so mad at me," Anti-Wanda sighs, and Anti-Cosmo is relieved to find that she actually had eaten a mint before all of . . . this.
The teenage boy shifts uncomfortably. "It's not your fault; her wand is bewitched."
Both anti-fairies can't help but notice the amount of lip movement that one sentence takes. Suddenly, Anti-Cosmo is overcome with a strangely primitive urge to ignore his common sense just this once and kiss the girl he's conveniently stuck to.
Before he even knows what he's doing, his lips are moving against hers again, but this time they do so without making words.
Anti-Wanda is just as shocked as he is, but she internally grins and kisses back gently.
Their lips mash together in a symphony of raspberry lip chap, desire, and a hint of tea. Ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him that the others will be back any second now, Anti-Cosmo pulls Anti-Wanda into his lap and presses a steady hand to her back.
Their kisses grow deeper, more urgent, and when Anti-Cosmo's tongue begins to hesitantly explore Anti-Wanda's mouth, she lets her own tongue tangle with his in a fascinating dance.
Anti-Wanda moves her hands up from her sides and gently squeezes the neatly pressed jacket covering his shoulders, her fingers tightening against the soft material as the kiss continues to become more and more passionate. After a few more blissful moments, Anti-Wanda pulls away to take a much-needed breath, but is surprised to find that Anti-Cosmo's lips are still locked with hers.
Oh yes, their teeth. They're still stuck.
Anti-Wanda's cheeks darken considerably, the heat radiating off in waves. She can feel Anti-Cosmo inhale, presumably to speak, but she cuts him off by reinstating the kiss.
For the second time, Anti-Cosmo's mind is on hyperdrive, his senses overwhelmed by all of the different tastes, scents, and emotions that are charging the air with an undeniably intense electricity. Continuing to act on pure instinct, he hugs her closer with one hand, and the other comes up to entwine itself in her hair.
Anti-Wanda makes a soft, pleased sound in the back of her throat, and moves her hands once again, this time to grip his jacket tightly.
Without warning, Anti-Blonda, Anti-Juandissimo, and Anti-Luther all anti-poof back into the room, putting an abrupt stop to the couple's impromptu makeout session.
Anti-Juandissimo makes a sound halfway between a snort of derisiveness and an overly dramatic gasp, causing the two to break apart—or what passes for it when their teeth are tangled together.
Anti-Blonda clears her throat and shifts uncomfortably on her toes. "Uh, we found another bottle," she says, holding up the plastic container and smiling weakly.
With a dark cloud, Anti-Lola and Anti-Melody anti-poof in, and before anyone can comment on the situation, and without a second glance at embarrassed twosome, Anti-Lola flutters over and gives two quick sprays with the bottle in her hand.
Anti-Cosmo tugs backwards, but Anti-Wanda is still attached and is pulled forward with a jerk, almost knocking Anti-Cosmo over. Both anti-fairies feel their cheeks heat considerably, and try to conceal it as best they can.
Anti-Lola frowns and tries again, this time spraying the detangler several times.
With one final tug, Anti-Cosmo's fangs come free, and Anti-Wanda finds herself able to take that deep breath she's been needing.
Not that she has anything against being stuck to Anti-Cosmo.
After a few more moments of awkward silence, Anti-Lola speaks and says that they should continue the game. The rest of the anti-fairies agree—though some only begrudgingly—and the group resumes their game.
Every so often, Anti-Wanda steals a glance at Anti-Cosmo. The young genius seems completely nonchalant, unlike Anti-Wanda whose heartbeat is still thrumming in her ears, whose thoughts keep on flickering back to a few minutes ago, and who feels an irrational wave of anger because Anti-Cosmo doesn't seem to be affected at all.
Oh, how little she knows about him. If he had telepathy, he surely would be laughing.
Anti-Cosmo is not the least bit focused on the game, no, his thoughts are wandering through his most recent memories, trying to pinpoint what in the name of Britain could've made him kiss her.
It is odd that he should let his more primitive urges control him; he has always found it simple to ignore them. All of a sudden, a highly undesirable thought flickers in the back of his brilliant mind.
Oh crumpets, is he attracted to her? Oh no. Oh, no. This is not good, not good at all.
How can that even be possible? As anti-fairies, they are the complete opposite of fairies, who love and care for each other. Anti-fairies don't love: they are incapable of it. It cannot be allurement if anti-fairies are unable to love.
If it isn't attraction, what is it? What could possibly make him delirious enough to kiss her without any provocation?
The question bothers him throughout the remainder of the game, and even after, when he is lying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling with a glare of complete contempt. The resident genius of Anti-Fairy World thinks, but cannot come up with a viable answer. So he does what anyone else in his position would do: he researches it using the many archives in the basement of the library.
As expected, there is not much on behavioural intentions. Most of the documents concern themselves with personal opinions on best way to break a mother's back, or whether spilled salt is better than a broken mirror (which it is, obviously). After a few hours of searching without reward, Anti-Cosmo gives up.
It isn't like the answer would majorly impact his life in any way, anyway. It may stick at the back of his mind like a stubborn cobweb, but it won't bother him.
Okay, maybe it will bother him a little. Maybe. Maybe he might venture to her house, knock on the door, and ask her a question. Perhaps she will reply to his question, and possibly he will smile, and maybe, just maybe, it can be the beginning of a simply marvellous era.
Probably not, though.
1927 words, and I think I liked the way that turned out. I do hope it was satisfactory. XD For the record, that prompt is awesome.
To let you all know, I won't be able to update at all from December 26th-January 2nd, because I will be in Cuba, attempting to resurrect my tan.
Also, I'm planning on writing another one-shot involving Anti-Wanda singing, and I need a song for it. And gosh, is it tough to find a song. If anybody has any ideas, I'd really appreciate you dropping off a review and telling me. Thanks in advance!
In closing, I'd like to wish you all a happy holiday, and if I don't update tomorrow or Christmas, a splendid New Year! :D