Hello again! It's me, the author of "Perry the Platypus VS The Wet Bandits". It's now time for chapter 3. The best moment of any "Home Alone" film or fan story…the booby traps. Here we go…
Perry went up to the TV set and opened up a wooden cabinet. He took out a VHS tape labeled, "Angles with Filthy Souls". It was an old black-and-white R-rated gangster film that Linda and Lawrence watched a lot after the boys and Candace went to sleep for the night. Perry switched on the TV set, and inserted the VHS tape inside the player. Then he picked up the remote and got ready for action…
Back outside, Harry and Marv climbed over the backward fence and walked up to the sliding backyard door. The blinds on the inside were now covering it. "On the count of 3…" instructed Harry, "We'll smash the glass door open!" Marv raised his crowbars as Harry counted… "1-2-3! SMASH!" Marv swung at the glass as well as Harry too. But before the crowbars could even touch the glass…
"WHO IS IT?" a called out a voice from inside! Harry and Marv froze in they're tracks. "Marv…don't make a sound!" whispered Harry.
"It's the Wet Bandits!" yelled Marv, ignoring Harry's instructions.
"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" yelled the voice again!"
Harry gave Marv a look as if to say, "Why didn't you do what I say?" Marv shrugged as if to say, "Sorry…oops!"
"I'm going to give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yellow, no good keyster off my property! Before I pump your guts full of lead!" yelled the voice from inside! Harry and Marv began to back away…
"ONE-TWO-TEN!" that's when a whole roaring range of gunfire suddenly erupted from inside the house, along with the voice laughing like a maniac! Harry and Marv fell backward onto a rose bush, causing some thorns to pierce their backs! Back inside, Perry quickly switched off the TV set and ran upstairs back to the boy's bedroom. Phineas had put the diamond on the dining room table before he grabbed his spare house key from his room.
"Wait a minute…" said Harry getting up, "That was just a movie scene!" "What?" asked Marv, yanking himself up from the bush, "You mean…" began Marv, "I heard it before Marv." said Harry, "I watched it last week while you were asleep at the drive-in theater! It was a scene from the movie Angles with Filthy Souls!" "So…no one is home?" asked Marv. "Right! No one's home!" said Harry smiling with delight, "Let's get that diamond!"
Harry ran up to the glass door, and "CRACK! BAM!" smashed it open! Glass pieces flew everywhere! But then, "CLINK! CLANK!" a series of steel bars covered up the open doorway. The bars were secretly installed by the O.W.C.A headquarters in case of a robbery. Harry ended up dropping his crowbar in the living room, and he and Marv were still outside. "METAL BARS?! That's it!" said Harry, now determined to get inside, "Marv, you go down through the basement, and I'll go in through the front door! Perry heard the noise, and he quickly set up a ton of booby traps at a supernatural fast pace.
Some would be triggered by the robbers themselves, and some would require Perry to trigger them. Using, spray butter; he quickly buttered up half of the stairs from the top to the middle. He placed a bunch of Christmas ornaments in front of a small window in the living room. In the basement, he placed some tar on the steps, and even stuck on a sharp nail sticking up too! Then he poured some liquid laundry fabric softener onto the floor by a shelf of used paint pans.
He also put a punching bag mechanism in the coat closet in the upstairs hallway. To activate it, he tied some string to the door knob on the inside, so when someone opened the door, they would be in for a painful surprise! Inside, he also placed a little sensor attached to Candace's tape-recording doll. He also placed Ferb's skateboard in the kitchen doorway. Under the sink, he connected a car battery to the pipes with 2 grabbling wires. Then he tightly strung up some Christmas lights by the stairs to the attic. He even found a spider web with a live spider on it! He also got a can of black-spray paint from the garage.
Also, in Candace's bedroom, Perry placed some plastic wrap with wet glue on the inner side of the doorway, like a sticky spider web. Inside her room, he set up a fan and a pile of feathers in front of the fan. As well as Candace's plush Ducky Momo toy. He then placed an iron on the top of the laundry chute, tied some yarn to lit, and attached a decoy light bulb and pull-chain to it. The fake light switch hung from the bottom of the laundry chute in the basement. In another closet in the downstairs hallway, he filled up a wooden trunk with assorted books and locked it up. He then set it in the top shelf of the closet and closed the door.
On the front-door's knob, he put a BBQ hot ring on the inside which heated the knob on the outside! Finally he adjusted a fire blow torch in doorway of the front door. That was where he waited for the moment to begin. It was all set. The booby traps were ready for action! Harry marched up to the front door. He looked in through the mailbox slot…no one was there…until, "HISSSS!" Perry popped up, spraying Harry in the eyes. Harry closed them and fell back! "BAM!" "OOOHHH!" groaned Harry in pain getting up. He now looked like he had the face of a raccoon! "What the…was that a platypus?" he said trying to recover. He gripped the front door knob… "AAAAAAHHHHH!" he burned his hand while touching the red-hot knob! He pulled it off with his other hand.
He blew hard on it, desperately trying to cool it down. He nearly fell over has he dunked his burning hand into the birdbath. 2 pigeons flew away as Harry did this. On his left hand now was the initials F-F, which stood for: Flynn Fletcher. This was a burn scar that would never go away! Perry the switched off the heat to prevent an accidental fire! "That does it!" yelled Harry, He slipped on a thick glove and turned the knob. This time, he door opened up so easily! But when Harry walked in, string tied to the knob pulled the trigger of the fire-blow torch. Fire shot out and burned Harry's hat! "AAAAAAHHHHHH!" he ran back outside, and dunked his whole head into the birdbath. Most of his winter hat was gone on the top, and his scalp was all red from the fire! Harry angrily ran through the door, knocking the now off blow torch onto the floor. "Where are you ,you little animal?!" he yelled with anger.
Meanwhile, Marv walked down the outside steps to the basement door. It wasn't locked as the knob turned easily for Marv. "Oh my, its dark in here!" said Marv. In the dark though, he noticed a chain light switch. He walked up to it, and gave it a good yank. At the top of the laundry chute, the clothing iron fell down. It went down the chute and, "BANG!" hit Marv's head! "OW!" yelled Marv in pain as he fell down. He now was an imprint of the iron's tip on his forehead when he got up! He walked to the left… "WOOSH!" he began slipping and sliding with his feet on the liquid fabric softener. He suddenly fell forward and slid uncontrollably into the shelf of paint. "Uh-oh…" "BAM! BANG!" the shelf tipped over onto Marv, causing paint and pain all over his shoulders and chest! Now his face, arms, and hair was covered with paint!
He got up and slowly headed to the stairs into the house. That's when his left shoe got stuck. He looked down. It was black tar! He lifted his left foot out of the shoe and took another step, as well as another step with his right shoe. He had to lift his right foot out of this other shoe too! Now his socks were stuck in the tar. Then he took his left foot out of its sock, and took another step with it. Now his left foot was bare! Then the same thing happened to his right foot. So then using his strength, he moved his bare feet up 2 more basement steps of sticky tar. That's when the right foot stepped on the sharp nail! "AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" screamed Marv. He fell down the steps and "BOOM!" landed on the basement floor, clenching his foot in pain.
Back inside the entryway, Harry saw it, on the dining room table, the Danville Diamond! He walked over and reached for it… suddenly Perry jumped on! He chattered and snatched it. Then he stopped on the floor and looked bravely at Harry. "What the…give that back!" said Harry. Perry shook his head as if to say, "No. I'm not going to!" then he put on his brown fedora and showed him his O.W.C.A badge! "You think I'm scared of an animal agent you dumb animal? Huh? WELL, I'M NOT!" Perry ran off, and Harry chased him. He couldn't do this forever though! Where was Isabella? Suddenly, "RING!" the telephone range, until the answering machine kicked in. "Hi Phineas it's me, Isabella! I'm currently stuck in traffic on the bike path. There's a car accident holding everything up. So it might be a while before I get to your house! I'll get there as soon as I can! Bye!" Harry then walked up to the answering machine and, "WHACK! BANG! BANG!" smashed it into pieces with his crowbar. Perry was now on his own!
He chased Perry through the dining room, and Perry disappeared to the left. "What the…where are you, you little creep?" said Harry angrily. He walked into the kitchen. Suddenly, he tripped on Ferb's starboard and "WOOSH!" he fell backward onto the board as it rolled towards the cabinets… "BANG!" he rammed his feet into it. He got up angrily with now more pain! "That's it!" said Harry, I'm going to kill that platypus if I get my hands on it!" suddenly, he heard chattering…he looked up…it was Perry at the top of the stairway, holding the diamond and smiling! Harry charged after his, but when he tried run up the stairs, he made it halfway up but then he slipped on butter, "BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM!", Harry toppled down, in a backward flip down onto the floor! Perry did a flying leap over Harry and ran into the living room.
Back in the basement, Marv got up, and decided to get inside another way. He ran out the basement door, run upstairs back to ground level. Then he ran to another window. This window led into the living room. He opened it up, and climbed in .But when he jumped inside, "CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!" he cut his feet on the glass ornaments. He slipped backward in pain. "AHHH! I'M going to kill whoever did that!" Marv yelled in anger. Now, his foot was bleeding and he had glass pieces in his feet.
Marv walked into the kitchen and noticed the blue skateboard. It was broken in half, and it was missing a wheel. "Don't these kids know not to play in the house?" he had seen Phineas and Ferb from the van earlier when the family left. He noticed the kitchen sink. "Great! Now I can wash my hands and face!" But little did he know, Perry was under the sink. He flipped on the electric power switch of the car battery… Marv touched the faucet knobs…and, "ZAP!" electric shock rushed through his body, causing him to shake like crazy! He thought we could see sparks and lightning bolts everywhere! "AAHH! OOHH! AHH! OH! AH!" he screamed but he could not get any words out, due to the shock! He thought he could even see his own bones in his hands and Perry kept turning the knob, raising the voltage up…and up… Finally, Perry switched it off. Marv stopped shaking. He moved away from the sink…suddenly the cabinet under the sink slammed open and Perry punched Marv in the leg, causing him to fall backward onto the floor. "OW!" screamed Marv. "A platypus in a fedora?" said Marv, "That's not possible!"
Perry just chattered and kicked Marv in his private area! Perry then ran into the hallway closet… Marv walked up to it. "Hello?" he said, "Anyone there?" suddenly, "CREAK!" the door opened up. Perry stuck out his arm holding the diamond, and offered it to Marv. "That's it…good platypus!" "WOMP!" Perry suddenly slammed open the door, and kicked Marv in the face with his little paws! Marv fell backward and then suddenly, "BAM!" the wooden trunk slipped off the top shelf and fell onto Marv's head, breaking open and spilling books everywhere! Marv got up, as Perry ran off upstairs again… "What kind of books are these?" Marv picked a few books up… "Roller Coaster Physics…Quantum Physics… Science of Biology…Animals of Africa…Weather Conditions…Outer Space Science…Mechanics…Dictionary of Science… Encyclopedia of Music…History of Great Britain… what kind of books are these?" asked Marv, wondering off, forgetting the diamond, "Don't these kids have any good stories? What happened to cowboys, dragons, or aliens?"
That's when he noticed a book. It was titled, "A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Reptile Room". It was the 2nd book in the series by Lemony Snicket! "I haven't read this one yet!" Marv picked it up, and began to read it. Harry suddenly walked up to him, snatching the book out of his hand! "We don't have time to read!" yelled Harry, tossing the book onto the floor! "Guess what? This platypus is a weird secret agent! I saw his badge, fedora, and everything… He buttered half the stairs, set up a skateboard, and he's trying to stop us…Why the Hell did you take your shoes off?" Harry suddenly noticed Marv's bare feet with glass bits. "Why the Hell do you look like a raccoon?" said Marv, noticing the area around Harry's eyes! "You don't want to know!" said Harry. That's when they both heard chattering. They looked and noticed Perry, holding the diamond at the top of the stairs! "Come on! Let's get that platypus!" Harry and Marv ran up the stairway, holding onto the railing to prevent slipping. Perry suddenly disappeared from sight. "Where the Hell did he go?" said Harry. He did not notice the sensor as he walked past the closet… "Mom, turn around!" said a teenage girl's voice.
Inside the closet, Candace's recording doll was now activated. "Mom, turn around! Mom, turn around!" "Who said that?" said Marv, as he approached the closet door. "Mom, turn around!" "I think there's someone in the house!" said Marv, in a wimpy voice. "Don't be a wimp! That sound is very different from a real person!" said Harry. Marv approached the door… "Mom, turn around!" he placed his hand on the knob, "You are so dead!" he said. "Mom, turn around!" "Your mom is gone kid!" he then, "WOOSH!" pulled open the closet door. "POW!" the punching bad mechanism suddenly kicked in and punched Marv in the face knocking him flat onto the floor!
Suddenly Harry heard Perry chattering. He looked up and saw the door to Candace's room close. Harry ran up and pulled open the door. But when he stepped forward, his head got caught in the plastic wrap covered with glue! He pulled the wrap off of his face. "Now you're dead!" he yelled full of pain and anger! But when he stepped forward, Perry smiled from behind, and flicked on the switch to the fan. "WOOSH!" white little feathers and the Ducky Momo plush toy flew onto Harry's face! He pulled off the plush toy, breaking it in half, but suddenly, "POW! WHACK!" Perry jumped up and punched Harry 6 times in the face before jumping back down and rushing towards the attic door. Marv charged after him as Harry fell onto the floor, unable to get up from the pain in his face. Marv suddenly tripped over the string of Christmas lights and then got a hold of Perry's right foot!
Perry gripped onto a wooden attic step, trying to avoid Marv's clutches. "I GOT HIM HARRY! GET UP AND HELP! I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM!" yelled Marv as he waited for Harry. Perry suddenly noticed the spider…it was a brown and fuzzy tarantula. He reached for it and got a hold. He then turned to Harry, on the floor still trying to capture Perry. He looked down at Marv, smiled at him, and placed the spider on Marv's face. That did it… "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed Marv in terror. He let go of Perry and got up. The spider fell onto Harry's chest. As Perry ran up into the attic, Marv picked up his crowbar. "Harry…don't move!" he whispered! Harry saw Marv holding his crowbar at him. "Marv…" "SSSHHH!" said Marv, putting a finger up to his lips. "What are you doing…" began Harry, but before he could say another word, "BANG!" he swung the crowbar at Harry's chest trying to hit the spider. But the spider jumped off and he hit Harry's chest! Harry got up in pain. "Where's the spider?" asked Marv, "Where's the…" Harry yanked the crowbar out of Marv's hands and "BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!" whacked Marv on the back. "How do you like it huh? You jerk! Get the platypus!" They both ran up the stairs…
At the attic window, Perry opened it up, and took out a grappling hook gun from under his hat. He aimed at tree in the backyard and, "BOOM! ZOOM!" a wire shot out and wrapped around a branch tight! Perry unhooked the other end from the gun and tied it to a rusty nail. He then took out a pair of handlebars from under his hat, and secured it onto the wire. She stepped out onto the roof and, "ZIP! WOOSH! ZOOM!" zipped across the backward under the moonlight. By now it was 7:50pm. It was now dark outside! He got off at the tree, holding the diamond tightly! Perry took off the handlebars and threw them onto the ground, leaving the wire there! Harry and Marv suddenly came up to the window in the attic. "Where did the platypus go?" asked Harry, "Maybe he committed suicide!" said Marv. Harry looked at him. "Are you serious Marv? Platypuses can't commit suicide! They don't even do much…well except this one! " Suddenly Perry chattered loudly.
The 2 men saw him…waving in the tree holding the diamond! "THERE HE IS!" yelled Harry. He grabbed onto the zip wire with his hands. "We can't do that!" said Marv. He was afraid of heights. "Oh, are you scared Marv? COME ON!" he didn't like any of Marv's fears, so he was sometimes sarcastic. Marv shaking with fear, grabbed on to the wire too. They moved one arm in front of the other, moving along the zip wire. Harry and Marv were the about halfway to the tree. Suddenly, there was more chattering. The 2 men looked up… Perry was holding a huge pair of hedge clippers opened against the wire! "GO BACK!" said Harry, they began to frantically move back to the safely of the house, but that didn't work. "CHOP!" Perry cut the wire. The robbers ended up holding onto the rope like Tarzan in jungle. "AAAAAHHHH!" they screamed. "BAM!" they knocked into the side of the house, slipped off and falling onto the ground in pain!
Suddenly, they noticed a whole open up in the ground. A flying vehicle with Perry at the controls came out! He showed them the diamond before taking off away from them! The 2 men got up and both jumped over the fence. "Come on Marv!" said Harry, "He won't get away this time!" They both made it to their van. Harry started the ignition, Marv closed the doors, and Harry pressed his feet hard on the gas pedal. They took off after Perry's flying car in the middle of the night in Danville…
What will happen next? Find out in chapter 4! These booby traps can injure and even kill you in real life. So, do not attempt any of the stunts at home or anywhere else. Its a really bad idea. If you want to do these stunts, go to a trained stunt coordinator for proper advice and safety tips! Boolia's story has booby traps were not as funny or well done like John Hughes would write in a movie screenplay. And yes, I know that I probably didn't get the room placements in the Flynn-Fletcher house right, but I don't have time to do Wiki-style research before righting. I only watch the "Phineas and Ferb" show itself to make my story as well as the films "Home Alone","Home Alone 2: Lost in New York", and "Home Alone 3".
Please review or Pm me with honesty of my story! See you all in chapter 4!