Hello again. This is the author of this spectacular story. This is chapter 5 with more to come! This will have Dr. Doofenshmirtz help Perry even though he is usually evil. Thanks to an author here on Fan Fiction named "Pricat" for telling me that piece of information.

Enjoy chapter 5 for now!

It was now about 8:00pm at night. The stars lit up the sky and the moon was full and shinny. Up in his penthouse, in his usual white lab coat and black shirt, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was sitting on his sofa, eating a bowl of popcorn, and watching an R rated black-and-white movie on TV. It was called, "Angles with Even Filthier Souls". At that very moment, a lady was entering a room where her husband was waiting…

"Hold it right there!" said the man.

"It's me Johnny!" said the lady.

"I knew it was you!" said Johnny, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth, "I could smell you getting off the elevator! You was here was night too, wasn't you?"

"I was singing at the Blue Monkey last night!" said the lady.

"She was not!" said Dr. Doofenshmirtz, really into the movie "She was smooching with your brother!". He popped a piece of buttery popcorn into his mouth.

"You was here…" said Johnny, "And you were smooching with my brother!"

"That's a dirty rotten lie Johnny!" said the lady, filled with denial.

"Don't give me that!" said Johnny, "You've been smooching with everybody! Snuffy, Al, Leo, Little Moe with the gimpy leg, Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff…I can go on forever baby!"

"Johnny, I'm loving the moon for you!" the lady said in desperation.

"Alright I believe you!" said Johnny, "But my Tommy gun don't!" he pulled out a Tommy gun out from under his chair. "Get down on your knees and tell me you love me!"

"Johnny, you're the only duck in my pond!" said the Lady

"You got to do better than that!" said Johnny, aiming the Tommy gun.

"If my heart was an ocean…" said the lady, "Linda would have to take 2 airplanes to get across it!"

"Maybe I'm off my hinges…" said Johnny, "But I believe you! That's why I'm going to let you go! I'm going to give you to the count of three, to get your lousy, lying, low down, low-flushing carcass off my floor!" the lady began to back away…

"One…two…" Johnny suddenly began firing his Tommy gun. Bullets flew into the glass case and killing the lady. She fell onto the floor as Johnny did his evil maniac style laugh! "Three! Merry Christmas you filthy animal!" he fired a few more gunshots, "And a Happy New Year!" he fired one last gun shot. Suddenly Perry jumped in front of the TV. "Perry the platypus!" exclaimed Doofenshmirtz, spilling his popcorn onto the floor. He turned off the TV. "Don't scare me like that! What are you even doing here? I have nothing evil planned today!" Perry didn't answer, but he held up a wanted poster for the Wet Bandits Harry and Marv. "The Wet Bandits are after you?" the doc asked. "Perry shook his head, but he didn't show him the diamond. He didn't want Doofenshmirtz to even THINK, about doing something evil with it.

"So let me get this straight…" said the doc, "These guys are after you for….wait! Why are these robbers going after you?" Perry knew that he had to explain to the doc somehow. Perry reached into his hat and pulled out a notepad and a pen. He began to write down his explanation… "Hey…" said the doctor, "What's that you're holding behind your back?" Perry smiled as if to say, "Nothing at all!" but before he could answer, the usually evil doctor reached down, and grabbed it…the Danville Diamond. "What the…Perry the platypus, are you a diamond thief?" Perry shook his head and finished writing his entire explanation down. He handed the pad to Doofenshmirtz. He read it and looked down. "Let me this straight…your owner who should not be named, found the diamond, but your family left to an opera, wanting to call the police when they get back. Now 2 burglars are after you to get the diamond and you booby trapped the house to stop them. But now they chased you here and you threw bricks at them?" Perry nodded and he doc gave him back the diamond. He put the diamond back under his hat. "Well Perry the platypus…you've helped me a few times…so now I plan to help you!"

Perry smiled at the idea. "But first…" continued the doc, "I need to know where the robbers are before…" but before Dr. Doofenshmirtz can answer, "BANG! BANG! BANG!" there was banging at the front door. "OPEN UP!" yelled a voice, "We know that you're in there you stupid platypus, and that you're ALL alone!" "Is that them?" asked Doofenshmirtz. Perry nodded. "Hide in the coat closet Perry the platypus." said the doc, "I have an idea!" "Come on Marv!" said a voice, "Use your crowbar!". The living room was separated by the entryway, and the kitchen. Then above it all was the evil lair, but that's another story. Perry did what Doofenshmirtz told home and hid in his coat closet. As Harry and Marv began to break down the door with their crowbars, the doc took his remote, turned the TV back on, and re-winded to the beginning of the violent scene of "Angles with Even Filthier Souls".

"BANG! BANG! BAM! WHAM!" the door came off its hinges, and the Wet Bandits burst into the room. "WHERE ARE YOU, YOU LITTLE ANIMAL OF MISERY?!" yelled Harry, as he looked left and right.

"Hold it right there!" said a voice coming from the living room. "This is the Wet Bandits sir!" said Marv.

"I knew it was you…" said the voice, "I could smell you getting off the elevator!" Harry and Marv froze with fear.

"You was here last night too, wasn't you?"

"No!" said Marv "We were at the…coffee shop last night!" "Marv…" said Harry, "Don't tell him our personal information!"

"You was here…" said the voice, "And you were smooching with my brother!"

"Wha…I think this is a mistake sir!" said Harry acting casually.

"Don't give me that!" said the voice, "You've been smooching with everybody! Snuffy, Al, Leo, Little Moe with the gimpy leg, Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff…I can go on forever, baby!"

"I'm sorry sir but I'm afraid this is a little misunderstanding!" said Harry.

"Yeah…" said Marv, "We're looking for a little platypus…"

"Alright I believe you!" said the voice, "But my Tommy gun don't!" Harry and Marv froze with fear again.

"Get down on your knees and tell me you love me!" said the voice.

Harry got down on his knees, "I love you!" he said. That made Dr. Doofeshmirtz chuckle with delight.

"You got to do better than that!" said the voice. This time Harry gestured to Marv and he got down on his knees too…

"WE LOVE YOU!" said Harry and Marv together at the same time.

"Maybe I'm off my hinges…" said the voice, "But I believe you! That's why I'm going to let you go!" Harry and Marv got up…

"I'm going to give you to the count I'm going to give you to the count of three, to get your lousy, lying, low down, low-flushing carcass off my floor!" Harry and Marv began to back away into the kitchen…

"ONE…TWO…" suddenly gunfire came from the living room. Harry and Marv dashed out of the kitchen, and into the living room, not noticing the TV or Dr. Doofenshmirtz. They both tripped and fell onto the floor, as the voice laughed like a maniac! Then the gunfire died down.

"THREE!" said the voice, "Merry Christmas you filthy animal!" the doc now tried to turn off the TV, but the remote didn't work! "And a Happy New Year!" said the voice, firing one last gunshot! "CHRISTMAS? NEW YEAR?" exclaimed the Wet Bandits! "It's not even December!" said Marv. They got up…a man in a white lab coat was trying to turn off his TV set. "Why isn't this working?" said the man…

"Maybe it's the tiny fact, that we're right behind you!" said Harry! Doofenshmirtz turned around and there they were…in the flesh…the Wet Bandits! The doc dropped his remote onto the floor and he froze with fear. Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out his 10-shooter revolver gun. He pointed it at Dr. Doofenshmirtz! "Where's that platypus?" asked Harry. "Eh…um…what platypus?" said Doofenshmirtz in denial, "I haven't seen any platypuses here! Heck I haven't seen any platypuses in Danville!" he trembled with fear, wondering what these robbers would do to him. The closet door opened up and Perry snuck out and went up the stairs to Doofenshmirtz's balcony. "Don't be a wise guy!" said Harry, "He has the Danville Diamond, and we want it now!" "Well too bad!" said the doc, now having the evil courage, "Because I'm not telling you!"

In the evil lab lair, Perry went to the room filled with all of the deactivated INATORS. He found one, and started it up… "Tell us!" said Marv, "BAM!" whacking the doc in the head with his crowbar. The doc fell onto the floor in pain. "OW! THAT HURTS! LEAVE ME ALONE! HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!". The 2 robbers looked down at him. "Marv…" said Harry in a slow evil voice, "Where are your manners? Give him the opportunity to answer, before you decide to knock him out!" Harry put his gun away and took out his crowbar too. "You have one last chance mister!" said Harry, raising the crowbar over his head, ready to hit the doctor again. "TELL ME WHERE THAT PESKY PLATYPUS IS!" "NO!" said Doofenshmirtz, closing his eyes, waiting for Harry to strike. Suddenly, "BOOM! BOOM! CLANK! CLANK!" a metal stomping noise from behind. The 2 robbers turned around…it was a huge metal robot. It was made of stainless steel metal, had red eyes, 2 long arms, a huge torso, a small waist, 2 long legs, 2 big feet, and 2 metal claws. "'I am the Zathura-inator! Doofenshmirtz, what's my command?" the robbers were too stunned to move or speak… "Wet Bandits, meet my criminal exterm-Inator!" said the doc with an evil smirky smile on his face, "Robot, get these 2 goons out of here…for good!" ordered the doc. Doofenshmirtz could see Perry smiling and throwing a rope over the edge of the balcony, and tying it to the railing.

The robot's red eyes became brighter and shinned on Harry and Marv. "Criminal life form…" said the robot in a deep robotic voice, "Must destroy!" Doofenshmirtz crawled out of the way to his bedroom. A huge set of rockets came out of the robot's metal back and, "WOOSH!" fire shot out. The robot lifted off the floor and stuck out his long arms. "WOOSH!" the robot took off towards the robbers. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" they screamed. They both ducked out of the way… "CRASH! BOOM!" the robot slammed arm-first into the fireplace. It's arms got stuck in the bricks of the fireplace and could not move. "RUN!" yelled Harry, "Let's get out of here!" a huge sheet of steel, "CLANK!" came down over the front open doorway. The robbers suddenly heard chattering coming from the balcony! They looked…it was Perry sticking his tongue out and climbing down a rope soaked with a weird liquid back down to the sidewalk. The robot suddenly, "BLEEP! BLEEP!" began shutting down. "Can't move!" said the robot, "Shutting down…" the eyes turned off…the body of it collapsed to the floor, with no motion of all! Doofenshmirtz poked his head out of the bedroom door… "I have an idea…" said the doc, sneaking to his storage room.

And now: the funniest 4-wall breaking joke you've read…from high up in a building…

The 2 robbers looked down over the railing, as Perry was now back down on the sidewalk. Perry looked up, held out the diamond smiled. Marv picked up a brick… "SUCK BRICK YOU PLATYPUS!" he "WOOSH!" threw it down, but it missed and just hit the sidewalk! Suddenly out of nowhere, Bailjet came around and Perry hid behind a trashcan. "Stop it!" he said, "We're performing for children and teens! This is a T rated story!"

"Yeah…so?" said Marv.

"They're not going to let you hit anyone with a brick!" said Bailjet, like the know-it-all he was.

"But he hit Marv!" said Harry, "So we tried to do it back!"

"Who?" asked Bailjet, "I didn't see anyone!"

"SHUT UP AND GO HOME!" yelled both robbers.

Bailjet ran off back home…

Harry climbed over the railing and held onto the rope. "Come on…" he said, "Let's go!" "I'm not going down this rope!" said Marv. "Why are you scared…" said Harry, "Come on!" The 2 robbers then began to climb slowly down the rope. Then they were about halfway down… Suddenly, Marv smelled something. "Harry, are you wearing aftershave?" he asked, "No that's kerosene!" said Harry, "The rope is soaked in it!" "Now why would anyone soak a rope in kerosene?" asked Marv. Suddenly, "FLICK!" Perry lit a match. He chattered again. The robbers both looked down, as Perry lit the rope on fire!

"GO UP!" yelled Harry. Marv did his best to climb back up the rope, but the fire was too fast at spreading, Marv was to slowly climbing up, and Harry was unable to move up quickly due to Marv being slow… The fire then reached them… "AAAAHHH!" they screamed as the fire burnt their legs and butts. So they let go… "WOOSH!" the fell down from a high distance and, "SMASH!" fell onto someone's car roof. The roof collapsed under the pressure and all 4 windows and even the windshield smashed into pieces. Even the car alarm went off! Meanwhile, the doctor of evil was walking downstairs with a bucket of Doonkleberries…

As Perry took off back to his house, using a jetpack, the Wet Bandits just got out of the car in more pain than ever! "It's not over yet!" said "Harry, "Come on Marv, let's bet back before that pesky platypus does!" "Oh no you don't!" said a German-accented voice. The 2 men looked up…it was Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. "You might've destroyed my robot, but no one goes after Perry the platypus except me when I'm evil!" and with that "WOOSH!" he swung out the bucket. Mushed and soggy Doonkleberries were thrown on the robbers. At that moment, an entire swarm of bats flew out a nowhere! "NNNOOOO!" screamed the Wet Bandits. They tried to run, but it was no use as the bats attacked them. They both fell onto the sidewalk, as the doc went back inside, locking the front door. The bats nibbled and bit Harry and Marv all over. Harry managed to grab his gun and, "BANG!" shot a bullet into the dark sky. The bats flew away in terror. The Wet Bandits stood up now with torn up clothing. Still covered with Doonkleberry juice, the 2 men took off running back to the Flynn-Fletcher house…

Hope you like chapter 5! Didn't expect a "Zathura" robot did you? Looks like Perry won't be home alone for long…again! Oh, and Isabella still hasn't arrived. What will happen? Wait for chapter 6 and you'll find out! See you in chapter 6! Hope you liked the 4th fall joke. Review!