AUTHOR'S NOTES: And here's the fated stop in District 11, where Clove gets to give Rue a riveting speech-or not. Whatever the case, she has to deal with the nightmares following her in from one of her earlier stops, and so strap yourselves in. This wild ride isn't over.
Happy Reading!

CHAPTER 28: Illusions and Reality

District 9 was a nice break from the events that had occurred in the last three stops Clove had made, and so it was a pleasant, albeit uneventful, break from the grind. District 10 was no different.

District 11, however, was where the problems started. Enobaria actually confronted Clove about it because she was growing paranoid.

"She's waiting for me there," she clutched her mentor's arms, "She's going to be waiting for me on that platform, and waiting for me on that stage."
"And then do what with you," Enobaria rolled her eyes, "stab you to death with her illusionary daggers? Clove—Rue is dead. I understand that you're still having nightmares, but you can't let it consume you. Don't become like me—don't become Enobaria the Throat-Ripper just because of a couple weeks in the arena. You deserve better."
"I know that you know it's not that easy," Clove replied, "En… I need you to come clear with me. How bad of shape am I in right now?"
"Clove…" Enobaria sighed, her lips closing over her golden fangs, "I watched you in the academies before the games, and as your mentor, Elroy and I watched you in the training center and then in the arena. Don't take this the wrong way, but we could tell you had a few bolts loose a while back. It's not like there was anything we could do though, and even now, you're still better off than some kids."
"Don't try to butter me up," Clove sighed, "tell me what I need to hear."

"Ha," Enobaria cracked a hollow chuckle. "Do you think I'm the type that would try to sugar-coat my words just to make you feel happy? That's it, Clove—you're not in terrible shape, but you're a slight bit unhinged. All I'm bringing this up at all for is because where we're going. These are Thresh and Rue's people. If you're seeing Rue jumping through trees in a place she's never even seen, you'll probably end up seeing her here. What is it about her that drives you so crazy anyways?"
"I don't even know!" Clove exclaimed, "I thought I hated her… I thought she was out to make my life miserable… but hearing what she told me in the arena—how she was trying to survive; not to kill…"
"Most of the kids that go into those games are like that, kid." Enobaria reminded her, "you just have to forget about it sometimes, and do what you have to do."
"But that's just it," Clove shook her head, "that wasn't all there was to her. She was my rival—she was the one that gave my life in the arena some purpose. As long as she lived, my safety was questionable. If I had been careless like Glimmer or Marvel, she would have done me in. Rue kept me on my toes, and without her… well… I just feel this void where everything I was taught once fit. It's… weird, and I don't really know how to explain it well…"
"You don't have to explain anything to me, kid." Enobaria shook her head.

"Well, I'd rather you not think of me as weak or afraid, En." Clove countered without skipping a beat. "I mean, I might not be able to understand this weird obsession my mind wants me to have with that girl, but I've dealt with far nastier adversities than this."
"Then hold onto that confidence," Enobaria insisted, "it'll serve you well when we get to '11 proper."

Despite a brief makeover session where she was dressed in a beautiful blue and green ensemble with swirls of matching brown, as if to symbolize the earth, plants, and sky, Clove's thoughts were still on Rue. She would be seeing the girl's family today, and learning who it all entailed. Was she ready to see several older, larger Rues; or even any of Thresh's family? His threat had been shorter-lived, but much more prominent. Had Cato and Clove not been together, his attack on them might have succeeded.

The stop itself was painful and difficult for Clove to handle. While the mayor gave the pre-ceremonial speech like they did in every district, Clove got to see just who made up Rue's family, and it was the opposite of what she had expected. There was no sign of a father, and instead of older Rues, there were younger ones—5 little boys and girls that bore a striking resemblance to the girl on the holographic screen—and a teary-eyed mother holding them all together.

True to Clove's fears though, a 6th child appeared among them climbing onto the stage without drawing anyone else's attention. Clove didn't even have to second-guess herself that this was her mind playing tricks on her, but the more she blinked or rubbed her eyes, the more real Rue's presence seemed. She walked around her family, as if analyzing their grieving faces, before stopping in front of them, glancing up at her large picture, before suddenly cocking her head right towards Clove.

The young victor actually cried out in surprise, garnering a good amount of awkward attention from almost anyone. Clove was just glad that this had happened before her speech rather than during it. Rue was there watching her, except that her eyes were blank and lifeless—just the whites of them were visible. She sternly crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Clove, almost threateningly.

And yet, in this moment, as Clove calmed back down, still breathing swiftly as she stared at the illusion of Rue Keniye that would not go away, she had an epiphany—that was not Rue. She was not malicious like that, and did not try to scare people. This mental projection of Clove's was a violation of Rue's character—and she felt like her self-proclaimed nemesis deserved better.

And thus, her speech began. She couldn't help but express admiration for Thresh's strength and vigilance, traits that were admired strongly in District 2. When she got to talking about Rue though, her entire tone changed. She swallowed hard, almost trying to prevent herself from crying on the spot.

"After visiting District 11 I can easily see how, within a few months, Rue Keniye emerged from the hatred that surrounded her in my mind, and became one of the most significant individuals to grace the 74th Annual; Hunger Games—and perhaps the single most significant person in my life. She had boundless drive for survival in the arena, which made her a menace to me and my allies—but on the other hand, there was an elegant sense of mystery to the way she lived and an enticing sense of enigma that surrounded her death at my hands, that will continue to live and grow long after I leave. Rue Keniye had in her the stuff of which legends are made. She gave my life purpose. I am not asking for your forgiveness or your acceptance. I simply wish to come clear on my feelings for a tribute who fought fearlessly and died peacefully. District 11 lost fine individuals this year, and even I would be rather pleased to come to terms with the girl that I had once declared as my eternal nemesis—to shake her hand and to say 'well done. It's over now'…"

Clove was not sure if the applause she received was the mandatory reaction, or if some of it was genuine. She knew that she was not well-liked here and knew that District 12 tomorrow would be just as bad, if not worse. Whatever the case, her words had been heartfelt and sincere, even if they didn't quite clarify how Clove felt about Rue. It was a love-hate relationship for sure, and was one that one of the District 11 victors called her out on at the feast that evening.

"I beg your pardon?" Clove stood her ground against the brown, curly-haired woman.

"I'm just saying that you confused a lot of us out there," the woman, who introduced herself as the victor of the 44th Hunger Games, Sagittaria Svenja, explained, "we didn't expect that sort of respect and admiration from the bloodthirsty folks from '2."

"I will not say that I loved Rue," Clove insisted, "but at the same time, I did, and most of all, I respected her. She was the only one not part of my alliance that I ever called by name. That is one of the ways I show my respect for someone."
"We've all been through different trials," Sagittaria shrugged, "and every victor has their own coping mechanisms, for better or for worse. I'm in no place to give you mentoring advice or anything—since heck; I'm not even a mentor anymore myself. That was 2 victors ago. But, whatever the case, I just want to say that you should keep that mentality of yours, kid. Stay true to who you are, even if people don't like it. You might not be well-received here or by our friends in District 12, but remember—all but a scant few of them have no clue what you've done to get where you are—what you've been through to get where you are. That is what sets you apart."

Clove couldn't help but agree with Sagittaria on this simple aspect. She was a victor now, and there was no turning back. Clinging to this mindset was what helped her through District 11 that evening—and as she boarded the train for one of her final stops, she couldn't help but extend a hand of thanks to the mysterious Sagittaria Svenja for helping her realize this.