Chapter 6: Leaving it all Behind

For once it was Clarke who woke up first the next morning. When she looked to Lexa's side of the bed, she found her lover curled into a ball and still in a deep sleep. Clarke leaned over and placed a kiss to Lexa's forehead. Lexa did not stir. Knowing that she would likely be in a delicate state when she did wake, Clarke decided to leave her like that a while longer. She began to clamber out of bed when Raven burst through the entrance to the tent,

"Don't kill me, Aldrin let me in!" she said and she raised a hand in surrender. Clarke was about to warn her to be quiet but it was already too late. A whine emanated from Lexa,

"Then I will kill him too," Lexa muttered from where she lay. Clarke glanced at her again. Lexa's eyes were just about open and her brow was furrowed in pain.

"Everyone is up having breakfast, well elevenses, already, lazy bones. Come join us."

Now Lexa rolled herself over so that she was facing Clarke and she looked up at her with a pathetic expression. "Make her be silent, Clarke."

Clarke laughed and stroked back Lexa's hair, "It's Raven. That's literally impossible."

"Hey!" Raven exclaimed in protest. Now Lexa actually groaned at the volume of Raven's voice. In a second, Aldrin was also in the tent, obviously alerted by the noise of distress his Commander had just made,

"Is everything alright?" he asked.

"Everything's fine, Lexa's just-" Clarke started to explain,

"Your boss is a raging drunk who can't handle the fallout," Raven finished.

Aldrin let out a sigh of relief and then laughed. Lexa had now buried her head under her pillow. Clarke reached and grabbed the corner of the pillow and gave a strong tug but Lexa had prepared for this and tugged back. She was still a lot stronger than Clarke and the pillow remained resolutely over her head. Not caring that she had an audience, Clarke sat herself up straight on the bed. Then she grabbed hold of the pillow with both hands and threw herself backwards, using the momentum to snatch it out of Lexa's grip. Clarke chucked the pillow to the floor.

"It's time to get up, Lexa," she urged.

"No."

"You have been invited to a meal with your hosts, Commander," Aldrin spoke now, very softly. Raven had obviously had to state her intentions before he'd allowed her into the tent. "It would be rude not to attend." He winked at Clarke.

Lexa let out a long sigh before she rolled over and sat herself up, "Fine. Clarke and I will be there shortly. Thank you, Raven," she said in a hoarse voice.

Once they had made themselves presentable, Clarke and Lexa headed out to the bar where they found the gang from last night. They were all sat around some tables they'd moved together. There were two empty seats waiting for them and on the table were two plates already full with nuts and strips of dried meat. Clarke sat down and surveyed her friends whilst Lexa unceremoniously plonked herself into her own seat.

"Morning," Clarke said to the table, "How is everyone doing?"

"Better than the Commander, that's for sure," Raven answered.

Clarke looked at Lexa. She had her head drooped against her chest and was ignoring the food before her. Clarke found it strange to see Lexa suffering'so obviously. She thought back to the time Lexa had badly injured her arm when they were chased by a man-eating gorilla. Lexa had been so nonchalant about the pain when Clarke had asked. Had she been trying to appear tough? Probably she'd been trying to keep Clarke from worrying, but still Clarke smiled to herself at the thought.

"Leave her to it," Clarke said and she started to pick at her own breakfast.

"Do you think you'll be fit to attend the Council meeting today, Commander? Now that we're all drinking buddies I'm sure Clarke's mom will be keen to try again. If my little sister can keep her cool," Bellamy said. He put a hand on Octavia's shoulder and she swatted it away,

"Don't worry. I wouldn't attack anyone in her state, it wouldn't be a fair fight,"

"I'd still take you down," Lexa muttered and Octavia laughed in response. Clarke was happy. It still wasn't friendliness between them, but the words that Octavia spoke to Lexa had lost their venom. A relationship built on ribbing one another was still an improvement on outward hostility.

"Says the woman that I found asleep in the fetal position this morning," Clarke contributed. Lexa gave a huff, defeated for now. Clarke leaned onto the table and considered. She felt surprisingly alert herself. She had always been able to take her drink and always benefited from that fact the following morning. "Can I come to the meeting? I want to discuss medical supplies."

Bellamy shrugged, "Sure, I doubt your mom will throw you out if you turn up with us. But we'll probably be discussing the drone first. We need to prioritise figuring out how much of a threat it poses."

"I'm going to keep working on the wreck today, see if there's anything I can find out," Raven said, "I mean, I'd guess that it was doing recon. It has a camera so either it was recording footage to take back to whoever, or it could have been sending a live feed. Either way, someone out there has the intention of watching us."

"Emerson?" Clarke suddenly thought. He and Cage were the only people who did not get irradiated on level five. Whilst Lincoln had finished Cage off it was possible that Emerson had slipped away. "Maybe there's another bunker or something he knew about?"

"That doesn't make sense," Lexa spoke now. She had picked her head up and she looked around the table before setting her attention on Clarke. "I've never encountered tech like that before. I would have if it was affiliated with the Mountain men."

"True," Clarke admitted, "But who else out there would be interested in the Camp? Who has access to technology like that?"

"Urgh okay, no more serious talk at breakfast. I might not be as bad as Lexa, but my head is still aching a bit!" Raven spoke up, "Besides I've got all day to worry about that stuff when I go poking around the damn thing." The engineer got up from her seat, "Right, who wants to help me carry the dishes? It's my turn to wash up I guess."

"I will," said Clarke and she began to stack the empty plates. She took the majority, whilst Raven carried what she could in her free hand, the other gripped her walking stick.

"Leg ok?" Clarke asked. She hadn't seen Raven use her stick since she arrived.

"Yeah, it just gives me more grief when it's cold. Sometimes the brace isn't quite enough."

When they reached the makeshift metal sink they piled the dishes into it. Clarke was about to fetch water when Raven stopped her by putting a hand on her arm,

"Clarke about our conversation last night-" Raven paused, "I just, I don't want you to think that I'm not glad that you've moved on. I am. It's great to see you so happy."

Clarke offered her friend a warm smile, "I know, I didn't think that." Clarke was always amazed by Raven's capacity for kindness and understanding. She was so glad to still be able to call the engineer her friend. Even after everything that had tried to to set them against each other. She went to offer Raven a hug but stopped when she saw Lexa approaching them,

"Am I interrupting?" she asked,

"No, not at all. Is everything ok, babe? You look a little more lively,"

Lexa gave a weak smile, "I feel terrible."

"I'm going to leave you two-" Raven started,

"No!" Lexa stopped her, "I actually came over to talk to you Raven, if you'll allow me?"

Raven shrugged.

Clarke concentrated on Lexa's expression and tried to guess what Lexa intended. For once though, the tiredness in Lexa's eyes made it impossible even for Clarke to read what was going through Lexa's mind.

"I want to apologise to you, Raven."

Raven folded her arms and waited for further clarification. Clarke reached and took Lexa's hand. She assumed that Lexa still wanted her present for this, otherwise she would have been asked to go. She also thought that that probably meant Lexa wanted some support. The Commander did not apologise to people, to do so would suggest doubt in her own decisions, a sure sign of weak leadership. That Lexa was choosing to break that rule now was a big deal.

"I want to apologise for wrongly accusing you and for the torture you had to endure as a result. I could not do so in front of my people, but know that I have been hoping for the opportunity to do this ever since. I am sorry, Raven."

Clarke though back to the conversation she'd had with Raven last night. How she'd argued for Lexa's compassion and explained how being Commander often left her hands tied. She hoped that Raven had taken some of what she had said on board. Though she knew that Raven would be well within her rights to refuse Lexa's apology.

"Thank you," Raven stated, "I just have one thing I want you to promise though,"

"Of course,"

Raven motioned her head towards Clarke, "You treat her right, because she's still worth ten of you."

Clarke saw Lexa smirk. "I think so too," Lexa said.

"But I'm- it sucked how I was framed. I've never had anyone who would do that for me, you know- someone who'd protect me at all costs. So I guess I'm sorry that you had to do what you did."

Clarke looked towards Lexa, worried that in her hungover state, Raven's words would cut a little too deeply. Lexa looked completely calm however and she bowed her head as a sign of respect and thanks to Raven.

There was a stretch of silence, where the three women looked at each other and took stock of how far they had come in such a short space of time. Raven and Lexa began to wash up the plates together, though there was no more room by the sink for Clarke to help too. Clarke watched them work together and allowed herself a grin. Whilst she had hoped that her own people would be able to accept Lexa in time, she hadn't counted on the course of events that had led to that happening so soon. Of course there would always be wrinkles, areas of tension between the people at Camp Jaha and those who had always lived on the ground, but this at least was a promising start. If they could start to successfully negotiate trade between the clans and Camp Jaha, then this start could lead to a strong long term relationship. Crucially, that would help to ensure the survival and safety of the Sky people. That was Clarke's overall goal after all. She wasn't sure that she'd ever feel able to take charge again, like she had before. But she could do a lot of good for Camp Jaha when she returned to Polis by acting as an ambassador for her people.

"Clarke?" Lexa saying her name shook Clarke out of her thought. She focused and saw that Lexa and Raven had finished their task, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, sorry. I just zoned out a little," she assured,

Lexa smirked, "I thought I was the one suffering from last night."

Clarke squinted at Lexa. She had perked up considerably since breakfast. Clarke knew plenty about the wonders of a good meal to fight off a hangover but still the recovery seemed almost miraculous from the grouchy mess she'd woken up next to. "Lexa, were you actually drunk?"

Lexa raised an eyebrow, "Are you accusing me of deceiving you, Clarke?"

"No I just-"

"Hey, that better not have all been an act to get us to like you! Seeing Commander Lexa totally wasted was a highlight of my time on Earth, don't take that away," Raven piped in. She too regarded Lexa with suspicion,

"I wouldn't. I'll admit that I have not been so inebriated in a long time. But even so I would not have been as… open as I was if I did not feel comfortable doing so. So yes, to some extent I was aware of my behaviour last night. And I remember all of it."

"So what, you don't do anything unless there's a clear tactical advantage to it?" Raven asked. Her tone was far from accusatory however, more curious to better understand Lexa's motives.

"It can be difficult not to think like that, yes. My duty to my people must always be considered."

"So how does being pissed as a fart help grounders?" Raven asked,

Lexa offered her a small smile, "Because accepting me is the first step towards you accepting all my people. There is a lot we can learn from you. The Sky people will need the most help in the short term. But that does not make what we are working towards a one-way trade. And when I allied the twelve clans they also became my responsibility. If a thirteenth clan is to join the coalition they will be too."

It was rare for Lexa to speak so openly about her more idealistic goals to anyone but Clarke. Hearing her say these things to Raven, one of Clarke's most treasured friends, made Clarke shiver. Even after a year, the sudden rush of affection and admiration she would feel towards Lexa in response to moments like this still took her breath away.

Still Clarke felt herself grow tense as she waited for Raven's response. She could quite easily take issue with Lexa's explanation after what happened at the mountain. When Lexa had taken the deal, it was made very clear that she did not consider the Sky people to be her responsibility then. Clarke understood that that was fair. Despite their pact, they had never referred to the grounders and the Sky people as a collective. It had always been 'my people and your people'. But semantics meant little to those who had been trapped in the mountain having their bone marrow forcibly drilled from their bodies. Clarke had understood and forgiven Lexa's choice, had recognised that as the Commander her hands were tied. But she couldn't expect others who hadn't been in that leadership position to be able to do the same. So she waited for Raven's protest. But none came. Instead Raven just motioned her head, showing that she understood well enough that things had changed in the past year.

"Ha, knew it," Raven said,

"Knew what?" Lexa asked,

"You may have taught her trigedasleng and braided her hair and otherwise 'groundered-up' Clarke, but she's the one that's got you whipped."

Clarke shot a dirty look at Raven in warning. The effect was ruined when Lexa looked towards her with a look of confusion. Lexa's head tilted to the side as she tried to make sense of what Raven had just said to her. Clarke sniggered and spoke to Lexa in Trigedasleng, using the closest translation of the phrase she could think of to explain the metaphor. Lexa just shrugged in response once she understood, seeing that it would be futile to argue against Raven's analysis. Raven wasn't finished however,

"So Clarke is the Queen and your face is her thr-"

"Raven!" Clarke swatted her friend on the shoulder. She was still mortified by Lexa's little practical demonstration last night. Raven retaliated by jabbing Clarke in the gut with her cane,

"Hey, watch the merchandise girl!"

Clarke was about to answer back when the exchange was interrupted by a shout from Bellamy, his voice reaching across the camp,

"Clarke! Lexa! Riders at the gates!"

Clarke and Lexa exchanged a glance before they both rushed towards the entrance to Camp Jaha, leaving Raven to catch up behind them. When they reached the gate, Clarke saw two people on horseback just outside the gates. The Camp Jaha guards had guns trained on them. Clarke looked to Lexa and could see that she was appraising the new arrivals,

"Boat people," Lexa concluded in a whisper. Then Lexa stepped forward past the gate threshold and spoke out to the riders, "Why have you come here?"

The male rider on the large black horse replied, "Captain Luna has sent us to warn you. The Ice Nation army is marching to war. We have seen them from the river"

Clarke's stomach dropped. This past year, the one thing that had worried Lexa the most was the possibility that the Ice Queen would not let peace stand for long. That she would use the death of the Mountain Men to her advantage and start a new war with the Trigeda. Over time, Lexa had opened up more about the violent history between the two clans. She'd explained how the Ice Queen had never been content to gain resources through peaceful means. She would rather attack over territory disputes and conquer the resources she wanted for her own people.

The old Commander of the Trigeda had been more war hungry and more willing to entertain such skirmishes. But once Lexa became the new Commander she had refused to be swayed into violence whenever possible. That had angered the bloodthirsty Queen and so a vendetta had grown. A vendetta that had been further fueled by the deaths of the Queen's top advisor and war chief in the missile strike, whilst Lexa and Clarke had escaped. Lexa had opened up to Clarke about how much it worried her that one of the clans might grow suspicious of their survival and seek revenge for those lost. Lexa hadn't needed to say that the Ice Nation was the clan she was most worried about.

"Do they mean to attack Polis whilst I am not there?" Lexa asked and Clarke could tell she was struggling to keep her voice calm.

The two riders exchanged a glance before the woman spoke this time. "Commander, from what we have seen-" she paused and looked like she was sorry to be the bearer of such bad news, "They march here. To attack the Sky people. They are two days away at most."

Clarke felt her blood run cold. There was no way that Camp Jaha could survive an attack. There was no dropship full of fuel to save them here. Only a handful of guards with guns and a limited supply of bullets.

"Why? We have done nothing to them!" Abby spoke. She had arrived just in time to hear that an army was headed towards her camp. Clarke looked towards Lexa. She knew they were both well aware of why the Ice Nation had chosen Camp Jaha as it's target. Lexa turned to look at Abby,

"You have done nothing. They are doing this to hurt me," Lexa said quietly. She looked at Clarke and Clarke could see the sadness in her eyes. What memories must this be digging up for her, Clarke wondered. She wanted to hold Lexa but she stayed still. "That's what the ice Queen does. She identifies your weakness. Then she exploits it. Destroys it to destroy you."

"She isn't going to destroy us," Clarke spoke now and she could feel the urge to take control building. For all her wishing to never have to lead her people again, Lexa was right about her. There was something inside of Clarke, a drive to care for others at any cost that she could not ignore. "Because she hasn't just declared war on the Sky people. She has declared war on the coalition of the Clans."

It was a bit of a stretch, Clarke knew. Whilst she hoped that the Sky people accepting the help and trade of the other Clans was now guaranteed, they certainly hadn't made anything official yet. But war never waited for anyone to catch up. She looked over to Lexa, waiting for her to back her up. The situation suddenly reminded her of the war meeting before they'd marched on Mount Weather. Clarke pushed the memory aside.

"Clarke is right. We came here to begin negotiating trade with the Sky people. That effectively makes them part of the alliance of the clans."

"Of course Commander," the woman spoke again. Her voice was filled with respect for Lexa, "But with all due respect, that does not change the fact that Camp Jaha is poorly defended. It is an easy target."

"Which is why it will not stay a target," Lexa said. Her voice was firm and even, the epitome of command. "Thanks to your warning, the Ice Nation army will arrive to find the camp empty." Lexa now turned to Abby, "Chancellor, I am willing to offer your people refuge in Polis. If you accept, we must leave immediately."

"I appreciate that. But won't that just make Polis a target?"

"Maybe. But a much more heavily defended one. One that has never fell to attack before and has always kept my people safe."

Clarke nodded in agreement, hoping that this would help to convince her Mother to take Lexa's offer, "Lexa is right. Besides, the Ice Nation will be marching with only enough resources to attack Camp Jaha. If we reach Polis in time, they'll have no choice but to turn tail. Or they'll have to besiege a capital city without the right numbers to do so. It would be suicide."

"Do we know that for sure? What if the drone was somehow connected? Octavia has explained to me why the grounders don't use technology. What if the Ice Queen is willing to break tradition now that the mountain has been defeated?" Abby asked,

Lexa shook her head, "Anything is possible. But I think her people would still be too superstitious to go along with that. Which means we could very well be facing two threats. But the Ice Nation is the most immediate. You must act now, Chancellor."

Clarke stepped forward and put her hands on her Mother's arms, "Mom, tell the camp to pack up. Lexa can keep them safe if we reach Polis. I can keep them safe."

Abby sighed and nodded, "Very well."

Lexa turned back to the riders, "Could I ask one more thing of you?"

The man nodded.

"Ride to TonDC. Tell Indra to use the signal fires and send out riders. The coalition is under attack. Anyone who would see its future secure should send warriors to help defend the gates of Polis immediately. We must show the Ice Nation that the time for ceaseless conflict is coming to an end."

"We will do this, Commander Lexa. And you will have the support of the Boat people."

"Send thanks to Captain Luna when you are able." Lexa said and then she wished them safe passage in Trigedeasleng. The riders turned their horses around and galloped away.

"Time to evacuate," Clarke said.

It took them until the evening for the Sky people to pack up necessary supplies and gather outside ready to leave. Ideally, they would now wait until sunrise before setting off but Clarke knew that wasn't an option. To put enough distance between themselves and the army marching towards Camp Jaha, they would have to complete the journey to Polis almost without stopping. Gathered together in the middle of camp as they were, it struck Clarke just how few Sky people there were. Most were adults, but there were some children. And the survivors from the original one hundred of course, but Clarke was reluctant to think of any of them as being kids anymore. No amount of casual drinking and truth or dare could change what they had been through on the ground. They had all had to grow up.

As she scanned the group of her people, her eyes fell onto Jasper. She hadn't seen him at all since arriving at Camp. According to Monty, he had refused to leave the Ark ruin after hearing of Clarke's return. Clarke gulped. Jasper wasn't even avoiding Lexa, Clarke knew, he was avoiding her. It had taken the coaxing of multiple people to get him to agree to evacuate with the rest of the camp. Clarke looked away, unable to stop the feeling of shame that crept into the back of her mind as she watched her old friend. She needed to stay focused.

She raised a hand in the air to get everyone's attention and then began to speak, "I know you are afraid," she said. Everywhere was silent, "But we are going to survive this threat. It's going to be difficult, the march to Polis will be long and tiring. But we cannot let the Ice Nation catch up to us before we reach the capital. Once we get there, the armies of the twelve clans can help to protect us, but before that we are vulnerable. Look around you. Remember why you are sacrificing a place that has become home to you. And do not look back."

Now Abby stepped forward to speak, "You should all…" she paused and offered her people a weak smile, "Listen to my daughter." That earned a laugh from the crowd, a small comfort. "I know that many of you must be uncertain about trusting our fate to the Tree people again. But know that I, your Chancellor, truly believe that Commander Lexa's offer to protect us is a genuine one. So I'd like to very quickly ask of you all to see this journey not just as a necessity but as an opportunity. We are going to be guests in Polis. We are going to have to learn to live among the people we once considered to be our enemies. If we are to survive, not just this attack, but life on Earth we must learn from them. So think not of what we are leaving behind, but what we are moving toward. A real chance at making a good life down here."

There was a spattering of applause from the gathering. Abby turned to Lexa, who was already mounted on her horse waiting to leave. "If you will lead the way, Commander?"

Lexa gave a nod and motioned to Clarke. Clarke moved towards Lexa's horse and climbed on behind Lexa, wrapping her arms about her waist. Clarke had insisted that Bellamy had her horse so that Raven could ride with him. They too were already mounted and Bellamy moved his mount next to Lexa's,

"Nice speech," he said with a smile.

Clarke shrugged, "It's been awhile, thought I'd be a little rusty."

Bellamy shook his head. "These people aren't following Lexa or Abby, you know. They're following you."

"Then they better follow quickly if we want to avoid getting into a mess," Clarke said.

Lexa took this as a signal and she spurred her horse into a trot. Clarke held on to her and turned her head to watch as the crowd fell into formation. Bellamy's horse was next, followed by Aldrin and the cart. They had debated leaving the extra weight behind until Aldrin had suggested that the children could ride in the cart. They could also hide among the canvas of Lexa's disassembled tent if necessary.

Behind the cart the people who would be travelling on foot began to move. Many were carrying packs of food and other supplies they didn't want to leave behind. If the Ice Nation did not get word of their evacuation before reaching Camp Jaha, there was no doubt that they'd loot the camp bare before moving on. The group picked up pace as they made it past the gate and towards the forest. They would be avoiding the main path to Polis, going instead through the forest on paths only familiar to the tree people.

Clarke leaned forward into Lexa, pressing her face into her back so that she could hear Lexa's heartbeat. It was strong and even and an immense comfort. She felt as Lexa clasped her hands with her bandaged one, the fabric of the bandage scratching against Clarke's skin,

"We'll survive this Clarke."

"That's not why I'm worried," Clarke admitted. Their plan was a good one so long as they reached Polis in time. It's what came after that that worried Clarke, "What if we have a repeat of the mountain? What if one of us has to choose our people first? I know that the Sky people are part of the Alliance now, or as good as. But your duty is still first and foremost towards the Trigeda. And mine will always be to the people marching behind us."

"I know. If it comes to that, it comes to that. But you are mine Clarke."

Clarke pressed a kiss to the back of Lexa's neck and smiled when she felt Lexa shiver, "Didn't you hear Raven? It's you who is mine," she joked, although it could not lighten the mood.

"Then we shall push as much as we can to keep it that way. When I visited her four seasons ago, Pola told me something. She said that what I wanted as Lexa and what I needed to do as Commander did not always have to be at odds. I want to make you happy by keeping your people safe. I need to keep your people safe because they know things that can help my own people. I imagine the same is true for you, Clarke. Let's cherish it whilst things stay that way."

"I will," Clarke said, "I do."

Lexa shifted then and turned her head to look at Clarke. Despite everything, she was smiling, a smile that reached her eyes and made them sparkle. "I'm going to remember you said that," she said softly,

"Said what?" Clarke raised her eyebrows in confusion but Lexa turned away again and would not clarify what she meant.

Clarke sighed and turned her head to look at her people again. Whilst the circumstances were less than ideal, Clarke had to admit to herself that she was excited about the Sky people getting to see Polis. Lexa had been right about it opening Clarke's eyes to what the Trigeda truly stood for, even when Clarke thought she already knew. Her people needed to see that too, even more than she had. Even more than that, she found herself excited about the prospect of returning to Polis. Even when she'd finally been given the welcome back she'd expected at Camp Jaha, she had felt out of sorts. It was unfamiliar to her. It wasn't her home anymore, if it ever had been. Polis was home. She wondered how many more of her people might come to think of it in that way in time, if they had to stay in Polis for a while. She smiled and thought of what Bellamy had said to her and imagined just how far the Sky people would follow her. Clarke only hoped she would be worth following in the end, towards Polis, towards a lasting alliance with the other Clans. Towards a life that was absolutely about more than just surviving down on Earth.