To the Void and Back

by ElCapitan18

She's the Herald of Andraste, a Dalish elf, a wild woman that can be tamed by no man. He's the Commander of the Inquisition, an ex-Templar, and struggling between the man he was and the man he wishes to be. A budding romance would likely be squashed under the Inquisition's heel, but somehow it feels worth the risk. (Spoilers All. Rated M for a reason)

14. Chapter 14

This chapter contains strong sexual content. Reader discretion is advised.

I apologize in advanced for the length of this chapter.

---

"Tell me again why we're waist deep in snow," Varric mused, trudging faithfully behind her. He wore a thick coat, concealing his thick chest hair and protecting him from the cold.

Delani grinned back at him, amused by his complaints. "Because," she started with a laugh. "I needed someone to come with me and you were the first one to make eye contact."

"No," he groused, displeased by her misinterpretation of his question. "I meant why are we doing this? What did you drag me out here for?"

She fought to contain her smile. Delani knew that Varric wasn't really upset, he was just annoyed with himself for meeting Delani's eyes and involuntarily volunteering himself to accompany her on this little misadventure. The poor dwarf was probably upset that he'd had to get all bundled up so that he didn't freeze to death on the mountain side. Surely depriving the world the view of his luscious chest hair was a criminal offense. It had to be.

Leading them through the snow bank, Delani felt so inclined to answer him. Her smile grew, knowing that he would not like her answer. "One of the children's dogs ran away," she said, struggling to keep her amusement from her voice. "We're on a rescue mission."

"You're joking," it was a demand, a warning, she had better be joking or he would ruin her.

Delani threw a goading grin over her shoulder and snickered. Wiping the amusement from her face, she cleared her throat. In the most serious voice she could muster, Delani rebuked, "This is no joking matter, Varric Tethras. And I expect a little more sensitivity from you." He arched a disapproving yet undeniably amused eyebrow in question, and she explained, "You of all people should know how much Fereldeners love their dogs."

The dwarf shook his head, but there was no disguising the smile on his lips. Varric's deep voice of baritone and brandy grumbled, "How easily you forget that I'm the one cataloging your story. You should think twice before pissing off the author of your biography, elf."

"Elf?" she gasped, horrified that she'd been demoted from her nickname. "What happened to Scarlett?"

"I took it back," he answered plainly. "I'm changing your name to 'pain in my ass' or 'thorn in my side' or the classic 'what the hell am I going to do with you'." Rubbing his gloved hands together, he grumbled, "We'll talk about you getting 'Scarlett' back once I can feel my toes again."

Her grin returned, brighter than before. Delani refocused on where she was walking, allowing Varric to stew in his half hearted annoyance. When Varric said that the snow was 'waist deep' he'd been referring to her waist, not his. Since Varric stood about as tall as her bust, he could at least see past the powdery white landscape they were trekking through.

Bringing Iron Bull might have been a better choice. Being as tall as he was, he would have been able to see far more than either she or Varric could. Or, at the very least, she could have scaled her way up his shoulders for a better vantage point. Blackwall might have felt more inclined to join her just out of principal. A child had lost their puppy. There was a small, helpless creature freezing on the mountain side. Blackwall would have volunteered himself if he had been anywhere within earshot when she'd been searching for a companion.

Even so, Delani was content with the company she had. Varric might have disagreed. He'd have probably eagerly relinquished his place at her side to the first person to show any interest. But Delani didn't care, she was having too much fun toting around her sardonic and stout friend.

"Do you see her," she asked as a joke, knowing that it would make him simmer.

Varric grumbled, "I can't see a damn thing, elf. And you know it."

Smiling in self-satisfaction, Delani scanned over the flawless scape before them in search of a break in the snow. If she could find tracks, she could find the dog. The little girl had tried to explain to her, between gasps for breath while she sobbed, that her dog had run off just before they arrived at Skyhold. Delani and Varric had followed the pilgrim's path for some time before Delani deviated into the snow. She had a sneaking suspicion that she knew where the dog had run off to, but she wanted to find tracks in order to reaffirm her hunch.

"Just so you know," Varric said from behind her, a laugh hiding in the undercurrents of his tone. "This is going in your story."

Not bothering to hide her smile, Delani wondered, "Yeah? And what will you write about this defining moment in Thedas' history?"

He chuckled, "For generations people will know that Inquisitor Lavellan had a bleeding heart and a soft spot for puppies."

Scoffing, she challenged, "Who doesn't have a soft spot for puppies?"

"I can name at least one person who prefers cats," Varric replied, a suddenly somber distance to his tone. With a shake of his head he reasserted himself into their conversation and said, "Anyway, this must be one magnificent dog if the Inquisitor herself is chasing after it."

Delani smiled before supplying, "Her name is Princess Phoebe, so I'm sure that you deduce her magnificence for yourself." Her smile grew into a grin at the sound of Varric's chuckle. They walked in silence for sometime before she started, "Hey, Varric?"

"Yes, your Inquisitorialness?"

"When you tell this story, can you say that I fought a dragon? Oh," she corrected herself. "Better yet, two dragons, which I then tamed. And you, Princess Phoebe and I flew off into the horizon in search of more adventure."

The sound of Varric's laughter bounced off of the mountainside. "How about you leave the story telling to me, elf?"

"What," Delani wondered, "too believable? Should I add something a bit more fanciful?"

Shaking his head, Varric chuckled and said, "Believability is certainly a problem that story is working with."

A sharp sound came from the distance and Delani shot her hand up to silence whatever was about to come next out of Varric's mouth. Recognizing her tense position as one that she often adapted when they were out of the field, and about to walk into trouble, Varric hushed up immediately. Delani's ears twitched as she strained to listen.

Far away, farther than her eyes could see, she could hear playful yapping. The barking was hoarse, high pitched, the kind that a puppy made when it wanted to play. So Princess Phoebe still lived, that was a relief. Her being eaten up by a mountain lion had been a legitimate outcome of the dog running off.

"When you retell this story, will you at least mention how finding Phoebe, princess of the Kingdom of Mahbaree, ended a civil war?" Delani requested, smiling in self satisfaction as she led them toward the sound of the dog's barking.

A sigh expelled from Varric. She could hear the smile in his voice when he asked, "Don't you think that your life is incredible enough as it is? If there's one person in all of Thedas who doesn't need to be talked up in order to make an impression, it's you."

Delani turned around then, walking backwards through the snow as she made a girly aw noise at Varric. "That is the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," she cooed.

"Yeah, I'm a big softy," he said before straightening his shoulders and schooling his features. Pointing a playfully narrowed glare at her, Varric instructed her to, "Keep it to yourself though, I have a reputation in the Merchant's Guild to uphold."

Jokingly, she retorted, "I'm telling everyone," before turning back around to easier lead them closer to the yapping puppy.

Behind her, Varric scoffed, "No one would believe you."

She let the conversation die at that, content to walk the rest of the way in comfortable silence. Delani adored all of her companions… most of her companions, but there were a choice few that she counted dearer to her than the others. Varric was one of those few. Varric was the personification of wit, charm, and nonchalance. Repartee with him came with ease, and he cared about his friends with a fierceness that spoke so deeply to her. He would probably never regard her as fondly as he regarded Bella but, if Delani managed to garner even a measure of that kind of affection, she would be grateful.

They continued to walk for a while, small talk comfortably passing between them to make the rescue mission go by faster. It wouldn't be much farther now, already the sound of Princess Phoebe's yapping was close enough to touch. The puppy was around here somewhere, she was just shorter than the snow.

"Phoebe," Delani called out in a sing song way that dogs seemed to respond to, "Princess Phoebe, come here girl."

The yapping stopped and Delani could picture the puppy's head tilting to the side as she listened for her name. So Delani called after her again, continuing to make her way through the snow. "Come here, Princess. There's a little girl back home that misses you, and toys, and treats, doesn't that sound nice?"

A laugh rumbled from Varric, a delighted sound, as though he had just witnessed something so beyond belief the only plausible reaction was to laugh. "The Herald of Andraste, bargaining with a dog. I couldn't write this stuff if I tried."

Pretending to be annoyed by his observation, Delani glared at the dwarf and replied with a short, "You're not helping, Varric."

"I never said I would, elf."

She stuck her tongue out at him before pushing past another foot of snow and stepping into a clearing. The snow had been plowed down by hooves, and melted down by the sun until it froze over to sleek ice. In the center of the circle was an obviously agitated goat shuffling its hooves in warning at the pint sized puppy furiously wagging its tail. The dog was looking to play, the goat was looking to fight, and Delani was looking to intervene before her promise to a distraught little girl back at Skyhold was broken.

"Alright, you little warrior princess," Delani said as she made her way toward Phoebe. "I think that the goat has had enough fun."

The goat disagreed. He lowered his head, positioning his horns, and started to charge down the dog. Delani was faster, spotting the signs of the awaiting attack before the goat had followed through. She skidded through the ice, scooping up the mabari puppy before it was met by the goat's bone breaking attack. Standing back on her feet, Delani carefully walked a half circle, keeping the goat in her line of sight as she neared Varric's position.

They made eye contact and the dwarf immediately shook his head, knowing what Delani was about to do. Nodding, she smiled as she gently tossed Princess Phoebe in Varric's direction with the instructions, "Catch." The puppy wriggled through the air, but Varric effortlessly caught her.

Satisfied that the dog was in good hands, Delani turned her attention onto the goat and noticed that it was positioning itself for another attack. A happy smile expanded over her lips. To the goat, she said, "You're no dragon, but I'll take what I can get."

When the goat charged her down, Delani maintained her footing and readied her grip. A grunt escaped her upon impact. She clutched the goat's horns fightingly, skidding back a few inches before she grounded her weight and used her strength to oppose the animal. Her biceps strained, the muscles in her back and shoulders locked, the strength in her legs kept her from losing any more ground, and after a second Delani grinned.

Making sure that her grip on the goat's horns was secure, she moved her arms in a quick circular motion and whipped the goat onto its back. The creature made a dissatisfied noise as it scrambled back onto its hooves. It scratched at the ice, disgruntled exhales misting the air before it. When Delani waved it over with a taunting, "Come on, big guy. I'm ready for round two if you are," it rethought the situation and left with another huff.

Disappointed that her opponent and fled so easily, Delani straightened back up and watched as the goat fled the fighting ring. That had been fun, and nostalgic. In the caravan she used to wrestle with the juvenile halla. They would get temperamental and rowdy, and the best way to deal with them was by wrestling them to the ground. Humans loved to talk about how sobering it was to face down a 'good old fashioned mabari charge' but any one of them would have soiled themselves if it was a sexually frustrated teenage halla they'd been facing down.

She clapped her hands clean, satisfied with her swift victory, and started for where Varric was standing with a happily panting puppy in his arms. "How does it feel, Varric? To be working along someone as awe-inspiring as I—" The rest of her question was cut off by a yelp as Delani slipped on a slick patch of ice.

Without enough time to brace herself for impact, Delani felt it the second her head made contact with the sharp ice. A resounding pain flared through her skull and white filled her vision before black chased quickly after it. She felt a heavy breath escape her as unconsciousness claimed her mind and body.

---

Cullen was watching as Iron Bull's Chargers trained, fighting against battle dummies while their leader gave them instruction. They were a single unit, moving together, anticipating the other's moves, knowing each others weaknesses. Watching them was like having front row seats to a well choreographed dance. There was no wonder why Iron Bull was so fond of his men, why he had turned Tal Vashoth for them.

His attention was pulled from their training at the sound of a scout's horn blaring. It wasn't a warning of an incoming force, but of a disturbance spotted. Curious, Cullen raced up the stairs onto the ramparts and his eyes widened at the sight he found. Varric, the stout yet sturdy man that he was, was sprinting back towards Skyhold with a familiar body slung over his shoulder. There was a green light furiously aglow behind him, and Cullen had to bite back a sense of panic that threatened to swallow him whole.

Throwing himself back down the stairs, Cullen stormed through the courtyard shouting at Bull to, "Get Solas!" as he hurried down to meet Varric at the gate. He couldn't wait to see if Iron Bull would listen to his instructions, or explain the purpose behind them. All that Cullen could do was run for Varric and hope that the dread blackening his veins had no basis.

Varric was almost at the gate by the time that Cullen intercepted him. Sliding to a halt in front of the dwarf, Cullen quickly relieved him of Delani's weight, barely noticing the whining puppy tucked under his arm. He peered down at Delani, her eyes were shut, there was a gash on her brow, long and thick and bleeding profusely.

Blood was matted through her hair, painting her delicate features with its angry crimson color. Her typically bronzy skin was pale, the color drained from her because of blood loss, he assumed. Running toward the infirmary, Cullen glanced down to see that Varric was still at his side and he wondered, "What in the Void happened?"

A grimness was in Varric's expression, yet in his eyes was the slightest shine of amusement. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you, Curly."

Before Cullen could question the dwarf further, the other man opened the door to the infirmary and Cullen rushed inside. He ran over to the nearest empty cot and lowered Delani on top. The surgeon was instantaneously standing beside them, looking Delani over with her expert touch.

To no one in particular, yet both of them at once, she demanded to know, "What happened?"

It was Varric who answered, since he was the only one that could. "The Inquisitor slipped and hit her head on some ice," he explained, trying to speak around the dog struggling to lap at his mouth. "She started bleeding," he stated, discomfort obvious in his voice, not because of the blood but because of his friend's well being. "I couldn't get it to stop, or her to wake up, so I brought her back as fast as I could."

The surgeon nodded as though the Delani's injury matched the context of his story. She was pressing a rag to Delani's brow, already it was soaked through with crimson. In truth, Cullen wasn't entirely concerned about the injury on her brow. He was more worried about the pulsing green light emanating from her marked hand. It glowed through her glove, angry and dangerous, and Cullen could guess that it was unstable.

As if on cue, Solas ran into the infirmary and rushed to Delani's side. "What happened?" he demanded. His brows deeply furrowed at the sight of the Inquisitor covered in blood. Knowing that the surgeon would tend to her physical wounds, Solas pulled off Delani's glove and went to work on calming the force pulsing from her hand.

Cullen felt it the moment that the apostate's magic flared. He held Delani by the hand and poured a cooling, calming, current into the mark. Solas's eyes slid shut as he concentrated, he evened his breathing, and let his powers flow steadily from him into Delani.

"Our Inquisitor has about as much grace as a newborn druffalo," Varric stated in answer to Solas's question.

Feeling useless, Cullen grabbed Delani by her other hand and pressed it to his lips. He sent a prayer to the Maker and his bride, begging them to watch over this beautiful woman. When the surgeon had managed to stop the bleeding and wipe the area clean, Cullen could see for himself that the injury was not nearly as bad as he thought it was.

"It's just a gash," the surgeon stated, her voice calm, professional, if somewhat impatient with the men surrounding her. "There was more blood than damage, not even so much as a concussion. There's nothing to worry about. I'll just stitch her up and she'll be as good as new."

The words rang with truth, yet still Cullen had his doubts. "Then why hasn't she woken up?"

"She should any moment now," the surgeon assured him, a needle and thread ready in her hands. Burying the needle into Delani's brow, she started to stitch the skin back together again as she spoke. "Sometimes it takes a little longer to come around. She'll wake when she's ready."

After a few stitches the surgeon was done and left Cullen with the task of cleaning the rest of Delani off. He watched her, worry racking through him as his gaze traced the shape of eyebrows, the slope of her nose, and the plushness of her lips. He was desperate for her to wake, for her eyes to flutter open so that he could see those gorgeous sea green irises staring back at him. As it turned out, he didn't have to wait long.

Her lips twisted and her features pinched with a look that resembled distaste. Before her eyes opened, she groaned, "Where's the princess?"

Cullen assumed that she was delirious, but that didn't stop the relief from coursing through his bloodstream like a salve. She was going to be alright. After a few minutes to gather her bearings she would be fine.

When Varric stepped up and answered, "She's right here, Scarlett, right back where she belongs. Just like you."

He looked at the dwarf, finally registering the puppy in his grasp. Is that what they'd been doing beyond Skyhold's walls? Chasing after a dog? Cullen returned his gaze onto Delani, incredulity spreading through him until he gave it some heavier thought. It was, without a doubt, something that Delani would do. Mixed emotions bubbled in his gut. On one hand, he was furious at her for needlessly endangering her life for the sake of a dog. But, on the other hand, he found it unbearably endearing that she'd gone through the trouble.

A grin settled on Delani's full lips as she pulled herself into a seated position with a wince. Messaging her temple, Delani joyfully investigated, "I'm Scarlett again?"

"Not for long if you keep this up," Varric returned, scolding her for her behavior, but he didn't bother to hide his amusement as well, his relief, his affection.

Holding the dwarf's gaze, she hesitantly asked, "You're going to embellish my slip when you write this part, aren't you?"

He shook his head, wordlessly admitting that there wasn't a chance in this life or the next that she would be so lucky. "I wouldn't bet on it." He answered. His smile shifted from amused to something warmer. Varric was regarding her as a close friend, as someone he couldn't bear to lose; it was an emotion with which Cullen could easily sympathize. "It's good to see you're alright, Scar. You gave us a bit of a scare for a second."

Delani waved off his concern as unnecessary. Nonchalantly she rebuked, "All part of the plan, Varric. All part of the plan."

"Was the plan to bleed to death in the snow, da'len?" Solas asked, cutting through their conversation with a scolding tone that matched his expression. All three of them looked toward the mage, surprised to see him genuinely upset with Delani for getting herself hurt when she didn't have to.

Noting the sudden tension that filled the infirmary, Varric adjusted his grip on the dog in his arms and took a backwards set towards the door. "Well then," he started, giving Delani an unapologetic departing smile. "I should probably return this princess to her family. We don't want civil unrest on our hands, after all." Not waiting for them to question what he was on about, Varric left the infirmary with the puppy in tow.

Cullen watched as the two elves stared at one another, neither wilting away from the other's hard look. His curiosity battled with his protective nature. He knew that Solas was about to give Delani a much deserved stern talking to, but he didn't have that right. Delani was Cullen's woman, no one berated and chastised her. But Solas was her friend, and one that she respected. Cullen supposed that she could endure a brief berating.

"Don't be dramatic, Solas," she returned, eyes narrowed, a hint of a smirk trying to tug at the corner of her mouth. "So I fell and knocked my head. I'm fine."

The other man's lip curled into a disappointed sneer. Making sure that the anchor was calm once again, Solas's gaze was downcast as he heatedly rebuked, "Ma samahl sahlin, solas shem'shiral din'an."

Cullen tried to work out the words, registering that ma stood for you in this context, and that samahl meant laugh. Solas meant pride —the irony was not lost on Cullen— and shem stood for quick. Those were the only words that he could pick out, but it wasn't sufficient context for what Solas had said. It was frustrating trying to keep up with their foreign back and forth, as Cullen could only make out every few words, and everything else was lost on him.

"Emma eth. Ma nuvenin hamin," Delani returned, just as impatient with the man as he was with her. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared up at him indignantly.

The moment that Solas held her by her chin, forcing her to meet and hold his gaze, Cullen felt the wings of jealously unfurl in his chest. That was not the kind of gesture that one friend did to another. There was an unnecessary intimacy to Solas's touch, the worry in his eyes was accompanied by something that resembled adoration. And Cullen grit his teeth to stop himself from reaching out and ripping Solas's hand away from Delani's face. It would be an over reaction, and he knew it, but this strange anger had a vise grip on his heart.

"Hamin?" Solas repeated incredulously. "Ma'em irsulevin." He bit out, the look in his eyes fierce and protective, a protectiveness that Cullen knew well and was infuriatingly uncomfortable with another man feeling it toward Delani. Unaware of how his proximity, his affection, his presence was grating Cullen, Solas continued, "El felonen lath ma. Ma nuvenin elvarel dareth."

Delani's slouched her shoulders with a sigh and nodded. "Emma abelas, hahren."

That one Cullen knew. Delani had apologized to him and, somehow, it served to fan the flames of jealousy currently reaping havoc inside of him. What was the true nature of her relationship with Solas? It was obvious that the male elf had feelings for Delani, but were those inappropriate and treacherous feelings reciprocated? Did she want him like he so evidently wanted her? Cullen's fingers rolled into tight fists at his sides.

Nodding once, as though he were satisfied with her apology, Solas cooly replied, "Dirthara ma, da'len."

As though finally realizing that Cullen had been present for all of that, Solas moved his gaze to acknowledge him. "The anchor is stable," Solas informed him, his tone level, detached. Could he feel how little Cullen cared for his presence? Did Solas know how much the sight of his smug looking face offended him? If he did, he gave no outward response to Cullen's uncharacteristic and unwarranted hostility. "She'll be fine."

Not trusting his voice to not betray his emotions, Cullen nodded once. He sucked in a deep breath in attempt to curb his rising anger. He didn't know where this possessiveness had come from, where this jealousy had emerged. Deep down he knew that there was nothing more between Delani and Solas than friendship. Rationality demanded that he was overreacting. Jealousy was preventing him from accessing that part of his mind.

Solas shared another measured look with Delani before leaving her alone with Cullen. Standing at her side, Cullen watched the apostate go, glowering at his back until the door shut behind him. He turned to face the Inquisitor, struggling to school his features into neutrality. With another deep breath, he managed to put a cork on the anger that accompanied his jealousy, and was instead able to focus himself on his worry for Delani's wellbeing.

She buried her face in her hands and her shoulders jumped as a self-deprecating laugh spilled through the cracks of her fingers. Her voice was muffled by her palms when she groaned, "This is embarrassing."

Cullen rounded the cot until he was standing where Solas had been before. The thought of the other male reminded him of his anger, his jealousy, and he fought to shove those emotions back down. All in due time, he assured himself. They would talk about what was going on between her and the apostate, first he had to be sure that she was okay.

Gently gripping her by the wrists, Cullen tenderly pried Delani's hands from her face until her beautiful eyes were revealed to him once again. The stitches on her brow would likely scar. It would have been avoidable if Solas had decided to heal her, but the thought of the other man putting his hands on Delani again was infuriating, so he shoved it out of his mind.

Cupping his huntress's face in his hands, he tilted her head back and stared down at her. She had given him quite the scare. All that blood, the anchor pulsing like it had been, at first glance Delani's injuries appeared more severe than they actually were. A small smile managed its way onto his lips as he stared down at her delicate features.

"What were you doing out there, Delani?" He asked, desperate to understand why Varric had carried her back into Skyhold on his shoulder. "What happened?"

She wrapped her fingers around his wrists and held his hands to her face. Sighing, she shook her head and placed a soft kiss on the inside of his hand. When Delani met his gaze again, he could clearly see the embarrassment twisting her features. "A little girl arrived today," she started, sounding sheepish in her explanation, as if she expected Cullen to berate her just as Solas had before her.

"She wouldn't stop crying these big, sad, heartbreaking tears." A frown tugged at the corners of Delani's mouth as if she were trying to demonstrate the sentiment for him, so that he could see for himself how little choice she'd had in the matter. "Her puppy had run away on their way here, and her father wouldn't let her chase after it. It was lost forever. She was never going to see her little Princess Phoebe ever again."

A smile grew on Cullen's lips unbidden. He didn't want to encourage Delani's reckless behavior but, by the Maker, it was adorable. "We couldn't have that, could we?" He couldn't resist. Delani's heart was too good, even if it got her into all kinds of trouble.

She nodded eagerly, regarding Cullen with gratitude that he understood the predicament that the little girl's tears had put her in. "No," she said in answer to his question. "So I took Varric and we went after the puppy. I found Princess Phoebe in the middle of an argument with a goat, and I stepped in to save the day."

"And they'd said that you'd make a poor diplomat." He commented with a shake of his head.

Delani nodded before pausing and narrowing her eyes. "Who said that?" she demanded, before a grin burst forth on her lips and she continued her explanation. "At any rate, I handed Princess Phoebe to Varric, and talked to the goat about the importance of —you guessed it— diplomacy. And then, once he'd seen reason, he left."

Cullen's grin was a mirror of hers. Brushing back her auburn hair, Cullen guessed, "And that's when you tripped."

Nodding, Delani sighed before supplying, "I slipped on the ice and knocked myself out."

Tsking her, Cullen brushed his nose against hers and wondered, "What am I going to do with you, ma atishan?"

Delani gripped him by the front of his cloak and brought her lips up to his. Without brushing the plush flesh of her mouth to his, the warmth of her breath feathered over his skin as she whispered, "You can kiss me until I've learned my lesson."

A hum sounded from Cullen, liking the idea. But before he could lay claim to her mouth, a thought nagged at him, needing to be voiced. With one hand splayed over the small of her back and the other holding the nape of her neck, Cullen wondered, "What is the nature of your relationship with Solas?"

The tension that made her body immediately go ridged was telling. Or perhaps the odd question had simply confused her. Not that his jealousy fogged mind was so easily convinced. As far as he could tell her reaction was as good as a confession.

Pulling her face away from his, Delani removed his hand from the back of her neck and, bracing a hand against his breastplate, pushed him back a step. She looked up at him past her brow with narrowed eyes. Her voice was low, dangerous when she asked, "Excuse me?"

With distance between them, Cullen could see her entirely. He could clearly see how tense she was. But was that tension because of guilt, because she did have something with that apostate? Cullen's rational mind tried to worm through the green haze so thick in his mind, but there was no break in the fog, and it would not dissipate so easily.

"Your relationship with Solas," he repeated, knowing that she had heard him the first time, but clarifying all the same. "What is the nature of your relationship with him." Her green eyes sharpened to daggers and the anger he'd previously corked came loose with a pop. "Are you sleeping with him?"

Her eyes widened with horror before her expression tightened with outrage. "What?" she demanded, as though having him repeat the question a third time would help her to better understand it.

No longer interested in hearing her skirting replies, he was the one who demanded, "Well, are you?"

---

This was not happening. Cullen was not questioning her fidelity. Surely she was asleep, still knocked out from her own stupidity. There was no way that her sweet, controlled, affectionate Cullen had just asked her —accused her, more like— of sleeping with another man. Because if he had… oh if he had, there would be a reckoning.

Eyes narrowed, lip curled into a snarl, Delani felt her hackles rise as she growled, "Tell me that you did not just ask me that."

"I did," Cullen returned with none of the boyish shyness she'd come to expect from him. His broad shoulders were rolled back, his spine straight, the stance was unwavering, unrelenting. He had asked her the question, and he did expect her to answer it.

Lip curling with distaste, he commenting, "And judging by your reaction, I suppose I have my answer."

Her eyes widened. No he didn't. Delani felt a dangerous heat grow inside of her. Fury flapped its wings, breathing life into the embers until a raging inferno blazed inside of her. Cullen's words cut like a knife, but instead of being hurt by them, she'd become ravenous with anger. Delani was a reaver and she was going to tear this silly little human apart.

She jabbed a finger into his chest and he held his ground, stoking her anger even more. "Judging by my reaction you should know that you've infuriated me!"

"Why?" he challenged with a quirk of his eyebrow, the accusation there on his face even if he had yet to say the words. Lowering his face closer to her, he prodded, "Because you have something to hide?"

Delani ducked around him, his proximity enraging, his heat was distracting. "No," she barked, teeth bared. If he kept this up she was going to maim him. "Because the mere suggestion is ludicrous and insulting."

He turned with her, not letting her out of his sight for a moment. Cullen pursued her every movement, her every breath a validation of his suspicions, a confirmation that she was unfaithful. How could he even think that? And why was this possessive, jealous side of him so damn arousing?

"Only if it isn't true," he countered, doubt obvious in his voice.

Glaring, Delani clarified, "Which it isn't!"

"So you say," he replied, taking a predatory step in her direction, causing Delani to take a retreating step backwards. That smoldering look in his amber eyes was threatening, not to hurt her, but to lay claim to her. In that very moment Delani couldn't decide if she'd stop him if he tried.

Her back hit the edge of the table, and Delani was trapped. Cullen was closing in on her, his golden eyes dangerous, ravenous, and she could feel the heat directly in her core. Setting her jaw, Delani lifted her chin and refused to back down. She would not be swayed by her unwelcome desperation to be had by him every which way. Right now Delani didn't care how much her body ached for his, how badly she wanted to taste him, to feel him, to mark him with her teeth and her nails. Right now Delani was mad at him, and that sexy look on his face was not going to distract her from her anger.

"Know this, Delani," he rumbled, closing the distance that remained between them. Cullen leaned forward, resting his hands on the table on either side of her, imprisoning her. "I will share you with no man." Cullen lowered his mouth down to her ear and whispered, "You are mine."

She bit back a moan. Oh how those words stirred something inside of her. I'm angry at him, remember? she demanded her body to be still. Cullen was acting so unusual, so unlike himself. He was possessive and intimidating, and just so nail-bitingly masculine. The heat gathering in her nether regions ached for him. No! She would not give in. She was angry at him!

Ducking out from under his arms, Delani pinned him with a pointed look as she exasperatedly exclaimed, "What is wrong with you?"

Cullen turned, his eyes dark, shadowed by jealousy, by lust, by a possessiveness that she had never known him to posses before. "You haven't yet answered my question," he supplied, answering hers.

"And I don't feel I should!" she threw back at him. Eyes narrowing, emotions quaking, Delani held Cullen's gaze as she said, "How little you must think of me to accuse me of infidelity."

He shook his head, disregarding her statement as false. "I've made no such accusations," he observed, reminding her that the words had not actually come out of his mouth, at least not in the form of an accusation. He lifted an eyebrow before continuing, "I've merely asked you a question. A question that you have yet to answer."

"Because it is obscene," Delani spat, angry at him all over again for even having to ask that outrageous and unfounded question. "Because it is insulting. Because it should have never come out of your mouth to start with."

Shaking his head, Cullen proclaimed, "He's in love with you, Delani." When her eyes narrowed not only with doubt but with denial as well, he insisted, "A blind man can see it."

It was her turn to shake her head. "Solas respects me, he admires me," she reaffirmed. She would fight him on this at every turn. How dare he ask something like this of her. How dare he even think it. "If there is any love between us it is from one friend to the other."

Cullen stalked her down again, and again Delani blindly retreated until her back bumped into the infirmary's support beam. He loomed over her, his tall body pinning her between the beam at her back and himself. Resting his forearm over her head, Cullen lowered himself toward her. His scent was in her nose, mouthwatering, like summertime and freshly fallen rain. Heat radiated from him, licking her surface, begging for her to reach out and touch him. Cullen was overwhelming her senses and all she could do was wriggle in place as she tried to remind her body that they were mad at him.

He lowered his lips to her ear and whatever moisture had been left in Delani's mouth immediately dried. The flames of desire evaporating all moisture and sending it elsewhere. "What is the nature of your relationship with Solas?" his voice was low, husky, a primal growl that vibrated through her body straight down to her core.

There was no way that Delani could have answered even if she tried. Her voice would betray her. Trying to keep her hands pinned at her back was struggle enough. Oh, how badly she wanted to reach for him, to scrape her nails through his golden blond hair. She desperately wanted to grind her aching body against his, to feel his strength against her, to discover if he wanted her as badly as she wanted him.

Delani clamped her mouth shut and refused to answer. Anything that came out of her would be no better than a breathy moan, and she would not let him know how badly she wanted him.

Placing a hand on her waist, Cullen arched her body toward his and she obeyed his commands without a fight. Delani was weak, and he was too overwhelming. Mouth still hovering by her ear, he wondered, "Has he touched you as I have?" and his hand went from her waist to her ass.

Her breath hitched. Cullen had never touched her like this. She had ached for it, had dreamed of it, fantasized about it without end. But Cullen was typically a creature of respectful propriety. This sudden, strange, yet unusually intoxicating shift in personality was driving her mad.

She breathed in his scent and her body quivered. With a shaky exhale, Delani answered, "No."

The satisfaction in his smirk was loud enough for her to hear. He breathed and gooseflesh rose on her neck, sending shivers down her spine. Cullen tilted his head a bit and asked, "Has he tasted you as I have," before dragging his tongue up the arch of her neck.

Delani did moan then, unable to help herself. Her body reacted to his by its own accord, pressing her pelvis into his thigh. She had to stop herself before she started gyrating against him. Biting her lip, Delani tried to steady her breathing but the more she breathed the more his scent filled her nose. Her heart was hammering wildly, desperately, needing him to touch her all over so that maybe she would find release and calm back down. How did he have this effect on her? How could she want him so badly when she was so angry at him?

"Creators, Cullen," she gasped when his tongue continued to taste her pulse point. Tightly clutching him by the front of his cloak, Delani tried to reason with herself. She was angry with him. She had to remember that. It was the only way that she was going to make it through this.

She tore herself from his shadow with a roar, fleeing from his heat as though it would burn her alive. Delani ignored the part of her that wanted to be burned, that needed so badly for him to set her aflame only to put her out. When he made a move for her again she stopped him with a pointed finger and an infuriated glare.

"Solas is my friend," she stated, returning them to their argument before he tried to cloud her mind with his wiles all over again. "That is all."

Cullen's eyes were still shadowed, hooded. Growling, he repeated, "I will not share you, Delani."

Raising her chin, she spat, "I am not yours to share. I am mine." Finally her anger had broken through enough to overshadow her desire for him. But it wouldn't last long. Already her body quivered with need, with desperation, wanting a release that only he would be able to supply her.

Dangerously narrowing her eyes, angry at him for putting her in this position, angrier still for the argument that had led them to this point, Delani shouted, "I expected better from you, Cullen!" before storming out of the infirmary before her untrustworthy body threw itself at him.

Slamming the door shut behind her, Delani marched over to the stables and grumbled the whole way there. She swiped an apple from the barrel as she passed it, went to Cornelius's stable and gave the hart the treat as offering before entering his stall. Happy that she'd remembered to bring him a treat, the hart gratefully nuzzled her cheek after he'd swallowed the apple whole.

Delani gently pushed his nose out of her face and prepared the brushes that she would use on his pelt. At the moment, her mood was dark and foul, and she needed to relax. Brushing Cornelius always did the trick, but she doubted that the hart would help her forget how badly she'd wanted to ride Cullen as a mount.

She shook the thought from her head. She was mad at him. She was going to continue to be mad at him. Her body could calm down because she was not ready to forgive him for his accusations, and she was not about to give herself over to a man who thought for a second that she could be unfaithful.

Several minutes passed before Delani's thoughts steadied. Cornelius happily sat through his grooming, enjoying the feel of the brush gliding over him, and the action had a similar effect on her. Stroking him, brushing the hart, had a calming effect on her and helped her to think more clearly. Now that she was no longer angry beyond reason, or mindlessly aroused, she could allow herself to wonder at the origins of Cullen's jealousy.

What had he seen that had sparked such terrible emotions in him? Solas had tended to her, made sure that the anchor was stable, and then he'd chewed her out like she was stale jerky. All of which had been done in Elvish, a language that Cullen was learning, but not entirely familiar with. They had secluded him from the conversation, kept him outside as though he didn't matter.

Cullen's reaction had been far from acceptable, but a part of her did understand. She and Cullen were romantically involved, yet she and Solas were having a private conversation right in front of him in a tongue that he didn't fully understand. A typically unshakable Cullen had been threatened by Solas, but why? Delani found herself needing to know.

She decided that once she was done brushing Cornelius she would go to Cullen again. They would have a calm, nonsexual, conversation about why he had behaved the way he did, and he was going to explain himself. Afterwards, she would show him how baseless his concerns were.

---

Cullen was embarrassed. Maker's breath, he hadn't the slightest idea of what had come over him. Seated at his desk, elbows on its surface, and face hidden behind interlaced fingers, Cullen winced at the memory of his outlandish behavior.

Seeing Delani with Solas, how close they were, had roused something primal inside of him. He had felt this need to claim what was his, to dissuade all others from even the thought of taking her from him. He had flung out an accusation as though he had any right to do so.

A groan escaped him and Cullen shook his head. What was wrong with him? Delani drove him mad. Sometimes it was all he could do to keep his hands off of her. The shape of her body, and how easily it molded to his, had always been a subject of fantasy for more nights than he dared to recall. He wanted her, there was no denying that, but the way that he had cornered her in the infirmary, how he had crowded her and pinned her to him, it was wrong.

When he and Delani finally made love it would not be in the midst of a heated argument pertaining her faithfulness to him. It would be beautiful and perfect and everything that she deserved. Delani deserved more than a tryst in the infirmary, she deserved more than him. Cullen was ashamed.

The sound of his office door opening pulled him from his thoughts. He looked over his steepled fingers only to have his heart drop into his stomach as though it had been made of iron. Delani stood on the other side of the room, her features no longer hard with anger, no longer flushed with desire. They had both taken some time to think, and now it was time for Cullen to grovel.

"Delani, I—"

She took a sharp step toward him, though kept her tone level when she spoke. "Do you want to tell me what that was about, Cullen?"

"I- I don't know." He dragged his fingers through his hair. Cullen honestly didn't know. He had tried to keep a rational mind, but emotion, possessiveness, jealousy, and desire had fogged his head up so thickly that he couldn't have cut through it with the sharpest of blades.

Cullen shook his head. He knew that they needed to have this conversation, that he needed to explain himself, and he would try as best he could. "Seeing you with him, the way he touched you, the way he looks at you. Solas adores you. And I was blinded by jealousy."

He held her gaze. He knew that he had no right to ask, but beseeched her anyway. "Please forgive me."

"Not yet," she answered with a curt shake of her head. The words were meant to discourage him, but they filled him with hope instead. The situation was not unsalvageable. She'd said 'not yet' which meant that soon, and with a lot of effort, Cullen could win back her good graces. He didn't deserve them, but he wanted them still.

Her features were soft, concerned even, when she stated, "That wasn't like you and I want an explanation."

"Solas has feelings for you, Delani," he stated again, but now Cullen felt so much less conviction about it than he had felt before. When he insisted, "Feelings that go beyond simple respect and admiration," it was to convince himself as much as her. "I suspect that he's in love with you."

Delani shook her head, rejecting his words as untrue, and maybe they were. "Solas isn't in love with me, Cullen," she maintained, refusing to hear anything to the contrary. "He is my friend. His opinion matters to me, his perspective is invaluable."

She held his gaze for a beat before her sea green eyes softened with both regret and understanding. A sigh spilled from her and Delani inserted, "But, if our friendship makes you uncomfortable, I will put distance between us. Whether or not Solas's feelings for me are any deeper than what I believe them to be, I have eyes for only one man and he need not fear them wandering to another."

If Cullen had not felt the fool before, he was certainly feeling it now. Worse, he felt like an uneducated, ill-mannered vagabond. How undeserving of Delani's affections he was. How dare he even ask for them after his barbaric display.

"I know," he sighed, disgusted with himself. "Maker's breath, I know." How could he have ever questioned her loyalty? She had done nothing to deserve his mistrust, and now it was time to confess to both her and himself what was the root of the problem.

"Distance between you and Solas is unnecessary. He is your friend and an important one at that." Rubbing the back of his neck, Cullen avoided her gaze for a moment as he admitted, "If I am being honest, losing you to him is not what makes me weary."

She closed the distance between her and his desk, her expression open, welcoming, warm. She wanted to listen, she wanted to hear his explanation. Delani wanted to understand, and only he could give her enlightenment . "Then what is it," she asked. "Help me understand what is going on in that wonderful head of yours."

"It's..." he hesitated but forced himself to finish. "It's the fact that I'm human."

Her head tilted to the side and the question in her expression never made it out of her mouth.

Hurriedly, Cullen explained, "Being an elf, and having the abilities that he has, he is a better match for you. He can understand you in areas that I can only sympathize. He knows your traditions and understands your heritage, and your people would look on the pairing with favor. The same cannot be said about me."

"Oh, Cullen," Delani cooed, rounding his desk until she had managed to nestle herself between his legs and was leaning on the desk's surface. Placing a hand on his breastplate, Delani held his gaze with gentle green eyes and wondered, "Vhenan'ara, what do I care for any of that?"

His heart started soaring with her words. Did she truly not care? Did none of that really matter to her? Delani was so proud of being an elf, she was so wrapped up in preserving the ways of her people, Cullen had always assumed that she would rather be with a male of her own kind. She would have a better future with an elf than she would with him, especially if she intended to return to her people after everything was said and done. Cullen had feared that beyond reason, had dreaded that one day he would not be enough for her. With her question she admitted that as much as she loved her people, her own desires would not come second to them, and Cullen was her heart's desire.

Still a measure of doubt lingered inside of him. "Right now, I suppose you don't care at all," he said reaching up to cup her cheek in his hand. She was beautiful, so heartbreakingly beautiful, how could he ever be worthy of her? Nervously grinding his teeth, Cullen quietly stated, "But later…" and let the sentence hang between them.

"Later," she said, picking up his sentence where he had left it. "I will only want you." Delani gently grabbed him by the ears and made him hold her gaze. Sternly, unwaveringly, without even a shred of doubt she admitted, "I will only ever want you," and pulled herself to his lips.

Cullen welcomed the soft feeling of her mouth against his. The kiss was featherlight at first, tentative, reacclimatizing after a turbulent afternoon. The gentle touches and light caresses did not last long, however. After a moment a familiar hunger started to rumble inside of him, a carnal need that only Delani could quench. When her tongue skated across his bottom lip, Cullen opened his mouth to her and welcomed her with a groan.

She swallowed the sound and responded in like. The taste of her was in his mouth, her smell in his nose, and Cullen felt a scalding heat start to burn off of her. She was so warm, and he wanted to touch her all over. With his hands on her waist, he fought the urge to pull her into his lap, to force her to straddle him so that she could feel his awakened desire against her.

When Delani pulled away from him a complaint started to form, only to die in his throat at the sight of what lay hidden in her lust shadowed eyes. There were plots unfolding behind those sea green irises, plans being put together that had Cullen standing center stage.

With her hand on his chest, she was supporting her weight on him as she stared into his eyes. A foxy simper spread over her kiss swollen lips and Cullen swallowed hard at the sight of it. "I will only ever want you," she repeated, her voice thick and smoky and Cullen felt it in his groin. Quirking an eyebrow she asked, "Would you like me to show you, vhenan'ara?"

She started to nod and Cullen found his head bobbing up and down in unison. Her smile grew and Delani pressed her mouth against his again. Before Cullen could lose himself to the kiss she moved her lips to his jaw. She worked her way down to his neck and, once there, scraped her teeth over the curve of his throat in a way that sent a bolt of electricity right down his spine.

Delani didn't stay at his neck for long. A exhale poured out of him when she freed him from the sensation, even as he longed after it. She kissed the base of his neck, before sliding down his body until she was settled between his legs. Cullen only fully realized her intentions when she started to undo the laces that held his pants together.

Shock belted through him, sobering him to what was about to transpire. Even as he felt a near painful twitch in his pants, he held Delani by the wrist to stop her from unlacing him further. When he opened his mouth to speak it took a few tries to regain use of his tongue. "D-Delani, you don't have—"

She brushed his hand off of her wrist with a semi-grateful, mostly impatient, smile. "I want you, Cullen," she said again, this time using the word in regards to what awaited her once those laces were undone. "I will only ever want you. Let me show you."

Delani didn't go back to untying his pants again. Instead she stayed kneeled between his spread legs, her hands on his thighs, her gaze holding his as she waited. She was waiting for his permission, he realized. Since he had stopped her once, she would only proceed after he'd told her that she could. The gesture was surprisingly important to him.

His nod was stiff, but his consent was clear. Nervousness filled him. It had been so long since he'd been been touched in such a way by a woman, Cullen feared that he would not last. Never before had he cared about anyone the way that he cared about Delani, never before had the simple act meant so much to him. Just the sight of her stooped between his legs, unknotting his trousers, reaching for his arousal, it was almost enough to undo him right then and there.

When her skin made contact with his, a hiss pulled out of him. She was so warm, so wickedly warm, he wanted to feel that heat all over. Delani tugged at his pants, and Cullen sat up in his chair, helping her to wiggle the fabric down some so that she could better access him. Once she was satisfied that there were no more obstacles in her way, she pulled down the front of his trousers and his arousal sprang free with flourish.

Delani stared at his endowment for a moment, wide eyed, before licking her lips and reaching for his girth. Her delicate fingers wrapped around his base and Cullen threw his head back with a moan. If he reacted so intensely from just a touch, there was no doubt in his mind that he would not last a second in the heat of her mouth.

She pumped him once and he groaned again. Maker, that felt good. An eager smile was on her lips and she flashed her wicked grin up at him before taking him into her mouth. Cullen tightly gripped the armrests of his chair to keep himself from moaning too loudly. The heat of Delani's mouth was volcanic, so intense that all Cullen could see for a moment was stars.

With only the tip of his member between her lips, Delani stared up at him, innocently batting her eyes as though she would never have guessed that his reaction had been because of her. Smiling to herself, she returned to her task, pumping Cullen's length while bobbing up and down on his tip. With each downward bob she took more of him in, keeping pace with the stroke of her had until he felt himself at the back of her throat.

Cullen bucked, the sensation too much, he couldn't handle it. He wasn't going to make it. His breaths were heavy, desperate. Delani had stilled with him sheathed entirely in her mouth, and her immobility was driving him mad. Tearing his hands from where they were fiercely gripping the chair's armrests, he wove his fingers through Delani's hair and gently urged her back into motion.

She laughed, the rumble vibrating against him and another groan escaped him. What was she doing to him? He couldn't begin to understand how she was able to make him feel this way. Complying to the pleas of his hands, Delani started to move on his manhood again. Her tongue scraped along the base of his member until she was at the tip again, where she would twirl her tongue over his head before taking him to his entirety all over again.

He felt the heat pooling in his groin, hot like melted steel just waiting to be poured into its mold. There was a tingling in the base of his spine, the only warning that he would receive. As Delani continued her torturous rhythm on his member, taking in all of him before pulling back out, only for him to feel himself hitting the back of her throat all over again, Cullen felt himself inch nearer and nearer to to the edge.

Delani suctioned her mouth around his arousal and that was what finally broke him. With his fingers still in her hair, his hips arched, pushing himself deeper down her throat as his seed burst out of him in the most toe-curling ache of pleasure-pain he had ever felt in his entire life. As soon as the last of his orgasm pulsed from him, Cullen slumped in his seat and felt a satisfied sigh expel from his lungs.

Careful with his hypersensitive member, Delani tucked him back into his trousers and tied the laces back up. Once again he was covered up, as though nothing incredible, mind blowing, absolutely indescribable had just happened between them. She stood up between his legs, a smile on her red and swollen lips.

Leaning forward until her mouth was beside his ear, Delani whispered, "It is you who are mine," before pressing a kiss to his cheek. She stood back up and stepped out from between his legs.

Heading for the door, she threw a sultry look over her shoulder back at him, branding him with her gaze as sure as she had with her mouth. Delani left his office without saying anything further, without so much as a goodbye, and all he could do was stare after her as she shut the door behind her.

Cullen felt like he was caught in a daze. He hadn't felt this relaxed in… he couldn't remember the last time he had felt this relaxed. He stared at the door that Delani had exited from and a dreamy exhale spilled through his nose. Cullen truly was Delani's, through and through, for the rest of time. He did not deserve her, but that wasn't going to stop him from trying.

Delani had shown him that she wanted him, only him. Now it was time that he show her the same. He would never want another, and Cullen was determined to show Delani that she was all that he would ever need for the rest of his days. It was time to start planning.

---

Ma samahl sahlin, solas shem'shiral din'an

(you laugh now, pride is a quick journey to death)

Emma eth. Ma nuvenin hamin

(I am safe. You need to relax)

Ma'em irsulevin. El felonen lath ma. Ma nuvenin elvarel dareth.

(You are important. People care about you. You need to be more careful)

Emma abelas, hahren

(I am sorry)

Dirthara ma

(may you learn)

[coughs nervously] So... [sweats]