To the Void and Back

by ElCapitan18

She's the Herald of Andraste, a Dalish elf, a wild woman that can be tamed by no man. He's the Commander of the Inquisition, an ex-Templar, and struggling between the man he was and the man he wishes to be. A budding romance would likely be squashed under the Inquisition's heel, but somehow it feels worth the risk. (Spoilers All. Rated M for a reason)

15. Chapter 15

Cullen picked the carved halla up off of his desk and inspected it closely. The detail that went into the figure was breathtaking. The halla was posed as though listening for danger, one ear swiveled back and a leg bent with only the tip of its hoof keeping it balanced. Its horns and hide had elegant swooping and spiraling designs carved into it. The wood that Delani had used to carve it from was birch, which gave the statuette a remarkable pale coloring. There were some sharp edges, places that should have probably been sanded down, but Cullen felt as though the rough edges gave the figure more character. It was strong, noble, beautiful and unique; just like the woman who had made it for him.

Sighing through his nose, he fought down a fit of nerves that threatened to consume him whole. Preparations were all but finalized, all that was left was for Delani to come visit him. He knew she would, the woman enjoyed little else the way she enjoyed making sure that Cullen got nothing done. It was only a matter of time before she kicked down his door and demanded his attention, all Cullen had to do was wait, and waiting was the hardest part.

Everything had to go perfectly. He needed for every last one of the details to play out flawlessly, because that was what Delani deserved. She deserved to be surprised and romanced, and she deserved some time away from the stresses of command. It was his duty to the woman to make sure that she got all of those things.

One of the doors to his office was kicked open and in rushed a hurricane of auburn hair. The smile that unearthed at Delani's unannounced visitation was involuntary and automatic. There was a delighted grin on her lips, excitement in her sea green eyes, and an infectious rambunctiousness about her that helped to ease Cullen's nerves.

Cullen set the halla statuette back down on his desk as she closed the distance between them. Before he could open his mouth to speak, she cut him off with an animated, "Cole just found the most handsome cat in the entirety of Thedas." Propping her rear up on the corner of his desk, Delani explained, "He has this thick and fluffy cream colored coat. And right under his cute little black nose is a mustache that could put Dorian's to shame."

When she noticed him arch an eyebrow in doubt, Delani lifted her left hand and swore, "On my honor as a Dalish hunter, I swear to the Creators that this cat's mustache is a thing of legend."

A light hearted laugh burst out of Cullen. Delani could be utterly ridiculous sometimes, and there were no words to describe how much he enjoyed that aspect of her personality. Nodding that he conceded, Cullen assured her, "I believe you."

"Good." Grinning up at him, Delani said, "Now I need you to help me name him. I can't decide between Purrian or Doricat."

The fact that they were even having this conversation pulled another laugh out of him. Shaking his head, Cullen grinned at Delani and just took in the sight of her. She was a creature of beauty. Her bronzy complexion had gorgeous warm undertones, making it seem like she glowed from the inside out. The crimson color of her vallaslin almost blended in with her skin tone, distracting the eye from the light dusting of freckles that covered her cheeks and nose. Her auburn hair had grown since they'd first met those many months ago. Now the beautiful strands fell in waves past her shoulders, begging for him to comb his fingers through them. She was a goddess of war and of beauty, and Cullen wished to worship her in every way imaginable.

At the moment, the best way to show his adoration was to play along with her whimsical behavior. Cullen was more than happy to comply. "A cat as regal as the beast that you have just described to me deserves two names. Why not Doricat Purrvus?"

Jaw dropping with amazement, Delani breathlessly admitted, "That's perfect." Pushing herself off of his desk with the statement, "I have to go tell Cole that we've come up with a better name than 'cat,'" she started for the still open door.

Before she could leave, Cullen gently grabbed Delani by the wrist and stopped her in her tracks. Nervousness reappeared in his gut. The moment was upon him and he hoped that Delani was willing to go along with him, as he had done with her. She turned to face him, curiosity in her features as she looked up from his hand on her wrist to meet his gaze. At the sight of his apprehension, Delani frowned, all amusement left her features and was swiftly replaced with concern.

"Is everything alright, Cullen," she wondered, taking a step closer to him and placing her hand on his bicep. She was inspecting him closely, searching his features for any sign of illness or injury. She placed the back of her hand on his brow and, upon discovering that he didn't have a temperature, caressed the side of his face as she held his gaze. When the only thing Delani found was discomfort, she asked, "Is something troubling you?"

"No." Cullen took her hand and brushed a kiss on her knuckles. Without releasing her fingers from his grasp, he lowered their hands between them, and swallowed a deep steeling breath. "We have some dealings in Ferelden. I was hoping that you would accompany me." Quickly he added, "When you can spare the time, of course," in case she needed a way to politely decline his request.

Brows still furrowed with concern, she reiterated her earlier question. "Is something wrong?"

"What?" he asked, despite himself. How could there be anything wrong while being in her company? "No," Cullen assured her, allowing a soft smile to pull at the corner of his mouth. Still nervous about what her answer would be, Cullen rushed out, "I would rather explain there, if you wish to go."

Delani quirked an eyebrow and her eyes narrowed suspiciously, but a smirk hinted at the edges of her mouth. In the end her curiosity won over whatever else she might have been feeling. Releasing a slow breath, she nodded once and said, "I believe there's time now."

Relief washed over him like a wave of cool water. He knew that Delani's sense of adventure had been a dominant reason as to why she had agreed so easily. Cullen had banked on it influencing her decision. The fact that he knew her so well was a surprise even to himself. "The necessary arrangements have already been made. We can leave whenever you are ready."

Eyebrows rising with surprise, suspicion quickly found its way back onto her features, and amusement shone bright in her green eyes. Pursing her lips, Delani wondered, "How long will we be gone?"

"Two days," he answered. "Three at the most."

"Will I need my armor?"

A smirk twisted his lips at the hopeful ring in her tone. She was always looking for a fight. Unfortunately, that was not what Cullen had in mind. Shaking his head, he answered, "No, armor will not be necessary."

Her face scrunched up with disappointment before she smiled up at him. "Allow me to grab a change of clothes and I will be ready to go."

Cullen tucked his index finger under her jaw and tilted her face up toward his. Angling his face down, he whispered, "Meet me at the stables when you're ready," and pressed a kiss to her lips.

It was meant to be a quick kiss, chaste, but the second that his lips met hers he wanted more. Delani wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself to his chest. With her fingers in his hair, she claimed his mouth as hers, tongue demanding entry. Cullen obliged with a muffled groan. His hands were splayed on her back, arching her into him, pressing her against him, seeking out her heat as though it was life.

Her hands slid from his hair, down the back of his neck, until she was gripping him by the front of his cloak. Without parting her lips from his, Delani tugged him toward her as she sat atop his desk. With her legs spread wide she guided him to stand between them, her grip roving over his chest, around his waist, all the way to his back so that she could pull his body against hers.

Heart beat drumming loudly in his ears, Cullen's entire body felt as though it were suddenly on fire. The effects of his arousal was already tight in his trousers, and Delani moaned at the feeling of him pressed against her pelvis. How badly he wanted to tear open her tunic and rip down her pants. How badly he wanted to touch her all over, to alleviate this tension that always amassed between them. The desire to know her, to really know her, had long since evolved from simple want. It was now a need that he could not continue to ignore. It was a need that, evidently, they shared, and Cullen had little intention of making either of them wait any longer than necessary. Their relationship was ready for this, she was ready for him, just not like this.

Remembering that the door to his office was still wide open helped to clear the fog that had started to settle in his mind. Cullen broke his lips away from hers and took a half step backwards in retreat, hoping that some distance between them would help stifle the fire that was quickly spreading just under his surface.

Delani pouted at the space he had forced between them. When she reached for him, she grabbed him again by the front of his cloak but made no attempt to return him to her arms; respecting that he'd needed the space in order to think clearly. After a second her pout gave way to a mischievous smile and she mused, "I suppose I should go gather my things."

"Yes," Cullen agreed and he softly returned her smile. Andraste preserve him, if he wasn't careful he would disregard his plans and just give into both of their desires right then and there. Clearing his throat, he finished, "You should go do that."

She slid off of his desk, grinning up at him and the blush burning his cheeks. He knew that she adored the effect that she had on him, and she frivolously abused her powers. When she pulled herself up to his lips again it was to meet his lips with a peck, anything more than that and they would be right back where they'd started.

Releasing her hold on his cloak, Delani rounded his desk and started for the door. "One of these days you aren't going to be able to resist me so easily, Cullen," she stated as she left his office.

Cullen watched her close the door behind her and had to shake away the disbelief. Did she honestly think that denying his carnal desires for her was easy? If she had any idea whatsoever how difficult it actually was to pull away from her, to not allow things to escalate any further than they already had, she would never stop in her advances.

He combed his fingers through the thickness of his hair and scratched his scruff covered chin. If this trip went as perfectly as he needed it to, Delani would no longer have to worry herself with him 'resisting' her. He wanted her, he needed her, and he would show her that his desire for her stemmed from more than flesh. Cullen's feelings for her were devastating, they were maddening, and he hoped that she more than just understood; Cullen hoped that she felt the same.

When his heart rate had finally settled back down to a steady beat, Cullen left his office and headed for the stables. With Dennett's help, Cullen was able to get Cornelius and Delilah ready to travel. He left the task of preparing the hart to the Horse Master, knowing that the stag didn't particularly care for Cullen. If he had to guess as to why, Cullen supposed it had something to do with another male having Delani's affections. Cornelius didn't like to share; at least they had that in common.

By the time their mounts were ready Delani had found her way to the stables, dressed to travel and with a pack on her shoulders. She thanked Dennett for preparing Cornelius for her. She rounded the hart only to find Cullen standing beside Cornelius waiting to help her onto the beast. He knew that she didn't need his help, he had seen her effortlessly climb atop Cornelius countless times before. Still, when he offered her his hand, he was grateful that she accepted his assistance and allowed him to hoist her up onto the hart's back.

When Cullen cut in front of Cornelius in order to get to his mare, the stag irritably nipped at Cullen for daring to touch Delani in his presence. "Now, now, Cornelius," she scolded him for his assault, though her laugh betrayed her amusement. "You are going to behave yourself. Got it?" The stag made a discontented noise and shook himself out.

Pulling himself onto Delilah's back, Cullen observed, "I don't think he likes me very much."

"Oh, don't mind him," she advised before giving the mount a rough pat on the side of the neck. Smiling at Cullen, Delani explained, "He's just over protective, possessive, and jealous." Eyes playfully narrowing, a goading sideways smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she winked at him and teased, "I suppose I attract a type. Don't I, Commander?" before gently nudging Cornelius with her heels and starting for the gate.

Blood rushed to his cheeks, ears, and neck with her observation. She'd said it as a jest but a part of him had taken it as a reprimand, still ashamed of his behavior. What had happened afterwards had only solidified of those sentiments of over protectiveness and possessiveness. Though he wouldn't likely feel jealousy like that ever again, he wanted to keep Delani safe, and he wanted to keep her his. That was not likely to change.

Instructing Delilah to follow after the Inquisitor and her hart, Cullen was quickly returned to his place at Delani's side. The rhythmic clatter of hooves against stone was the only sound to pass between them for a little while. He gave Delani a sidelong glance and a smile unearthed on his lips. Her eyes were shut as she basked in the daylight, she was a flower in full bloom, breathtaking.

After a deep breath she reopened her eyes and met Cullen's gaze. Smile growing with contentment, Delani finally gave into her curiosity and wondered, "Where are we going?"

"South," he answered vaguely, wanting to keep his plans a surprise.

Delani's beautiful features twisted with distaste before she sighed and shook her head. Adjusting her grip on Cornelius's reins, she started, "Do you remember when I was first named Inquisitor?"

Brows furrowing with confusion and curiosity, Cullen replied, "Of course," as he wondered at the origins of her question.

"I asked a favor of you that day," she reminded him, mischief in her green eyes. "Do you recall what it was?"

His smile grew as he remembered exactly what it was she was referring to. "You requested that the next time that I, or any of your advisors, make a life altering decision in your behest, that I run in by you first." His grin grew. Delani truly did not like surprises.

Nodding that he remembered correctly, she demanded, "Well?"

"Well," Cullen returned, unable to hide the amusement in his voice. "I remember informing you that I would take your request under advisement." Delani's eyes narrowed and he finished with a chuckle, "I made no promises to fulfill it."

Pout returning to her lips, Delani threw her head back and whined, "Please, Cullen, don't walk me into this blindly." When she looked back at him her expression was so pathetically pleading he had to bite back his laughter. "Ma nadas dirthar, vhenan'ara."

He took a moment to work out her words. Ma meant 'you' in this context, and he knew that dirth meant 'tell' or 'speak,' with the addition of ar it translated to 'tell me.' But he couldn't remember what nadas meant. Even so, it was enough for him to infer her meaning. She was asking him to tell her where they were going in every language she knew. She was so desperate for information she didn't care if it would ruin the surprise, and Cullen found himself unable to deny her.

Expelling a heavy breath, he conceded with an amused, "Ma nuvenin, ma atishan." He chuckled at the sight of her grinning happily at finally getting her way. With a shake of his head, Cullen revealed the purpose of them leaving Skyhold. "Now that you've cleared up that mess with the mages and Templars in the Hinterlands the roads are safer to travel. That being said, my family is visiting Redcliffe for a little while, and I may not get another chance like this one until this business with Corypheus is said and done."

He watched as Delani's features shifted with concern and apprehension. Gnawing on her bottom lip, when she asked her first question he knew it wasn't the one she'd wanted to ask. "What are they doing in Redcliffe?"

"My youngest sister, Hanna, is being courted by a young knight who has pledged his services to Arl Teagan," explained Cullen as he tried to remember the details of the letter that Mia had sent him. "My mother has allowed her to visit him to ensure that his interest in Hanna still stands." He shook his head at the thought of his mother's antics. Her desire to see her children properly wed and cared for sometimes verged on overbearing.

Still chewing on her bottom lip, Delani ventured, "So when you say, 'may not get another chance like this one'…" and waited for him to answer her unasked question.

Quirking his eyebrow as though the answer were obvious, he supplied, "I mean another chance for you to meet my family."

---

Delani cringed internally. He wanted her to meet his family. He wanted her to meet his family. She knew that Cullen cared about her, that he saw her for more than her pointed ears and the blood writing on her face. Delani also knew that not everyone was like Cullen. To most she was still a savage, and she feared that was what his family would think of her when they saw her.

Pensively chewing on the inside of her cheek, she gave him a measured look as they continued on their journey. There was a hopeful glint in Cullen's golden eyes. Irises of honey regarded her tentatively, expectantly, waiting for her to react or to say something, but Delani didn't know what to say; she didn't know how to react. With a look alone she could plainly see how important this was to Cullen, how much thought and preparation he had put into this. He wanted her to meet the most important people in his life. She couldn't possibly deny him that.

She had her trepidations, but this meant too much to Cullen for her to fight him now. They were already on the road that would lead them south, she was already in it. However, there was no possible way that she was going to go into this blindly.

"Tell me about your family," she asked with a sigh. A grin expanded over Cullen's features, the corners of his eyes crinkling with satisfaction, and Delani's smile didn't feel as forced as she thought it would be when she returned it.

Cullen actually proved to be the worst source of information about his family. He wasn't nearly as informed as she needed him to be. Many of her questions were answered with a lame, "I don't know for sure, it has been some time since we've last spoken." How was Delani supposed to prepare for this inevitable meeting when her only source of intel was unreliable?

The first half of their journey was spent with Delani rattling off question after question and Cullen trying his best to answer them all. She hadn't learned nearly as much as she had hoped to, but more than either of them had expected. From the few details that Cullen was able to provide, she had learned that Mia's husband's name was Gideon. They had two boys named Asher and Grayson, neither of which was a day older than five. At twenty years old Hanna was the baby of the family. Cullen's brother, Brandon, was the second youngest at twenty-eight.

Three years after the Grey Warden Alistair was crowned King of Ferelden, Brandon had managed to climb his way into the King's Guard. It was a position of prestige, and the family was extremely proud of him for it. Gideon, Mia's husband, was a highly sought after blacksmith. And Mia herself was a seamstress. His family didn't come from money, but they had done well for themselves.

Unsurprisingly, learning more about his family did not help to ease her nerves. They all sounded like wonderful people, and if they shared the same blood as Cullen then they probably were wonderful, but doubt and uncertainty still lingered. While listening to him talk about his siblings Delani took the time to fortify her emotional defenses.

She hoped to the Creators that she would not need them, that his family would love her just like he claimed that they would, but she had to be prepared for the worst. Delani needed to be ready for them to hate her, to reject her, she even needed to be prepared for them to react violently toward her. It wouldn't be the first time that she'd invoked such a reaction, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. Delani just hoped that it didn't come to that.

The following few hours were spent reviewing what Elvish he knew, and teaching him some more. Cullen had retained a great deal more than she had expected him to and, after repetition, correction, and more repetition, the words were starting to not sound so awkward in his mouth. His accent was heavy, but the words were clear and his meaning apparent.

There was no way that Cullen could fully comprehend how much him learning her native tongue meant to her. His continued effort not only warmed her heart, but also served to remind her that he would do anything for her. He hadn't asked her for anything in return, except for this; meeting his family. It was important to him because they were important to him. And Delani would do everything within her power to show them that she was someone worthy of Cullen's affections.

Due to Delani's instance they stopped for lunch in a field of wild flowers. While Cullen ate, she worked to make gifts for the women of his family. She didn't have an appetite, and her growing nervousness must have shown in the crinkle of her brow as she worked the flowers into a crown, because he kept reassuring her that everyone would love her and that she had nothing to worry about. His words helped to calm her, but not much. Delani just wanted to get the worst of it over with. The sooner they reached Redcliffe the sooner she'd know if she was going to be as well received as he insisted she would be.

Once they were moving again they didn't stop until they were in the Hinterlands, heading toward Redcliffe, where his family was taking up temporary residence at the inn. Delani had already chewed every last one of her fingernails clean off. She was getting antsy, fidgety, and her heart was pounding loudly in her ears by the time that they passed through Redcliffe's gates. She would take fighting waves of demons over this level of anxiety any day of the week.

Finally the inn came into view. After dismounting, they guided Cornelius and Delilah to the stables around the back. They made sure that their mounts were comfortable before leaving them in the stables and heading back toward the inn's entrance. Noticing the stiffness to Delani's shoulders, and the tension tightening her features and posture, Cullen placed a gentle hand on the small of her back.

He offered her a soft smile and repeated for the thousandth time that day. "Don't worry, they're going to love you."

Not wanting to argue with him, Delani simply returned his smile as best she could and nodded. Taking in and releasing one deep breath after the other, she coaxed the tension to leave her shoulders and her heart rate down from a sprint to a steady race. She thumbed over the hilt of her carving knife, comforted by its continual presence on her hip. When they entered the inn she pried her fingers from the knife, not wanting for anyone to get the wrong idea or feel threatened.

Once they were inside he instructed her to wait for him to go pay for their rooms. Delani gave the inn a thorough once over. Having already been inside before, when she'd come with Dorian to confront his father, she was familiar with the layout. She knew where the escape routes were, and that knowledge only served to tempt her to make a break for it. Delani stood fast. She could do this. For Cullen, she could make it through this.

Her attention was swept up by the sound of a woman calling for Cullen, "Cullen Stanton Rutherford, is that you?" A woman who appeared to be in her mid to late thirties, with a halo of golden hair and a warm mien about her, descended from the stairway and ran toward the Commander.

Cullen turned from his conversation with the innkeeper and faced the woman charging him down. A grin larger than any Delani had ever seen him wear conquered his features. Spreading his arms, he greeted the woman with an excited, "Mia!"

His sister threw herself into his arms and Cullen spun with her once before setting her back down on her feet. Holding her by the shoulders, he gave his sister a close inspection before he said in a breath of relief and contentment, "You look well."

Delani's heart was beating too loudly in her ears for her to catch what Mia had said in reply. She noticed a movement out of the corner of her eye and immediately her gaze darted to the three more blonds that were descending the inn's stairwell. It was the rest of Cullen's family, she assumed, coming to join in on the reunion. Her attention was snapped back to Cullen as he guided his sister over to Delani and, instead of listening to the insistent voice nagging at her to take flight, she forced a smile onto her face.

Guiding his sister toward Delani, Cullen grinned from one woman to the next as he started his introductions. "Mia, I'd like you to meet the leader of the Inquisition, and the Herald of Andraste, Lady Lavellan."

"My Lady," he said to Delani, offering her a reassuring smile. "This is my eldest sister, Mia."

Mia was squeezing Cullen's arm tightly, her features wide with amazement. While a second of tense silence lingered between them, Delani took advantage of the moment to take Mia in. She was several inches taller than Delani, standing as tall as Cullen's temple when Delani only came up to the center of his chest. She was beautiful, sharing many of the same characteristics as Cullen. Her blonde hair was lighter than her brother's, appearing to have more of a sun kissed sandy color than the gold of Cullen's mane. Mia's hair cascaded down her shoulders in soft curls, silky ringlets framing her elegant face, and pulling the attention of everyone in the room.

She had an oval shaped face, almond shaped eyes with irises the color of polished cherry wood, her lips were thin and pouty, and she had beautiful alabaster skin. Her features were creased by a lifetime spent laughing. Mia had a warmth about her, a kindness that helped to ease Delani's nervousness. She offered Delani a pleasant grin, excitement sparkling in her warm brown eyes.

To Cullen she exclaimed, "When you said that you and the Inquisitor had dealings in Ferelden I hardly expected you to actually bring her to meet us!" She then turned her attention to Delani and her smile grew, her excitement spilled onto her features. "This is so exciting! It's an honor to meet you, Your Worship."

Delani smiled politely at Mia, and said, "Please, Mia, call me Delani," hoping that she was better with informalities than Cullen was.

Before another word could pass between them, a soft and gentle voice called for Cullen. "Cullen!" Delani took a step back as the young blond ran across the inn and jumped into her brother's arms.

Squeezing his sister tightly, Cullen buried his face in her hair. There was a grin in his voice when he exhaled, "Hanna," and set her back onto her feet. Smiling adoringly at his baby sister, he observed, "You've grown since I've last seen you."

Irately poking his chest, Hanna returned, "Well, if you made more of an effort to see us this wouldn't come as such of a surprise to you." The small smile on her lips revealed that she was only mostly teasing.

A berated blush started to pink Cullen's cheeks before he moved his attention to the young man that could have been his twin. "Bran," he pulled his brother into an embrace, forcefully patting his back as the younger man squeezed him tightly.

When the brothers released each other, Cullen moved to greet the last one in their circle. The shortest of Cullen's family members was still taller than Delani. Cullen's mother was a homely looking woman, warm and kind with a shine of maternal adoration in her brown eyes. She had the same blonde hair as her children, threaded with silver and strands of white.

"Mother," Cullen brushed a soft kiss on his mother's brow before gently enveloping her in his arms, as if he were afraid to break her. When his mother's arms wrapped around his waist, Delani could see the force with which she was hugging her son. They had all missed him so dearly. The sight of them together was heart warming, and made Delani think of seeing her clan again. Seeing Cullen with his mother made her miss hers but, for now, she was happy to witness Cullen be together with his family again.

When they separated Cullen reintroduced Delani to all of them and, the moment that the introductions were over, the questions started raining down.

"Is it true that you can close rifts?"

"Can I see the mark on your hand?"

"Is it true that it might end up killing you?"

"What do those tattoos on your face mean?"

"Do you have tattoos anywhere else?"

"Bran!"

"What, Cullen? It's a legitimate question!"

"There's this rumor floating around that you walked through the Fade. Well did you?"

"Did you meet Andraste? What was she like?"

"You are so thin! Cullen, you need to make sure that the Inquisitor is eating!"

"You're Dalish aren't you? Is it true that your people kidnap children and make blood sacrifices to your gods?"

Horror drained the color from Cullen's face. "Hanna," he reprimanded his youngest sister who simply shrugged in response to her brother's ire, completely unfazed by a look Delani had seen countless soldiers wilt away from.

"Cullen," she returned just as bitingly. Giving Delani an inquisitive once over, she admitted, "I'm just curious."

Smiling at the young woman, Delani nervously tucked her hair behind her ear with her free hand. Her other hand was currently being held by Mia, who was inspecting the anchor closely with Brandon leaning over beside her. To Hanna, Delani assured her, "We only do that during the blood moon."

They all gasped and Cullen hurried to reassure them, "Maker's breath, she's joking. Tell them you're joking."

Anxiety made her fidgety, and Delani had no control of her mouth when she rebuked with a dry, "I never joke about the blood moon, Commander. You know that."

He gave her a stern look, but there was no hiding the amusement in his eyes. "My Lady," he chastised her with a shake of head. He placed his hand on the small of Delani's back and smiled down at her. "I would appreciate it if you would refrain from scaring my family."

Offering Cullen a half smile, Delani replied, "I'll take it under advisement, Commander, but I make no promises."

Surprised that he would be so bold in front of his family, Delani searched all of their faces and was relieved to find that none of them seemed to notice, or perhaps they simply didn't mind, all except his mother; who just so happened to be glaring at the sight of the contact.

Mouth twisting into a sneer, Cullen's mother observed, "You're not wearing any shoes."

Her heart fell in her chest. Delani looked down at her feet and wiggled her toes. Horrified with herself for not having the sense to wear boots. While spending her leisure time around Skyhold, she always did it barefoot. The only time that Delani ever really bothered to wear her boots was when she knew to expect to find herself in a combat situation. Cullen had advised her that armor wasn't going to be necessary, and so she'd disregarded concerning herself with footwear completely. She was an idiot. Shemlan wore shoes all the time, anything else was strange and unwelcome.

"I- uhm- well… I didn't think-" she chewed on her lip as she looked around at her human audience. Panic started to spread through her. Barely met for ten minutes and already this was not going well. Hoping to distract everyone from the discomfort radiating from her, Delani announced, "I have something for you," before turning her attention to Mia and Hanna. "All three of you."

Swinging her pack around to her front, Delani removed the flower crowns she had carefully stored inside. She was relieved to find that none of the flowers had been damaged by their travels, and all the petals were still in place. She handed them to Mia and Hanna, who immediately fawned over their gifts. When Delani offered Cullen's mother the last crown, the woman raised her hand to decline.

Saving Delani from further humiliation, Brandon motioned for the crown with a grin. "Well if she doesn't want it, I'll take it." He eagerly took the flower crown from Delani and placed it on his head. Looking around at the circle that consisted predominantly of women, Brandon confessed, "I've never felt more beautiful in my entire life."

There was a laugh in Cullen's voice when he stated, "You have not changed a single bit."

To his eldest sister, Cullen asked, "Where are Gideon and the boys?"

"They stayed in South Reach with papa," Mia answered, smiling warmly at her brother. She was fiddling with the flower crown on her head, touching the petals with gentle fascination. "Gideon was commissioned to make a suit of armor and couldn't be pulled away. So it's only us girls, and Bran."

Brandon, who was adjusting how Hanna's crown sat on her head, inserted, "Thank you for not including me in that generalization."

"Oh, I don't know, Bran," Hanna said, grinning up at her older brother. "You should embrace your feminine side, it looks so good on you," before sticking out her tongue.

Stepping up behind Delani, Cullen started pull on the straps of her backpack as he said, "I'll go drop our belongings off in our rooms." When Delani shrugged off her pack and allowed Cullen to take hold of it, he nodded toward an empty table and said, "Why don't you all take a seat and get to know one another?"

"What a great idea!" Mia said, hooking her arm through Delani's and pulling her toward the table. "I have so much to ask you about the Inquisition. Cullen tells me nothing."

Delani threw a pleading glance at Cullen, but he simply smiled as he abandoned her to her fate. She was tugged over the table and plopped down with a sigh. Half a second later Cullen's family joined her, all except for his mother; who lingered back, regarding Delani with a look that greatly resembled distaste.

Before Delani could dwell on what that expression meant, Mia stole her attention with another question; it would be the first of many. "I heard that the Hero of Ferelden was Dalish. Did you two know each other?"

The afternoon pressed on like that for some time. Cullen's family had so many questions, and Delani did her best to answer them all. When Cullen finally found his way back to the table, they redirected their interrogation from Delani onto Cullen; giving her a short reprieve before they decided to bombard her with more questions.

From his seat beside hers, Cullen would occasionally reach out and touch Delani. The contact was brief, but it was warm and constant. The feeling of his hand on her arm, brushing her shoulder, his knee knocking against hers should have helped to ease her nerves, but the look that his mother gave her darkened with each touch.

When Cullen gently brushed his fingers over Delani's shoulder again, his mother's eyes narrowed to daggers and she interrupted the table's ongoing conversation to ask, "Since the Inquisition is a Chantry military operation at its core, is it safe to assume that you've converted to Andrastianism?"

Delani's eyes widened. She glanced up at Cullen but he appeared to be just as surprised by the question as she was. His siblings also looked surprised, but no one said anything about the question, just simply waited to hear her answer. Clearing her throat, Delani fidgeted in her seat and considered how best to answer that question.

"No," she started, knowing that the ice she was treading on was extremely thin. Religion was a topic she typically avoided at all costs, but Cullen's mother did not seem the type to give up. She was careful to maintain a respectful tone as she finished, "I have not converted."

"So you remain a pagan," she snipped, her tone distrustful and disgusted, "a heretic?"

"Mother—" Cullen started, only to be cut off by Delani gently grabbing a hold of his arm.

She offered him a reassuring smile before returning her attention to his mother. "Lady Rutherford, I don't feel that the whole of Thedas minds which religion I fall under when there is so much more to concern ourselves with."

"The whole of Thedas might not, but I do," she retorted before looking at Cullen and adding. "My son should." Before he could say anything to stop his mother from pursuing the conversation further, Lady Rutherford continued with her argument. "How can you allow yourself to be called the Herald of Andraste when you shame the very title? You are meant to serve the bride of the one true god, and yet you worship false idols."

Delani blinked several times, surprised by the venom in the older woman's tone. Lady Rutherford really didn't like her. She'd thought that she had prepared herself for such a reaction but, as it turned out, there was no preparing for this level of rejection.

"I never wanted the title of Herald, my lady," Delani informed her, struggling to maintain a respectful tone. Not only was Lady Rutherford her elder, but she was also Cullen's mother, and Delani would not allow herself to disrespect the woman, even if she didn't return the kindness. "People will believe what they want no matter what I say. And I'm not so bold as to think that I can decide which gods are real and which aren't."

Lady Rutherford took in a sharp breath. She opened her mouth to argue further with Delani but Cullen curtly cut her off before she could. "Enough, mother," he growled, his tone dangerous and unbending. Giving his mother an angry look, he reminded her, "Lady Lavellan is the Inquisitor, and I will not allow you to talk to her in such a manner."

His mother wrung her hands in her lap, gritting her teeth as she fought not to fight with her son. After a minute, she released a heavy breath and conceded, "You're right."

"I am," he agreed. Setting his jaw, Cullen told his mother to, "Apologize to the Inquisitor."

Surprised that he would demand such a thing from his mother, Delani placed a hand on his bicep and assured him that, "That's not necessary, Commander. Lady Rutherford was just—"

"Being rude and disrespectful," he completed her sentence for her, his narrowed gaze not leaving his mother's for a second. To his mother, Cullen stated, "Lady Lavellan is the most thoughtful, considerate, kind, and loyal person I have ever had the pleasure of serving under. She alone can close rifts, she alone can stop Corypheus, and she alone can lead the Inquisition. It hardly matters what gods she prays to when compared to all of that, wouldn't you agree, mother?"

Lady Rutherford worked her jaw as she thought over Cullen's words and tried to find away around them. After a moment a defeated sigh sounded from her, and she apologetically tucked her chin toward her chest. "My sincerest apologies, my Lady Inquisitor. I spoke without thinking."

Mia, Brandon, and Hanna were staring, wide eyed and slack jawed. After a minute passed it was Mia who snapped her jaw shut and tried to alleviate the tension that had settled around their table. "Well, now that that's out of the way. Can I get anyone something to drink?"

It was Cullen who stood from the table. He offered his eldest sister a smile, and said, "Allow me, Mia," before heading over toward the bar.

A second later Lady Rutherford excused herself and gave chase after Cullen. Delani watched them head over to the other side of the inn, wanting to know what they were going to talk about. Brandon pulled her attention from the two, a smile on his face, his brown eyes warm and gentle just like his brother's.

"When I heard that Cullen might be coming to visit us, I grabbed a chessboard so that we could play." His smile grew into an excited grin. "Did you want to try your luck against the master?"

Delani smiled at him, a laugh in her voice when she replied, "I have to warn you, Cullen has been teaching me how to play and I haven't learned a single thing."

"Good," Mia chuckled in reply, "Bran will need a comfort game after I wipe the floor with him."

Her smile wavered from her features when Cullen and his mother still hadn't returned. While she did want to play with Brandon and Mia, Delani was more interested in learning what was taking them so long. With the excuse of needing to find a privy, Delani pardoned herself from the table and went in search of the Commander and his mother.

Her search took her upstairs to the inn's rooms. There was a long hall that branched out into other, shorter halls. A few steps in and Delani was pulled to a stop by the sound of Cullen's agitated voice. She pushed herself up against the wall and steadied her breath, trying to coax her heart back down to a calm beat. Straining her ears, she listened in on a conversation she hadn't meant to be a part of.

"— behavior was unacceptable, mother," said Cullen, still outraged over what had just transpired.

Lady Rutherford's tone was tight when she rebuked. "My behavior was that of a concerned mother worried about the future of her son."

"Mother," Cullen sighed.

"Don't 'mother' me," she snapped at him before investigating, "Are the two of you romantically involved?" When Cullen responded with silence, she pressed him for an answer. "Well, are you?"

"Yes," he admitted shamelessly, even sounding proud by the confession. "We are and I care about her very much."

"Enough to marry her?"

Cullen coughed up a surprised, "What?"

"She may be Inquisitor but, after everything is said and done, she is still an elf, and a Dalish elf at that. She has no land, she has no money, she has no title beyond that of Inquisitor."

"What are you getting at, mother?"

"You are the general of a great army, you are still a young man in his prime, and a bachelor eligible for marriage. You should be looking for a nice girl to marry, a girl that can offer you more. Someone with a title and an inheritance, someone who comes from a respectable family. You need to look for a nice Andrastian girl, because a relationship with this elf will only end in disaster."

"I'm not interested in—"

Having heard enough, Delani turned away from the conversation and headed back down the stairs. She walked past Mia, Hanna, and Brandon with a brisk, "I need some air," and headed outside.

Dusk was starting to darken the heavens, cooling the temperature down to a mild chill. Delani walked down the few steps before taking a seat on the second to last one. Sighing through her nose, she buried her hands in her hair and closed her eyes. She had known to expect hostility. She had known to expect rejection. What she hadn't known to expect was for Cullen's mother to be right. Delani had nothing to offer Cullen. He deserved lands and titles and respect, none of which she could give him. Delani would always be just an elf.