Ch. 4
I pulled away from Toma immediately.
He stared at me with his cold golden eyes. He looked as if he were going to say something, then Shin walked over and sat in-between us. My fear probably showed, because I felt utterly terrified.
"Shin let's go," I said standing up, grabbing Shin's hand..leading him away from the park.
"Wa-wait!" he yelled, stopping in his tracks.
"What?!" I yelled, turning around to face him.
At that moment, tears began to stream down my face. I tried to conceal it, but it was practically impossible.
"Plea-please, let's just go," I whispered, attempting to keep my red puffy eyes hidden.
He didn't resist and followed behind me quietly, until we reached my stayed with me the rest of the day and stood by my bed as I began to fall asleep. He promised he wouldn't let go, but I assumed he would leave shortly after I fell asleep. Which made it even more difficult for me to close my eyes. I woke up to the sound of loud thunder ringing throughout my small beat against my window and when I sat up I realized Shin's head was resting on my lap, his hand still covering mine. I gently shook him and he woke up a bit startled as lightning struck and the room lit up. "That's strange," he said stretching.
"Shin," I said without thinking.
"Yeah?" he answered.
"No-nothing. I just said it without thinking," I admitted.
"Oh?" he said walking towards me.
Before I could react he picked my up into his arms and held me in his arms.
"Listen, I don't want you home alone and you can't be trusted to walk beside me, so I have no choice to carry you to the store.
"NO!" I cried, trying to wiggle out of his grasp.
He laughed gently and smiled down at me.
"I can see you again," he smiled.
This was odd, even for Shin. He never laughed let alone smile and this worried me.
"If something is bothering you, tell me," I said
His kind smile grew cold in the blink of an eye and he let me down.
"I know that, but for now my first priority is keeping you safe. Now, I need you tell me what you remember about Toma and why you're afraid of him," he ordered in a harsher tone.
After I explained everything I had remembered from that point on, Shin looked away with a strange expression that was unfamiliar to me.
"Toma..." he muttered under his breath.
"Shin, I am sorry. I know you two are close," I said without thinking.
"He is no friend of mine. All this means, is that you are in more danger and are never leaving my sight," he finished grabbing my hand with his.
The last few days had been the hardest of my life. Unable to control which path I take next or where it will lead me. This scared me half to death and I couldn't find a way to overcome the fear of being left alone, but this completely different. This fear altogether was something else, the fear of being controlled. Just like before, thoughts and ideas that I had never even acted on...were in my head. Worming their way into me. Forgetting Shin was there I cried out in frustration.
Shin walked over and did something I could never predict. He pulled me close to him suddenly and held me close. I grabbed his shirt and squeezed it as tears fell from my eyes. The loneliness, confusion, and fear all washed out of me at once. It was time to learn how to protect myself and stop relying on others. Although I wanted this moment to last forever, Shin gently laid me down onto my bed. He tucked me in and kissed my head gently and smiled.
"You aren't weak, I just choose to protect you," he said, as if reading my thoughts.
I wondered why he was tucking me into my bed, then I realized it was already 9:00pm.
"You spent the whole day comforting me?" I whimpered.
He nodded and made his way towards the front door.
"I will be back tomorrow afternoon, after my classes are over. Please don't leave the apartment till then," Shin finished as he closed the door behind him.
I was all alone and that was what scared me the most.